Hahaaaaaaaa! How many pillows does it take to sing 'goodnight' in less than six 6000 words? 'I'm sleepy' because toasters don't even bake right! Yeah, this took me hours to upload because the internet expresses its love for me by being mean.
Don't handle your pain like Hinata does here. No, please. No, no. Just hug it out.
Enjoy!
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When she first came to him, he had only wanted to help.
She had experienced pain before—emotional, physical, mental—but none had been this damaging. Never had she dealt with one pain and then experienced another before she could come to terms with the previous.
Never had he been so desperate to console her in any way.
But he hadn't imagined this...
He never saw them like this—not out of despair.
"Please... P-please hurry."
He stared down at the girl in front of him; she was on all fours, offering herself in a way he's seen many times now. He cursed his body for reacting to her submissive form, knowing full well he was taking advantage of her emotional state. She came to him—requesting these acts—but he knew he should have said no. Sometimes he would succeed in voicing his reluctant opinion, but she always pleaded, cried, begged, that he help her forget.
Numb the pain.
Help.
Make her forget.
Help.
Help.
He was selfish, he was sure.
Maybe he was twisted.
He must have been if he continued to comply to an unstable girl who obviously needed emotional support and not physical release. What the two of them did—this hackneyed attempt at love-making—was not passion. There was no room for love, just anguish and regret. These moments had nothing to do with mutual emotion.
This had nothing to do with him.
She didn't need him.
This was all because of that pain—because she was broken inside and came to the wrong person for comfort. He knew this wasn't right, but he found it hard to deny her when she got this way.
"Please, Kiba!" she sobbed, bowing her head in shame, pushing against him. "I...need this."
He sighed, preparing mentally and emotionally, aligning himself to her sex. "Remember...to breathe."
Tan hands gripped smooth, pale hips, keeping her in place as he pushed into her slowly, methodically, in case she wanted to change her mind.
But that never happened.
She groaned, a gurgled sound, back arching, shooting up onto her arms, as he sunk deeper inside of her. Kiba grunted, gritting his teeth. His heart pounded faster as her walls clamped around him, trapping his member in a death grip of hot, wet flesh. It was a triumphant feat he remained calm, feeling that savage instinct to plunge in without remorse.
She jerked when her backside came flush against hard, toned muscle, her insides adjusting to him once again. She bit down on her lip, her body already shaking from exertion, waiting, waiting, as she was filled. The pulsing she felt from him always made her dizzy, always made her suspect they wouldn't fit together, but she would wait.
Her mind would wander...
And the movement began.
He withdrew and entered slowly—always fearful each stroke would be the moment when she realized this was a massive mistake—and allowed himself to build momentum as her breathing picked up, her pleas becoming incoherent.
"F-fast," she gasped, squeezing around him tighter. "Please, just...more."
Silently, he obeyed, his hips rocking into her from behind, her core violated, causing bed springs to cry in protest. Kiba grunted again, trying not to grip too tight—to move too fast—to just keep his mouth shut. He forced himself to look at the lean expanse of the girl's back, keeping in mind who he was with and what she was and wasn't in relation to him. He was mindful to not say anything stupid. With each thrust of his pelvis, he had to remind himself of what he couldn't say—of what he shouldn't say.
Long, indigo hair draped over delicate shoulders, swaying in jerky motions. White eyes saw nothing of the physical world, shut tight, but her mouth parted, quivering breaths and shaky words coming forth. Her shoulders flexed with the increased speed, the dip of her back inviting. He willed his eyes closed. He wanted to hold her, to press their bodies together completely. He wanted to tell her everything would be alright and engulf her in his presence until she couldn't feel anything, but he couldn't get carried away.
That wasn't what this was all about.
She cried out, arms buckling under the intensity of sensations coursing through her. She gripped the sheets, calling out her passions into the pillows.
"It's okay," the rugged male assured, his heart pounding wildly in his chest. "I'm here for you—Hinata."
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But he couldn't control her heart...
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Her clamped eyes began to fill with tears, the face that long since plagued her dreams becoming clearer. Blue eyes and a gleaming grin came into view, ripping her heart to pieces.
"I...I love you..."
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And he couldn't dominate her mind...
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The image soon changed, her heart shattering over and over at the pale eyes mirroring hers. She choked—a half-moan, half-sob.
Kiba's motions became erratic, shoving them over the edge of self-control. His grip tightened, his body doubling over as he reached his peak, her name hovering on his lips as he vaguely wondered who she'd call out this time. "Hinata!"
"N-Neji!"
The young man sat next to the slumbering heiress, replaying their lives over and over, trying to figure out how and why they had gotten here. His eyes were dull, his chest tight, but he knew she must have felt worse than he did.
Way worse...
He raised his hand, intending to move hair away from her face, but hesitated, noting her red, puffy eyes and her most recent tears. He frowned, cursing slightly, and lowered it. "Bastards," he said bitterly to himself, pulling himself out of bed to collect his clothing.
How could they do this to her?
o0o0o
After he dressed himself, he looked back at the young woman, and the pain in his chest increased. He drew the sheets over her shoulders, pulled his hood over his head, and exited the tiny hut.
"Done so soon, Kiba?" an uncharacteristically sarcastic voice greeted. He looked over to find Shino leaning against the hut.
Turning away, he bit his lip, a deep frown settling on his face. "She's asleep now...so..."
"This may not be the best way to help her," Shino said. "It'll be almost a month, but, still, she-"
"I know," Kiba said curtly, gritting his teeth. "I... I know, man, but I can't...talk...like you can. She wants to fill a void... Voids..."
Shino said nothing. His teammate's actions weren't solely to help Hinata, but he wouldn't comment on it. It wouldn't help the situation either way.
"Dammit," Kiba hissed.
If Neji was...
If he hadn't...
He shook his head, pushing down the lump in his throat.
"You should stay until she wakes up," Shino said.
Kiba looked to the stars. There was no moon tonight. "I don't think I could take it."
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Sometimes she broke.
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But he couldn't fix her like he could.
"I haven't been doing so well, nii-san," Hinata said softly, trying to smile. "You must be disappointed in me. You worked...so hard to make sure I would grow to be strong, and...and now...I-I don't know what to do with my life anymore."
This would have been the part where Neji responded—where he would tell her how ridiculous she was being or encourage her in his ever so subtle way—but, instead, she received no answer.
Hinata's lips quivered. She placed her hand on the cold stone, running it along the smooth surface, and stared at the picture of her cousin. "Nii-san..." she whispered. "Why...can't you talk to me anymore? I...I need you to say something..."
Not even the evening breeze would respond.
Tears rolled over, and Hinata shook. "N-Neji... Say...anything..."
Kiba watched from a distance, leaned against a tree, but looked away. His teeth bit harder and harder into his bottom lip as Hinata talked to Neji's grave. Her visits here were becoming frequent—her requests more torturous. She had appeared...so strong after the war.
Even after that happened, she was stronger than Kiba had anticipated.
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"He's avoiding me..."
"What?" Kiba said, waving his hand. "He's not the type."
"But...I haven't seen him since the war ended."
"Busy, Hinata, he's just busy." He turned. "Right?"
Shino adjusted his glasses. "It's possible. Of the remaining officials that survived, he's managed to impress them all."
"See?" Kiba said to the heiress. "Busy."
She wrung her hands. "But he's talked to both of you, hasn't he?"
Kiba looked away.
Shino said nothing.
"Just...give him another month."
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"What...the hell?"
The group halted, staring at the couple emerging from Ichiraku.
Choji gaped, his head tilting; Lee blinked, his stomach dropping; Shikamaru pursed his lips, feeling an odd sense of frustration.
"Maybe this isn't..." Tenten started, but the couple became closer, unsure who started it, and kissed. Kiba and Shino looked to Hinata, her face red and her eyes widening.
"What the hell?!" Ino roared at the couple. "Are you kidding me?!"
Naruto and Sakura jumped, noticing the group.
"Oh... Um..." Sakura blinked.
"Guys..." Naruto said, separating from his comrade. "What are...?"
All eyes involuntarily turned to the heiress, but Lee, who felt a strong obligation to his former teammate, was already leading her away from the scene.
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Even after that...Kiba thought she would be okay, but everyone overlooked one detail. She always had one person who could cheer her up.
She always had Neji.
But not anymore.
o0o0o
Kiba and Hinata began to walk home after she had managed to calm down. He looked at her from the corner of his eye, sighing inwardly. She was worse than when she was a child. At twelve, Hinata wasn't particularly sad, but she always wanted to prove herself—always had something to strive for. Now...he worried living wasn't her top priority.
"Kiba," Hinata said softly, wiping her tired eyes. "I'm...sorry for getting you involved in all of this."
"You kiddin'?" he said nonchalantly. "What kinda guy would I be if I let you go through this alone?"
"Not... Not just that..." She pulled at her fingers nervously. "I mean... I didn't mean... A-about the thing between you and me..."
Kiba looked away, rubbing the back of his head. "Let's talk about it later."
"But Kiba-" Hinata stopped walking, blushing furiously, nervous regret sneaking up on her. "This... This isn't right. I didn't mean for this-"
"Hey, hey, hey," he said as he walked in front of her. "This... It doesn't bother me. If it'll make you feel better for just a bit, then, ya know, it's okay."
"But... You... Didn't you want your first time to be with...s-someone special?"
"Whoa." He blinked, suddenly wondering why Akamaru didn't accompany him these days. "Geez, Hinata, that's a loaded question."
She swayed by the slightest degree, trying to understand what he meant.
Kiba ruffled her hair. "Just feel better, kid."
She shook her head, smiling—the first genuine smile Kiba has seen in ages.
"See? Do more of that."
"But... We should talk about-"
"Laaaaaater." He ruffled her head harder. "Later, Hinata, later. Just smile."
She laughed, pulling his hand off her head. "Okay, I'll try! I promise."
The two paused, keenly aware of the hand touching the other's. Hinata's eyelids fluttered self-consciously, looking away. Kiba's pulse picked up, looking to the side. She was vulnerable, so even if he wanted this to lead somewhere, now wasn't the best time. Even if he wanted to alleviate the pressure building up inside of him...it just couldn't be now.
Hinata's cheeks tinted, her eyes peeking up at him. She wet her lips, squeezing his hand. "Kiba, we-"
"Ah, Kiba!"
Hinata dropped her hands; Kiba felt the recoil. He turned to see Naruto running his way. The blond's eyes were gleaming with a purpose, but, once he saw Hinata, he slowed to a stop.
"Ah... You're busy," he said.
Kiba held back from showing his frustration, pocketing his hands. "What'd ya need?"
"Uh..." His eyes went everywhere but in their direction. "I can't remember." He laughed awkwardly, scratching the back of his head. "I'll find you later."
Hinata watched as Naruto walked past them—right past her—without a single glance being thrown her way. She swallowed hard, her mind reeling at the constant rejection. She tried not to think of her confession and how he hadn't acknowledged it. She tried not to take it personally...
"Naruto..." she called, her voice barely audible, but she saw him falter in steps. She saw him almost freeze in place, but he kept walking.
She stared.
All she could do was stare.
Kiba sat next to Hinata on the bed. She had become withdrawn after seeing Naruto, so he could only think to bring her to the hut. He suspected her family didn't know or didn't care to help her, and Shino was the only one who seemed to truly get through to her.
But he couldn't afford to take her to him.
So, he brought her here, and she fell asleep almost instantly.
He watched her a moment longer, scowling. He should have said something. He shouldn't have let Naruto leave without saying something to her, but it was Naruto's responsibility to fix his part in her despair. He didn't want to fix Naruto's problems. He didn't want to force Naruto to fix this problem if he had no desire to do so.
Kiba sat on the floor and reclined against the bed, sighing.
Maybe he was just as guilty in his teammate's state of mind. What was he doing to help—to truly help? There was nothing he could do to bring Neji back. If he could, he'd do it as fast as possible, but he couldn't do anything about it.
And Naruto...
He didn't want her to be with Naruto, not after the way he's been treating her. Not after all the time that's passed where he could have done something. Kiba was certain Hinata would fall for the Uzumaki all over again if he apologized or flashed her a smile, and that's not what he wanted. That's not what she needed.
So what could he do that...he could actually live with? She...invested so much of herself into other people, and that was something he couldn't fully understand.
"Mm..."
Kiba sat up, looking back at Hinata. She shifted, a delicate smile on her face, and mumbled in her sleep. Sighing pleasantly, a tear rolled from the corner of her eye.
There goes his heart.
Hinata's eyes fluttered open, alert to the pool of tears that spilled over. She lazily swept her eyes around the room. Staring at the ceiling, her chest rose and fell noticeably as she recalled her dream. Her mind seemed to have a hard time differentiating the two worlds, causing the girl to repeatedly question herself. Realizing she was now in reality, she brought a hand to her hair, her arm wrapping around her middle, and allowed more tears to form.
Kiba climbed on the bed; she looked at him, half hoping the boy from her dreams would be in his place.
She smiled weakly. "For a moment...he was with me."
He frowned at the bedspread. "You were dreaming, Hinata."
"I... Yes... Yes, I know that...but he was with me. Neji... He was sitting next to me, and-"
"Hinata..."
She pressed her lips together, blinking furiously, staring back at the ceiling. "He told me he... He said he wouldn't..." And then it came to her, the realization approaching like train lights—too blinding and painful to look at.
A moment went by in silence.
"That's right... Right... Right..."
Kiba eyed her warily, noticing how her hand was sliding to the side of her leg.
"Nii-san is dead..."
"Hinata..." He straightened his posture, bracing himself for something waiting to erupt.
"I was reckless, and nii-san died... Nii-san's dead... Nii-san's dead... Neji...is dead..." She pulled out a kunai, gripping it tightly in her hand.
The Inuzuka's heart stopped, his mind shutting down.
Hinata frowned thoughtfully. "How lonely...he must be."
Kiba's eyes widened, lunging just as she jammed the weapon at her throat. He was able to divert her hand but was unable to stop the tip from shallowly grazing her, leaving a red line on her skin. Hinata struggled beneath him, trying as she may to free herself. "Let me go, Kiba!" she shrieked. "Stop!"
"Are you crazy?! What the hell, Hinata?!"
"You don't understand!"
"I get that you're hurting, but don't be stupid! You still have people who need you! What about your family?! They need you! We need you!"
"I need Neji!" She looked at Kiba, her struggles weakening. "I need...! I...I need him... I need him back..." She closed her eyes, her mind refusing to not think about it all. "I need...Naruto to stop ignoring me... I need to understand...what I'm living for..."
He was unable to breathe. Listening to this, to her reasoning, it made functioning difficult. She had slowly been descending to a very dark place—to wanting to end her own life—and it had all happened right in front of his eyes. While he had condemned himself to just being a body she could use, she had needed more help than what he had offered.
She needed him... She needed more than just one friend...and he almost lost her.
Kiba swallowed hard and distracted himself with trying to pry Hinata's fingers from her kunai.
"Please stop..." Her fist tightened. "Kiba, just let me, please."
"Give it," he muttered.
"Kiba, please." She writhed weakly. "No one will know. Please? Please?"
"Hand it over."
"Why...? Please just let me-"
"LET YOU WHAT?!"
Hinata squeaked, her eyes snapping wide open.
"Let you kill yourself?! Who the hell do you think you're talking to, Hinata?!"
Stunned, she didn't say a word.
Kiba took the kunai from her slack fingers and flung it to the ground. "Is this how you really feel?" he huffed. "You want to die? Because Naruto won't talk to you? Because your cousin's dead? So Naruto ignores you—find someone else. Neji's gone—live for him. Live because he died, so you could live."
She stared blankly, trying to process all he had...bluntly said. Find someone other than Naruto? The boy who had been her reason for living since childhood? If she had lost that...how could she possibly live for Neji?
Neji, the boy considered to be a genius.
Neji, born to the Branch family, who had broke free from all limitations placed on him.
Neji...
Her cousin, Neji...who had shown her first hand how she was stronger than she could have ever thought. Her closest friend, Neji, who had devoted endless hours of his time on improving her skills and self-worth when everyone had given up.
Neji Hyuuga...the young man she could turn to and feel unconditional love without him having to say it...
How could she live a life that was shallowly based? How could her existence be anything other than an insult to her cousin who was so great? What was her life compared to his? She could never give anything that would be a worthy testament to who he truly was.
Neji was everything.
She was nothing.
She had...nothing.
"I'm...just not that strong Kiba." Her face reddened, humiliated. "If living for m-myself was worth a-anything to me...I wouldn't feel this way."
Kiba bit his tongue, trying not to glare so intensely. What was she not getting? Why wasn't he saying the one thing that might change things around? Because he was scared? Because he was selfish? Because...having feelings for her couldn't have come at a worse time in their lives?
He huffed harshly. His glare became dark, unable to be held back. "This is fucking pathetic, Hinata."
She flinched, but he had a hard time caring.
"God! I get it! You're hurt! You've lost them! But if that was the fucking end of things, then why the hell are you still here?! Naruto being a prick means you have to lose all confidence?! Neji dying means you have to die?! Give me a break! If you need to live for other people so your life has any value, then live for me until it's worth something!"
Hinata stiffened, her world flashing. "What...?"
"Me. Me. If you need a reason to live...then fall in love with me or something! When you get like this, just come to me. I'm not ignoring you; I haven't gone anywhere, so why aren't I good enough for now? I can't be Naruto or Neji, but do I have to be for you to stay?!" Kiba panted, his anger-high not yet subsiding, and waited for her to say something.
Hinata's mind was blank. Everything made sense up until...
"Fall in love with you?" she repeated, unsure of her words. "I don't...understand."
It was Kiba's turn to flinch, his mood plummeting. "Is it that out of the question?"
Her heart zapped. She thought he would re-word it, but did he really mean he wanted her to fall...for him?
And she had no way to answer him.
She became nervous when he released her.
He sat on the edge of the bed, turned away, and groaned to himself. "Just as I thought."
She sat up, huddling into herself, running a hand through her hair. This wasn't about feeling transfer. This wasn't all about romance. This was about...about purpose. This was about...being lost and not knowing what to do. This was... She couldn't...
Not with...
The two sat in silence, unable to look at each other. Hinata gathered her courage and crawled off the bed, exiting the hut.
Kiba stayed until Akamaru retrieved him later that night.
Two Weeks Later
"So, how are things going?"
Kiba blinked tiredly, staring at his insect loving teammate at his doorstep. "Good morning to you, too," the Inuzuka muttered, suppressing a yawn. "What's going on?"
"I haven't seen you around Hinata lately, so I came to inquire about it."
"Ah..." He scratched the side of his face. "Things are...great."
"Are they." Shino shifted momentarily, digressing a bit. "Hinata arrives from her mission with Naruto today."
"Hm... Yeah, I suppose she does."
"Are you not going to greet her?"
"You're more suited for this kinda thing, aren't you?"
Shino regarded him for a minute. "I see. Well then, I hope to see you show face later in the day."
Kiba mumbled as Shino walked away. Even though he always knew what his teammate was trying to imply, he wished he would come out and say it so there wouldn't be so much room for speculation.
o0o0o
Kiba and Akamaru walked the streets of Konoha, heading toward Ichiraku. Part of him was on edge with the possibility of running into his other teammate, but he was also tired of hiding. Well, he was pretty sure Hinata was the one who was hiding, so he didn't want to see her wish she hadn't seen him.
"The irony," he grumbled.
When Kiba approached the ramen shop, he heard loud talking and laughing going on. He pushed his way inside, earning the occupants' attention.
"Hey!" Choji, Shikamaru, and Lee greeted. Naruto was also there, but he was glaring defiantly at his bowl.
"What timing!" Choji said, patting the empty seat next to him.
"Yeah?" Kiba sat down, staring. "What's up?"
"You've probably already heard, but Hinata-"
"Gah!" Naruto screeched, glaring despite his flushed face. "You gotta tell everyone?!"
"Calm down," Shikamaru dismissed. "Everyone's bound to know eventually."
Naruto frowned. "You think she'd tell?"
"No," the laxed ninja grinned. "But we will."
The blond was about to retort, but Choji exploded with, "Hinata rejected him!"
Kiba leaned back, more than just surprised. "Rejected Naruto?"
Choji laughed, jiggling back and forth. "Priceless, isn't it?!"
"It is divine justice!" Lee proclaimed, watery eyes staring skyward as he jabbed the peace sign repeatedly in the air.
"Wait, wait, wait." Kiba held back a smile. "You tried to get with Hinata? What about Sakura?"
Naruto rolled his eyes. "That thing you all saw... We just got caught up in the moment."
"So she dumped you." Shikamaru smirked.
Naruto laughed, humorless. "It wasn't like that. And...it wouldn't have felt right, alright?"
"Waaaaaaait," Kiba pulled the conversation back, "what made you go after her?"
"Hinata? Well...ya know... I don't know."
"And she rejected you?"
"Keh."
"Why?"
Naruto propped his elbow on the table, his head dropping to his hand. "She's not interested in me anymore."
Akamaru was heard excitedly stamping around outside, causing the boys to turn around.
"Hello, Akamaru."
Grins were shot at Naruto, whose attention was immediately drawn to his ramen, shoulders rising and locking.
Hinata poked her head into the shop. "Hello." She smiled pleasantly at everyone. She was greeted by prolonged salutations and knowing smiles. She stared curiously at the one not looking at her. "Hello, Naruto."
"...Hey, Hinata."
"Are you here for ramen?" Lee asked, ready to make room for her.
"Actually," her gaze shifted, "I came for Kiba."
"Mm?" Kiba stood, following her as she exited the shop. "What's up?"
She turned to him, staring with those wide, innocent eyes; Kiba's defenses went up. "Hi."
"...Hey."
Silence settled—not uncomfortable but definitely tense.
"I've been visiting the prison."
Kiba furrowed a brow. "Why?"
She shrugged, elusive. "Finding my worth, I suppose."
"At...the prison?"
She smoothed hair behind her ear. "Yes, well, after talking with the Hokage, I'm being assigned to a few missions with Lee and Tenten, along with one...prolonged assignment."
"At the prison?"
She paused, smiling sheepishly. "I think I'm becoming reckless."
Kiba cracked a smile. "So...you're leaving us?"
"No, of course not. My time will be...equally divided."
"Well," he rubbed the top of her head, "I'm glad you're...up for it."
She giggled, playfully swatting his hand away. Her smile waned, finding her nerve. "About...what you said..."
Kiba looked away, his nose scrunching. "I rather not."
"I... I honestly don't think I could-"
He laughed, running a hand through his hair. "Uh-huh. I know that much."
She bit the inside of her lip. "But...I am very grateful that you've always been there for me. If... If I had known you-"
"Hinata-"
"But you wouldn't have had to-"
"Kid!" His hand came down on her head, his face leveling with hers. He smiled, more amused than he thought was possible. "Forget it."
"Forget?"
"Emotions flared, things were said, we move on."
"Are...you sure? If... If this is all in the name of friendship, then-."
"I'm not interested in losing this friendship, okay?" He shrugged, keeping his light mood. "Just forget it."
Hinata frowned. She didn't understand why she was being denied the chance to clear this up. Yes, Kiba said things in the spur of the moment, but they hadn't really seen each other in two weeks. Wasn't that proof enough this wasn't something to brush off lightly? Even if it was an accident, she should be able to confront these supposed feelings of his...
Was he doing this for her? Was he trying to cause less burdens for her by acting like...none of it happened? He had been looking out for her, and she didn't even consider he might have felt...
He didn't have to do so much for her sake.
She took the hand on her head into her own, looking down at them, gripping carefully. "I am...so sorry, Kiba."
His smile faltered, his chest allowing one last burst of emotion. "Eh," he shrugged, recovering. "Shit happens, right?"
Hinata laughed, wiping her eyes before looking up at him again. She hugged him tightly, nearly squeezing the air out of him.
"Okay, okay!" he laughed, returning the gesture. "So...are we gonna talk more about why you're going to the prison," his volume rose, "or are we gonna talk about what happened with Naruto?"
Hinata blushed, looking away.
"Shut up, Kiba!" Naruto roared from inside the shop.
Thank you for reading!