"And that's the story." Robin sat across from a teenaged Ellie Stinson, having just finished telling her a drastically shortened version of everything that had happened from the moment she had met Barney to the moment she had married him.

"But then what?" The girl asked. She was aware that Robin was not her biological mother, and yet over the years she had come to think of her as if she was. Ellie's actual mother, whom Barney had once referred to as number thirty-one, had not seen her since the day of her birth. She had been young when it had all happened, still in college. She and Barney had agreed to give their child up for adoption, neither of them having felt ready for the commitment.

And yet, miraculously, when he had held Ellie for the very first time, everything changed. He had decided, against all odds, to keep her.

To Robin's surprise, she had never had any problem bonding with Ellie. The two of them had grown extremely close over the years. She liked things the way they were, feeling as close to being a mother as she ever could, or would want to be.

"What do you mean?" She responded.

"Well, I know you two got married, but then what happened? I know that dad had me with someone else, and I also know he wouldn't have cheated on you, especially while you were married. A lot must've happened after…" her voice trailed off, noticing the look in Robin's eyes.

She sighed, not wanting to relive the years she had spent so isolated and without Barney. "We um, got divorced for a while. That's when he had you. We got back together a little while after that."

Robin hated thinking back to those years she spent alone. Even when she returned to NYC it had felt too differently to call home. Her old friends had moved on, and even though they met every once and a while, "the gang" became one of the last things she wanted to be a part of. She couldn't imagine herself sitting at that old booth, across from Barney, with all of them, pretending to have preserved something that had been lost so long ago. They had grown up. They had grown apart. And New York was just not the same anymore.

The days had seemed to drag on longer than she could bear. Things had been so different when she was first married. Those days, in her memory, were a blur, but she could remember having been happy. What made it worse was returning briefly, only to find out he had had a baby. In the end, supposedly the only thing that could make him truly happy was the one the she would never have been able to give him. He had meant so much to her, he even made her want things she hadn't wanted with anyone else, but at that point she came to believe that she wasn't enough for him.

With all the empty hours, she began thinking more and more how things might've ended up had she settled down with Ted. It was never something she wanted, but it occurred to her that maybe she'd have been better off. She could've had the life every other woman dreamed about, and maybe it could've eventually made her happier than she was alone.

Ted had always been a safe bet. She never would have had the same doubts that she had about Barney. From the very first day she met him, Ted had been ready to get married. And even the night before her wedding to Barney, he had been running away. It was what made their relationship so unstable. One commitment-phobe made things difficult enough, but two made things impossible. That was the way that it seemed.

And she had always trusted Ted. While Barney had lied to her at every turn, he had been reliable. She didn't have to worry with him. And even if she did, her feelings towards him had never been strong enough for him to ever hurt her the way Barney once did.

…

Robin remembered, about a month before she and Barney had gotten engaged for the second time, receiving a call.

"Hey. Robin, um, I know it's been a while, but I saw Ted earlier and he mentioned that you were back in New York. I was just wondering if you wanted to…" Barney's voice trailed off.

"Sure." She replied quietly, glad to hear his voice after what felt like forever, and yet grieved to find herself back to the awkwardness that hung between her and Barney. After everything they had, nothing hurt more than feeling like nothing more than a stranger to him. She wondered if, in the end, she really was just another number.

They met about an hour later at MacLarens's, sitting down in what used to be their regular booth and ordering two scotch on the rocks. Neither spoke at first.

"So, what did you want to talk about?" Robin asked, breaking the silence.

"I don't know. I guess I just wanted to see you. Things haven't been so great with me lately."

"Did something happen?" She asked with genuine concern.

He shook his head. "It's just that every day I feel a little bit more… broken. We both came so far before, and now I'm back where I started. The only difference is that I can't convince myself that I'm happy. I haven't been happy for a long time." Barney answered her with more honesty than he had meant to. He was always truthful with her, as he had vowed to be, but it was still so rare for him to allow those kinds of emotions to come pouring out.

"What about Ellie?" Robin asked, despite how much it stung to so much as think about his daughter.

He smiled, "She's great. She keeps me up at night, but I love her."

"I'm really happy for you." Robin forced a smile, but her slight dishonesty was all too apparent.

"Thanks." He said. "And um, how have you been?"

"Okay I guess. Things have been a little rough but, I'm fine." She lied.

"You don't have to lie to me, Robin, I know you. Remember?" He hated how closed-up she had become with him. It had taken years for her to allow her emotions to come through, even with him. Now it was like they were right back at square one. "I'm sorry that things have been hard on you lately, and I'm sorry that I haven't been there." Barney added more warmly. He couldn't stand seeing her like this.

"I don't expect you to be."

"But I want to be."

"It's fine." Since he had last seen her, she had grown colder than he ever believed to be possible. She wasn't the old Robin, despite how much she tried to be. She wasn't just independent anymore, she was isolated. At some point she had changed from a strong person, who rarely showed emotion, to one who refused to show any at all. She hadn't only grown distant in a physical sense, but an emotional one as well.

"No, it's not." He answered quickly, remembering what Ted had once told him, that whenever Robin said something was "fine" or "nothing", it meant that it really did matter to her, although it was something he had already known. "Why do we never talk anymore?"

"We did get a divorce."

"Yeah we got a divorce. That doesn't mean I just didn't want to see you ever again, because every day that I don't talk to you, it just sucks."

Robin looked at him for a moment. She had never seen him like this. Sure, he had been broken before, but not like this. It was never anything he had so much trouble hiding. He had changed just as much as she had, and just as tragically. "I'm sorry."

Barney had tried to revert back to his old self, but the emptiness that he used to be able to escape with so much ease had become too hard to ignore. Once he had had his taste of happiness, once he knew what it felt like to really love and be loved, he would never be able to really go back to his previous self.

"Why are you sorry?" He asked dismissively, looking away and taking a swig of his drink.

"I let things become so weird between us."

Barney met her gaze. "So did I. I'm sorry."

The two of them continued talking for a while, and the awkwardness and distance between them, slowly but surely, began to fade. At the end of the evening, Robin went to hail a cab, but was stopped.

"Not so fast Scherbatksy," He smiled, "I have a present for you."

"We agreed we'd stop hooking up after you-"

He laughed, "not that, unless-"

She shook her head, rolling her eyes.

"Okay, okay. Just come with me."

They split a cab back to his apartment. As she set foot in their old apartment, for what felt like the first time in forever, Robin could feel a tear threatening to fall down her cheek. She had grown more and more sentimental as the days went by, although she had learned to hide it better than before. But in all the time she spent without company, her will to stay strong wavered and faded into nothing more than a piece of her former self.

While the environment alone would have been enough to remind her of the feelings she had been working so hard to bury, what was waiting for her within the apartment certainly did the trick.

"Barney-" Robin stopped in her tracks, speechless. Sitting obediently before her were five dogs that closely resembled the ones she had had when they were only beginning their friendship.

Barney looked at her with a goofy smile, "I know how much you always missed having your dogs. I still remember how sad you were the day you gave them away."

They could both remember the day so vividly. He had held her hand, squeezing it supportively. At the time she had been puzzled by his compassion towards her, but now it made perfect sense. In the years that followed, she was one of the few people who never failed to see that side of him.

Robin returned his smile, stepping forward to hug him and whispering a "thank you". Tears began to well up in her eyes as she pulled away.

"You didn't have to do this you know." She said as she prepared to leave, although she was happy that he did.

"I wanted to. You know, just because we're not together anymore, doesn't mean I don't care about you." He said with the sincerity in his voice that only came out when he spoke to her.

…

Robin hated how, over time, she had become more and more of a Ted when it came to all the universe stuff. And yet, as she looked back, she realized it all made sense, the way the events all fit together to bring her to where she was now. The dogs that he had given her that day were a small part of why she ran back to him. She had pulled her lips away from Ted's to look down at them and realize that maybe she still had one real shot at happiness left, and that it wasn't with Ted.

She remembered sitting on the couch, the morning after their second engagement, still slightly disoriented from the night before. It had only begun to sink in that she had gotten engaged to the second time to the same man as before. The engagement ring made no difference, as it was wrapped around the finger next to the one with a wedding ring, both of which she had been wearing the entire time they were apart.

Barney had walked in, sitting down beside her. Their thighs were pressed together, neither of them having to worry about keeping distance anymore. She remembered feeling comforted by the familiarity of it all, the silky material of his suit brushing against her arm, his warm hand resting on her thigh, and the surroundings, which may have seemed cold to anyone else, but to her, were home.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Ellie's sweet voice. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-".

"It's fine." Robin smiled, really meaning it this time. "Everything is okay now. More than okay."

Ellie smiled back at her, "Things are really pretty great."

"They really are." She took a deep breath, surprised at how okay she felt having just dove straight into the memories she had spent so many years in avoidance of. She had come to terms with the past, and all the heartbreak and loneliness and doubts that came with it, because it brought her to where she was today. And there wasn't a place that she would rather be.

"Look, I know the story was messy and everything, but what I figured out, somewhere in that time when he and I weren't together, is that your father always came through for me. He came through for me like no one else did, and like he did for no one else. Our story isn't perfect, but I'm glad things turned out the way they did because," Robin looked past Ellie, catching a glimpse of Barney sneaking a glance in from the hallway, realizing he must have heard their entire conversation. She smiled. "He's awesome."