I do not own or claim to own Doctor Who or its characters.

This story will contain mature subjects and language, readers discretion is advised.

I will not typically make Author's notes unless the chapter warrants one, so please make sure to remember to vote for this story. This helps me know that someone out there is enjoying my work, and if the mood strikes you please leave me a comment/review of your thoughts on the chapter you read. :)

The Doctor's timeline is ever-changing so I am doing my best to keep true to the character and the timeline itself. This takes places after "The planet of the Ood" in the 10th Doctor's timeline. This will also take place after "The day of the Doctor," for the 11th Doctor, but before "The Time of the Doctor."
Since we do not know when the 10th Doctor met the 11th Doctor in his timeline (albeit it was after Rose had departed.) So I am playing it by ear for that part.

Last note, this story has two video trailers on YouTube. The links are located in my profile. Feel free to take a look.

Thank you.

Somebody to Die For

oOo
Prologue
oOo

Clara Oswin ... The impossible girl. The Doctor's impossible girl.

Well it is what he calls me, or has called me, or maybe it was just a dream? It is so hard to tell what is real and what isn't real sometimes. It feels like I have lived a thousand lives, thousands of memories all imprinted into my mind. Some of the memories came to me as soon as I entered the Doctor's time stream, while others come to me in dreams.

At other times it's almost like when you forget something and you know you are forgetting something, but for the life of you, you cannot remember what it is. Then suddenly, it hits you, like a ton of bricks, and you remember.

I have asked the Doctor why some of these memories are coming to me now. He says it's because it hasn't happened yet, or it's happening at this very moment. That never did make much sense to me, but then again, many things the Doctor says don't always make sense ... at least not right away.

-"Time is not a straight line, Clara. It hops around; it is like a big ball of timey wimey."

-"Timey wimey? Really Doctor, now you are just talking gibberish."

-"Blame my last regeneration for that one."

As much as that explanation made little sense to me, it has helped make me feel better. I don't think I am going mad after all.

I have memories, so many memories of copies of me saving the Doctor. Different faces of his, but they are all the same man. My Doctor.

When I ask him if he remembers me at all, he says no. He only knows me as I am now. I think he says that because he worries about me. I worry about me. I sometimes wonder if I am the real thing or just another copy and I will suffer from the same fate all my other-selves have.

I clearly remember the Doctor mentioning meeting me in the Victorian era. I was a governess. I know this because I remember. I recall meeting and saving my Doctor. I met him in the future as well, where I saved him again. But those two times he was as he is now, with the face that I have come to know and love.

I often wonder why he refuses to talk about all the other times I have saved him, when he was his past-self. That is usually when a familiar whisper can be heard in my head. I am not sure where it comes from but I can clearly hear the words resonate through my brain.

The Man Who Forgets.

The Doctor, this Doctor, does not want to remember.

But I wish he would ... It would help make me see that this is real, that all this is not just a dream that these things really did happen.

I wasn't always this doubtful though. I've only been questioning everything for the last month. I never doubted any of my memories until recently, when I had the most powerful flashback yet of another me, of another life. A memory that left me breathless and heartbroken. A fleeting thought that I simply couldn't go on without him.

It just hurts too much to think about it.

This is the story of how I saved, loved and lost the tenth Doctor.

My Doctor.

oOo

Chapter One
An old life
oOo

"What do you think of this one?" Lara held a blue sweater up to her full-frame. "Clara?"

"Hmmm?" I turned to my best friend, glared at me. I knew that look ... I got that look all too often from people when I was supposed to be paying attention but I wasn't.

"I asked you three times what you thought of this top." She scolded.

"Oh, yeah, it's nice." I shrugged, still not fully paying attention.

She thrust the shirt back onto the shelf with an annoyed sigh. "I don't know why I bother bringing you shopping with me, you never pay attention." Lara pouted as she slowly strolled away to the next display.

"Sorry." I mumbled.

I never meant to be such an annoyance, but I seemed to always make people upset. I couldn't help it. Since I was a child I've had this feeling ... like I was waiting for something. It was like I was drifting through space and I was plunging down into an endless fall.

It's not that I didn't care, I was very passionate about several things, and one of those things was stargazing. In fact, I loved it so much that I was studying astronomy at the University. But it just felt like there was something missing, like I needed to do something but I couldn't quite recall what it was and right now it was to help my best friend shop.

I quickly hurried to catch up to Lara, who was now several aisles down. She held up a red jacket and when I stopped next to her she set it against my body. "Try this on; red always looks hot on you."

I slipped the pretty red coat on while Lara turned to me and adjusted the collar. I watched her hands work effectively. "I didn't mean to snap at you, Clara, I'm sorry." She apologized sincerely.

Looking up to her pretty, round face I forced a bright smile.

"It's alright, I know I can be annoying, I zone out ..." I tried to keep the large smirk plastered on my face, but as I spoke the words faltered and my face fell a bit.

"I know." She gave me a sympathetic smile. "Are you still having trouble sleeping?"

I nodded, and tried to listen to Lara, who launched into a long sermon of all the advice she had collected about insomnia since I had last told her I hadn't slept well in months. Lara had been my friend since elementary school, we had done everything together. From going to our first dance to consoling each other after our first heartbreak. Lara knew everything about me, and she understood me – sort of. She tried hard to understand what I felt, but I knew she didn't.

No one ever did.

I tried to concentrate on the many tips Lara was rambling off, but out of the corner of my eye I caught something moving, fast. I turned my head towards the large display window and noticed a very tall, lank man in a long brown coat running by. My heart rate abruptly picked up at the sight of him. I didn't know what he was running from, but judging by the expression on his face, whatever it was, it was important.

I furrowed my brow as I stared at the stranger, suddenly feeling something deep inside me stir, like I knew this man and I needed to follow him. No, not a need, it was deeper than that, it was an urge, almost like a deep instinct buried inside me.

The man soon disappeared from viewed.

I glanced back at Lara who was still talking while sorting through the large rack. I looked back at the window and took a step away from my friend, moving towards the large glass. Who was that man? When I reached the window, I pressed my face against it, trying to get another look at him.

The sidewalk was filled with people, bustling by, going to work or just out shopping like I was, but no stranger in a long brown coat.

With a sigh, I decided to get back to Lara before she noticed I had wandered off and totally lose it with me. Even though my best friend was extremely tolerant with me, she also had limits, and I didn't want to spend the next week trying to make it up to her. But as I started to turn away, I saw him again. My heart sped up and my breath caught in my throat.

This time though he wasn't running, he was looking around, his head swiveled left and right, his eyes scanning the area as if he was desperately trying to find someone or something. My hands went to the window and I pushed my face against the glass, my sweaty palms pressed against the windows, my breath fogged up the glass as I stared in awe. I had to get a better look at him.

A few seconds later he walked by and I knew I had to get closer, but before I pulled away from the window I noticed another man. I couldn't understand why this other man had caught my attention but as I locked eyes on him, I noticed he was following the first man, close, way too close.

There was no way I could explain what happened next, except that something inside me told me to run. Every fiber in my body was screaming at me to run out there and save the man in the brown jacket. Without a second thought, I listened to my instincts and took off running to the door, which was only a few steps away from the window.

I burst through the doors and the shrill sound of an alarm started to buzz, but I ignored the annoying noise along with the shouts coming from behind me. I quickly looked to my left and spotted both men, the tall man had stopped near the edge of the sidewalk, seeming to be considering which way to go next. The other man was dressed in dark clothing which seemed to belong in the Victorian era. He stood behind the man with the brown jacket.

I quickly made an assessment of the situation and I realized that he was getting ready to push him; the man with the dark clothes leaned back slightly and got ready to shove the other man right out into London's busy road. I spurred into action and ran towards them just as the tall, lank man was pushed. He stumbled forward, losing his footing and fell right into the path of a speeding city bus.

I ran with everything I had inside me, suddenly wishing I was more in shape. I hopped off the curb and sprinted towards the man who had tumbled to his knees and seemed to be slightly confused by how he had gotten out into the road. Moments later, I came to a dead stop and reached for him. I grabbed his arm and with everything I had in me I tugged him up and off to the side.

"Come on!" I shouted.

With an unknown strength, I dragged him a few inches back, far enough out-of-the-way, just as the large double-decker bus honked and blew right by us, missing us by mere inches. Stunned and frightened I felt my whole body shake. The man panted hard and looked at me with shock.

"You saved me." He exclaimed, I nodded, unable to speak. "The bus would have hit me. Thank you."

He frowned for a moment as his eyes peculiarly peered at me. He then quickly stood up. When he did, I realized just how tall he really was. He towered me by several inches and I had to crane my neck up to look at him. He dusted off his long coat and glanced back at me. His eyes locked onto mine and I was memorized.

"Do I know you?" He asked suddenly.

I tried to concentrate on the question, but he stood so close to me it was a bit hard to think straight. "No, I don't think so." I managed to finally say, feeling very awkward.

I would have definitely remembered meeting someone like him before. Not only was he tall, but he was extremely handsome. His dark brown hair was slightly long and crazily styled as if he had just gotten out of bed. He had the most incredible hair I had ever seen on a man. His warm brown eyes were hypnotizing, they were full of curiosity and intelligence but there was also a deep sadness to them. His sorrowful eyes made it hard to look into them and not want to share the melancholy he was obviously feeling.

I quickly looked away, wondering what had happened to this gorgeous stranger with the sad eyes. "You were pushed ..." I said and groaned at my obvious statement. I quickly looked around for the man who had pushed him, but he was nowhere in sight. "He was just here ..."

The man crinkled his nose as he scanned the crowd of people, I had a feeling he was about to speak but before he got the chance too, I suddenly felt each of my arms being grabbed tightly. I twisted my head and saw a security guard on each side of me along with one directly behind.

"You need to come with us, miss." One said sternly.

"What?!" I wiggled and tried to get free from their rigid grasp.

"Stealing is a serious offence."

"I didn't –" But I quickly recalled the red coat. I looked down and groaned. I had run out of the shop with the red jacket. I had totally forgotten that I had slipped it on. The two guards that were holding onto me a bit too roughly spun me around and led me to the store. "It was a mistake, I wasn't stealing!" I cried, trying to wrench free from the sturdy hold they had on me.

I looked back at the man I had just saved, pleadingly hoping he would tell them I had just saved his life.

Why wasn't he helping?

As I glanced back, I noticed he was observing the situation but still said nothing. The two guards easily ignored my struggles and continued to escort me back towards the store just as Lara came rushing out.

"Clara! What is going on?" She hurried to my side "What happened?"

"Excuse us, miss, this young woman was caught stealing." The head guard swiftly brushed by Lara.

"Stealing? Don't be ridiculous!" Lara followed. "Clara, what did you get yourself into now?" She cried in alarm.

I said nothing, but once again peeked back at the man I had just saved. He stood as still as a statue, watching me, seeming to be deciding what he should do next. His face was strained as he ran a hand through his tousled hair making it stick up more in the air.

I stumbled slightly thanks to the guard's roughness but neither one seemed to care that I almost fell. Both guards grip tightened around my arms even more. I winced in pain but said nothing.

"Wait! Stop!" The tall man finally yelled. He ran to us and stood in front of the guards.

"Sir, move out of the way or we will have to arrest you as well."

The man simply grinned.

"I'd like to see you try." He dug into his long light brown duster-type overcoat, and pulled out a leather case, which opened, revealing a picture identification card. "I am chief-inspector Smith, with the Scotland Yard. He flashed the card through the air and quickly snapped the wallet shut and put it back into his jacket. "This young woman was working under my orders. I was doing a test ..." He paused and looked at me with a slight twinkle in his eyes. "It was a test to see if you were prepared to apprehend a real thief."

Two of the guards that were holding onto me glanced suspiciously at each other.

"You've passed with flying colors." The man exclaimed. "So let my associate go so she can get back to work." He demanded, his tone turning serious.

All three guards were silent for a moment, seeming to consider his words. The one at the front gave a curt nod and both guards let me go. I couldn't help but rub the spot where one of them had held on to me way too tightly.

"So yes, very well, thank you." The stranger grabbed my free hand and tugged me towards him, he bent down slightly and whispered in my ear. "Give them back the jacket." The closeness of him and his breath at my ear made me shiver, but I quickly snapped out of it and I took the coat off, I handed it back to one of the guards.

My rescuer grabbed my hand again. "Okay, then, well ..." He slowly backed away.

I wasn't too sure what was going on here, but I was sure this guy was not from the Scotland Yard.

"Hey, wait a minute ... "One of the guard's gave us a look of leer. "My sister works at the Scotland Yard, and the chief-inspector is not named Smith." The guard suddenly said.

And with that, the man's grip on my hand tightened and he flashed them a brilliant smile.

"Run!" He whispered.

Not giving me a chance to think twice he pulled me along with him.

I could have broken free, I could have stopped. But I didn't want too, I finally felt like something was right and there was no way I was letting go now. My stranger glanced behind us only to see the guards hot on our tails.

"STOP!" They yelled.

The man's face held a grin from ear to ear. He picked up the pace, never letting go of my hand. He peeked at me for a brief moment.

"I'm the Doctor, by the way and I don't plan on ever stopping, how about you?"