Pyromania

Hey! I don't know if you guys know this or not, but I love the PC game Team Fortress 2. It's pretty much one of the best games I've ever played! I like to choose the Pyro, who really likes fire. I also play as the Scout, who's really fast. ANYWAYS, I've always wondered what's behind Pyro's mask (a male,female, other?). Also, WE NEED MORE TF2 FANFICS! Let's see what happens when Pyro and Scout...well...start a fire! (I see what you did there :)

I'm typing this on my phone so sorry if something looks wrong. This first chapter will be in Scout's perspective.

I don't own the characters,Valve does!

Grass grows, birds fly, sun shines, and brother? I hurt people.

That was my motto. I didn't say it just to sound tough, because I am tough. I'm the fastest one out here. Nobody can catch me, and I'd like to keep it that way. Lately, I know I haven't been living up to my own personal standards. Dropping the intelligence, not pushing the cart hard enough, all that crap. I don't think anybody notices or cares, which is good for me. I've got a reputation to keep around here, and I'm not planning on losing it anytime soon. More or less, I know everybody here, and they know me. That old grandpa engineer really knows me. I can't do crap without him giving me a life lesson about aiming correctly, or not drinking too much Bonk!, or even girls. I know he's just trying to help but it's gonna be a long process before I even work up enough patience to listen to him. Everyone else seems stable, except for Demoman. I ain't saying that he's a total phsyco, it's just that he's always drunk and,well, doing unspeakable stuff (if you know what I mean). I've got everyone else figured out, I know their personalities and accents too. Well, I guess nearly everybody. It's just that one guy, or maybe girl, with the heavy, black gas mask on. The gear on 'em looks like it's dragging them down a bit. I watch him/her play with matches before they go to bed, or at least I can see the light from it from my dorm room. All I've heard from it is muffled cries, laughs, and whatever else. That suit brings out the curves on 'em too...maybe it is a chic! If it is, then she's mine! All the others probably wouldn't be her type anyways...man I gotta get more sleep...I've been called a player before but am I becoming one? Whatever gender it is, I only know that it's best friend is fire. Any kind of fire, from anywhere. He/she didn't even put its real name on the mercenary application. We just know it by one name:

Pyro.

"Ah, you are interested in ze Pyro, no?" Spy asked. Out of all the people in the station, Spy had to ask me that. I honestly didn't even know if it was truly him or not, thanks to his stupid little disguise kit. If you wanna sneak around everywhere, then you should have the skill to do it without help!

"How'd you know that I was thinking about him? Or her." I said.

"I didn't know just before you told me," the Frenchie said. Man was I stupid then. That guy was a freakin' magician it seemed.

"Ah, I was just kidding, my rough friend. You have seemed so deep in thought, though. Plus, everyone wonders about ze Pyro. No surprise." He lighted a cigar, giving me his "reassuring" nod.

Never share your thoughts with Spy, I told myself. Or with anyone for that matter. I nodded back, but with a straight face.

Later that day I found myself laying in my bed, after an Intelligence battle at 2Fort. I always imagined what Pyro thought of that map. There was somewhat clean water down in the sewers that made up about a third of the map. She must've been nervous...she couldn't use her flame thrower underwater. And what if she couldn't switch to her axe in time? Back to the respawn room for her.

I'm calling it a girl again aren't I...I'm just so sure that it's a female...I just gotta make sure though. And if she is,well, we might let some flames fly if you know what I mean!

Today is the day I've always hated. Yeah, it's Saturday and I guess that's a good day to relax, but definitely not today. Every two months or so, the team has to get like a physical from Medic. Now, I'd normally ditch it since I don't want some random guy touching my balls and stuff, but this is my first chance to find out Pyro's gender. If it's a guy, then screw this mess. I'm straight. But if it's a girl...well you already know.

"Ain't no need to be *hic* nervous laddy," Demoman told me in line, "We've all got da same kinda crotch *hic* here..heh heh..."

He was drunk again. No surprise.

"Ze Scout! Get in zere please! I must go quickly today!" Medic called. I still took my sweet time walking over there, though. But as soon as I walked in, my heart nearly killed itself. No, Medic wasn't naked, and nobody else was in there but him, at least that's what I thought. By the one-toilet bathroom there was a coatrack that I hadn't paid much attention to until now. Definitely now. Why? Well because on that rack there was two things hanging there.

A black gas mask, and a flame-retardant suit.

I'm not even going to tell you what happened between me and Medic in that room. Like I said, I'm a straight guy, but it sure felt like I was "going to the other side". Anyways, you'd be blushing like mad if I told you, and I don't wanna be responsible for it.

What I did see was the shadows of Pyro doing something in the bathroom. Nothin' gross, just probably washing up. I still couldn't tell whether it was a male or female though. The bathroom door never opened during the whole time I was in that room. I didn't see Pyro waiting in line either.

My heart's racing now. I'm pretty sure it's a girl now, so I'm going to start calling her one. If she wasn't a girl she'd be in line with the rest of us guys. It'd be too awkward for Medic to examine a girl Pyro, even for all that he's seen.

I've decided to do some research. I'm not a stalker or anything, this is just one of those things that I'm really curious about. I'm normally not like this, though. Hopefully my plan will work like magic. And if not, then I'm screwed. Very screwed.

But besides trying to solve this whole gender mystery, I've discovered something about myself. And gee, this has never happened to me before. That fire-lover has done something to me, without her knowing it, and I think I like it.

Like she loves fire, I think Iove her.

LOL! Scout's in love! I smiled just typing this out. Well, I've played a lot of TF2 as a part of my "research" and this is what I came up with. Chapter 2 will be up soon!

"I'm running circles around ya!"