Author's Note: I need something fun to work on as I slog through trying to finish chapter 10 of Afghanistan, and I decided to try this format. This is NOT in the timeline I've created with Afghanistan, and is strictly Marvel movie-verse based. Such as, there are spoilers for Iron Man 1, 2, and 3, both Captain America, the Thor films and Avengers. Flames will be cheerfully ignored. Rated PG-13 for the occasional bad language and implied meanings.
Subject: Press conference
From: Nick Fury
Date: May 4, 2008, 4:45 a.m.
To: Phil Coulson
Phil, please remind Stark to stick to his briefing notes. This last week has been enough of a cluster already without the man's monumental ego stepping into play.
-Nick Fury
Director, Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division
Subject: Re: Press conference
From: Phil Coulson
Date: May 4, 2008, 4:46 a.m.
To: Nick Fury
Yes, Nick. Of course, Nick. Whatever you say, Nick.
-Agent Philip "One Good Eye" Coulson
The REAL director of SHIELD
Subject: Re:Re:Press conference
From: Nick Fury
Date: May 4, 2008, 4:47 a.m.
To: Phil Coulson
Phil,
What the HELL?
-Nick Fury
Director (YES, DIRECTOR) Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division
Subject: Re:Re:Re: Press conference
From: Phil Coulson
Date: May 4, 2008, 4:48 a.m.
To: Nick Fury
Director, my apologies. Password hacked. Three guesses as to who - and the first two don't count. Yes, Stark will be given his notes, and yes, he will follow them. I've constructed a plausible cover story, and hopefully a full night's sleep will improve his mood.
This isn't my first rodeo. Sir.
Sincerely,
Agent Philip Coulson
Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division
Subject: Re:Re:Re:Re:Press conference
From: Nick Fury
Date: May 4, 2008, 4:50 a.m.
To: Phil Coulson
Thank you, Phil. I'll consider which shit duty those two get while Stark sleeps.
And don't call me 'sir.'
-Nick
Subject: Sleeping
From: Phil Coulson
Date: May 4, 2008, 4:51 a.m.
To: Nick Fury
Time of receipt: 1:50 a.m. PST.
Time of press conference: 8 a.m. PST.
-Phil
Subject: Press conference and rodeos
From: Clint Barton
Date: May 4, 2008, 4:51 a.m.
To: Nick Fury
CC: Phil Coulson
"Not my first rodeo," he says.
"Stark will follow his notes," he says.
"I. Am. Iron Man." STARK says.
Nat and I were quite amused, Phil.
- Hawkeye The Mad Archer
Agent of the Alphabet Soup Division
Subject: Re:Press conference and rodeos
From: Phil Coulson
Date: May 4, 2008, 4:51 a.m.
To: Clint Barton
Barton, shut up. I've got bigger headaches than you.
And change your signature back to something professional. Or else I might get involved in your shit duty for hacking me.
Sincerely,
YOUR DAMNED HANDLER