A huge thank you to everyone who had read, reviewed and favorited Daily Disasters! This is just a short, silly bonus chapter based on "the toaster incident" Darcy mentions in chapter 4. I've got a new tasertricks fic in the works (with a more serious plot and a darker version of Loki) so you'll be seeing more from me shortly!

3 months later

"Come on, it won't bite."

"This is utterly ridiculous, Darcy."

"Nooooo, what's ridiculous is that you're a grown ass man-god who can't make his own damn toaster waffles!"

"But they taste so much better when you make them."

"Flattery isn't gonna get you out of this one, babe."

Darcy watched with amusement as Loki huffed and crossed his arms, carefully eyeing the stainless steel toaster that sat innocently on the counter before him.

"It's easy, just remember rule number one," Darcy held up her index finger, "do not, for the love of God, stick anything in there that isn't food...isn't solid food." She amended.

"Yes, yes, I know that." Loki muttered grumpily.

Darcy snorted, "Yeah, only cause you tried to use it to heat leftover spaghetti and nearly burned down the whole S.H.I.E.L.D. facility."

"Need I remind you, yet again, about your promise to never speak of the toaster incident?" He shook his head ruefully, "What ever possessed me to tell you about that?"

"Must have been my dazzling good looks and buttload of charm." Darcy squeezed between the counter and Loki's body, briefly popping up on her toes to kiss the corner of his mouth. "Okay!" She turned to the toaster and clapped her hands together excitedly, "Waffle cooking 101 begins now!"

As Darcy ripped open the cardboard box she had retrieved from the freezer, she felt Loki's arm slide around her waist. His other hand brushed her hair away from the back of her neck and he started planting slow, soft kisses along her spine.

"Loki..." Darcy half-whined, half-moaned, "You're not paying attention."

"I can think of a far better use of our time right now." He drawled in her ear, nipping lightly at her skin.

Darcy sighed and allowed herself to lean back into his chest, "Keep your pants on. No sex till you learn how to use the toaster."

"This is cruel and unusual punishment." Loki buried his nose in her neck, his words muffled against her skin.

"No," she countered, "this is Darcy getting sick of making your breakfast every freaking morning."

Darcy had made the move out of her old apartment and in with Loki about a month ago, seeing no reason to keep paying rent when she spent most nights in Loki's bed anyway. And, she had to say, living with a sexy, mischievous God was pretty damn awesome...except when said God was being a total baby about using basic household appliances.

What had really surprised her was when Director Fury gave her the go-ahead to move in. Of course, it hadn't come without a fight. Darcy had endured hours of psych evaluations and lie detector tests to prove that she was acting of her own free will. Apparently, no matter how reformed Loki had become over the last year, S.H.I.E.L.D. still found it easier to believe that Darcy was being mind controlled/ blackmailed/otherwise threatened by Loki rather than the simple truth that she was kinda in love with the guy.

Though Jane was still a bit wary of him, she had slowly warmed up to the idea of their relationship once she saw how surprisingly affectionate and protective Loki was. In fact, Jane had even made a joke in the lab one morning, calling Darcy her sister-in-law and causing Loki to roll his eyes so hard Darcy thought they would pop right out of his head.

The memory still made Darcy smile. Returning to the task at hand, she ripped open the waffle package and pulled one out. Loki was still wrapped around her, his chin resting on her left shoulder. Darcy raised the frozen waffle and smacked him square in the face with it.

"Pay attention." She demanded.

Loki growled lowly, reminding her of a big, dangerous cat. "You will regret that, my dear."

"I'm sure I will," Darcy said nonchalantly, dropping the waffle into one of the toaster slots. "Okay, so this dial controls how dark you want it to toast...Loki? What are you doing?"

The God of Mischief's hand was currently working its way down the front of her pants.

"You told me to keep my pants on," he commented, grasping the waistband of her sweats and giving them a forceful tug, "you did not mention anything about your pants."

"Semantics," Darcy mumbled, her breath catching as she felt him push her panties aside and sink one long finger into her core.

Her body moved on instinct, pushing against him to grind against his crotch. She felt his chest rumble against her back as he made a low noise of approval. A second finger slipped inside her and Darcy began to pant.

"This isn't part of the lesson." She gasped, twisting her head to the side to capture his lips in a greedy kiss.

"Mmm," Loki hummed in agreement, breaking away from the kiss to grin at her roguishly, "but isn't this so much better?"

Darcy's legs felt like they were about to give out on her. Loki must have felt her trembling because his hand was suddenly gone from between her legs. In one quick motion he stripped off her underwear, spun her around, and set her up on the countertop.

Darcy's breath caught in her throat when she saw the way Loki was staring at her. She still couldn't believe the sheer amount of need she saw on his face whenever he looked at her like that, but Darcy suspected that if she were to see herself right now, that same expression of desperate lust would be mirrored on her own face.

Loki stepped forward and Darcy automatically widened her legs, allowing him to stand between them. Even with her sitting on the countertop, there was a significant difference in height between them. Loki inclined his head until their foreheads were touching and their noses brushed. In the mid-morning light of the kitchen, his eyes were clear and blue. His stare set her blood on fire.

Darcy reached around his back and pulled at the hem of his grey t-shirt. Weekend Loki tended to wear a lot of thin, fitted shirts that clung to the muscles of his chest and shoulders. Darcy really, really liked Weekend Loki.

She pulled the shirt up over his head, feeling her body flush with heat as she took in his bare, muscled torso. His frame had filled out a bit since she had moved in with him. Though he was still naturally thin, he didn't look nearly as sickly as he did when Thor had first brought him to S.H.I.E.L.D. Even if his diet was comprised of 85% toaster waffles, at least he was eating.

When Darcy first raided his kitchen and discovered that Loki's freezer was packed full of yellow Eggo boxes, she had laughed her ass off, thinking of Thor and his affinity for Pop-Tarts. It must run in the family, but she would never mention that to Loki. She doubted he'd appreciate the comparison to his brother.

"What are you thinking about?" Loki murmured against the skin of her shoulder as he moved the strap of her tank top aside to work on a hickey.

"Not Thor." Darcy responded automatically before her brain caught up with her mouth and she widened her eyes, realizing how bad that sounded.

Loki froze, looking up at her with a questioning raise of his eyebrow.

"So that happened. Trust me, it totally came out wrong. Forget I said anything." She reached for him, looping her arms around his neck and pulling him close.

"Gladly." Loki responded, still looking a little perturbed by the mention of his brother while the two of them were half naked.

Darcy kissed him, raking her nails down his bare back and ridding him of any lingering concerns.

"Darcy," Loki's voice was hoarse when their mouths finally separated, "I need you." He bucked his hips lightly against her inner thigh, trying to relieve his arousal.

"But the toaster..." Darcy protested weakly.

"Fuck the toaster." Loki growled, pulling at Darcy's tank top.

"Really? Cause I thought you wanted to fuck me." Darcy quipped, mentally high-fiving herself for the spectacular comeback.

Loki wasn't quite so amused. "While I normally appreciate your quick tongue, you are trying the last of my patience right now." He warned in a low, sexy voice that made Darcy shiver with desire.

He continued to tug stubbornly on Darcy's top until she raised her arms and allowed him to pull it off. Immediately, Loki unclasped her bra and let it fall to the floor before cupping her breasts with his hands and squeezing firmly.

Darcy gasped at the unexpected movement, letting her head fall back and –

"Ow! Dammit!"

– smacking her skull against the row of cabinet doors behind her.

Loki's eyes went wide and Darcy could see him trying to hold back his laughter. Despite his efforts, a short, choked snort still managed to escape.

An honest-to-God snort.

Darcy was gonna kill him.

"Not funny, dude!" She complained, reaching up to feel the bump that was already forming on the back of her head.

"I believe it's quite funny, actually." Loki flashed her a wide grin. Darcy was tempted to smack it off his face, but then his thumb brushed over her nipple and all murderous thoughts flew out of her head.

She whimpered and tried to draw Loki closer to her, but he took a step back, shaking his head.

"Mind your head, my dear." He instructed gently.

"Mind my...oh," Darcy gasped, catching his meaning as she watched him bend over and part her thighs.

His warm breath hit her centre and Darcy went limp, carefully leaning her head back against the kitchen cabinets to avoid another painful incident. At the moment though, she couldn't really bring herself to care about pain or waffles or anything else for that matter.

All that existed in that moment was him and her, doing totally inappropriate things on their kitchen counter.

Best Saturday morning ever.

And besides, Darcy thought dazedly as Loki's tongue started moving between her legs, there was always tomorrow to teach him about the toaster.