The Way You Make Me Feel Chapter 1, a lost girl fanfic

This is a work of fiction. Some names, characters, items/objects, places, and incidents are the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. No part of this story may be reproduced without the permission of the author. This story is available free of charge and cannot be re-distributed for profit.

This story is rated Mature – contains minor coarse language, some violence and adult themes.

It was a cold gray early Monday afternoon as a bolt of lightning tore across the sky, thunder rolling in from the west. The wind whistled through the trees and the bushes sighed. Tamsin sat on her chair, slumped over and depressed, looking out her window in a zombie-like daze that overlooked the apartment complex.

It's been two weeks since that dreadful day. A day of mourning among friends and family. The day Kenzi sacrificed herself to save the world. It hit Bo really hard as the succubus cursed herself for not realizing the young woman's intentions. It especially hit Tamsin the hardest, like ten thousand tons of bricks falling down on you. Kenzi was always there for her, helping the valkyrie through the rebirth process and protecting her when she could not protect herself, something no one has ever done before for Tamsin. She grew close to the small brunette during that time.

So when Bo, Trick, Dyson and Lauren came to see the blonde about a week ago to discuss their plan on getting Kenzi back, Tamsin had very little hope of succeeding. The group constantly asked for her help and participation, but the valkyrie kept reminding them that what they were attempting has never been done before. That last moment of seeing Kenzi alive constantly replayed in her head, remembering every little detail about her human friend before she stumbled through the portal:

As Bo tried to fight through Dyson's grip, she yelled out to Kenzi. The valkyrie saw the young woman turn around and smile; the small brunette's face filled with love and happiness. At that moment, Tamsin knew that the best friend Kenzi cared and loved for as a sister was finally there for her, something that the small brunette was desperately seeking for the past few months.

A knock at the door disrupted the valkyrie's train of thoughts. "Who is it," Tamsin inquired, her voice cracked.

"Can we come in," a familiar voice gently asked. The blonde slowly closed her eyes, knowing who was behind the door.

"Just let me be," the valkyrie's words choked in her throat.

"Please?"

Tamsin hesitated for a moment, trying to clear all traces of sorrow and grief from her face. "Fine," she replied softly. "It's unlocked."

The door creaked open as Bo, Dyson and Lauren silently strolled in.

"How are you doing," the shifter delicately asked.

Tamsin pulled several tissues from the box, shifting her gaze to everyone in the room. Her sparkling emeralds filled with unshed tears. Dyson hated to see Tamsin like this as he released a heartfelt sigh.

"Tamsin," Dyson started.

"Don't," the valkyrie interrupted, her hand covering her mouth to stifle a sob. A lone tear escaped from the corner of her eye as she looked down, her voice cracking, "Just … please don't."

Bo knelt beside Tamsin as she tried to comfort her by gently squeezing her knee. "Tamsin, this isn't healthy for you," the succubus pleaded. "You've been locked up in your apartment for over two weeks now since it happened. You're pushing us away and …"

"Did you find her," the valkyrie blurted out as she stared out the window with a blank expression on her face.

With her peripheral vision, Tamsin noticed that everyone bowed their head in silence. She knew what that meant; their plan failed. The valkyrie's bottom lip quivered as she spoke in a shaky voice, wiping her nose with a tissue, "I told you. It's never been done before. We just have to deal with it ... she's gone."

"Tamsin, you need …" Dyson tried to offer his comfort for the valkyrie, but Tamsin interrupted the shifter with her unsettling voice and sad eyes.

"I can't eat. I can't sleep. I can't even think straight. I ... I just can't stop thinking about her. My heart hurts Dyson. It really hurts." Tamsin looked out the window once again.

Lauren interjected, "We're all grieving Tamsin. She was a part of us as well. It will take time. Trust me."

Time. That is something Tamsin can't deal with. Trying to live her life without the small brunette hit her hard in the gut. The waterworks finally broke through the valkyrie's exterior.

"I'm a valkyrie," her breathing labored and voice strained. "We're built for war, not emotions. And yet I feel this way ... because of her. In all my lifetimes, I never met anyone like her. She is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I don't know if I can go on. I miss her ... so damn much." Tamsin quickly covered her face with her hands as she shook uncontrollably, her sobs permeating through the apartment.

Bo placed her hand on the valkyrie's shoulder as she whispered in her ear, "We all missed her Tamsin." She slowly removed her hand from Tamsin's shoulder and stood up.

It took several seconds to register finally what Bo said. Tamsin gradually stared at the group with questioning eyes, wiping her tears away with the tissue. "Missed," she asked curiously.

Everyone smiled at her as they shifted their gaze to the open door.

"Tam Tam," a small voice called out in the distance.

Tamsin's eyes grew wide as a small shadow casually walked into the apartment. The valkyrie shot up from her chair and weaved around the group, standing within ten feet of the dark mass. The blonde brought her shaky hands up to her mouth as if she was praying, her voice in a shaky whisper, "Kenzi?!"

The shadow moved closer to the valkyrie as it stood under the ceiling lights. Her petite frame stood at attention, her black mane flowed freely down to the middle of her back. The tight-fitting clothes accentuated every curve of her figure. Her fingers fidgeted eagerly as her piercing blue orbs looked at her disheveled friend with love and concern. She flashed a genuine smile as she whispered softly, "It's me."

Tamsin's breathing became erratic as she cupped her hands over her mouth, quickly glaring at the group with uncertainty in her eyes. She quickly dropped her hands to her sides, clenching them into tight fists. The valkyrie lowered her voice as she gravely asked, "This better not be some sick joke you are pulling."

"It's not a joke," the young woman said, her voice barely above a whisper. "It's really me."

The valkyrie diverted her attention to the young woman in front of her as she gradually took a small step back. The small brunette's smile slowly faded from her face as she gently wrapped her arms around her body.

"I'm sorry," Tamsin apologized in an unsettled whisper. "But I need to know."

The small brunette quickly nodded in acceptance. She did not blame Tamsin for being like this; if she were in her shoes she would act the same way, wanting to know the person standing in front of her was who they say they were.

The blonde swallowed hard, composing herself as best she could as she asked the first question, "What did I say to you after we won the Dance-Off Deathmatch?"

The young woman chuckled lightly, "I think I clenched my cheeks too hard." The small brunette took a step towards Tamsin.

Tamsin couldn't help but flash a small smile as she took a step towards Kenzi. "Lucky guess," her voice strained. She wiped her nose with the tissue as she continued her questioning. "What was Trick's emergency source of blood stored in when we found it at the Dal that day?"

The small brunette smiled again as her eyes began to water, her voice breaking at the end, "Inside a magical Japanese puzzle box." She took another step forward to the valkyrie.

The blonde's bottom lip quivered, drawing in a shaky breath as she took another step forward, her heart beating faster. Her eyes filled with unshed tears as she asked, in a shaky voice, one last question to the young woman, "On the day ... you sacrificed yourself ... you had me translate a passage for you from the small book I found. Afterwards, you made me promise you something. What was that promise ... word for word?"

The small brunette closed her eyes for a split second as a lone tear rolled down her cheek, her bottom lip trembled. She slowly brought her hands to her mouth, taking one last step forward as she stood right in front of the valkyrie. She answered her friend softly in a shaky voice, "Let's not tell Bo yet. Let's get Lauren first okay?"

Tamsin's world was brought back to life. She didn't think it was possible, but they somehow managed to get Kenzi back. A shockwave of emotions traveled through the valkyrie's body as she collapsed to the floor, sobbing and shaking uncontrollably. Kenzi dropped to her knees and clutched the blonde's head in her hands, staring at the watery emeralds before her. The valkyrie rested her hands on Kenzi's cheeks for a split second then wrapped her arms tightly around the young woman, holding her like a lifeline. Her wails of happiness and joy sliced through the apartment, tears constantly flowed down both women's cheeks as the small brunette stroked Tamsin's blonde locks, gently rocking the valkyrie back and forth. They held their embrace for another five minutes as they relished this memorable moment.

"I missed you so much," the blonde whispered in Kenzi's ear, her voice strained and shaky.

"I missed you too Tam Tam," Kenzi said, her voice cracked.

Tamsin slowly tilted her head towards Kenzi, her bloodshot eyes staring into the frosty blues as the blonde stated in a jittery voice, tears still flowing down her cheeks, "You are too important to me Kenzi … You are the best friend I ever had. I will do everything I can to protect you … I will always be there for you when you need me … I can't lose you again. This … is my blood oath to you."

Kenzi pressed her trembling lips softly against the valkyrie's temple as she looked into her eyes and whispered, wiping the blonde's tears away, "Thank you so much Tamsin. That means the world to me."

Kenzi shifted her gaze to Dyson as she asked the shifter, "Can you help me pick her up D-man?"

"Sure," Dyson answered as he sauntered over, helping Tamsin to her feet.

"They told me you haven't been eating or sleeping lately," Kenzi questioned the valkyrie softly as Dyson guided the blonde to the couch. The goth girl sat next to Tamsin as she gently rubbed soothing circles on the blonde's back.

"Yeah," Tamsin whispered as she genuinely smiled for the first time in weeks. "I think I can finally sleep now, knowing that you're back with us."

Bo knelt in front of Tamsin as she placed her hands on the valkyrie's knees, quietly speaking to the blonde, "We're all going to spend the night here. Even though Kenzi's back, we're still worried about you. Tamsin … according to Lauren … you're borderline suicidal."

The blonde's bottom lip trembled as she looked at Kenzi, her eyes begging for forgiveness. Tears spilled from the valkyrie's eyes. The young woman cradled Tamsin's head as she whispered reassurances in the valkyrie's ear.

"I'm going to head back to my apartment and pick up some things," Lauren nervously said as she tried to lighten the mood. "Then I'll head out to the grocery store. I'll be back shortly."

"I'll go with you," Bo added as she looked at Lauren. "I need to swing by my place to pick up some extra change of clothes for Kenzi and I."

"I need to head back to the cop shop and finish up on a few things," the shifter said. "I'll be back as well."

Kenzi lifted her gaze from the valkyrie to Bo as she blurted out, "I'll stay here with Tamsin."

As the group left the apartment, Kenzi pulled Tamsin into her as they gently laid down on the couch, the valkyrie resting her head in the crook of the young woman's neck. The blonde's cries slowly subsided as she looked up into the azure eyes she desperately needed to see these past two weeks. Tamsin tenderly caressed Kenzi's face as she leaned in and softly kissed her cheek.

"Stay with me," Tamsin asked lovingly.

The young woman smiled at her friend as she played with the blonde's locks, quietly answering the valkyrie, "Always."

Tamsin finally felt at ease, knowing that Kenzi was alive again and safe in her arms. The valkyrie slowly drifted to sleep.

AUTHOR'S NOTES:

This story was very difficult for me to write because of all the emotional parts. I would fall apart after writing each emotional piece. I somehow managed to get through it, but my box of tissues weren't happy though as I went through half of it in one sitting!

Thank you so much for all your support.