Vulnerable Defenses

3 Months Earlier - DC

"Have you lived here long?" Titan asked.

"A while," Olivia responded as she handed him the glass of water he requested. He was deliberately prolonging his stay. Either he didn't notice or didn't care that she was an unenthusiastic host. Not only was she physically tired from the Costa Rican flight but she was mentally and emotionally drained. She wanted to be in her own space, alone.

He had insisted on bringing her luggage up and as he continued to stand around she felt obligated to give him something useful to do. She asked him to hang Fitz' painting in her bedroom above her bed but even after the task was over he made no move to exit. She could read him well; he had the wrong idea about her and about them.

They hadn't spoken about that night. He hinted that he wanted to discuss it but she couldn't find the words and the memory of it plagued her with so much guilt that she preferred to forget it happened. Clearly he didn't want to forget.

"What about your safety? I could arrange a security….."

"No, I'm fine. I've never needed security and I don't intend on having it now. I can take care of myself."

"I'm just saying considering all that has happened; it could be something to think about," he paused before carefully adding, "I could stay. It's your first night back. It might be a bit uncomfortable getting adjusted."

She was shaking her head, "Titan…"

He cut her off, "I can sleep on the couch Olivia."

She was still shaking her head as she turned and walked out of the bedroom forcing him to follow her back to a common area.

When he spoke again, his voice had deepened in sincerity, "Listen to me Olivia. I know what this is. I'm not stupid. I know when you look at me you see him. I know that you wanted it to be him that night."

The realization that he knew he was being used and had enjoyed it was not something she was prepared for. And furthermore, he was in expectation of continuing the arrangement. She almost shivered at the perversity of it.

"You should go."

He continued staring at her, hoping that she would change her mind but she was resolved.

"Alright," he finally said and walked to the door. Before he let himself out, he turned and in parting admonished her, "You know that when or if he returns, he'll never be able to give you the life you want Olivia. He's not built for that. If he comes here, it'll be for a mission, an assignment, not for you. He'll finish the job and then he'll be gone again. Don't fool yourself into thinking he can quit to be with you; he can't. He does the job or he dies. You need to let him go and move on."

XXX

Present Day

After just a few sips from his glass of water, Edison suddenly became too ill to continue lunch and had to go home. While she felt a small amount of sympathy over his state of health, it wasn't significant enough to move her to attend to him and ensure his well-being.

Instead, she stayed at the restaurant, continuing to sit alone at the secluded table, taking advantage of the private time to replay her meeting with Fitz; torturing her mind with possibilities and outcomes over what she should and should not have said or done.

Edison hadn't been as oblivious as she had hoped. He had noticed a change in her demeanor and when they were alone in the car, he inquired, "Have you met him before?"

Elusive as ever, she casually responded, "I've heard of him and of course I saw the press conference."

Edison let the subject rest and began speaking of activities in the US Senate. She remained partially interested, contributing minor comments when required, but content in allowing him to ramble on, since her mind was occupied with one man only.

Now as she casually glanced around the restaurant, her mouth literally dropped open in surprise at the sight of Fitz approaching her.

Once again she was struck by his sudden appearance and could not tear her eyes away from him. Watching him walk with such confidence and power excited her. His entire focus was her and it created an electrifying energy within; she could barely sit still. For the second time in the space of an hour, she was being caught off guard, with no time to prepare her thoughts and emotions.

It was at once irritating, captivating and arousing.

Without invitation he took the seat across from her. Before Olivia could say anything, a young waitress appeared and addressed him.

"Sir?...Should I take it?"

Fitz handed her Edison's tainted glass of water. "Yes, thank you Kristina."

"No problem Sir. Let me know if there is anything further."

"I should've known it was you," Olivia remarked after the waitress left.

"There was a 50/50 chance that you would leave with him. But you didn't."

Olivia shifted in her chair. It was a clear sign of her feelings, or lack thereof, that she didn't leave with Edison and they both knew it. She hadn't even seen him home; made sure he was taken care of. She let him leave alone and gave no further thought to him.

"What are you doing here Fitz? Why are you following me?" Her sharp tone was abrupt and unfriendly. It was her defense mechanism. She was completely lost and the possibility of becoming consumed by him again was real and virtually inescapable.

His eyebrows lifted momentarily, silently calling out her bluster as unnecessary.

"So how do you want to do this?" he asked matter-of-factly.

"Do what…what are you talking about?" She maintained the pretense of aloofness while inside she felt the exact opposite. She felt anxious, nervous about what he would say and how she would respond. His presence flustered her. And it bothered her immensely that he seemed so cool and detached from every emotion she was feeling.

"Us…Do you want to pretend that we don't know each other? That we were never anything to each other?" He matched her unfriendly tone. Their previous encounter disturbed him - watching her walk away with Edison and pretend that he was nothing; that they were nothing.

She looked away. She had no answer.

Everything within her was screaming "NO!" She wanted him; a reboot, a restart of what they had. But it was not the rational part of her mind speaking; it was her heart that even after all this time, remained attached to him. She did not know if she would ever be able to let him go.

He patiently waited. He told himself that if she demanded he let her go, he had to do it. He had to follow her lead and pretend that there was never any love between them. It would devastate him; leave him heartbroken and crushed but despite the pain, he had to honor her wishes.

He acknowledged that it had not been fair to leave her for so long without a word from him and if he could have done anything to reach out to her or come to her sooner, he would have. But it was not within his power. For months, she had placed her life on hold for him and if she was done and truly wanted to move on, he, at least, owed her that.

When she looked back at him, her eyes had softened. "Why are you here in DC Fitz?"

"For you. I came here for you" he said automatically because it was the truth. "I made a promise to you. I told you I would always come for you. I'm keeping my promise."

She had to take deep breaths in hopes to calm herself. This is what he always did to her; he made her feel too much; too deep; too intense and it frightened her just as much now as it did then.

She shook her head to clear her thoughts. "This is reality now Fitz. We're no longer living in a fantasy in a remote part of the world."

Several moments of embraced silence followed; allowing them to see each other, an uninterrupted stare to appreciate that after months of separation, they were finally in each other's presence, with no barriers or intruders.

"Do you wish I never returned?"

Her eyes widened at his question. That was the last thing she wished for. "I always wanted you to be safe Fitz."

It wasn't an answer and he pressed it further. "But you want me to let you go." In his mind it was a valid presumption based on her reaction to him and continued persistence of avoidance. But he needed to hear her say it out loud.

Her lips began to quiver as emotions threaten to spill over and he watched her bite her bottom lip as if she needed to physically prevent herself from responding.

With a sigh of resignation, he knew he would get nothing more from her. Foolishly he had believed that reappearing in her life would resolve everything. They could pick up where they left off and finally build some type of relationship together. But things had become complicated. Their separation had intensified her doubts about them.

"You're looking for what we had in the wrong place, Olivia," he said boldly. "Just because you're with him doesn't make it real."

He rose from the table and left just as impressively as he had arrived.

XXX

"I am telling you, I was set up!" Nancy insisted.

"Nancy…" Olivia began trying to calm the former NSA Director down before she drifted into delusion.

"No listen to me!" she screamed in near hysteria. "He's dead. They said it was suicide but it was staged, I know it. We were engaged; he would never have killed himself. And then this…this new guy they have as the Director, Fitzgerald Grant. My God! He just appeared out of nowhere. Where did he come from? He just slid into the job and the confirmation almost happened over night. I'm telling you that this…all of it was arranged."

The entire room at OPA was silent. Just the mention of Fitz' name reminded them all that anything was possible.

"So do we believe her?" Quinn asked after Olivia was able to get Nancy to leave upon promise that her team would investigate further.

"A better question would be 'why do we care'," Abby stated.

Olivia caught Harrison's glare and responded, "Let's look into it."

She spent the rest of the evening closed up on in her office, pacing back and forth, in circles; exhausting herself until she finally dropped in her chair. It was possible. She knew it. It could have all been a set up to open up the NSA Director position for Fitz. But for what? And why? If it were true, then it would mean that Titan was right, Fitz was here on assignment to carry out some type of mission. Would she be putting her team in danger by trying to get too close to the truth?

"It's late…I can make sure you get home safely," Huck said interrupting her thoughts. She hadn't even heard him come in.

"How did you get out?" Olivia asked him. He knew exactly what she meant. Huck did not say much but he was more perceptive than the rest on her team. He knew what and who was on her mind.

"I didn't get out…they let me out. I was no use to them anymore and they let me go but not before they made sure I would never talk about it to anyone. And even if I tried, no one would believe me."

"You said you had a family…why didn't you just walk away, for them?"

"You can't just walk away. They'll kill you first."

Olivia nodded in grave understanding.

Huck cleared his throat and it caught her attention again; he had more to say.

"Tell me," she prompted.

"This kind of high-level assignment…they don't just give that to anyone. It's too important; too powerful. He's one step away from the President of the United States. He's a General now. In order for him to get it….he would have had to go through a lot. The conditioning would've been….extreme. They would've wanted to make sure they could trust him to do what they wanted."

She closed her eyes, not trying to imagine what Fitz would have gone through.

He's moved heaven and earth for us.

I came here for you.

Had he done all of this for her? What did his assignment mean for them and the possibility of their relationship?

She was exhausted again; tired of thinking and over thinking. One question always led to a multitude of others; with no answers.

"Let's go home, Huck."

XXX

Olivia checked herself in the full length mirror again; pleased with her appearance. The dress she had picked for the White House State Dinner was a perfect accent to her shapeliness and beauty.

She tried not to think of whether Fitz would be there but if she were honest with herself she had to admit that the idea of him looking upon her, praising and devouring her with his eyes was sensually arousing. No man looked at her the way he did. There was a hunger in his eyes when he stared at her that could effectually leave her breathless.

Her doorbell rang; it was Edison. She shook off thoughts of Fitz. If this was going to work with Edison; she had to focus on him, alone.

"Wow you look amazing. Every man will be jealous of me tonight," Edison preened.

She should've blushed under the compliment but it rang hollow, somehow she knew it was more about his ego than her identity.

"Thank you Edison," she smiled widely.

Within minutes they were procession line to greet the President and First Lady.

There was an excitement in the room, a buzz of conversation swirling around her in several languages and she enjoyed the energy. She had been a part of political circles in various capacities for many years but it never got old. Surrounded by diplomats, statesmen, politicians, decision-makers and power-brokers still thrilled her.

This was the first White House Dinner she attended with Edison and she felt the cautious and curious stares. She knew it was less about who she was as a person and more about who she could potentially represent. It was an open secret. Everyone knew Edison had a hunger for the Presidency and by default the woman on his arm could be the future First Lady.

"Ms. Pope, it is a pleasure to meet you," President Gavin Neilson said as he shook her hand, after she was introduced by Edison.

"The pleasure is all mine," Olivia responded easily. She had met the President two times previously but her identity had likely been lost in a sea of other individuals demanding his attention. She took no offense that he did not recall who she was.

"Madam First Lady," Olivia turned her attention to address his wife. Anna Neilson was about two feet shorter than her husband but she had the most intense, expressive eyes that had the capacity to make her seem an imposing ten feet tall. Anna's gaze was now trained on her and as an expert read of body language, Olivia knew the woman was wary of her and a bit intrigued.

"Ms. Pope, we will have lunch at the White House in the next few weeks. My office will contact you with the date and time."

She didn't require an answer. Her attention was now on the next guest. Olivia had been dismissed.

XXX

She didn't see him but she felt him. He was within her vicinity, somewhere behind her and her body immediately reacted to the connection.

She struggled to remain focused on the conversation she was involved in; not to turn around; not to give him any of her attention. She had already overheard more than a few people speaking of him as the topic of conversation. Easily, DC had become fascinated by Fitzgerald Grant. He may have been a public servant but he was still shrouded in mystery, which invited speculations that created more interest in him.

When the next song began to play and Edison asked her to dance, she was instantly relieved. Dancing would be a great distraction.

"Are you having a good time?" Edison asked as he glided her across the floor.

"I am," she answered sincerely.

"This could be us, Olivia. We could be running this."

"Edison," she shook her head; she didn't want to talk about his dreams and aspirations and how she would be tagging along for the ride.

"I'm serious Olivia, very serious."

She gave it no further thought and continued enjoying the moment until she realized dance partners were shifting. Edison had strategically guided her to the First Lady and her dance partner, Fitz Grant and without her permission requested the change.

Someone said something and another person said something else; she heard none of it. She nodded her head in acceptance and tried to maintain congeniality, while inside her nerves increased a hundred fold. Edison and the First Lady had resumed dancing and moved away, while Fitz held his hand out to her.

"Shall we?" he asked and she nearly shivered from his tone.

She stepped into his arms and he pulled her close; perhaps too close for decency, but she didn't object. She willingly melted into him because it was the first time in a long time that something felt…right. Everything up to now had been forced, she had been compelled to do things she didn't really want, to find something to substitute for what she needed.

The nearness created a sensory overload. The masculine smell of him was a hypnotic summoning; blocking out all other thoughts except him. Being embraced sent fire into her veins, igniting memories of illicit happiness. And when she looked up at him, she was met by that piercing blue gaze; the one where he could make her feel like they were the only two people left in the entire world. He had done that to her on a dance floor before and she had lasciviously kissed him in front of everyone. She could still remember the taste of him.

"You look beautiful. I haven't been able to keep my eyes away from you all night."

This time she blushed from the praise, which surprised him.

"I can't be the first man to compliment you tonight."

"No but you're the first one who doesn't have another motive."

"Who says I don't have another motive?"

Her eyebrows rose, a little taken aback by his statement.

"I did tell you I came here for you."

When she came into his arms without hesitation, without rejecting the intimacy of close contact, he knew it could never be over. The warmth of her body seemed radiate within him, giving him renewed conviction that she would eventually come to him; that he hadn't been a fool to wait for her.

He felt high, like an addict finally being blessed with a dose of the drug he craved more than life itself. He stared at her lips, dying for a taste; remembering the first time they had kissed on a dance floor like this one – their desire on display for all to see. Once upon a time, they had been bold, unashamed and unregretful.

She caught him staring and cleared her throat. "You don't have a date?"

He smiled. He wasn't embarrassed at being caught. His physical reaction was already a clear indicator of how much he wanted her. "No I don't. No one for you to poison and send home."

She knew he was trying to lighten the mood and appreciated the gesture. She smiled genuinely.

The smile affected him, deeply. It was the first time in a long time he had seen her smile. He had doubted he would ever see it again. In response he pulled her even closer, if that was possible.

"There are a lot of people talking about you tonight."

"I could say the same. I hear your destined to be the First Lady….Is that what you want?"

"No", she said quickly because she wanted him to know the truth.

A cocky smile formed and she wanted to chastise him but was so captivated that she couldn't help but smile again in return.

Out of the corner of her eye, she thought she saw a few people staring at them and she became self-conscious of the impropriety.

"We shouldn't be this close. It's not decent."

"We've never been decent."

"People are watching. Stop looking at me that way. Look away."

But he wouldn't and her skin flamed from the attention. Her own internal battle was tormenting. She wanted nothing more but to engage with him, tease him, spar with him until the verbal sexual intercourse became too much to bear and had to be acted upon. But she could not.

"This is inappropriate." She said through a clenched smile as she turned to give onlookers her attention in a pretense of casual indifference.

"Then let's be inappropriate," he suggested dangerously.

She gasped at the comment and looked back at him. Thankfully at that moment the music ended and reluctantly, he released her.

She hadn't realized how much of his support had kept her grounded and she nearly toppled from the loss of contact. She had to escape him to catch her breath. It was ridiculous how quickly he could make all her defenses crumble and leave her vulnerable!

"Good night Fitz," she said before taking flight.

XXX

"What's wrong Olivia?" Fitz asked as he came upon her in the Rose Garden. He had just left a meeting with the President in the Oval Office and took an alternate exit to avoid contact with anyone else. All night one person after another had been trying to get his attention and he was exhausted from the various conversations. Even the sexual propositions he received from multiple women – married and single – had become tiresome to navigate without causing offense.

When he saw her pacing, he had it in mind to leave her alone and just walk away.

He knew their dance had shaken her up but he didn't regret it. It was necessary for her to realize the truth of who they were. Still, he knew the folly of pushing too much and pressing too far. It was best to leave her to reconcile her own emotions.

He should have just walked away.

But he didn't.

She stopped pacing and at the sight of him nearly growled in frustration before rolling her eyes and restarting her stride.

She just needed a few moments of fresh air and solitude. So when Edison informed her that he needed to have a meeting with another Senator before they left, she took advantage of the reprieve and sought sanctuary in the Rose Garden.

He stepped closer. "What's wrong?"

After several more paces and realizing that he wouldn't go away, she finally stopped and glared at him. She was annoyed, frustrated, bordering towards anger; and she exploded on him.

"YOU! You are my problem!"

He hadn't expected that. Wasn't she smiling in his arms, not even an hour ago? What happened? What changed? His eyes widened in surprise at being the target of her anger.

"I am fooling myself into thinking I can move on from you. It's fucking ridiculous because you're everywhere! I cannot get away from you. You're constantly in my head; taking over all of my thoughts. My heart can't let you go and I'm tired of feeling this way!"

"Olivia…." He started as he took another step closer to her. But she backed away.

"No…I am tired of feeling this way!" she repeated more forcefully. "For months you have been controlling all of my thoughts and feelings. And it hasn't stopped. It's getting worse. It's like you own me. I can't stop wanting to be with you! I can't breathe! I can't live! You own every damn part of me and I'm fucking miserable. I can't keep doing this….I need to be done but I can't….I can't…"

His frustration rose to match hers. He could take the blame for a lot of things but not for this. Their present situation was not his fault. It was hers. She chose to leave them in this miserable state of limbo – not able to let go and move on but still not together.

He erupted.

"You own ME!...You control ME!... I'm constantly waiting and watching for you! From the moment I met you, every decision I've made has been about you. Every choice; every action has been about being with YOU! Wanting YOU! Needing YOU! Over and over again I have compromised myself for YOU! I have broken every rule, risked everything because of YOU!"

He advanced upon her, invading her personal space. This time she didn't back away, she was grounded, unable to move, shaken by the forcefulness of his words.

"Do you think I enjoy watching you with another man?! Watching him touch you? Knowing he wants you to be his wife?! Knowing that he gets to…." He abruptly stopped and took a deep breath.

Other emotions manifested; ones she had never seen before – vulnerability, fear and pain. His voice cracked as he allowed her to see the depth of his hurt. "I love you. I am in love with you. If I could turn these fucking feelings off, let you go and move on, I would…but I can't. I belong to you, Olivia. This is fucked up for both of us!"

He turned and walked away.

His passion left her speechless. She felt winded; more desperate than ever – to be with him. She would have called for him, had she found a voice to speak.

XXX

The rage had taken over again.

He was no longer thinking rationally; he allowed himself to lose control and it wasn't until he felt several hands restraining him that the fog lifted and he realized the damage he had done. The consequence of his actions devastated him, he looked down at his cousin bruised and bloodied on the boxing ring floor and became disgusted with himself.

The day prior, his cousin called and invited, or more like challenged him, to a sparring match, like they did back in the military. Initially, Fitz declined.

But his cousin wouldn't give up. And then he baited him.

"Have you spoken to Olivia?" Titan asked.

"No."

"Well we became very…..close in Costa Rica. I feel like I know her pretty well, quite well actually and she'll only talk to you when she's ready."

The implication was clear. He had suspected that something happened between Titan and Olivia but hearing his cousin admit to doing the same thing he had done to him before; the very thing that caused a permanent rift in their relationship made Fitz forget all his reserve. He accepted the invitation.

The next day when he showed up at the gym, his cousin was waiting for him; eager to push his buttons again.

Patting his back in greeting, he sneered, "You know little cousin, I was happy to stand in for you with Olivia. Anytime you need me to do it again, I'm here. I'm sure she'd appreciate it too."

Fitz said nothing in response but he could feel the anger building. He tried to stifle it; rein it in but his imagination tormented him with images of Titan and Olivia together.

And by the time they entered the ring, Fitz let go and gave in to the power of his emotions.

Overcome with regret and shame at his loss of self-control, he now sat with his cousin in the private military hospital while he got patched up by a doctor.

"Care to tell me what happened gentlemen?" Dr. Phillips asked with one curious brow raised as he looked from Titan's damaged face to Fitz' wrapped hand.

Fitz said nothing. Titan spoke up through a busted lip answering all the questions before they could be asked, "Some guys attacked us. Ran off before the police came. Didn't get a good look."

Dr. Phillips sighed, not at all believing the statement but deciding to let it go. "Well Mr. Grant, you have no broken bones, just bruised ribs. Put cold compresses on your eyes…."

Titan interrupted. "It's okay Dr. I know the drill."

"Well then we'll just get you a prescription for some pain meds."

When the doctor left the room, Titan leaned back in the bed, stared at the ceiling and admitted, "I encouraged her to get over you and leave you alone. You can't be with her Fitz. You can't love her. In the end all you would ever do is hurt her and haven't you done enough of that?"

After several moments of silence, Fitz replied solemnly, "We've had this conversation before."

"We did and you didn't listen to me and look what happened to her."

Titan and Fitz relationship had been competitive from childhood but it was still friendly and good-natured. After joining the military, Fitz began a romantic relationship with a young officer, Alicia. He thought he loved her and she felt the same until he realized that the competition with Titan had interfered and became a rivalry for her affections. Alicia had become emotionally compromised and the distraction led to carelessness in a military training exercise. Her injuries resulted in an untimely death.

Fitz blamed himself; Titan blamed him too and the breach of their relationship grew wider and became insurmountable.

As much as he cared for Alicia, it was nothing compared to the depth of his feelings for Olivia. He hadn't known love before Olivia; hadn't understood its power to ruin you.

But he had known betrayal. And to experience it twice from Titan was too much for one lifetime.

"We won't have this conversation again," Fitz predicted ominously.

Titan gave him a sharp look. He would never admit it but Fitz scared him. Family ties only ran so deep and there was only so much that could be forgiven.

He shouldn't have goaded Fitz. He assumed that out of respect, he would just back down and walk away from the taunting. He underestimated how deeply Fitz felt for Olivia. And he had the feeling that this mistake would cost him dearly.

XXX

"I thought we agreed that you would stop doing this?" Sabrina scolded as she sat next to Fitz on the steps of the Lincoln Monument. "Shit! It's cold out here," she shivered before handing him a cup.

"What's this?" Fitz asked as he accepted the cup from her.

"Just drink it…It'll keep you warm."

"I don't mind the cold," he took a sip of the black tea. It was good.

She knew he didn't mind the cold but that wasn't the point. His insomnia was getting out of control. After the "conditioning" he experienced, he had trouble adjusting to living as a human being again – eating and sleeping no longer came naturally to him. He wasn't alive; he just existed. Over time he got better and Sabrina thought the worse was behind them until he saw her again.

In the past two weeks Sabrina could see him visibly retreating back to a machine-like state and she knew it was the only way he could deal with the heightened emotions Olivia created.

They sat in silence watching the reflecting pool for several minutes until Sabrina spoke again. "You need to stop doing this Fitz."

"I'm fine."

"No you're not. You're slipping past security detail in the dead of night to walk the city streets. It's reckless. You're not taking the necessary precautions to protect yourself. If anyone recognized you….how easy would it be for anyone to…" she stopped, uncomfortable with the thought that she was nagging him. She sighed before continuing, "You need to sleep."

This was the fourth time she found him here. She had no doubt, though, that there were more incidents but she had trouble tracking him and had no idea where he roamed to.

Fitz said nothing. He did need sleep. Through his training, he knew how to function on reduced sleep but that was different. Usually the sacrifice had a purpose. It was for an assignment; which allowed his mind to remain active on tasks and mission protocols. But now his sleeplessness was because his mind was torturing him with thoughts of her. He could find no peace.

It had been two weeks since they saw each other at the White House State Dinner. And as he had resolved, he did not call or try to see her again.

"How's your hand?" she asked.

Fitz looked down at his wrapped up hand and shrugged. He didn't mind the pain; he had become indifferent to it. "You should see the other asshole," Fitz said smirking.

"I have….So you both done comparing who's dick is the biggest?" Sabrina asked.

Fitz gave her a side glance and remained silent.

"Why did you send Titan?" Fitz asked her.

Sabrina sighed. It had been a mistake but she had made the best decision she could at the time with the options she had. It was either leave Olivia in the dark for who knows how long or send someone who had access to the limited details that could be shared. Olivia needed something to hope for and Sabrina believed Titan could give that to her.

"I thought it was for the best. He was the only one I could send with your message to her. If you remember, I was being held too."

Fitz sighed and rubbed his hand over his face.

"You know whatever happened between them meant nothing. She was vulnerable and the son of a bitch took advantage," Sabrina offered.

Fitz knew that. He had been telling himself that over and over but he still couldn't let it go.

She continued, "Besides he'll be gone soon."

"But how will she feel about it?"

"You can't worry about that. You have a job to do. Olivia's a big girl; she'll get over it."

Fitz didn't agree. In fact, he was pretty certain that Olivia would hate him for it.

XXX

"I'm changing my locks tomorrow," Olivia said irritably as she walked into her apartment to find Edison sitting in her living room. She was tired of people breaking in. Especially when it was a person she had no interest in seeing.

Edison stood from the couch to greet her.

"You've been ignoring me."

"I've been busy Edison." It was a partial truth. She had been busy but she had also been deliberately ignoring him as well.

"You're busy?!" he said incredulously. "I'm a fucking Senator, Olivia!...I'm busy but I make time for us!"

She took off her jacket and perused her incoming mail. She didn't appreciate his tone and wanted him to leave. She hastened to get the conversation over with. "What is it you want Edison?"

"Stop talking to me like I'm one of your employees!"

The outburst sparked her temper. She put down the mail and censured, "Ok you need to calm down and check your tone."

He took a deep breath and paused before continuing in a more subdued tone. "We haven't talked or been on a date in weeks. What is going on with you?"

"Nothing is going on with me Edison, I've just been…."

"Busy," he finished. "You said that already…I mean isn't this strange to you? We're supposed to be a couple but we don't talk, we don't go out. We haven't even had sex in weeks."

A light bulb went off. "So that's what this is all about. You're mad because we haven't had sex. Is that what you came here for?"

"Olivia…."

"Go ahead and say it. You came here because you needed to be fucked!"

"You're trying to bait me into saying something stupid. All I'm trying to do is spend time with you and you're pushing me away. Why? What is it? Is there someone else?"

"Don't be dramatic."

"You didn't answer my question."

"Because it didn't deserve an answer."

"So that's it…that's all you have to say to me."

She folded her arms and stared back at him; stubbornly refusing to give him anything else. At the moment, she simply could not find space in her mind and heart to care about his feelings.

He picked up his coat from the couch and started for the door. He suddenly stopped and addressed her again, "When you've had a chance to think about how you've been treating me, realize how wrong you are and show some damn gratitude for the good thing we have, I'll expect an apology."

XXX

Olivia never expected to see her sister this way. It was disconcerting to witness the confident, self-assured woman she knew her to be, now appearing vulnerable and alone, almost innocent and childlike. It was a revelation that underneath the hardened exterior, she was just a frightened little girl trying to recover from a horrible upbringing.

She watched her sleep in the bed and could not resist the urge to move that one curly strand away from her beautiful face and kiss her forehead. She was overwhelmed with the feeling to care for and protect her.

"She's still sleeping," Olivia announced after she left Sabrina sleeping in a guest bedroom and found Fitz in his kitchen. He poured a glass of water and set it on the counter for her.

She thanked him and took a sip. Taking the opportunity to look around his large and spacious home, she was impressed by the wall to wall windows and high ceilings. She knew how much Fitz loved his window views.

"She'll be sleeping for a long time. The medication sedates her for hours."

"Has this happened before?" Olivia asked. When Fitz called her, he explained that Sabrina had a severe panic attack and he brought her to his home to look after. He didn't want her to be alone in her apartment. Olivia dropped everything and immediately came to see her sister.

"Not for a long time."

"And you always take care of her?"

He shifted so slightly that she almost missed it. "I never want her to feel like she's alone."

"What do you think triggered it this time?"

He sighed and moved away to the other side of the island. Crossing his arms over his chest, he assumed the defensive posture that Olivia knew was his way of protecting himself – from her. His entire demeanor was reserved, closed off as if he were retreating from her into a shell where her continuous rejection could no longer affect him.

He spoke almost mechanically, as if he were updating her on the daily news.

"Your mother's ashes were released by the government and delivered to Sabrina. I thought she would be able to handle it. If I had known…."

"There was no way for you to know. I'm glad you were there to take care of her."

Silently they stared at one another. He remained expressionless despite the many words unsaid. Incomplete conversations weighed heavy in the air that neither had the courage to initiate. Their previous heated discussion was lying right beneath the surface; still unresolved.

"Are you hungry? I was just about to cook," he finally offered.

"Sure, thank you."

She had forgotten how enjoyable it was to watch him cook. She was excited to have the opportunity to observe him again.

"What was Sabrina like when you found her?" Olivia asked.

Fitz glanced back at her with an eyebrow raised at the odd question. He struggled with the right words to explain or soften the truth but he could find none. "She was damaged," he began. "Your mother was basically pimping her out to whomever she chose. She was being abused physically and emotionally. It was disgusting, the way your mother treated her own daughter."

His voice became more forceful as he mentally relived his first encounter with Sabrina and what he subsequently learned about her. He took another look at Olivia to judge her reaction and ensure she wasn't offended by the negative comments about her mother. The look of concern for her sister had not wavered.

"So you saved her."

"No, I made her an offer and wisely, your sister accepted it. She saved herself."

Because his back was turned, he missed the glimmer of light and admiration in her eyes.

He continued, "She didn't trust me at first, which was understandable, considering what she went through. It took a long time for her to realize that I wouldn't take advantage of her."

Although he didn't see her, she nodded her head in understanding. She thought he was done speaking but it was just a pause to emphasize his next comment.

"Trust takes time to build but can be easily taken away."

And she knew he was no longer speaking of Sabrina but about them. But she didn't know if he meant her trusting him, or him trusting her.

Delightful aromas filled the kitchen. And as the food continued to cook on the stove, he turned to her, resuming the same defensive and distant position.

"I wanted to tell you…..I don't know what message your mother left for you Olivia. The drive has been scanned for security purposes but no one has listened to it. But, you should know….the message your mother left Sabrina….It shook her up really bad."

Olivia had almost forgotten about the USB drive he gave her when she arrived. A final message from the woman who birthed her, abandoned her and attempted to use her just as she had her sister. She wasn't looking forward to hearing the ominous missive.

"What happened to your hand?" She saw his bandaged hand when she arrived but her mind was occupied in worry for her sister. Now, she could focus on it.

One shoulder shrugged dismissively. "It was nothing, just an accident."

She frowned, wishing she had been here to care for him and his injury; feeling a pang of sadness that he had likely been alone.

He quickly changed the subject, not willing to give her any details of what actually happened. He thought he should give her an out, so that she would not feel obligated to remain in his company.

"Your sister will likely sleep through the night. If you need to leave after eating, that's fine. I can call you tomorrow when she awakes."

As she stared at him, she thought he might be the most beautiful man that she had ever known. She was in no hurry to leave his presence.

Unfair or not, as she tried to move on in other relationships, she had been counting on him being available to her when or if she wanted him. She had confidence that he would be waiting in the wings whenever she decided to return.

It had been exactly one month since the Rose Garden incident and that confidence began to erode. When he made no further attempts to contact her, a new fear began to take over. She began to imagine a world where he no longer wanted or desired her; a world where he had successfully compartmentalized his feelings for her into a steel vault, secured and impenetrable. That kind of world scared her.

She realized that she could no longer exist without his love. She was not being controlled by him; he was her freedom. With him she would feel free to love without restraint, reservation or inhibition.

But with the passage of time, she became more and more apprehensive; uncertain of how to approach him. The possibility of his rejection was crushing.

When he finally called, she answered the phone on the first ring, desperate to hear his voice. He tried to alleviate her worries by explaining that his purpose in contacting her was a notification and that it was not necessary for her to come but she protested and insisted. Her eagerness was not only due to the welfare of her sister but to see him, be near him and gauge whatever feelings he had left for her.

She could not leave him now. Because if she did, she truly believed he could retreat so far from her that he would be emotionally unreachable.

"I'd like to stay the night, if that's all right with you."

(A/N: Thank you for reading. Hope you enjoyed. Have a great week.)