A/N: So...I've been slowly working on this story for sometime now (I'm pretty sure I'm the slowest writer in the history of the world) and I just wanted to preface it with a few things. I actually got the idea when I saw the preview for the finale where Callie says that it feels like the universe is against her. It was pretty clear that that statement had something to do with the adoption but I thought it would be interesting if she'd actually been referring to something much different.

After actually seeing the finale though, I decided to modify my original concept to incorporate the non-adoption, mostly because it facilitates one specific conversation that I want Callie to have with Stef and Lena. Other than that, the only other thing from the finale that I will be incorporating is the pregnancy (I'm going to ignore the Brandon and Mike story lines), so you can probably just consider this AU from before the start of the finale.

I also wanted to mention that I have very limited knowledge of the US medical system and am definitely in no way a doctor, so please forgive any inaccuracies on that front. If there's something you feel is really off base though, or there's just something you'd like to discuss, I'm always open to suggestions.

The story title (and the lyrics in this prologue/intro) come from the song Swim by Jack's Mannequin, which was written about the lead singer's experience with Leukemia. It's a fabulous song and definitely worth a listen.

I can't think of anything else right now but I'm sure I'm forgetting something...oh well...I hope you enjoy...

xxxxxx

Prologue: You Gotta Swim

Just keep your head above
Swim

In the short sixteen years that she'd been alive, more bad things had happened to Callie than happened to most people over the course of their entire lives. It seemed like every time she got even close to feeling comfortable or happy, some new terrible thing would happen and she would be back at square one. Deep down she knew that what Rita had told her was true – the universe wasn't against her – but sometimes it certainly felt like it was.

Callie had once told Jude that the Foster's weren't like them – that they were lucky. She'd let herself believe, let herself hope, that becoming one of them, that officially being adopted, would mean that her and Jude would inherit that luck. She'd imagined that officially being adopted would make her feel a little less like the entire universe was against her.

But then she hadn't been adopted and she'd never felt more unlucky.

Rita had explained to her that sometimes you just have to stick around long enough for your luck to change and, despite her natural instincts screaming at her to run, Callie really was willing to wait – the Fosters were, after all, worth waiting for.

The problem with waiting, however, was that, in the meantime, her luck, or lack thereof, was still her own. She was still Callie Jacob and, as she'd learned time and time again, bad things just had a tendency to happen to her.

You gotta swim
And swim when it hurts
The whole world is watching
You haven't come this far
To fall off the Earth

Callie was sixteen years old when she first heard the words, "It looks like cancer."

Those words were forever ingrained in her memory, that moment in time, unforgettable.

In that moment, time had slowed and her whole world had stopped. In that instant there had been no past, no future – there had been absolutely nothing but that moment.

In that moment she hadn't yet been at the point where she was ready to face what was ahead of her, she hadn't been ready to be strong, she hadn't been ready to fight, she hadn't been ready for anything. Those things would come later. In that moment, when she'd heard the word cancer for the first time – really heard it because no matter how many times she'd heard the word cancer before that moment she'd never actually heard it – she'd just been confused.

It hadn't made any sense.

All of the bad things that had happened in her life up to that point had not prepared her for that moment.

She might have known that she was unlucky but never in a million years could she have imagined that she would be diagnosed with cancer.

You gotta swim
Swim for your life
When you're not so sure you'll survive

Cancer was a problem unlike any other problem that Callie had ever faced and she was completely ill-prepared to deal with it. She couldn't run from cancer and, despite how hard she tried, she learned that she couldn't get through it on her own either. In the most difficult moments, she had to learn to rely on the Fosters in a way that she hadn't relied on anyone but herself in a very long time.

Until her diagnosis, she hadn't really understood how much of herself she'd been holding back from her new family. She hadn't really understood how much of an effect she had on them either.

Callie may have been the one to be diagnosed but cancer happened to all of the Fosters. Cancer changed them all.

Yeah you gotta swim
Don't let yourself sink
Just find the horizon
I promise you it's not as far as you think