Better (Oneshot)

Original Title: If I Could Fix You, I Would Make You (Better)

Jacob is in love with Bella, but long before that Jessie was in love with Jacob.

Reviews are love!

Jessica Crowell is used to late night taps on her window. Tonight it's just her in the house, her brothers are gone on a camping trip and her older sister is supposed to be there, but went to her boyfriend's instead. So, she doesn't bother being quiet when she opens the window to let Jacob in.

The first thing that hits her is the distinct smell of alcohol that lingers on him. Jacob stumbles as he leans forward toward her. "God, Jake. You reek of booze." Jessie comments, as Jacob attempts to lift himself through her window. Her room is on the west side of the house, on the first floor, so it isn't normally hard for him to get inside. The only challenge tonight is his lack of sobriety, keeping them from successfully getting him through the window.

Jessie grabs him by the shoulders, pulling him through with all her strength, her knees collapsing under the pressure of his body weight. They end on the floor, Jacob splayed over her, laughing into her long hair. Jessica sighs, rolling him off of her and standing up. She helps him onto his feet as best she can and leads the stumbling drunk to her queen size bed.

He collapses in a heap on her mattress, groaning as he does, and Jessie fetches the blankets in an attempt to cover him, but he pushes them off complaining about the heat. It's April, already into spring, and he's dressed in only cut-off jeans, wearing no shirt (as he tends to do often these days). But, he's complaining about the heat. Jessie scoffs, feeling his burning skin. The first time, she'd thought he was running a fever, turns out he was just fine. Jacob's just warm.

She leaves the room only for a second to get a couple of bottles of water from the refrigerator. She returns in under a minute, sitting down beside him on the bed. Placing one bottle on her bedside table, she gives the other to him and watches him gulp down half of it, before handing it back to her.

"Why did you drink so much?" She chides, wiping the sweat from his forehead with the sleeve of her shirt. Jacob looks at her, eyes slightly glazed over, and he sighs. There's a false smile on his lips, bitter almost.

"I just-" he starts, looking at her with this emptiness that nearly breaks her, "-feel a little down is all, Jess." Down. He'd been feeling down a lot lately. It had to do with that girl that he liked, Isabella Swan. The Police Chief's daughter from Forks. And, he'd had plans to see her today. Apparently, it hadn't gone well.

In autumn of the last year the girl's boyfriend had left her, according to Jacob. She'd been a zombie for nearly six months, before she'd shown up at Jacob's door. And, Jacob tried to fix her, the way that he tries to fix all things that are broken. Jessie and Jacob had been close before that, inseparable even. But, she'd known about his crush on Bella Swan since she'd shown up in Washington. She'd heard about it almost non-stop since she'd come. Granted a lot less, while the girl had been seeing the Cullen guy, but after that Bella was all Jake talked about.

Jessica is so sick of Bella Swan and she hasn't even met her yet. Everybody (except maybe Jake) knew that the girl had used him as a kind of rebound. She hates her for that, because Jessie loves Jacob more than she loves herself. That's what makes it okay things to be like this, because if she didn't she would have gotten sick of this shit a long time ago.

"You should have called me," Jessie watches him as he runs his hands over his face. "I would have came and drank with you." She finishes, her hand rubbing his shoulder. Jacob laughs, right out laughs, as if she'd told him a joke. And, she tries to laugh along (though it comes out more like a scoff). "What?"

"Nothing," Jacob chuckles, leaning back against the wall, his head slightly against her shoulder, "I'm just wondering what we are. You and me." Jessica holds her breath.

"You drink with me, cook for me, clean up after me, always take care of me," He begins to list. He's nowhere near the number of things she actually does for him, even when drunk he knows that. For a long time now, he thought maybe she had feelings for him. She hid it well, most of the time, but sometimes he could see it. In the way her eyes light up when he calls her name. Or the way she lets him drape his arms around her, even when she won't let Quil or Embry touch her. Or the way she always saves him, whenever he feels like he's falling and she's right there to catch him. She's been doing it since his mother died. Sarah had been like a mother of her own, and when Rachel and Rebecca left them, Jessie was still right there. She was always there when he needed her, even it was killing her.

"I even let you stay over when you get shit-faced." She adds, "I guess I'm made for all-weather conditions." She laughs, but it's not the way it sounds when she really means it. Jacob frowns, out of genuine concern, "Doesn't it hurt?"

He doesn't miss that look on her face, like a child with their hand caught in the cookie jar, but it lasts only a split-second and then it's gone, like it was never there at all. Jessie smiles, but it doesn't meet her eyes, so he knows she's forcing it. "You must really have drank a lot, huh?" she changes the subject, but he nods, leaves the confrontation for another night. "I might have had a little too much."

Jessica agrees, eyebrows furrowing, false smile still on her pink lips, as she pushes him toward the pillows, "Just lie down, okay?"

Jacob nods in agreement, but he doesn't want to lay on the pillows. So, he flops face-first onto her sweatpant-clad lap. It makes her laugh, "Comfortable down there?" And, he nods, because he is. Jessica is always comfortable, always comforting.

"Just let me stay like this for a while." He says, and it makes Jessie frown, "Sure, Jake."

So she does, let's him lie there with his head in her lap (and her heart in his hand), until the thoughts running in her head become to loud and she has to say something (before everything comes spilling out in all the wrong ways and she ruins everything).

"Is this about, Bella?" She questions. Jacob doesn't want to talk about it, so he pretends that he's gone to sleep. Maybe if he doesn't answer, she'll let it go. She doesn't.

"You're not answering, so I guess it's true." Why does it have to be Bella? What's so great about her? What has she done? Why is she the one he wants? She was never there for him. She was using him. "Are you really going to be like this?"

Jacob closes his ears, closes his mind. He doesn't want to think about it. About Bella or Jessica, or how Bella hurts him, or how he hurts Jessie.

"Are you really going to show me this side of you?" Why because of her? Why do I have to fix you because of her?

"I'm sorry." Is all his says. It hurts more, if he thinks about it. He really is sorry. Sorry that it isn't her, but he would never specify that. That moment that he did, he'd lose her forever. And, Jacob can't take that. He can take anything, everything but that. He needed her.

Jessica thinks, about what she would do and about what she would say. She thinks hard.

Anger, and agony, and regret fill her and she stands up, knocking Jacob out of the way as she does and pouring the remainder of his bottled water on his face. Jacob shoots up in surprise, shakes himself awake. He's dripping in cool water and Jessica is standing there holding the empty bottle, looking conflicted.

"What's your problem?!" He barks, still confused by the sudden atmosphere change.

"My problem?!" Jessie begins, throwing the bottle to the floor. "Don't you think you're going too far? Do I have no feelings to you?!"

Jacob watches her shoulders shake, she looks a lot like a corner animal. She's losing herself and he can see that, feel it. Her eyes are wet with tears and that's his fault.

"Do I have to watch you fall apart? If you love Bella Swan, then go grab her! Why do I have to see this side of you, because of her?!"

Jacob sits on the edge of her bed, head in his hands, and listens to the sound of her breaking.

"How long do I have to stand by and watch you? How long do I have to wait for you?!"

Jessica closes her eyes, pushing away her imagination. She would never tell him, never say any of that to him. It's better if she keeps things all locked up. Even if Jacob knew about her feelings, it wouldn't change anything. So, she nods, running her fingers through his cropped hair and listening to his even breathing. She lets the tears fall, but swallows the sobs. Pretends that she isn't falling apart. "I wish that I could fix you, Jacob." Jessie whispers, praying that just being there is enough. Because she doesn't have anything else to give him, nothing but herself.

END