*This story is not anti-Twilight. Whatever I say in my A/Ns, this story will never become anti-Twilight.

Funny thing about falling in love for the first time, you sort of fall in love with everyone and everything in the world, not just one person. At least, it happened that way with me. When I first moved to Forks in my Junior year of highschool, everything about it was a thing I hated: the weather, the lack of sunlight, the drippy inbred townspeople who walked the in the footprints of their parents, their grandparents, their great-grandparents. Nobody ever left and nothing ever happened, and the sun never shone.

I loved Forks now. I loved the cozy, familial atmosphere of the inhabitants. I loved the misty gray-greens that formed a backdrop for this sleepy, haunted town. I loved my school. I loved my friends. I loved my surly, quiet father. I no longer minded that the sun came out infrequently—after all, that made the days when it did shine more exciting than Christmas.

And of course, I loved Edward—oh, my Edward. My floppy-haired, sweet-eyed boy with the enigmatic smile and the deliciously (sometimes alarmingly) twisted past. Loving him had unlocked some door deep inside me, allowed me to see the good in everything. When I first came out to live with my dad in this one-horse town, I'd have given almost anything for a reason to stay away. Now you couldn't pay me to leave. I was a fucking convert.

Right now, even through my closed eyelids I could tell that the sun was shining, and it was Christmas—the Forks double-whammy. Okay, not Christmas Day. But this was my last day of classes before my winter break, the end of my penultimate semester in highschool, and I couldn't wait to get midterms out of the way so I could dedicate myself more fully to my favorite pastime: making out with Edward Cullen. Speaking of which...

"Wake up, Sleepybella," came a singsong voice through my dreamy ruminations. "Don't want to miss exams, do you?" I opened my eyes slowly, luxuriating in the sunshine. Edward smushed hs face up against my neck and nuzzled until I giggled and squirmed out of reach. Then, thinking better of it, I curved my hand behind his neck and brought him closer for a proper wake-up kiss. His eyes were pale yellow this morning. I could have sworn they were brown last night.

"Did you go out to eat?" I asked him, sitting up.

"Mm hmm," he murmured. "All full."

"Where'd you go?" I asked, getting out of bed and stretching. We were talking quietly, knowing that Charlie still hadn't left for work and that Edward wasn't technically supposed to spend most nights keeping me company in my room.

"Rosalie's volunteering at a couple of animal shelters in Seattle, on days when she doesn't have class," said Edward. "They're kill shelters. She brings home the animals that're due for euthanization. We bury them in the wilderness after we've emptied them."

Somehow, even though I was used to the fact that Edward needed his food still kicking, this brought me up short. I knew it was better this way: if they were eating rejected strays from the admittedly over-crowded kill shelters, they weren't straining local populations of deer and wolves and bears. Still, it could be a hard thing to stomach.

"Sometimes I miss the days when we could go out, run down a mountain lion and just eat one or two," said Edward. I honestly couldn't tell if he was joking or not. "I know this is better for everyone, but it takes a lot of stray cats to fill me up."

"Redacted." I said. "I've decided I need to wait till I've had my own breakfast before I hear about yours."

"Sorry," said Edward, kissing me. "I should get going anyway. I'll see you at school?"

"You bet, handsome," I said, swatting his tight little butt as he passed.

Edward kissed me one last time and left as he'd come, through the window.

I didn't worry about my exams. Alice had offered to give me a preview of the questions I would face, but I'd declined the offer. Even so, it wasn't difficult for me to ace almost everything, given how many hours I'd spent at the Cullen house studying. Even accounting for all the making-out breaks we took, Edward and I shared a love of learning. And if I didn't do so well on my Calculus final, I more than made up for it in English.

After school, both Jessica and Angela came over to work on college applications and hang out. They were applying to universities in California and Oregon, but I'd decided to stay in Forks and attend community college in Seattle for two years before transferring to a university. Edward was aghast at my decision, but I ignored his protestations that his family could easily afford to send me to a "real" college. My sense of pride wouldn't allow me to lean so heavily on my boyfriend's family for money, even though they could afford it. And Charlie didn't make enough to send me anywhere fancy for four years; two would have to do.

Over a tub of Nutella ice cream, Jessica griped at us about how her boyfriend Mike was acting like—surprise!—a teenage boy. I had to admit, although dating Edward Cullen had its fair share of pitfalls, none of them included teenagery dickishness. I guess that's one perk of dating an immortal.

The next day, I went over to the Cullen place for a little end-of-classes/pre-Christmas party Alice had arranged. Even Emmett and Rosalie had returned from their first semester at UDub, to spend the holidays with their family. Emmett joked around with me for a while, but Rosalie kept to herself, as always. Unlike Esme and Alice, she'd never warmed to me. Edward tried to convince me that her behavior was rooted in some personal history that had nothing at all to do with me, but I couldn't help feeling like I'd done something to turn her away. I found Rosalie Hale unbelievably fascinating. She was beautiful in exactly the way that is most acceptable in the Western world—creamy skin; luscious, trim, feminine figure; flowing shiny golden hair, the whole nine—but there was always a faint aura of otherworldiness about her. Aesthetically, she looked like she should fit in anywhere, be accepted by anyone. But she acted like a very convincing alien trying to fit in on planet Earth. Then again, maybe I was the only one who saw that. Any time I tried to explain it to Jess or Ange, they looked at me like I was crazy. They only saw her beauty, but I saw something intense and a little frightening underneath.

Oddly enough, although Alice was the one who looked like a fairy from the other side of the looking-glass, she was also the one who most effortlessly put people at their ease. She had invited a few people from school to enjoy punch and cookies and listen to music. She flitted around from person to person, her tinkling laugh the engine that kept us all cheerful even in the short days and low sunlight of a Washington State Christmas. Afterward, I offered to stay behind and help clear up—but that was no more than an excuse to eke out another hour or two in this house, surrounded by these people. It felt like a second home to me, just as much mine as the house I had long since ceased to think of merely as "Charlie's place".

After such a relaxing, pleasant afternoon, I forgot I was in a den of vampires and grew careless. Leaving the bathroom, I caught my hand in the door and ripped half the nail off my pinky finger. Before I could even yelp in pain, everything went into overdrive: Jasper, who had been sitting with Alice on the couch, sprinted at me with an insane growl emitting from his mouth. Edward got to me first and swung me out of the way, but he needn't have bothered, because Alice, resolutely holding her breath, tackled Jasper through a wall. The whole thing had taken about two seconds.

"Come on," said Edward, breathing heavily. "Let's go." He took my other hand and led me out to his car. We sat there quietly for a couple of minutes before Edward steadied himself enough to put the car in gear and back out of the driveway.

"Are you okay?" I asked him, putting as much pressure on the nailbed as I could without crying in pain. "Is the smell...should I get out?"

Edward looked over at me and smiled tensely. "No," he said. "I can handle that just fine. And if it gets too hard, I know how to counter it." He clucked his tongue at me.

"So which part aren't you handling so well?" I asked.

"This is the third time I've seen it," he said. "In Alice's mind. A vision of your death. I'm getting pretty tired of it, I can tell you."

"Oh," I said quietly. "Well, um...what should we do? Should I stop coming around?"

"I don't know," said Edward miserably. "I hate this. I know Jas doesn't want to hurt you; he'd never forgive himself if he did. Most of the time he catches it in time to get out of the way. I mean, this ain't his first rodeo, as he would say. No high school is going to be completely free of papercuts and hangnails, and he's gotten quite good at extracting himself from these situations before they become dangerous. But your blood…"

"Let me guess," I said drily, "it 'sings' to him too?" That was how Carlisle had described it: my blood sang to Edward. That was what caused him such unbearable pain when I was near. Pain he endured willingly enough; but I still had a guilt complex about it.

"Not as loudly as to me," said Edward, "but still plenty loud, and his resistance is lower than mine; and besides, he's not in love with you. I don't know. I don't know what to do."

"Edward," I said hesitantly, "isn't this exactly the sort of thing that would be fixed if I just became like you? I mean, would it be the worst thing in the world, if one of you bit me? Then you couldn't hurt me. No one could. I would be safe, then." This wasn't the first time I had made the argument. But Edward's answer was always the same.

"That's not really a viable solution to our problems," he said heavily. "There'd be no going back for you, Bella. And trust me, living like this is harder than living as a human. You don't want this."

"Yeah," I said, "but think about it. How much older than you do you think I really want to get? I...I don't see this ending any time soon. At least, if it does, I won't be the one to end it." I looked at my finger, which was now turning purple from the restricted blood-flow. The sight of the torn-off nail turned my stomach, but not as much as the thought of what would happen if Edward dumped me. I guess that's a fear everyone has when they fall in love for the first time. Strange, how new this still felt after a year together. Or perhaps, not new but fresh, like flowers still growing in the ground, changing but never wilting.

"Bella," said Edward gently, and his hand entered my field of vision, covered my trembling fingers and held them tightly. "I will never, ever leave you. Not unless you ask me to. And even then, I will never want you any less, no matter what. Vampires don't change. This isn't an empty promise. I will never change." He said it simply, quietly. And I believed him. I always believed him.

"Well, neither will I," I said. "Not about this. I'm not saying I want you to take a bite this second, but...I don't want to lose you, Edward. Not now, not in eighty years when I die of old age. And we need to think about, you know, the reality of—"

"We're here," Edward said flatly, looking out the window. I shut my mouth, feeling hurt that he wouldn't even hear me out. But then I followed his eyeline and realized what it was he was looking at.

"Ah," I said, looking at the black Ford parked in front of my house. Two figures were huddled out of the rain, sheltering on my porch. I was glad to see one of them—Jake, the taller of the two, and the only one on his feet. His father Billy, on the other hand—it seemed we never crossed paths without him giving me a worried scowl, and it wouldn't help for him to see me climbing out of Edward Cullen's BMW. Not that I could avoid that now…

"See you tomorrow," I muttered, giving Edward a harried kiss goodbye. I covered my head with my backpack and rushed through the downpour to the porch.

"Hey Jake," I said, digging in my pocket for my key. "Hello, Billy."

"Bella," said Billy gravely, nodding his head once in greeting.

"Hey Bella," said Jacob, much more eagerly than his father. "Here, let me help you with that—"

"Girl can unlock her own damn door, son," said Billy gruffly. Jake stepped back sheepishly. I didn't like hearing Billy embarrass his son in front of people, even if it was unintentional and the people were only me. I felt weirdly protective of Jacob, who was only sixteen and one of my best friends. So as soon as Jake had wheeled Billy into my living room, I made a point of giving him an extra-tight hello hug.

"You guys want anything?" I asked. "Coffee? Tea? It's turning cold..."

"Just in time for Christmas," said Jake. "Hey, you should come to the rez now that you're out of school. I had my last class Friday—"

"Jake, I just remembered I left that picture of Becca in the car," interrupted Billy. "The one I brought to show Charlie. Run out and grab it, will ya?"

"Oh," said Jacob, his shoulders slumping. "Yeah, sure. Be right back." He darted back out into the rain, letting the screen door slam behind him.

"Okay, Billy," I said wearily. "Let's have it. Why are you really here?"

"I know that Cullen kid is your boyfriend, and I can only assume you think you know him, but you need to take more care," he said abruptly. "The Cullens are bad news, Bella. You need to be careful how close you get to them."

"I know exactly what you're talking about," I said. Billy's eyes widened. "Billy, come on. I've been with Edward for over a year. Do you really think I don't know...everything you know?" Billy shrugged.

"I hoped," he said. "I hoped you didn't know, because if you do know and you're still choosing to align yourself with them—"

"I think you're wrong about them," I interrupted firmly. "I mean, how would you even know? They don't go onto the reservation, do they?"

Billy scowled, an unusual sight in his usually cheerful face. He was clearly in a bad mood tonight. I just hoped he wouldn't decide it was his place to warn my dad that his daughter's polite, chivalrous boyfriend was also a blood-sucking nightmare creature.

"Just be careful," he said. "Charlie's my oldest friend, and I know you may not believe this but I do care about what happens to him and his kin. I won't say anything about it to him—yet. But please watch out, will you?"

"I don't know what you would say, even if you wanted to," I said carefully, looking him dead in the eyes. "Charlie likes Edward." Okay, he tolerated Edward. He'd liked him more before he started dating me.

"He may like Edward, but that's only because he doesn't know Edward," said Billy. I sucked in my breath, surprised that he'd actually come right out and said something openly for once.

"Billy," I said, going for broke, "I know about the treaty." It was his turn to look surprised. "They haven't broken it, have they? The treaty just says they have to stay away from the tribe, and they can't—" my voice dropped to a whisper"—bite anyone. And I've been with Edward this long and nothing has happened. I'm over there all the time and it's always been fine." I curled my pinky finger under guiltily as I said this. "Don't you think it's time to start believing them when they say they're not like the others? This is getting ridiculous."

Billy sighed and seemed about to speak when the front door opened again and Charlie walked in. "Look who I found half-submerged out there," he said jocularly. Jacob peered out from behind my dad and waved ironically. The whole top of his t-shirt was soaked, and it stuck to his bony shoulders.

"I can't find it, Dad," he said. "Where'd you say it was?"

"Aw, shoot, son," said Billy in what I knew to be a falsely cheerful voice, "I had it here in my pocket. I'm sorry! Here, Charlie, I brought you some of Harry's fish-fry. You hungry for dinner?" He held out a large brown paper bag, full of something that left grease spots all down the sides.

"Hell yeah," said Charlie. "Here, I'll put some potatoes on." With one last sorrowful look in my direction, Billy wheeled after my father into the kitchen.

I turned to Jake. He was starting to shiver with cold, although he was also trying not to show it. There were little glassy beads of rain dusting the top of his head. His long hair stuck to his face. He looked like a drowned kitten. It smote my heart something fierce.

"Come on," I said firmly, taking him by the hand and leading him to the stairs. "Let's get you something dry to wear."

"Oh, thank god," he said. "I'm cold enough to piss vinegar." I snorted with laughter and brought him into my room, leaving the door open behind us. I began going through my drawers, looking for a t-shirt that would fit him and wouldn't look too girly. I finally spotted one I'd slept in only a few times and turned to toss it to him. Then I blushed red as wine, because he'd taken off his shirt while I was looking for clothes and was now standing very wetly in just his shorts in the middle of my bedroom. Jacob didn't seem to notice, though; he just grabbed the shirt out of midair and pulled it over his head. "Thanks," he said gratefully. "Stupid Forks. It was so nice yesterday. How was I supposed to know it would turn into this in one day?"

"You should have learned that by now," I said. "Maybe it affects you more because you're all skin and bones, ever think of that?" I nudged him playfully in the ribs.

"You're one to talk," he said, nudging me back. "Come on, let's go fatten up. I smell fish fry."

Like Long Long Long, this story is an attempt to resolve my feelings about the Twilight series and the powerful draw it has on my imagination. Where that story addressed mostly characterization, this story will address mostly content: the plots of New Moon, Eclipse and Breaking Dawn will be reworked and at times rewritten to better reflect what I feel are important qualities for a fantasy novel. This means I will be focusing on continuity, plausibility, pacing, and complexity. If the end result is a story that is both entertaining and internally consistent, I will consider this experiment a success. If I can also manage to retroactively correct the uncontrolled racism, sexism, classism, ageism and general sense of entitlement and privilege of the original series, I will be very well pleased.

When necessary, I will explain major changes in A/Ns to follow each chapter. They will be bolded to make them easier to skip, for those who wish to read this as a straightforward fanfiction. I welcome your reviews and commentary, but I would ask that you keep in mind that my disdain for Smeyer's craft is not indicative of my feelings about the people who love her books. Serious and uncompromising critique of Smeyer's writing is not an attack on her fans. If you are a hardcore Twilight enthusiast, I hope you will still find this story rewarding. If you are, like me, a spiteful malcontent who would quibble with God himself, then Hey! You've come to the right place.