Sooo sorry for the wait! I made this chapter extra long to try to make up for it! D:

Warning: mood swings ahead. A little OOC!

I let the steamy water wash over me.

It was as if, even if just for the moment, the anxiety and frustration and love and guilt and longing all began to swirl down the shower drain along with my strawberry shampoo. Realizing I couldn't avoid it forever, I eventually turned the water off and it all rushed back once again, hitting me like a ton of bricks somewhere between my lungs and my stomach. I tried to calm myself as I dried my hair. I made my way downstairs to the kitchen to grab a bite to eat before school, and was met with a very tired-looking Charlie.

"Morning," he mumbled around the rim of his coffee cup from where he sat at the small table. I nodded to him with a small smile.

"I was wondering if you had a second to talk," Charlie said as I was reaching for the toaster.

"Sure, Dad." I slid into the seat across from him, a little nervous from the concerned look he was giving me.

"Look - you haven't told me much about why Edward hasn't been around lately, and I won't ask if you don't want me to. But I just need to know that this won't become another relapse of the last time you separated...I need to that I won't lose you again, Bells." He avoided my eyes as he spoke, looking as uncomfortable as he could be. It isn't like him to discuss anything like this, with anyone, really. Of course he would be worried - last time Edward and I were apart, I completely lost myself. I know it isn't fair to leave everything unexplained to Charlie, since he was greatly impacted as a result of my last breakup. But how could I explain something that I don't even understand?

"It won't be." I assured him, not convincing myself at all.

I must have appeared confident enough, because he gave me a small smile and said, "Good."

I smiled back, and left for school without an idea of how I'm going to figure this mess out, or my toast.

The beginning of my day flew by while I was stuck in my own head.

I loved Edward. There was no denying that, every part of me knew it. That's what scared me the most - I wanted nothing more than to make him happy, to see that infectious crooked smile on his face. I'm always trying to keep him happy, whether it's keeping my distance from Jacob upon his persistence or his need to act as my full-time security guard. He doesn't let me drive myself to school. He arranged it so that we have almost every class together. We keep each other company directly after school, and even when he pretends to leave after dinner, he waits in my room and we fall asleep together. I feel choked - and even though I realize I never really argued against our time together, it was because it made him happy. I think that's what I yearn to change - my weakness in compromising myself for his happiness, at least to a certain degree.

"...invitations?"

I blinked myself out of my daze, looking towards Angela's smiling face. I was sitting at my usual lunch table with Jessica, Angela, Mike and Eric. "Sorry, what did you say?" I asked, dumbly.

"I was wondering if you would help me fill out some of my graduation invitations?" Angela asked, laughing a bit at my disoriented look.

"Oh! Oh, yeah, of course. Just let me know when." I smiled back at her.

The bell rang signaling the end of lunch. I dumped my unfinished lunch in the trash and started off for Biology when cold, pale fingers wrapped around my wrist.

I jumped and looked up, startled. Edward's face was only about a foot from my own. His eyes were still a dark topaz, and his hair looked a little more disheveled than usual - like he had been running his hands through it and pulling at it all day. He let go of my arm as soon as I jumped, springing away from it like he had touched fire.

He avoided my eyes when he talked to me. "Do you think you could join me to my car? I really need to talk to you."

I was about to say no when I thought back to the conversation I had with Alice. She had a few good points – I at least need to give him an explanation.

"What about class?" I asked, confused.

His eyes finally found mine. "It's healthy to ditch class now and then," he grinned at me as he repeated the words he had once said when we first met.

"I don't know, Edward..." I bit my lip. I was beginning to seriously think he didn't understand what 'taking a break' meant. But the pleading look in his eyes combined with the knowledge that this has been hard and confusing for him, too, made me squeak out, "Okay."

He gave me a tight smile and nodded his head toward the door. We walked in silence with a fair amount of distance between us to his car, and he opened the passenger car door for me. I plopped my backpack down on the floor of the car while I watched him with caution as he walked around to the driver's side. Once we were both seated, he pocketed his keys.

We both sat in silence for what seemed like entirely too long, and we looked anywhere but at each other.

He took a long, unnecessary sigh. I looked over at him, my hands placed on my knees. He looked out the windshield as he spoke.

"I feel as though I am legitimately going crazy," he said. I stayed silent - I didn't know how to reply to that. He allowed a few seconds to pass before he looked over at me, his hand running through his hair. He looked so stressed, and I felt a stab of guilt course through me as I realized how he must be feeling - I imagine it might be similar to how I felt when he left me. Rejected.

He licked his lips and tried again.

"I can't lose you, Bella. I realize that sounds selfish, but I need you." His eyes were burning into mine, full of sincerity, his brows pulled together in a serious expression. I ended up looking out the passenger door window, unable to withstand the amount of focus he supplied me.

"Bella," I heard him say, softly. "Bella, please look at me."

The tears escaped the edges of my eyes, rolling their way down my face and chin, dropping to my thighs. I turned even father away from him, ashamed.

I hurt him. When he left me, it was the worst pain I'd ever felt - and here I am, inflicting that same pain upon the man I love. I'm horrible.

His cold fingers wrapped around my chin and pulled so that I was forced to face him. I kept my eyes cast downward, the tears rolling faster now.

"Hey," he whispered. Gently, he began to wipe away the descending tears - only making me cry even harder. Realizing this, he pulled me against him and enveloped me into his arms, my head lying against his chest, fitting right into the crook of his neck, his head resting on top of mine.

"I'm...sorry," I managed to gasp out between my sobs. I clutched at his shirt with my hands, trying to bring him closer, closer. I missed this - I missed his sweet smell, always so intoxicating, I missed the way I fit perfectly in his arms, how normal it felt.

He began to stroke my hair, kissing me on the top of my head, then my temple. He just waited and let me cry into him, surely ruining his shirt in the process.

He kept stroking my hair. Stroking, stroking. Petting me as I became putty in his arms. Petting me.

I lightly pushed him away, but he only let go enough so that he could see my face.

"Are you okay?" He asked, his arms still around me. His expression was full of concern, full of concern for his little, fragile Bella.

I wiped my eyes.

"Why did you bring me here?" I questioned him, a little too icily. I wasn't mad at him in particular - not entirely - my anger was mostly directed toward the influence he held over me, the way he made me crumble to my knees after just one touch. I despised it.

He began cautiously, confused by my sudden mood change. "I just wanted to get some answers. You can't expect all of this to heal itself - you need to talk to me, we need to work this out together. We're a team, right?"

Team.

"You just don't get it, Edward," I said, my voice hard, defiant. I watched as his eyes, just previously gentle and calm, took on a hard look of their own.

"That's because you won't talk to me!" He shouted, leaning over so that his face was leveled with mine. He gripped me by my shoulders, as hard as he could without hurting me. "How do you expect me to 'get it', when you won't let me in? Let me in, Bella!" He shook my shoulders twice with desperacy, obviously frustrated.

I pushed him hard with the sudden need to have his hands off of me - it was the only way to keep a clear mind. He let go of me, even though the amount of strength I used wouldn't have even made him budge. We both faced each other, scowling, leaning as far away from each other as the car would allow us.

I knew this hadn't been a good idea.

"You want to know how I'm feeling? Honestly?" I spit out. I was at the point at which I lost my filter. I was tired of not understanding what I want. I was tired of him not understanding why I was struggling with our relationship. I was just so tired of it all.

"I feel suffocated when I'm with you!" I shouted. My eyes began to water, but I wouldn't allow the tears to fall this time – I blinked them away. "I feel like a pet – like I'm on your leash, and you tell me what to do and scold me when I don't listen to you and I can't take it anymore! You make me feel inferior, you make me feel like a child." I started to choke on my words.

He was staring at me with this blank expression, and I almost felt guilty – but this was what he wanted, to lay everything out on the table. So I continued.

"You made me so dependent on you that when you left, I couldn't even hold myself together. That shouldn't happen…I trust you enough not to leave me again, but I need to know that I haven't become our relationship. Does that make sense to you?"

I breathed heavily and watched him. His expression, previously blank, slowly turned into one of…

Fury?

I've never been afraid of Edward. Not when I found out what he was, not when he threw one of his many temper tantrums. I always knew he would never hurt me, never lay an unwanted hand on me.

But now he had this dangerous glint in his eyes that made me shrink back farther away from him, my eyes going wide.

I didn't see him move, but suddenly he was towering over me, his face centimeters from my own.

"Are you done?" He asked through his teeth.

I was frozen in place. I'd never seen him act like this before, he was always so under control. I couldn't speak, I couldn't nod, so I just stared like a deer caught in the headlights.

"Good," he said. He placed both hands on either side of my head, caging me in. "Because I want you to listen to my side. I let you have your secrets. Don't I?"

He's gone crazy. I just stared at him.

"And I let you have your opinions?"

He's totally lost it. Silence.

"And I let you do whatever you want, as long as you're protected, correct?"

This time he waited for an answer. I stared at him for the longest time before whispering, almost inaudibly, "Just look at how you're speaking to me, Edward." But I knew he could hear me.

His eyes remained hard. "What are you talking about?"

"You keep saying you let me do all of this. Like it's a gift. Oh, I'm allowed to have opinions? Let me go make you a god damn cake!" I could feel my cheeks flushing with red and my voice started to crack.

This time it was his turn to embrace the silence. "You've changed," I whispered, letting him hear the hurt in my voice.

With his arms still trapping me, he lowered his mouth to my left ear. I felt the cool air from his breath as he whispered, "Can't you see that it's your fault?"

Then his lips were on mine.

This wasn't how he usually kissed me. No, this kiss was rough, dominating - he trapped my lips underneath his and kept one hand on the door behind me while his other traveled down to my waist, resting on the small of my back. He hovered over me, only allowing me to feel some of his weight.

My eyes were wide open, shocked – until I finally processed what was happening. I shoved against his chest as hard as I could.

"Get off of me!" I shouted at him, between kisses.

He kissed me harder.

He slowly licked along my bottom lip and I gasped. He took advantage of the moment to slip his tongue between my lips, tasting me for the first time in weeks.

I pulled his hair from the roots. When that didn't work I used my fists to hit his chest, over and over. He probably realized I was going to hurt myself in my attempts to hurt him, so he took his hand from my back in order to grab both of my wrists and hold them above my head. His other hand held my chin roughly in place so that I could not escape.

I screamed at him, but it came out as a weak, muffled squeak around his lips.

Tears started to fall from my eyes.

There wasn't anything left I could do to fight him off, so I shut down. Keeping my eyes open, I went limp against him. All I could do was wait for him to stop.

Sensing that I was having trouble breathing, he eventually moved his lips down my jaw, kissing open-mouthed all the way down to my neck, where he began his work there, kissing and sucking.

After gasping for breath I took the opportunity to begin screaming at him again.

"Get off me!" I repeated, my tears blurring my vision. "St-stop…stop it!"

All I could see were the tips of his bronze hair which were tickling my cheek.

Suddenly the passenger door swung open, and Edward quickly slipped his arm under my head - which had been leaning against the car door – to keep me from falling out of the car. He pulled me up and I kept slapping and punching him, even though it hurt, until he released me and I toppled out of the car. I stumbled out and was about to fall when another pair of hard, pale arms wrapped around my waist.

Jasper looked down at me. He took in my face, which was streaming with tears, before moving his shocked stare to Edward. The rest of the Cullen kids were also gathered around. I turned to glare at Edward and saw he looked almost as confused as Jasper, a horrified look on his face.

He started to get out of the car with his hands out in front of him, palms facing me. "Bella, I didn't-"

"Don't come near me again." I growled at him, my face as hard as I could make it given the tears. I reached behind Edward to grab my backpack, keeping my eyes on him the entire time, just daring him to make a move towards me. I marched past the Cullen's wide eyed stares, past all of the students who had gathered around on their way to their cars, and with all eyes on me, I started the engine to my truck. I didn't bother to put on my seatbelt as I reversed and floored it out of the parking lot without looking back.

I wondered if he understood what I meant now.

It was really interesting to see who people sided with last chapter...I always love hearing where you're guys' sympathy lies!

Don't be too hard on Edward in this chapter…remember, the poor boy is confused :(

Im going to try out an idea suggested by Jessica314 and write the next chapter in Edward's POV! Because I feel like I'm creating a wee bit of a bias...oops (/.\)