Sam's POV Chapter 2 That I Didn't Know Was Coming ~ Courtesy of 'Meggin Lane' with her idea of a small part of Sam's POV, and then I decided I wanted to do another short chapter entitling the whole of Sam's point of view, from about halfway through Sonny and Dean's conversation. Thank you so much for the idea! She also wrote a small piece for it, and that will be in stars (**) to credit her. All her words, not edited at all. Hope you enjoy!

*Sam had just come in from his search of the barn, he was about to call out to Dean what he'd found but as the outer door snicked quietly behind him he heard his brother's voice coming from Sonny's office and it sounded...troubled. Sam knew every tone and nuance Dean's voice could make and all of the meanings behind those sounds. Dean was a man of few words and Sam had learned long ago that it wasn't so much what Dean said but the way he said it that conveyed the true meaning. And right now the sound Dean was making was his 'about to break down' voice. The younger Winchester's instincts went on full alert and he crept silently up to the slightly open door and listened for anything that might be danger happening to Dean but instead he heard...*

"So when did it go missing in action?" Sonny asked with a frown in his voice.

Sam tried to look into the small crack that the door was still open, and saw Dean try to smile, but it was empty and lost and held no hint of joy from what he was about to say.

"I dropped it in the trash the day I lost faith in Sam, in God, and all of the above," Dean stated, and immediately looked away from Sonny and the door, so Sam couldn't see his face.

Blinking at unexpected wetness in his eyes, Sam tried to focus on what Dean carried on to say, attempting not to feel a distinct crushing pain in his chest at his brothers words - the day I lost faith in Sam.

He realised what they were talking about, too. The Samulet. That God-worthy special amulet that a young Sam had given to Dean one Christmas morning when their father hadn't bothered to turn up. And how years later, Dean disposed of it in the way anyone would drop a dirty tissue in the bin. Like it was too horrible to keep. Unclean. Like Sam.

"And now, every single freaking day from then, I regret that moment," the elder Winchester continued, sounding about to lose it and break down. Sam frowned, blinking to try and focus his vision. Dean regretted that? Throwing away the amulet? He still thought about it every day? It was more than Sam could bear to hope for.

"Because of course I believe in Sammy. I always do, whatever happens. But since I threw that... it... away, it's like something's broken between us. Sam doesn't think I believe in him, or trust him, sometimes, any more. I see it in his eyes. A thousand apologies." Sam's mouth was open in shock at Dean's words as he heard his brother subtly sniff. "I should be the one apologising, and I would, if I thought it would change anything," Dean finished, dropping his head as though exhausted.

It was silent in the room for a minute, and then Sam caught Sonny moving out of the corner of his vision, and watched. He saw the farm owner, and apparently one of Dean's best father figures from his past, move from the desk and over to the older Winchester.

"Dean," Sonny started, but the hunter didn't even look up, seeming unable to look at someone he so admired shamefully in the eye. Sonny continued and Sam listened quietly, "I don't know about you and Sam's relationship at the moment, or, hell, since your childhood, but I can promise you this: do you know what I can see in Sam's eyes every time he looks at you?"

From outside the door, Sam saw Dean shrug and still not look up, refusing to admit to weakness or comfort. Waiting for Sonny to complete his sentence, Sam wondered what the man did see when he looked at his brother.

"All I see is complete and utter faith in his big brother."

Tears threatened at Sam's eyes as he heard the truth in the old, experienced, man's voice. He saw Dean even look up for a trace of a lie, but found none, because he knew it was true too. He dropped his head again just as Sam did at the same time, outside the room, having heard and would forever keep in his heart the truthful words of a man who really barely knew them now, but could sum up that way Sam saw his big brother.

Sonny and Dean just stood for a minute, finally taking a break from their work or worries at the moment. Sonny smiled slightly as he watched Dean, and that made Sam smile a little through his tearful expression.

He just stood outside the room for a moment, too, just taking in how much Dean meant to him, because when someone else observes the Winchesters, it always means so much more to hear how much they were to each other. It was amazing.

"My big brother... there's nothing I wouldn't do for you."

Sam smiled. After all these years, those words he spoke when he first found out Dean was actually going to hell for him still stood, with as much truth as was in Sonny's voice. Forever.