The autumn freezing rain soaked the leaves that were barely holding up on the tree braches because of the wind. It was a cold and a silent night, not a soul to be seen. The leaves rustled in the wind, making a calming sound. The street lights were dimmed while flickering, barely lighting anything.

It was quiet in a small alley. The only sound that could be heard was a young man's weeping. He slammed his fist onto the ground, the water in the little dents splashing onto him. He was covered with cold water and did not care one bit. He placed his whole weight in his knees and palms.

Truth to be told, he didn't care about anything. Only one thought and one person was going around his mind, and it was no one else but him. His eyes were fixated to the ground; he did not dare to move. His gun was next to him, shining because of the rain drops and the light that was barely staying on.

The young man stood up, shivering fully and his knees and arms twitching from time to time. He looked around him, and when he was sure that there was no one around, screamed loud enough for another man to hear.

The man with longer hair started running towards the sound; he took a turn to the alley and saw the man who was standing there, his shoulders going up and down from the heavy breathing after the deafening scream. He stood there and stared at the guy in the middle of the dark alley. His eyes caught the body that was laying on the ground, covered in blood and his clothes soaked with water. He rolled his eyes back to the person with a leather jacket.

"Dean!" the younger man yelled and ran towards the shorter one, "Did you scream? What's wro—"he stopped after he saw Dean's face. Anger was filling his eyes, his eyebrows joined into a frown and his teeth clenched tightly. Dean started walking out of the alley and didn't pay attention to the man taller than him, "Where are you going?" Dean did not respond… He continued walking. "Are you even listening?" the taller one yelled. He finally turned his head back a bit and stopped his walking.

"I'll meet you back at the hotel Sam… I am going somewhere…" Dean mumbled while growling, he turned around and continued on his way, leaving Sam in the alley. Sam sighed and stood there for a while, the rain continuing to pour.

…

Dean sat in the first bar he found, emptying his fifth glass of double whiskey. The lady behind the counter was flirting with him but Dean couldn't care less. He just chuckled a couple of times every time she said something and then ask her for another round. After every other drink Dean got angrier and sadder. He remembered his words very clearly: 'I will never leave you, Dean. I promise.' The man's words echoed in Dean's mind.

"You did exactly that you son of a bitch…" he mumbled and drank the whiskey. The bartender lady turned to him with another glass of whiskey.

"Did you say anything, darling?" she smiled at him and placed the glass in front of him.

"No, it's nothing," he took a gulp from the new glass and looked around the bar. He was hoping to see a familiar face but, there was no one to be seen. He went back to his drinking and didn't pay attention to anything that was going around the bar. The lady started talking about her house, life, job and so on… When Dean realized that there was no point at being alone and to drink in peace, he drank the last glass in one gulp, left the money on the counter and exited the bar in a hurry.

When he exited and gave in to the cold rain again, he realized that his gun was not in his pants. He searched his jacket and pants very carefully a couple of times and then looked around him. He checked once more and nothing.

"Damn it!" Dean hissed through his teeth. He was too drunk to go look back in the alley, or was he forbidding himself from going there? He swung his hand and started to walk back to the motel where he and Sam were staying at.

When Dean returned to their room, he found that the front door was locked. Dean sighed and knocked a couple of times, taking a step back. He waited for a couple of seconds until the door opened. Sam stood there with a gun in his hand.

"Whoa…" Dean lifted his hands in the air,"It's just me, don't shoot…" he walked past his annoyed brother and fell on the bed. "Oh yes! The bed… finally…" he snuggled into his bed sheet, still with his wet clothes on.

"Dean. How much did you drink?" Sam closed the front door and sat on the chair, in front of his laptop. He placed the gun on the table and started typing something on the laptop, Dean not answering the asked question. Sam got annoyed, moved his laptop with his finger and looked at the not-moving Dean. "Dean!" Sam yelled, waking Dean up.

"What, what?" he stood up and sat back down on the bed, "What do you want?" Dean barely even saw Sam, his vision was blurry and his head was in pain, his ears filled with white noise. Sam scoffed and stared at Dean.

"What do I want? I want to know where the Hell have you been?" Sam raised his voice a bit and Dean only blinked and munched, his mouth still tasting like whiskey. "Dean, I deserve to know! I am your brother!" Sam started to yell now and Dean's hearing got even worse from that.

"I was at a bar… I have no idea what it is called…" he smiled like an idiot. Sam obviously knew that he was drunk. "I'm fine, don't worry about it~" Dean blinked a couple of times to clear his vision but, nothing.

"Fine… Then, what was that in the alley?" on that Dean flinched and looked at his brother. That question seemed like a cold shower – waking the man in instant. Sam just stared at him, waiting for an answer.

"Nothing happened, why do you ask?" Dean chuckled nervously, trying to cover it up, his sight clearing up. He didn't want to look at Sam by any cost.

"Then why were you so pissed off?" Sam lifted his eyebrow and waited for an answer.

"I was—I wasn't pissed off…" Dean looked away to his left now. 'Damn it… Please, don't question me anymore, Sammy…?' Dean grunted and then finally looked at Sam, "It was nothing, someone framed him… That's it," he smiled and then started taking off his shoes. He threw them in front of the door and settled in his bed again, "Is that all?" he asked and covered himself.

"Yeah… Yeah, that's all…" Sam stood up and went to the bathroom, closing the door shut. Dean sighed and turned on his back, staring at the ceiling. He gripped the sheets tight over his chest and did not look away. After few moments of staring in the empty, he closed his eyes tightly and shook his head.

'You lose everyone, Dean' the voice in his head started reminding him 'You lost your family and friends.' Dean gritted his teeth and shook his head but the voice is still there, 'and now you… Well, you lost Cass.' Dean snapped and sat up.

"Shut up…" he grunted through his teeth, "Just, shut up," he sighed and stood up to go grab a can of soda.

'You tried to think that he is dead, gone for a couple of days… But it only got worse, didn't it?' Dean slammed his fist on the fridge and the door of it slowly opened, he took the can and opened it with a sizzle.

"Stop it… Stop talking, now…" Dean grunted more but, the voice continued.

'If you didn't just sit there and watch them that night, none of this would have happened~' the voice continued in a happy tune. Dean kicked the table and the leg broke, the table falling down. On that, Sam came out of the bathroom only in his trousers, steam coming out of the bathroom.

"Dean…" he looked at his older brother, ruffling his wet hair. Dean quickly lifted the table and turned to Sam.

"Oh just a bug, Sammy…" he chuckled nervously and gulped. Sam, of course, didn't believe him.

'Oh, come on! Why are you lying?' the voice came back which made Dean even more pissed.

"Sure, so what now?" Sam closed the bathroom door and went to his bed to sit down, "Find another job and get you pissed off again?" he huffed and looked up at Dean. On that, Dean threw the empty can and went to his bed, avoiding eye contact.

"I am not pissed off, okay?" Dean's bed squeaked as he slowly sat on it.

'Yes, you are… You want to kill…' the voice was lower now, slowly disappearing.

"No, shut up…" Dean mumbled and Sam raised his eyebrow "I just had a rough day and that's it. Can I have my four hours now?" he grabbed the sheets and covered himself after he took his jacket off and threw it onto the chair.

"I honestly think that we should call Cass, maybe he can help…" Dean didn't answer; he was trying to forget about earlier. Sam scoffed and also got under the sheets of his own bed. After a while, Sam fell asleep while Dean was wide awake. The voice was gone but now, his thoughts piled up. He couldn't take it anymore; Dean shut his eyes and somehow fell asleep, having that same dream.

…

In the morning, both of them packed and continued on their road. Sam forbid himself from asking Dean any questions about last night. Dean, on the other hand, forgot about the voice or at least he thought he did. Sam searched through the newspapers, looking for a job while Dean drove humming his favorite songs.

"Hey, I found something," Dean glanced at Sam and stopped with his humming, "Signature killer decapitates a woman's head at the harbor," Dean only nodded on that and continued with his silence, switching to the next gear, "Let's go check it out them," Sam dropped the news on the cockpit and leaned back in his seat.

It was a long drive; they stopped at Gas 'n' Sip to refuel the Impala and to buy Dean's favorite snacks. Dean was filling up the tank while Sam went around the store, placing sweets and pie in the basket. A young man in a long trench-coat appeared in front of him, which made Sam startle and take a few steps back.

"Cass!" Sam took a deep breath, resting his arms on his knees. He looked up at the man's serious face "What—what's wrong?"

"The hair from the werewolf last night, I took it. I thought you wanted to know so there won't be any misunderstanding between you and your brother," Sam only stared at him, slowly understanding why Dean screamed last night.

"It was because of you? You heard him scream, right?" the man only nodded on that while Sam pointed at him.

"Even though I was in Heaven, I heard him loud and clear. But, it wasn't my fault… I promise…" the sad angel looked down, avoiding eye contact. Sam was very familiar with that move.

"Do you know why then?" Sam asked quite curious; the guardian angel didn't do a thing for a while.

"Yes, I do know why," he raised his head up and looked directly into Sam's eyes, "He lost someone he truly loved and cared about…" Cass closed his eyes for a moment but looked back at his feet. He looked inside of the pocket of his trench-coat and took out a coin, "Here, take this and keep it safe." He placed it in Sam's pocket and vanished while Sam was looking what was the object Cass gave him. When Sam looked up, his angel friend was gone.

A long sigh left Sam's mouth and his shoulders relaxed as he finally settled in Dean's car. Now, he definitely knew what was going on. Dean lost someone very important and doesn't want anyone else to know. One more thing that Sam didn't know how to explain was: how does Cass know? Cass must've been there when it happened, with or without Dean knowing.

During the rest of the drive Dean was commenting about the pie while Sam only nodded, thinking about his brother's loss. Sam leaned his head onto the window and still thought about what Cass said. Dean soon realized that Sam didn't want to talk so he stopped with the pie analysis.

Soon after they have settled in a hotel and had their four hours of sleep. Castiel, in the meantime, observed and helped people. But, even though he was focused on finishing his duties, his thought drifted off to one person only. He wanted—no, he needed to know if he is safe.

Castiel zapped himself to brothers' room. His blue eyes only looking at Dean's calm facial expression. Cass' lips formed into a smile, a nice warm smile he didn't have on for more than four months. Dean grunted on the squeaking Cass made when he took a step closer to him. Dean slowly opened his eyes, saw the angel and rolled to the other side.

Cass blinked and Dean quickly turned back at him and pushed himself upwards, his eyes wide open from the surprise. Castiel waited for Dean to calm down. Dean then slowly sat on the side of the bed and finally looked up at the angel who had to stop smiling.

"Damn it, Cass. We talked about this, it's creepy," Dean was whispering as he stood up and then looked at the sleeping Sam. "Come on, let's go outside…" he came to Cass and placed his gun on the angel's back as he pushed him outside.

Cass felt relieved that he made sure that Dean wasn't angry at him anymore. Dean's hand was shaking and barely touching Castiel's back. Cass didn't pay attention on that, he was just happy. As soon as Dean moved his hand away from him, Cass went back to being neutral. They were outside; Dean closed the door silently and tucked his gun in the waistline of his pants.

"Did something happen? What's wrong, Cass?" Dean came down from the porch and stood in front of Cass, his knees and hands twitching from that familiar feeling he had when he was near Cass.

"No, I just wanted to apologize," Cass was looking directly into Dean's eyes, glancing down at his body from time to time.

"Apologize for what?" Dean raised an eyebrow observing Cass' every movement. Dean was lost in Cass' eyes, drowning in blue.

"For taking the hair from the hunt you were on. We had to burn that so I had to take it," Cass noticed that Dean was acting differently so he looked down which made Dean snap out of his thoughts.

"Oh, if that's all you wanted then I am going back to sleep," Dean wanted to go away from Cass before he would lose control. His green eyes glowed on the street light not so far away from them as they got watery.

"Wait Dean, I have something else to apologize for," Cass reached his arm a little bit but then pulled it back to him. His instincts showed but he was too afraid to touch the man in front of him.

"And what would that be, Cass?" Dean's jaw started to shiver uncontrollably. He clenched his teeth to stop that and prevent it for Cass to see it. Dean didn't want Cass to see him out of control while they aren't as close as they used to be.

"I am sorry for everything, Dean," Cass looked up at him, meeting green eyes which made him experience that feeling again.

"You son of a bitch…" Dean cursed and clicked his tongue. He quickly placed his palm on Cass' cheek, his fingers sliding through Cass' black hair. He leaned in quickly and kissed the angel's soft, moist lips.

Castiel didn't want to move away from the lips he hasn't felt in a long time, Dean's passionate kissing he didn't have. Dean was surprised that Cass returned the kiss. They continued the kissing even though Dean was pushing Cass forward until Cass' back slammed onto the pillar. Dean moved away to take a breather.

"I don't think we should—"Cass got interrupted with another kiss which was now a sign that Dean was out of control. It was wilder but still felt so good. He wanted Cass now and the angel wanted Dean. Dean pushed his tongue into the angel's soft mouth, their saliva mixing.

They both haven't felt like this a long time now - they needed each other. Cass gripped the edges of the wall, trying to control himself. Dean slammed his palm next to Cass' head and stroked the angel's soft black hair with his other hand. Dean moved away slowly and slid his hand down Cass' cheek holding his chin with his thumb.

The kiss broke again. Dean smiled widely and stared at Cass' puckered lips. Cass heavy breathing turned Dean on more. Both of them wanted it now. Cass moved his hands away from pillar and realized that he was shaking. 'Get away from him. Don't hurt him,' the words echoed in the angels head.

"Your acting is crap, you know?" Dean chuckled and moved away from him, moving his hand away from Cass' chin. Castiel's shaking stopped as soon as he remembered what he did to Dean. "Now, where were we?" Dean leaned closer to Cass' lips but Cass moved away, "What's wrong?"

"I am sorry, Dean. I can't do this," he looked at Dean's confused face that quickly turned into an angry one.

"What, Lucifer forbid you?" Dean clenched his teeth on just the thought of him. His thoughts continued to go further and further until he remembered the night.

"No, Dean, this isn't about any of that. And why would you think that Lucifer and I talk? After what he did to me?" Dean clenched his fists tighter on Cass' words, "I just can't, I don't need you to get hurt anymore," Cass took a few steps towards the parking lot.

"You don't want me to get hurt?! Cass, without you I am right back in Hell! You shouldn't have even bothered pulling me out of there if you want me to feel like I am back in there!" Dean pointed at the ground with his hand but Cass didn't turn around.

"I am sorry, Dean, this is the last time…" Castiel looked over his shoulders and saw Dean's eyes getting red.

"Listen to me… If you ever come back, I'll have no mercy… I swear to God," Dean's voice was shaking, "You hear me?!" Dean yelled at him and Cass turned his head back.

"Yes, I hear you. Goodbye, Dean, forever…" Castiel's tear slid down and he vanished from Dean's sight. He wanted to yell but quickly calmed himself, his head tilted down.

"Cass…"

So! I still suck at writing but oh well!
I am finally on Season 9 of Supernatural, don't judge! XD
Yes, yes~ i am evil~ I colored the reason of the incident that happened between Cass and Dean.
I write Cass instead of Cas. Because of the English subtitles.

Finally little action between them, eh? heuheuheheuehuheu

And also, the gun that Sam was holding when Dean came back was Dean's. Didn't write about that one, yeah xD

Thank you for the rewievs! Keep it up you guys!

Editor: AnnaHiwatari

(my sister btw, the editor is my sister who doesn't watch the show but damn she is a good writer! Check her out on !)