She is gone but never forgotten:

Bond came into the office after his latest mission after biding adieu to Jack. A habit he had formed since inheriting the porcelain bull-dog almost a year ago.

Later today his had a meeting with the insurance adjuster for the last time…fitting it is on the anniversary. Skyfall was destroyed one year ago today…and his life.

The cliché you never know what you have until it's gone is an appropriate explanation of his life for the past year.

Bond takes the elevator to Mallory's office. When Bond does have to refer to the man as M is comes out as a croak. Mallory knows it and tries to force him to say it out loud for everyone to hear.

It is a betrayal.

Mallory is a good man. Damn he barely knew her and he took a bullet for her. It could have been just because he was selfless and an honourable man but more likely because she had the unique ability to get under your skin…and in your head.

Bond completed his mandatory psychological visits within two months of the incident.

There is a portrait gallery of past leaders of SIS outside in the hall before the offices. This is where he alway pauses before meetings.

Bond stands before her picture. The brass plate with her name engraved is back in place. Bond is about to add another to his collection. This will be the 7th he has taken.

No one is worthy enough to speak her name aloud let alone know what it is…it's too personal.

Tanner, Eve and Q know to only refer to her as M in his presence…she is and always be the only M to him.

Tanner misses her as much as Bond. Eve respected her a great deal for what she represented to the women of the service. Q was the unfortunate one that did not get to work for her long.

Bond stares into her deep blue eyes. Her voice is suddenly in his mind echoing… harumph get on with it then Bond.

Bond has got on with it but….the pain is still there…pain for what could have been if only he had been smart enough to realize it in time.

There is a trail of dead women after his mission...even this last one. Bond is not the misogynist that some label him for his lack of concern for the collateral damage. It is the defence mechanism he has acquired as a result of his job.

The loss of Olivia Mansfield has shattered him to his core.

That bastard's obsession with her took her away. It looked as though he was going to kiss her as he held her in his arms in Bond's own bloody chapel…his idiot henchmen took her away from them both.

Bond never got it until that moment in the chapel as she slipped away from him. Silva was right. They were brothers of a sort.

They both wanted from her what they were too frightened to acknowledge let alone take. No...not true...Silva would have taken her…if he could have flown her away to his private island slum in Asia.

Bond wishes that Silva had taken her away...at least she might have remained alive for Bond to rescue.

Over the year he has had a lot of time to think on Silva and how the events in London and Scotland occurred.

From testimony from the courtroom before Bond arrived he had witness accounts of Silva's frustration and inability to shoot M. Even with Mallory launching himself over the table the shot would have winged her shoulder…not killed her.

Instead of shooting her after dispensing with the guards he prowled towards her before even letting off a shot in her direction. She was there before him and he stalled.

Bond took M to her doom by not just hiding her somewhere in London…it is all his bloody fault no matter what the doctor's have told him.

Bond has taken responsibility for his own life since his parents died…he would take responsibility for this too.

In another year he will give up his 00 status…he doesn't plan on living that long.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Tanner and Eve stand at the glass window. The two of them look into the corridor at Bond standing before her portrait.

Eve frowns. "He took the name again. I don't think I can convince M that it is not him doing it this time."

"He is not well Moneypenny. The doctors have cleared him but still…we all miss her but it is different for him."

"He was in love with her Mr. Tanner…that is the difference."

"You've said that before…I guess I'm blind because I never saw it."

"I've tried to talk to him about it and Silva. Bond is of the opinion that Silva loved her too and that is why the obsession was so strong."

"There was always something undefinable about her…a level of intensity that…well, it just scared me but I could see how it could be alluring to her agents."

"She was unobtainable and that is often a bigger turn on than anything Mr. Tanner."

"Do you think she just gave up Eve?"

"In a way…yes. After Nigel died and the clear disinterest of her children to form any adult relationship with her."

"I know and have spoken to her children and there is a level of bitterness there that has festered since childhood. After the funeral I spoke with them and now that they understood the life she led. Now they can do nothing but mourn their mother and the prejudice that kept them apart. I am so glad to have known her and worked with her…she taught me a great deal."

"She was a special lady. What are we going to do about Bond? He needs help…deep help."

"Judi…M's daughter looks a lot like her. I have actually wanted to bring them together…to see if she could heal him a bit…give him a friend…someone else that feels the same loss and regret as he does."

"That could work Tanner…I will make the call this week. You go get him and bring him into the meeting."

Tanner stands silently beside Bond looking at the portrait. Bond appreciates his silence and the respect Tanner has always shown towards her memory.

"I miss her."

Bond turns to him and just stares. Tanner usually just remains silent and then says we should get in now…he's waiting. Tanner never calls him M in his presence.

Tanner has never said anything deeper on the subject but today is a different day. Today is a day to remember her.

"I wish I was anywhere but here today Tanner."

"Would you like to go to the pub after…this meeting?"

"Yes."

"Eve and Q would like to come also?"

"Fine…the more the merrier." Bond says with a smile that does not meet his eyes.

They loved her too…he does not have the monopoly on grief. Maybe this is what he needs today.

Christ…he needs something today of all days.

"I have to see the insurance adjuster at 3 so I will meet you across the street at 4."

"Good. I will tell the others."

"I'm as ready as I will ever be for this so shall we?"

"Yes."

Tanner turns and walks down the corridor and through the door.

Bond glances back at the portrait and whispers. I never told you how much you meant to me. I miss you.

Bond squeezes his eyes shut for a moment to will the tears back into his head. He turns and follows Tanner.

At least Mallory has a completely different office than the giant glass bowl that she was on display in.

The debrief ends and the success of the mission pleases Mallory. Mallory is fully aware of what the day is and there has been a sombre cloud over this otherwise sunny day.

Olivia Mansfield's missed greatly but nothing could lessen the guilt that James Bond felt in her passing. Frankly the doctors are missing the problem as far as he's concerned.

The man loved her…he likely didn't realize it until it was too late. She was sentimental about him and it had been obvious to Mallory right away.

Bond is wallowing and it is a concern to Mallory but if it does not conflict with his work…what can he say or do? Mallory knows what to do but should he do it?

Bond stands with Tanner and Eve about to leave when Mallory speaks.

"I am quite aware of what day it is and use the expense account at the pub later."

There were wane smiles on their faces as they left the office.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

After they left Mallory looked through emails and waited. This always seemed to happen after his debriefings…how she knew he did not know unless his office was bugged…but that would be impossible.

The phone rang. "Hello Olivia."

How is everything Mallory?

"Good and how is Island life treating you…join any clubs yet?"

I would not be a member of any club that would have me as a member. How is he?

"I would really like to know how you always manage to call right after a meeting, my dear."

I have my ways. Is he living a life or merely existing in one?

"I'm not going to lie Olivia…It's not good."

I've been worried about this. I don't want him to wallow in guilt for my passing. Death seemed the only solution to protect my family. Retirement would never have worked, they could have easily tracked me down and or hurt my family. It was the only way…my secrets and enemies had to die.

"You were wise to plan it but there has been an unsuspected element arise you should know about."

Only you and the old Q know about this and he assured me that I would be untraceable. So what is this unsuspected element?

"I don't know how to say this…but to just blurt it out. James Bond was and is in love with you."

Silence on the other end.

"Olivia?"

Yes…I'm here. Have you been drinking Gareth or are you insane?

"Neither my dear…I assure you."

What do you expect me to say about this? I don't agree...what... I'm worried about the boy.

"I knew you would be…just as I knew you would call today. I want to send him to you. If he is to continue living much longer…not to mention working, he needs healing. Things are getting desperate enough that Tanner and Moneypenny are going to try to set him up with your daughter."

WHAT! Christ, that would not be good. How could a man like Bond have a spark for me?

"Olivia…please. I know that you have a line of gentlemen suitors. We do like to keep an eye on you."

I know you do and they are not hard to pick out. Who do they think you sent them to watch?

"You are her majesty's cousin."

That could be easily researched and debunked, how inane are these agents watching me Gareth?

"I didn't say you were a cousin from the right side of the bed."

So I'm an illegitimate trouble maker, am I? Your twisted way of getting back at me for that bullet Gareth?"

"No…I needed a plausible excuse for them to be carefully guarding a sweet…innocent retiree…how else could I explain it unless you were a former member of parliament."

Yes well, I would rather be the love child of the Duke of Gloucester than one of those…good thinking Mallory. Here I didn't think you had what it takes to do my job. Send him to me…I will try to set him back on the straight and narrow. Then he can get back to work and go find a life.

"What if the life he wants is to be with you?"

Don't be absurd…I will make him see sense and send him back to you ready to tackle the world.

"I will send him but I don't think he will come back. You need to examine the real possibility that he is in love with you. I know you're sentimental about the man Olivia but do you feel enough for him to become more?"

I will think on what you have said Gareth. Call me when he is due to arrive. I will pick him up at the airport.

"That would not be a good idea…to many cameras and eyes. I will call off your guard as he gets closer but I will leave some bread crumbs for him to follow to you…it may give him a much-needed boost of hope."

Never in a million years would I have thought this was going to happen…my boring retirement is about to end…goodbye Gareth.

"Goodbye Olivia."

Mallory takes the last surveillance photos of Olivia and places them in a folder. This folder will be on his desk in plain view for his next meeting with Bond.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

This is my idea for the ending of the next Bond film.

Barbra Broccoli allowed M to come back to life…on youtube anyway. "Just when you thought I was dead."