With beautifully paved gray and slate streets, tastefully placed ivy, a hopeful atmosphere, a seafood smell so faint as to be quaint instead of irritating, and the best university in all of Sylvarant, Palmacosta was objectively one of the best.

Rai hated it.

Even perched behind a thick curtain of ivy as he was, he couldn't wait to escape this city - this constant reminder of a past he'd done everything to distance himself from.

He knew Genis had been on edge when they'd arrived, too, but his brother hid it well, and for him the unease seemed to be tempered by a desire to see how things had changed, a sort of bittersweet homecoming. Rai wanted none of that - he wanted out.

Not that Palmacosta was precisely the same as it had been all those years ago. When they'd pulled in, he'd immediately felt it - what was the same, what was different…the overpowering smell of the docks, the ever-present prejudice against half-elves, those two things had been just like he remembered. Immediately, the number of glares their party had attracted had been so high that even the more oblivious human members had noticed - Lloyd in particular had been on the defensive, Rai focusing on trying to keep him from doing anything stupid.

Still, he'd also immediately noticed a new air about the city. The population had markedly gone up, for one thing. With the now-bustling streets, it felt like there was potential for even a half-elf like him to blend into them, if he hadn't been so obviously a traveler. It wasn't the same as he remembered it from the game, either - though really, none of the towns so far really had been. There was a certain air of confidence here, at a level which simply hadn't been present anywhere else, and nowhere near what he remembered from his childhood.

Izoold was far enough away from the Desians to have avoided the fear altogether, and Iselia had been temporarily sheltered from them; in Triet, however, he'd been able visibly verify the fear that had permeated everyday life, as the humans attempted to mind their own business and keep out of the spotlight.

Here, as well, every person was aware of their surroundings, taking in every person and highly attuned to the newcomers' presence as half-elves and potential threats. But in contrast to the people of Triet, they also didn't try to blend into the crowd or avoid eye contact. Far from it - there was a tangible sense of camaraderie among them, as if they felt they had to stand together against external threat.

Dorr. Of course.

A familiar sense of weariness settled in as he remembered Dorr - a cowardly traitor, giving into the blackmail of the Desians. But the people of Palmacosta believed in him, and probably always would. Not only that, but the whole Dorr situation had been so complicated. How could he make sure it had gone the same way it had in the game?

Whatever happened, he had a sneaking feeling they'd run into Magnius eventually, drawing them into the whole mess that way. And if they ever met Chocolat...

Well, on the bright side, at least this time Lloyd hadn't murdered her grandmother. That was some comfort, at least. This was the first time Rai had found something that was actually positive about his being here.

…Although, Magnius might just spin Genis as having indirectly caused her death, and Chocolat would probably blindly believe it, just as she had when the accusation had been against Lloyd. Rai knew that just like Lloyd, Genis would be overwrought with guilt. He'd even confessed to killing Marble in Iselia, despite that being so obviously false.

Rai felt a surge of hatred towards Chocolat that surprised even him in its intensity. Stupid overemotional little girl. First she was rude to the Desians, causing her mother to nearly get hanged and forcing Lloyd's party to save her; then, when Lloyd went to rescue her, she refused his help because a Desian claimed he'd murdered her grandmother. Even if she hadn't done any of that yet here, she didn't deserve their help.

Let her die.

Woah, are you sure you're okay there, brat?

I'm fine, Rai responded tensely.

Maybe you're just feeling a bit off after that boat? Akira offered.

Is my feeling murderous intent towards people really that new?

I guess it'd just… been a while, Akira said cautiously. I mean - I feel that way all the time. But you know I'm not exactly, ah...the paragon of stability. And you being a brat and all...I thought it was good when your thoughts started to become less volatile. I think it was Lloyd's influence on you.

Bitterness surged up at that, making the muscles in Rai's hands tighten involuntarily. Lloyd, he spat. What makes him think he can influence me?

Hold on, hold on, Akira said quickly. Seriously, what's wrong? Where's all this coming from?

Rai struggled to control himself. Maybe it's just how I am, ever thought about that? he flung back mutinously. Akira was silent for a few moments.

I guess I'll leave you alone, his past self muttered finally. Try not to kill anyone. Angsty brat.

Rai crossed his arms, leaned back on the well-crafted bench and lifted his eyes to the sky, not wanting to look at any of the passersby, familiar or not.

Maybe he should have gone with the others after all. But he couldn't shake the feeling that just by being there, he always caused events to go ever so slightly wrong...maybe if he just hung back, the story would go the way it was meant to.

That was probably just wishful thinking, but Rai was willing to at least give it a try at this point.

He shut his eyes, trying to enjoy the cool breeze and forget where he was.

Do you really think not going with them will help? Akira asked quietly, his presence reasserting itself. Rai started a bit; he hadn't expected Akira to be drawn out again quite this soon.

I don't know, he thought back. Worth a try, though.

Are you sure? I know that Aalissi girl didn't go with them, but what if it...backfires somehow?

What do you mean? Rai asked, even as he felt a wave of dread like there was ice water trickling down his back. He could think of several ways.

With our luck, the whole party will get killed by a pack of flying monkeys in tutus without us around, Akira said seriously, and Rai choked back a laugh. The muffled noise caused an elderly woman passing by to glance at him through the gaps in the ivy. Then her eyes widened and she looked at him again.

"Rai?" she asked. Rai sat up so fast he almost fell over.

"Sayo?" he responded incredulously. She was several years older, but it was indeed her. He stared for only a few more frozen moments before his face broke into a rare, genuine smile. "How is it possible you look even younger since I last saw you?" he asked teasingly.

"Oh, don't bother using your charms on an old woman like me, young man!" She put out her hands. "Now, come closer, my child, let me take a look at you." He stepped forward obligingly and reached out to touch her trembling fingers midway, watching as her sharp blue eyes focused on his face.

"Such a handsome boy," she said fondly, touching his cheek. She gave him a kind look and wiped the wetness off his cheeks gently. "Come now, sweet child. There's no need to be sad."

He swallowed. "I...I'm not. I'm just...I'm happy to see you again." His eyes flitted awkwardly away from hers for a moment, and in that same moment he noticed the way others were looking at the pair of them, whispering.

"You shouldn't talk to me outside like this, Sayo," he said. "They'll think badly of you for associating with someone like me."

"Nonsense!" Sayo's grip as she grabbed his hand and dragged him along with her was surprisingly strong, giving him a reminder he shouldn't have needed that this woman wasn't to be messed with, old or not. "You're practically my grandson. I don't care what those dim-witted fools think."

"Sayo…" he protested half-heartedly, but he knew she wouldn't listen. She'd always been this way - confident in her ideals, strong-willed, and it was, after all, something he liked about her…most of the time.

"If it makes you feel better, then come with me while I finish my errands, and we can talk," she told him in a tone that brooked no argument. "Surely you can spare a bit of time for an old friend?"

He felt his lips form into a smile without his direction - an organic, unprepared reaction. Even if this reunion was bittersweet, he couldn't help but be happy. Sayo had been the one person to understand him even after…

After…

His mind had froze in mid-remembrance, like something inside was telling him not to progress further, and Akira went dead silent again. Not a good sign.

"Rai?" Sayo asked, and it came to his attention then that his feet had rooted themselves to the spot. He forced them back into motion, shaking off the sudden feeling.

"Sorry, I just remembered something. This place brings back a lot of…memories…"

"Well, that's what you'd expect of your hometown!" Sayo chuckled, and shot him a mock glare. "Though I don't know why you were in such a hurry to get away."

Yes, you do know. Like she'd heard the thought, her eyes cut away again without waiting for an answer, and the conversation paused for several minutes while Sayo greeted vendors and picked up groceries. Almost all of the merchants shot Rai hostile glares - but thankfully, none recognized him, nor he them. Rai found himself praying that Sayo would hurry up, or sooner or later he'd run into someone who did know him - someone who would be less than friendly.

"Rai?"

His heart almost stopped before realized that it was only Genis, looking at him quizzically with the rest of the party not far behind. "What are you doing here?" his brother asked, then looked over at Sayo. His blue eyes widened marginally. "Grandma Sayo?"

She moved forward to hug Genis. "Why, you've grown so much! What's wrong, Genis, did you not expect to see me?"

We thought you might not be around anymore, Rai knew Genis was thinking, but his little brother stayed silent.

Raine bowed politely to the old woman. "Sayo. It's so good to see you again."

Colette, Lloyd and Kratos all looked puzzled, standing beside her, but they all inclined their heads politely. Sayo's sharp eyes swept efficiently over the group, lingering on the jewel at Colette's neck.

"My, are you the Chosen of Mana?" she said, and laughed a little, putting her hand on Colette's shoulder. "Good for you, dear. That must be hard." Colette looked stricken, but Sayo was already moving on, her knowing gaze coming back to Rai. "So this is why you're back, child. I should have known it would take nothing less than the Journey of Regeneration."

He rolled his eyes. "Yes, well. I might have come back to study at the university, too, you know."

"Oh, I doubt Raine here would have allowed that," Sayo said knowingly.

They chatted with Sayo a bit more before parting ways, Rai promising to meet with her again to catch up before he left. For a little while as they walked back towards the inn they'd checked into that morning, nobody spoke.

"Well," Genis said finally, "we got the Book of Regeneration."

"What?" Rai realized he sounded too shocked and modulated his voice. Did that mean they'd gotten here before the impostors this time? No, but surely something else would go wrong… "I…see," he continued. "That's good. So does that mean we know the locations of the other seals?"

"More or less," Raine confirmed. "It doesn't state them outright, but the passages make the majority of them fairly obvious. I mean to look back over the contents of the book tonight. At the least, it appears we should probably head to Asgard next."

Just like it happened in the game, right? Rai struggled to remember, and as far as he knew, that was the case. But we haven't met Sheena yet, he reminded himself. She had to show up eventually; she was trying to assassinate Colette, after all.

What if she succeeded?

He shoved the thought away. Kratos would make sure that didn't happen.

During the conversation, Lloyd had slipped into step next to Rai, and now he nudged Rai's shoulder. "Who was that old lady?" he asked softly, and Rai almost laughed at his conspiratorial tone when every single person in the party save Lloyd had superhuman hearing.

"She was someone I knew back when we used to live here," he said, and Lloyd's eyes widened.

"You and Genis and the Professor? You lived in Palmacosta?"

"I've told you that before, Lloyd," Genis said crossly from in front of them, and Lloyd rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.

"Oh. I guess I forgot."

"I don't think anyone's surprised," Rai noted, and Lloyd gave him a mock glare. Raine laughed lightly from ahead and even Kratos looked slightly amused.

"Okay, I'm going to go explore," Lloyd announced. "Anyone coming with me?"

Nobody spoke and Lloyd rolled his eyes. "Colette, come on," he said, and she stammered a little, but let herself be led away. Raine shook her head.

"Somebody should probably keep watch over them," she said, and gave Kratos a pointed look. For a moment she and the mercenary just stared each other down, and then Kratos gave in with a sigh, turning to follow the two teenagers.

"I guess that just leaves us," Genis said acidly. "Maybe we should reminisce about all the wonderful memories we have here."

"Genis," Raine hissed, and Rai knew without even looking that her eyes were on him. Genis quieted, and the ensuing silence felt heavy. Rai knew both his siblings were thinking about what had happened in the past, why they'd left this place.

How it had been all Rai's fault.

By the time the two of them got back to the inn, it was starting to get darker outside, the slowly deepening blackness reminding Colette of the reality that always lurked, waiting for her no matter how hard she tried to forget.

She'd been happy to have some time alone with Lloyd - well, really Kratos had been tagging along, but most of the time Colette hardly noticed him - but Lloyd had seemed sometimes distracted, like his mind was really somewhere else.

"Lloyd," she asked him now, and he stopped to look at her, letting Kratos slip past him into the inn. The familiar openness of his face sent a burst of warmth through her chest, even if she'd seen it a million times. Without having entered the building yet, and with the two of them standing here in the shadows, Colette could almost imagine they were back in Iselia, like this was one of those times they'd talked on Dirk's porch or behind the school building.

"What's up?" he asked, and she realized she'd just been staring.

"Umm…" She didn't really have anything to say, she just didn't want to go back and rejoin the others just yet. "Lloyd, you know you're my best friend, right?"

He looked startled, brown eyes widening a bit. "Of course. I'll always stand by you. Is there anything wrong?"

"No," she said, making her voice cheery. "No. Just…I'm really glad you came on this Journey with me. I used to think I didn't want you to come, but…I don't know if I would've been able to do this without you."

Lloyd laughed and stepped forward to muss her hair gently. "You dork. You're a strong person, Colette - you'd be able to do what you needed to either way. I'm happy to be your friend." He tucked her hair back behind her ears and let his hands rest on her shoulders, looking at her the same we he always had. The same Lloyd he'd always been.

She smiled back and Lloyd gave her shoulder one last squeeze before turning back towards the inn door. "All right…let's see how the others are doing."

When they walked in, the lobby was fairly crowded; Palmacosta was a decently popular tourist attraction after all, and none of their party members were anywhere in sight. They ascended to the rooms they'd checked into earlier and found the Professor poring over some books at the desk in her room. Genis was reclined on his bed, reading something of his own.

"Where's Rai?" Lloyd asked immediately, and Colette gave him a look that, to her annoyance, he didn't seem to notice.

"He went out," Raine said after a slightly too-long pause, looking up with an abstracted expression on her face. Maybe she'd just realized how dark it was getting, because she added suddenly, "Oh…how odd. He should be back by now…"

"I'll go look for him," Lloyd said.

"What if he's in the other room?" Colette suggested tentatively. Privately, she was pretty sure Rai was fine, but Lloyd seemed worried anyway. He walked right out without answering her, and by the time she had followed him he was on his way to the stairs.

"Not in the other room," he told her over his shoulder. "I'm going to go see if I can find him somewhere outside. I think I forgot something important. You should get some rest, Colette."

"Lloyd, wait, I'll - " she started, but he was already gone. No - Lloyd probably didn't want her to come with, not for this. Not now that his attention was on Rai.

Slowly, Colette walked back into the room.

Rai should have known better than to walk around this place too much. Especially near dark. But it was like there was something inside him that wanted to see someone from his past.

Wanted to be hated and castigated.

Wanted to argue and fight and scream and remember.

And so...here he was now. And here, too, was a human who Rai recognized despite the years between this meeting and the last. Probably the worst person he could have met, actually. Just his luck. Now that they were both standing here, Rai knew all too clearly that he hadn't really expected this to happen.

I should know better by now.

The blue-haired man surveyed Rai, the shock in his face quickly melting away into a mocking sneer, though there was apprehension there too. The nearby sounds of townspeople murmuring quietly in their homes seemed abnormally loud in the charged silence.

"Well, well," the newcomer said finally, his face darkening. His voice was rougher than Rai remembered it. "You've grown up to be quite the pretty boy, haven't you, half-elf?"

"I certainly can't say the same for you," Rai retorted disdainfully, keeping his stance relaxed even if he was suddenly insanely on-guard. "You've managed to get even uglier since you were a teenager. Your hair looks atrocious, did you get your blind sister to do it for you?" It was like his mouth was just moving on autopilot, not once stopping for input from his rationality.

In his mind, Akira whistled softly. Low blow, Rai.

Zane snarled angrily and lunged forward faster than Rai had anticipated, grabbing him roughly by the collar and getting up in his face. "You'll pay for that, you bastard," he growled. Rai smirked at him despite the fact that the hold made it difficult to breathe, not even bothering to twitch a finger.

"What, is that a sore spot for you?" he mocked. "Are you sure you want to fight me? A human like you would never stand a chance. Then or now."

"Looks like you're still just as disgusting as you were as a kid," Zane snapped, shaking him a little. "You tried to fucking kill me. Don't ever touch me again with that filthy magic of yours."

"Don't give me a reason and I won't have to," Rai retorted smoothly. "Just worry about yourself and Lena. No need to bother yourself too much about me."

"Stop saying her name with your filthy mouth," Zane snarled, his hold tightening on Rai's shirt and drawing the collar tighter around his neck. He shoved Rai back roughly against the red brick and leaned in threateningly, but there was a slight tremor in his voice. "You leave her alone, you hear me? If anything happens to her, I'll kill you. It's your fault she can't see anymore!"

"Shut up," Rai snapped suddenly, forcing Zane back several steps with a wave of raw mana and shoving off from the wall. "Stop deluding yourself. I was a kid who you and Lena and your other friends delighted in tormenting. I was the victim. Understand?"

Rai, I really think you should leave, Akira started, but his voice sounded far away. Rai barely registered the warning, his angry gaze fixed on the person in front of him.

Zane was looking at him with disgust and shock in his blue eyes, dropping the threatening stance. "Are you even human?" he whispered. Rai's ears strained to make out the words. "Don't you feel bad about what happened, even a little bit?"

"You're right - I'm not human. And I have no reason for regret," Rai said coldly. "I did nothing wrong."

The man took another step back, staring at Rai now like he was looking at him for the first time. "You really are a monster," he said, and something about the statement resonated, made Rai feel like he'd stepped into the cold ocean. There was nothing but resignation in Zane's voice, no mockery or sarcasm left - somehow that was worse than the hate. "All this time I've been wanting to meet you again, so I could get some closure, so I could at least feel like you regretted what happened. And yet it hasn't affected you at all. You don't even care."

Rai said nothing, just stared back at him flatly. His heart seemed to be constricting in his chest as old feelings tried to come back, feelings that his rational voice pushed back with all the strength it could muster. He'd already resolved this situation, already figured out that there had been no other course of action, figured out that there was no point in beating himself up over it. And yet suddenly W was stirring deep inside, shaking, crying. Rai's fists clenched until he could barely feel his hands anymore. The cold was flooding away, replacing itself with fire that threatened to consume him.

"I don't see you apologizing for what you did to me," he muttered finally. Zane shook his head.

"I was wrong for saying cruel things to you," he admitted after a long pause, to Rai's shock. "But what you did to us in return far outweighed anything I ever did to you."

"You tried to hurt me many times," Rai snapped, suddenly furious. "The fact that you usually weren't successful was due to my magical prowess, not to your restraint. Don't even try to pretend, you fucking hypocrite. I was only five. If I'm a monster, so are you."

Zane only shook his head, and there was mingled pain and anger in his eyes. "Have your memories been mixed up, half-elf?" he murmured. He looked Rai straight in the eye. "She loved you, you know. Lena did."

Panic permeated everything, like a black haze that made Rai dizzy, chasing even the fire away. "You're lying," he said fast, but there was dread welling up inside. He felt his fingers shaking more and clenched them into fists again.

"She held us back, told us you weren't so bad, even though we'd seen it, seen what a little monster you were," Zane spat. "Torturing and killing animals in your free time with that blasted magic. You even tried to kill your own - "

"SHUT UP!" Rai screamed, and his hands clamped tight over his ears. He felt out of control, and he was pretty sure there were tears running down his face but he lacked the mental bandwidth to care. The voices had mingled together haphazardly, and somewhere in the back of his mind he had a feeling that W made up most of it, its screaming and sobbing so loud that he felt like ripping his ears out, only that wouldn't help because it was all in his own mind. As he always did when the other voices swelled up like this, Akira had gone silent, almost like he'd never existed, and that left another empty hole in Rai's mind, left him feeling even more cold and alone and unstable and afraid, and suddenly his emotions surged and he felt a sudden urge to end Zane, to stop him saying all these terrible lies -

His mana was gathering in his fingertips, he'd nearly mustered up enough to incinerate the man, when W burst back in screaming. NO, NO! You can't! Rai, you can't kill him! And suddenly the heat that had saved him for a few seconds was gone, the cold despair and fear back like a blanket over his senses, and Rai collapsed to his knees, gasping for breath. He couldn't make out Zane's expression anymore, couldn't and didn't want to see the hate and disdain in his face, couldn't and didn't want to think about Lena and how she was now, how he'd made her.

And then suddenly someone else was there, standing between them, and the overwhelming presence of Zane was pushed away.

Rai shook uncontrollably, and his mind screamed, torn and chaotic, the voices struggling to make themselves heard.

Lloyd faced the man with a resolve he didn't really feel, his hands placed threateningly on his swords. He was all too aware of Rai crumpled on the ground behind him, shaking and with his head in his hands like it physically hurt, but Lloyd couldn't think about that too hard right now - he had to take care of the threat first.

The person in front of him was evidently human, but he had electric blue hair and pale eyes. The gaze he still had fixed on Rai was filled with hate so deep it was like he wanted to kill him on the spot. It put Lloyd on edge, ready to defend at a moment's notice.

"What business do you have with my friend?" Lloyd demanded firmly but diplomatically, and the man's attention snapped onto him with a focused intensity. Lloyd refused to flinch back, meeting his gaze squarely.

"Your friend?!" the man breathed incredulously. "Do you even know the things he's done? This bastard - "

"I don't care," Lloyd interrupted, even though his heart was suddenly beating hard and fast and he felt sick to his stomach as his mind kicked into overdrive. What had Rai done, what was his relationship with this man to make him react this way? No - there was no point in speculating about it now. "I'm sorry if Rai has done something to you in the past," he managed. "I sincerely apologize to you. But Rai is my friend, and I can't let you keep hurting him like this. Please leave."

The man stared at him for a few long seconds, mingled shock and anger and maybe even respect battling in his expressive eyes. Then he threw up his hands. "I'm done with this," he muttered. "If you want to stand up for that monster, be my guest. Just do me a favor and ask him about what he's really like. Then maybe you'll understand." He turned and stormed away, though he cast an unreadable glance back at Rai's crumpled form as he left.

As soon as he was sure the threat had gone, Lloyd whirled around and dropped to his knees next to Rai. The half-elf was still shaking violently, staring unseeingly somewhere near Lloyd's stomach. Lloyd grabbed him by the shoulders and tried to hoist him up, but Rai crumpled again with a cry of pain and Lloyd realized that one of his feet was injured, the ankle mottled and swollen, toes pointed at a jarring angle. He helped Rai up, more carefully this time, and pushed him down on a nearby bench.

Then he put his arms around him and held him until he stopped shaking.

After Rai had finally calmed a bit, though he wouldn't elaborate on what the earlier confrontation had really been about, Lloyd knelt and took Rai's injured foot gently in his hands, glancing up at the half-elf's face to gauge his reaction. Rai's features were tight with pain.

"I'm going to try and set this back into place," Lloyd told him. "Brace yourself."

Rai nodded and closed his eyes. Lloyd looked back down and then straightened the ankle bone in one quick motion with a sickening pop, reminiscent of what he'd done in the Triet Ruins. Rai made a noise of discomfort that was probably entirely involuntary, and when Lloyd glanced up again, concerned, the half-elf's face had gone white.

"Are you okay?"

Rai said nothing, but after a few moments his eyelids fluttered open again, though his gaze was unfocused. To Lloyd's shock, there were tears spilling down his cheeks again. Something must really be wrong. Rai had never cried over an injury before. Whatever had happened earlier must have been major, major enough that it was still affecting him.

"Rai - " he started, not knowing quite what to say. Quickly, he bound Rai's foot haphazardly and then moved to sit next to him, bracing a hand on the bench and leaning close before hesitating. Rai wasn't exactly crying - he sat there with a blank expression, and yet water slid continually down his face. It was that weird expression again, the one that had made Lloyd want to know more in the first place.

After a few moments, Lloyd reached out and wiped the tears carefully, acting entirely on instinct. Rai still wouldn't look at him, but he bit his lip hard.

"What's wrong?" Lloyd asked softly. No response, just a shuddering breath. "Rai?" he continued. "Can you hear me?"

Finally the other boy turned to meet his eyes, his lashes wet. "Lloyd..." he murmured, like he'd just remembered he wasn't alone, that the world existed. "Lloyd, you can't tell Raine or Genis about this. Promise me." He obviously didn't remember that he'd already said this twice before.

"What happened?" Lloyd asked, swallowing at the implications of this. "You know that man from somewhere, don't you? Did he say something? Come on, talk to me," he pleaded.

Rai shook his head, eyes shutting briefly. "I...I," he seemed to change what he was saying, "Lloyd - do you think I'm a monster?"

"Of course not," Lloyd responded instantly. He felt irritation seep into his words as he asked, "Is this because of what that guy said?"

That question went ignored. Instead Rai said softly, "How could I blind a girl who'd never laid a hand on me, if I'm not a monster?"

Lloyd stared at him. Opened his mouth and closed it again. Then he made up his mind, pushing the morbid curiosity to the side. "There's more to that than you're telling me," he said firmly. "Whatever you did, there was a reason for it. You're not perfect, but just the fact that you feel this bad right now, the fact that you're asking me this question, tells me you're not a monster."

The words stopped for a moment and the next ones came out more tenderly than he knew how to handle. "You're just a boy who's been wronged by the world and who overthinks things way too much," he said with raw honesty. Gently, he reached out again and his fingers skimmed lightly across Rai's face, turning it to face him. He wiped away another tear with the pad of his thumb, leaving a damp trail. "You're not a bad person, Rai. I don't know what standards you're using to judge yourself, but take it from me. You think more about your every action than most people would ever dream of. I think that's really amazing. I - I think you're really amazing."

Rai looked back at him with an intensity that burned straight into Lloyd and made him hyperaware of his fingers on the half-elf's cheek, of how close they were sitting. There was a deep panic, a conflict in Rai's eyes that Lloyd didn't know how to describe, and his mouth was trembling slightly.

"Lloyd - I - " he started to say. The voice sounded so little like Rai, because Rai was always so sure of himself, and then it cracked and faded away. Lloyd reached out automatically with his other hand like some unknown inside him was making him do it, and he held Rai's face, stroked his hair and cupped his ears, because it felt like without that touch Rai would somehow float away, would fall apart. A fierce, protective pain stabbed in his chest. He wanted to pull Rai in and shield him from the world, keep him safe so that he wouldn't have to hurt, keep him safe from himself, but he didn't know how and hated that.

Lloyd realized suddenly that he didn't care whether Rai had done terrible things, whether maybe Rai really had wronged that man from earlier and whatever he'd said had been justified, because nothing justified making Rai like this, breaking him down piece by piece until his carefully constructed composure trickled away.

He just looked for a few long moments, hesitating, taking in the pain and the vulnerability and the fear in those eyes. Tasted his own helplessness, how powerless he was to do anything. Then he did what felt right and leaned in and kissed Rai gently, trying to pour everything he felt that couldn't be put into words into just that.

When he pulled back slightly a few moments later, he rested his forehead against Rai's. He could taste salt in his mouth.

"Rai," he said softly, not even sure why he was saying it, just knowing that he wanted to get through to his friend, some way, somehow. "Rai. ...Rai."

The half-elf's fingers curled into the back of Lloyd's jacket and his still-wet eyes were half-lidded, angled down towards Lloyd's mouth. One of his ears twitched slightly as Lloyd said his name for the third time and Lloyd shifted his hand from Rai's hair to touch it gently, sliding his hand down the curve of Rai's long ear down to his neck. The ear moved again and Lloyd smiled a little despite himself, pulling Rai into a tight hug and resting his head lightly on the other's shoulder. With his whole body pressed intimately against Rai he could feel the heat from his body, the restless mana against his skin.

"Don't think anymore, Rai," Lloyd murmured. "Forget about it."

Rai said nothing, but his fists tightened their hold on Lloyd's shirt. Impulsively, Lloyd pressed his lips to the side of his neck gently and Rai sighed so softly he barely heard it.

They stayed like that for a long time, and then Rai had gone still, his breaths slow and even and his hands limp. Lloyd held him gently by the shoulders so he could move back ever so slightly to look into his face. Sure enough, his friend was asleep, exhausted by his ordeal.

Lloyd looked at him blankly for a few more moments, then shook himself out of the daze he'd been in. He hoisted Rai up onto his back with some difficulty, propping his head against his shoulder, and started on the slow trek back to the inn.

As he went, he tried hard not to think at all.

A/N: So that happened.

Guys I wasn't even supposed to post for another month like seriously. And then for some reason I write this monster chapter.

I'm just going to go back to doing final projects now.

Oh, also, thanks for the awesome comments last time, Sporky. Maybe Rai should trust Lloyd's instincts on Aalissi more, hmm. Also a friend from Mizuho just might show up very soon, so there's that.

Maybe tell me what you guys think. And how you want to the aftermath of this to go. Uh, if you want.

Be nice, I'm a delicate flower.

kthanksbye