Disclaimer: Goes for the whole story. I do not own Draco Malfoy or Tara Gliebie's My Immortal. In no means was this meant to hurt any feelings, this is just me teasing. I've just always wanted to write this...

Moony's A/N: I've always wanted to write this commentary, so I decided to post what I wrote. The text of the book is written in bold. Enjoy it.

Draco Malfoy was having a tough year. He was starting to feel conflicted with everything, and started to hide out in the Room of Hidden Things for long periods of time. He hated school, hated You-Know-Who, and just needed some refuge.

As he ruffled through some of the things that he had hidden away, he found a small, badly published book. He peered inside, and thought it a good idea to read it. After all, what harm could possibly come from a book?

It was called: My Immortal.

Chapter 1.

AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik)

"What?" Draco muttered. "No, I don't get it. Fangs? Bloody hell..."

2 my gf (ew not in that way)

"Does gf mean girlfriend?" Draco asked. "I wasn't thinking of it in that way...but do you not support gay rights? Blimey..."

raven, bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling.

"Please tell me that she can actually spell things, please! I'm practically begging right now!" Draco all but exclaimed. "Otherwise this Raven and bloodytearz666 are not helping in any way...this is pure butchering of the English language!"

U rok! Justin ur da luv of my deprzzing life

"...who would ever date someone so stupid?"

u rok 2! MCR ROX!

"MCR?" Draco shook his head disbelievingly.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Draco couldn't help but laugh at all the X's.

Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way

Draco blinked. "And people think my name's funny? Weaselbee's got to see this..."

and I have long ebony black hair

"Er...Ebony means Black...this is so awkward."

(that's how I got my name)

"Oh, of course!" Draco exclaimed, feigning recognition. "Kids are all named based on what they look like when they get older! Of course!"

with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears

"Er...right," Draco said confusedly. "Yeah. Limpid tears? Honest to Merlin, who describes themselves like that?"

and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee

"Who?"

(AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!).

"Oh, right. Gotta get out of here..." Draco tried to peel his eyes away from the story, but found himself wanting to read more.

Conveniently, though, next to the book lay a picture of a girl named Amy Lee, as was labelled on the bottom.

"Hmm..." Draco found himself thinking. "Not the end of the world, but...I'd expect better..."

I'm not related to Gerard Way

"Who?!"

but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie.

"Um..." Draco said, thinking out loud. "Father says that people's feelings on hot differ...His mother found Bellatrix hot." He shuddered at the thought.

I'm a vampire

"Woah! This just took a turn for the cooler!" Draco felt himself being absorbed into the world of Ebony.

but my teeth are straight and white.

Draco furrowed his brow. "Are Vampire teeth normally different?"

I have pale white skin. I'm also a witch,

All of a sudden, Draco wasn't sure how much he liked Ebony anymore. "Isn't that convenient?"

and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts

"Oh Merlin!" Draco looked horrified. "Wait until my father hears about this!"

in England

"What is this shit?" Draco read the above two words multiple times. "Hogwarts is in Scotland, you filthy little Mudblood."

where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen).

"No, really?" Draco asked the book sardonically. "I could never tell."

I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell)

"...Because your name's Ebony? Okay, then..."

and I wear mostly black.

"Isn't that what the Gothic culture tends to wear?" Draco wondered aloud.

I love Hot Topic

"What is that? Certainly not a Wizard store. Even Mudblood Granger's never mentioned a Hot Topic...not that I talk to her much, anyway..."

and I buy all my clothes from there.

"What a fascinating wardrobe!" Draco gave a 'whoop'. "Not that you'd need much variety, there's a uniform at Hogwarts, after all. As there should be."

For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots.

Draco stared blankly. "And I needed to know because..."

I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation,

"Wha-?" Draco scanned the page. "I thought your skin was pale white? Why would you need more white foundation?"

black eyeliner and red eye shadow.

Draco yawned. "Are you done yet?"

I was walking outside Hogwarts.

"In that?" Draco asked, looking aghast. "No! You're hurting my brain my just making me think about it! Get out of the already messed up climate of Hogwarts!"

It was snowing and raining so there was no sun,

"Not. Computing. Repeat," Draco reread the sentence. "Damn it! How can it be raining and snowing at the same time?! Isn't that against the laws of nature and stuff?"

As you could tell, Draco was getting very involved into the story.

which I was very happy about. A lot of preps

"What's a prep?" Draco paused, thinking. "Prep as in preppy? Do you mean like the Brown and Patil girl?" Draco decided that he would never know.

stared at me.

Draco scoffed. "Well yeah! What'd you expect? You're way out of dress code!"

I put up my middle finger at them.

"Doesn't that mean...wow, Ebony. You're so polite."

"Hey Ebony!" shouted a voice.

"Oh my Merlin, she's got friends?" Draco had a disbelieving look upon his face.

I looked up. It was….

Draco rolled his eyes at the forced suspense. Although, he had to admit, it did make him somewhat curious.

Draco Malfoy!

"Oh Merlin! I called her by her first name! I never call anyone by their first name! Oh Merlin...maybe I'm here to dock points of Gryffindork for being out of dress code!" Draco looked quite hopeful.

"What's up Draco?" I asked.

"Damn you! We're not a first name basis!" Draco now found himself yelling at the book.

"Nothing." he said shyly.

"Shyly? Shyly?!" Draco was furious. "Listen here, Ebony. I am not shy. Got it?"

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away.

"You had - what - friends - called -" Draco spluttered. "Oh Merlin."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Yippee," Draco said unenthusiastically. "More X's."

AN: IS it good?

"NO! No it's not good!" Draco exclaimed. "You made me shy! How is this good?!"

PLZ tell me fangz!

"I just did, you lunatic."

As much as Draco wanted to slam the book, he realized it must have had cursed powers, as he found himself unable to put it down.

Moony's Authour's Note: Did you like it? I know Draco's a bit OOC, but I just want to write his reactions later with his transformed self. Later on, as the characters are introduced in My Immortal, their HP counterparts will show up. But the main character is Draco.