Sorry it's been so long between chapters. I am still alive, it's just been a crazy few weeks. I changed time zones three times, had a short holiday in Singapore, and have settled into life and a job in the UK. But now I'm here, and now I've got another chapter for you :)

Thank you to Guest, gypsy rosalie, and Guest for their reviews.

Chapter 27

Alex shivered, the wind had now turned icy, biting with the sharp pellets of rain that hit her skin. As if I wasn't already miserable enough but still Alex made no move to get up. She couldn't until she was sure that she wouldn't just end up back here tomorrow. Where's my negotiator to talk me down from this ledge? Where's my survival instinct when I need it? The depression had moved through her brain, dismantling everything that could produce even a little bit of happiness. Now Alex only felt all the more miserable in situations because she knew she was meant to feel happy and she didn't, not even a little bit.

She looked around the clearing, there was no one to be seen. No policeman to talk her down, no loved one to tell her they were going to get her through it; not even the rabbits stopped to offer consolation as they fled from the rain. I guess I'm all I've got, Alex grimaced. I've got to pull myself out of this and keep on pulling myself out of it until it becomes second nature. Maybe one day there will be no abyss to pull myself out of. That's all she could hope for now, the ever sought after "One Day" the utopian concept that was trotted out to keep heads held high.

But one day seemed so far away, at this point even tomorrow seemed out of reach. The rain just kept on coming down, and Alex could see no end in sight. She wanted to believe people when they said the stereotypical line "It will all be okay." She had tried so hard to believe them, she wanted to believe it, but she just couldn't. She didn't even know where to start. How could everything possibly be okay when she didn't even know what to do to make it okay?

'All I know for certain is that I don't want to keep doing this,' Alex shrugged. 'I don't know what I want to do, but I can't keep doing what I'm doing and expect to feel differently...it's madness.' She laughed bitterly, her laugh turning into sobs. How did I get so broken? Is there enough glue and sticky tape in the world to begin to put me back together? Her cup of pain was filled to the top, and no matter how many times she said "When" the pourer didn't stop. What would happen when the cup began to pour over? Was this it?

Her bones ached from sitting on the cold stone, from being stuck in the same position for hours while a battle went on in Alex's brain. They cried out for a decision to be made, for action. The only problem was Alex didn't know what action to take. She was still lost, and she longed for someone, anyone to show her the way. Almost any action would do now, she had lost the will to care. She was just sick of the inaction, sick of being stuck. Is that true? Am I truly willing to die just to escape this monotony? The thought gave her pause. Was her life truly worth so little to her?

No, surely she could think of at least one reason to live. Alex sat, the silence echoing in her ears...Well she didn't want her family to be sad. She was sure that they would have some sort of a reaction to her death. Okay, that's a start. But did she want to just live her life out of duty to her family? Alex buried her face in her hands. She didn't know. All she knew was that she needed a reason to live. Just something to hold onto.

Her head lifted from her knees and she looked up to the sky. The steady pitter patter was slowing. The rain, like her tears was drying up. She sighed and looked out over the drenched city. What a pitiful sight it was. What a pitiful sight am I she felt her lips jerking up, making a movement that felt foreign to her. Maybe there is hope for this broken mess after all.

Alex thought of her sister, and how, even though it was hard for her to express her feelings, Hayley had tried to be there, tried to show how much she cared for Alex. She hadn't wanted to admit it, but theirs was the relationship that mattered most to Alex. Her sister was the one she looked up to from a young age. There was something in a sibling bond that trumped the parent child relationship, perhaps due to the shared experience of parental craziness. And boy were their parents crazy. A giggle escaped Alex's lips as she thought of how her mum would be trying to cope with Alex's disappearance. There was a high probability that they didn't even notice she was gone. She was so independent now, and so withdrawn; they probably assumed she was in her room. They probably didn't even know what was going on. They probably didn't realise-

A sliver of light passed over her, irritating her tear swollen eyes. Alex stopped mid thought and raised her head, just in time to see the sun breaking through from its cloudy shackles. The clouds dispersed, so overwhelmed by the strength of the sun's regrouping and it shone with a vengeance, lighting the world below with its positivity. It was as if the light shone into Alex's very soul, recharging her depleted body. Somehow it felt as if everything was going to be okay. As if she could go on for at least a few moments more.

Alex stood, slowly flexing her joints, feeling the life in every cell of her body. She looked silently out across the town, glistening as the sun hit the moisture which covered it. She fancied herself glistening too, a new creation, renewed and ready to fight for her life. She turned her back on the cliff which had been her purgatory and headed to her new life.

It wasn't miraculously going to be easier all of a sudden. She wasn't just cured. It was going to be a long, difficult road and she could well end up here again. But sometimes it's not about being better. Sometimes it's just about hunkering down for the night and knowing that the sun will rise again in the morning.

Well this story has been such a journey and I want to thank all of you for joining in that journey. Thank you to all those who reviewed for your kind words and your investment in the story; you kept me writing when the plot lost its way.

I will be writing another fic soon (hopefully) but I just need to decide what to write next. I am thinking of possibly switching fandoms. If you have any suggestions of fandoms I can write for please review or message me to let me know.

One final word I'd like to leave you with. I hope that this story didn't hit too close to home for you; but the reality is that it would've for some of you. Depression is painful and sometimes downright unbearable; but it hurts less if you have someone to talk to. Please reach out to people whether it's friends, family, or a professional; this is not something that you can go through alone.

-Shell.