Real Time

Timing had always been a problem for Morgan and Garcia…and communication. He had told her on more than one occasion and in more than one way that he loved her. Each time she had not heard or had not understand his true meaning. The two of them had bonded in some strange powerful way from the moment he'd mistakenly caller her, "Gomez." She remembered the day he'd gotten her name wrong and given her the nickname that would be his special name for her for the next ten years.

She was the only woman who he'd allowed behind the wall that he had erected around his heart. He had tried so hard to protect himself from the pain inflicted by others. Buford had taught him to close himself off from emotion. He'd taught him the consequences of allowing people in too close. He'd gotten quite good at it actually. He'd give his life to protect his family and his team, in fact it was his personal mission to make sure that those he loved were safe at all cost and in his line of work that was a near impossible mission. All of himself that he gave, he refused to let anyone give it back in return.

Penelope had gotten quite good at hiding her feelings for Morgan. Sure he would never love her, sure she wasn't his type, she settled for a relationship with Kevin Lynch. Kevin was a sweet, kind man who loved her but absolutely stood no chance of winning her heart. As long as Derek Morgan existed no other man stood a chance with her. This fact, she hadn't quite admitted to herself. She didn't understand why she seemed challenged in the relationship department. They always started out well, she even felt something for the poor unsuspecting chaps but it wasn't enough to fill the emptiness around her heart…not even close.

Morgan had watched Penelope get involved with Kevin Lynch and it broke him. He'd nearly lost her to a vicious attack by Jason Clark Battle. It had forced him to do something that he'd long forgotten how to do…pray. He'd hidden his true feelings for her for too long and promised himself that if God spared her life he'd tell her how he felt. So he did yet she chose Lynch. Looking back, perhaps he hadn't made himself clear after all, they were best friends and best friends loved each other, right?

She seemed happy with Lynch and their relationship had lasted for several years. He wanted her to be happy and if Lynch made her happy than he had to give up his notion of being with her. So, he found comfort although temporary with meaningless short-term relationships fully living up to his reputation as a player. No matter how many women he dated and slept with he felt empty, cold and despicable. There had to be more. He refused to believe that there was something flawed within him that prevented him from loving a woman without hurting her. Penelope was who he wanted yet she knew him better than anyone and when he professed his love she ran in the opposite direction confirming what he couldn't admit even to himself. He was not meant to be truly happy or truly loved. His childhood had proven that, Carl Buford was his master teacher, had taught him, and chose him for a sick depraved love that wasn't love at all. It was dirty and filthy and he had been convinced that it was all he could have.

Then he met Savannah. She was gorgeous, smart and totally devoted to her work as a doctor. The timing was perfect. Kevin had broken up with Penelope because she had turned down his marriage proposal. After several months he'd watched her recover from the break up. He wanted to think that perhaps they could have a chance but then she got involved with Sam. He was reeling and in need of the company of someone who would stay and make him feel something, anything. His heart was screaming for proof that he wasn't a hopeless un-loveable slob.

She was different not like the other faceless beauties he'd settled for. She peaked his curiosity and she wasn't easy. She called him on his shit and made him work for her attention. She saw the man that needed to be loved, that was hurting and that had had it way to easy when it came to the conquest of the opposite sex. He liked the challenge and the distraction and so he got comfortable with her and began the work of forgetting about a life with Penelope beyond a friendship. But there was one fatal flaw that he couldn't overlook…Savannah was not Penelope. Now the question was would she do instead? He didn't need to ponder that question…he already knew the answer.

Home of Derek Morgan – Evening

The two best friends hadn't spent much time together. Penelope had Sam now and spent most of her free time with him. Penelope was excited about spending more time with Derek. He'd been busy and unavailable lately but she'd assumed he'd found a way to occupy his time.

He let her pick the movie while he got the snacks ready. He missed this time with her-their Friday nights spent watching movies, eating, acting silly, talking and enjoying each other. He hadn't told her about Savannah. He didn't know how.

Watching her rummage through his movie collection made him smile as he sat the tray of snacks on the table in front of them. She glanced back at him from her spot on the floor waving her choice. He shook his head, another chick flick, he thought. It didn't matter she was here with him.

After putting the movie in and pressing the start button, Penelope assumed her position next to him snuggling close and laying her head on his shoulder. Instinctively his arm wrapped around her pulling her close to his body. He closed his eyes for a moment and inhaled her sweet aroma. He had to tell her.

"I met someone."

Penelope's head shot up her eyes landing on his. She saw the expectation in his eyes…and the fear.

"What?"

Boom! That's how the explosion sounded in her heart. Deep down she'd always thought it would be just the two of them in the end. Yeah, she'd dated Kevin and now she was with Sam but they had just been placeholders until Derek and her got themselves together and ready to love each other.

"When?"

"About two months ago."

That's when things had changed between them, she thought. He'd stopped being so critical of Sam, stopped inquiring into their plans…stopped confiding in her…

"Say something." He lightly pleaded.

She sat up and moved out of his embrace wanting to remain calm but her heart simply would not cooperate. Besides, she wasn't supposed to care what he did with his private life, right? They were friends, nothing more.

"I-I I'm happy for you."

He relaxed at her words searching still for the truth in her eyes. Why was it important for her to be okay with this? He thought. She had Sam now and she was happy again.

"Thanks…"

"Are you happy?"

"Yeah. I think so. Yes…yes, I'm happy."

"Okay, well good." She smiled wanting to be happy for him. "What's her name?"

"Savannah."

"Savannah."

"Yes."

"That's a nice name…"

She hadn't expected to hear news that would shatter her well constructed world. As long as he wasn't in a serious relationship then there was a chance and he was never in a serious relationship. Derek Morgan didn't do relationships! The one-night stands and two-week trysts didn't threaten her bubble, until now. This was different…he was different. She knew the others had existed but she also knew that their time with him was limited because he was always restless and would soon lose interests. Not this time. She'd miscalculated somehow.

Her heart pounded wildly in her heart. Her mind tried desperately to reason with it to plead with it to calm down, but there was no reasoning and it kept beating wildly to get her attention, to make her realize the truth that she had lost him this time.

Yes, this time was different because this time he did something that he'd never done before…he told Penelope the woman's name. She had always loved the name, Savannah…but not anymore.

That's Chapter 1! But is not over until the beautiful curvaceous blonde sings!

Stay tuned…