Disclaimer: Don't own Tenchi stuff. This story has no relevance to my other Tenchi tales, so feel free to read.

The Wish Giver

By Al Kristopher

[email protected]

Prologue--The Strange Man

Once upon a merry time in Tokyo, there lived a man who was plagued to no end by six crazy girls, and the antics they all caused by living under the same roof--mainly, that of our hero. This young man was called Tenchi Masaki, and he had very good reasons to be so beleaguered, for the insane girls that had invaded his life were among some of the most bizarre and strange kinds there ever was. One of the was a wild space pirate, two were princesses from another planet, one was a mad scientist, and two of them were galactic police officers! To even imagine such a life that young Tenchi could lead would be terrifying on its own; actually living such a life would be disastrous.

But there were also those times when Tenchi managed to survive such troubles, and one particular evening was one of these times. The year had rolled around to one of the many traditional Japanese festivals, and there would be lights and games and rides and good food and so many things to fascinate the senses that even the troubles of Tenchi would lessen. Of course, our hero attended this festival, and so did the six women who bugged him so. But, for the sake of the holiday, young Tenchi remained reasonably serene.

Late into the night, when closing time was only about two hours away, our hero wandered onto an empty lot on the fairgrounds. There was very little to be seen in this area, and even the sounds of the carnival music were dulled, so far away was he from everything else. To tell the truth, there was really only one thing that stuck out to him in this otherwise-abandoned lot, and it really wasn't anything worth looking at. Just a tent, erected by an old-fashioned circus MC. But what grabbed Tenchi's attention was not the tent, but the sign in front of it. Tenchi read over the words several times before convincing himself that they were really there, and even then……

The sign read:

PHINEAS T. BLIN, ESQ.

I CAN GIVE YOU

WHATEVER YOU ASK FOR

ONLY 5Y

Now obviously, such a sign as this would cause many to scoff in disbelief--and many more to enter into such a tent to quench such curiosities. Tenchi was one who was drawn into the tent, merely for the cheap thrill of seeing whether or not Mr. Phineas T. Blin could actually back his claim up. And so, he went inside, only to find that he was not the only person who had been drawn into such a gimmick. There, inside the tent, sitting on worn-out benches, were each of the six girls that had forced themselves into Tenchi's lives. Not knowing whether to greet them all warmly, or shiver in fright over what these girls could possibly wish for, Tenchi chose the former and made his presence known.

"You too, huh?" asked the space pirate Ryoko. Tenchi nodded his head and chose to sit next to the young princess Sasami, the only other place in the whole tent he could sit on. Aside from the six girls and Tenchi, there was also a stout, funny little man in the tent, looking more like a big red ball than anything else. He had a red shirt on underneath a heavy white coat, and somewhere on his reddish face, there was a curly mustache and a derby hat. His eyes, red and glowing like a cat's, had slits in them like a snake's, and when he spoke, it was like the whole gang had been taken back to 19th century America, to the great sideshows of P.T. Barnum.

"Ladies and gentleman!" began Blin with a mighty wave of his hands. "I know how your curiosity burns so, and how madly your anticipation grows in anxiety for what is about to come! Indeed, had you ignored such a sign and went on with the fair, your very soul would burn from never knowing whether my claims were false or not! Heed you this, my fair ladies, and my noble sir, that my claims are as true as the very mustache on my face!

"You may ask yourself if I can truly grant you anything you want," he continued. "I say to you, Yes! I can! But you must believe in me first! And, as a sign of good faith and good faith alone, for I have no need of money, I must have five Yen from each of you! It only sounds like a fair deal; after all, you are going to attain the very desires of your heart, and for such an insignificant amount! I tell you, a better bargain shall not be found on this ground, nor anywhere else in the world! So, five Yen, if you wish to test my claims!!!"

Silence. Slowly, Phineas extended his hand like a church collection plate, and by the end of the minute, he had received thirty-five yen from seven skeptical people.

"You will never make a better deal in your lives!" exclaimed Phineas as he thrust the money in his pockets. "And now, for your just reward! To show you that my claims are true, and to reward you for your good faith--or perhaps your enflamed curiosity--I present to you these, your wishes!" Like an expert card-dealer from Vegas, Phineas flicked his wrists and out came seven cards, three in one hand and four in the other. One card was handed to each woman (and Tenchi) in the room, and every one of them gave the cards a good examination.

It seemed like they were nothing more than white index cards with a red dot in the middle of them. The girls were about to complain that they had gotten nothing more than cheap stationery for their money, but Phineas cut them off.

"I know what you are thinking!" he said. "You think that these cards are worthless, and are good for nothing more than burning in the fire! But oh, what a mistake that would be! For you see, dear ladies and noble sir, these are not just any ordinary cards, oh no! These have the very power to grant your wishes--any wish you have at all shall be granted! All you must do to invoke your desires is to press your thumb against the red dot, utter your wish out loud, and it shall be granted! But beware, for it shall come true, and you only get one wish per card! Just one wish…"

Silence.

And disbelief.

"Now I must bid you farewell," said Phineas as he tipped his derby. "And don't think about coming back here to buy more cards. I only travel each road once, peddling my wares and moving on quick as a wink! So do not bother to look for me, for you shall never see me again! Well, ladies and good sir, enjoy your wishes, and make the best out of what you have!"

The six girls and Tenchi left the tent, disappointment bitterly hugging their tongues. They had each felt like a fool, having squandered such money on something so worthless, and each one stuffed their card away somewhere in their clothes, hopefully to either forget it or else to remind them of the money they had thrown away. They went back to the fair with five yen less and a bit of disgruntlement, but by the end of a mere month……

Part One: Ayeka's Wish--Monkey See, Monkey Do

On the morning of the next day, all thoughts of the peculiar wish-giver and the useless cards he had sold had almost completely vanished from thought. The morning in the house of Masaki started out the same as always, with chaos mixed in with a false sense of calm. Ryoko had snuck into Tenchi's room again and woke the poor boy up; an explosion had rocked the house and Washu's lab; Ryo-ohki was evading Sasami with a carrot in her mouth; Kiyone was screaming at Mihoshi, who was absorbed in morning cartoons; and Princess Ayeka of the Imperial Planet of Jurai was just having a bad day in general.

Mechanically, the purple-haired princess descended down the stairs and to the kitchen, yawning viciously and wishing that the sun would let her rest for a few hours more. She did not look nearly as beautiful as she could have, what with her hair frizzed out and her eyes bloodshot, but the worst thing by far was the terrible rumbling in her stomach. Ayeka was starving.

The eldest Jurai princess made her way into the kitchen, where she was witness to Sasami catching Ryo-ohki and scolding the cabbit for stealing yet another carrot. Ryo-ohki made her usual whine and pouting face, and Sasami forgave her as always, and let her have the carrot anyway. Ayeka, on the other hand, was more interested with what her sister was cooking for breakfast.

"Delicious!" she exclaimed, getting a good whiff of the cooking. "What are we having?"

"Sausage, bacon, eggs, toast, juice, and hash browns."

"Ahh!!" Stars appeared in Ayeka's eyes and a trickle of drool made its way down her lips; Sasami looked at her sister like her head had just turned into a watermelon, and weakly mumbled that the food wouldn't be ready for awhile. Poor Ayeka moaned and trudged out of the kitchen with her entire body drooping.

As destiny saw fit, she had the universal privilege of bumping into Ryoko.

"Hey, watch where you're going!!" spat the pirate angrily. Ayeka's hunger pangs faded and were replaced by immeasurable rage.

"What do you mean?! Why didn't you watch where you're going?! You half-witted, no-good, low-down, cheating, snake in the grass!"

"It takes one to know one!!" retorted Ryoko angrily. The pirate glared at her enemy with viciousness anew, and the two women sent thunderbolts to each other as they roared at the other. Insults began to fly like arrows in a massive battle.

"You are a freakish, ill-mannered, soggy-brained, maggot-mouthed, whore-faced, stinking, malignant pile of warthog excrement!" screamed Ayeka. Ryoko's turn came next.

"Only a flat-chested, cow-faced, ugly old brat with the mind of a gnat and a personality of a howler baboon would say that!!"

"You make dung beetles seem like the noblest creatures on Earth!" roared Ayeka.

"I don't know what's worse: the sound you make when you scream or the width your mouth stretches out when you do!"

"There are three words that best describe you: stink, stank, stunk!!!"

"You're a gutless coward birthed from a rotting whore and a worthless mama's boy of a fat-faced emperor, bred in the stinking pits of the most disgusting and worthless cesspool of a garbage-dump empire I've ever known! You're so sickening to the sight that I vomit just from hearing your name!!"

"OVERWEIGHT NEANDERTHAL!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Slug-kissing cactus-hugging prostitute's queen with a snake's face and a rat's stench!"

"OOOOOHHHHH!!!!!!!" Ayeka, piping-hot with rage beyond measurement, dove her hand into her kimono and flashed out the first thing her fingers touched--which, coincidentally, happened to be the wishing-card she had bought from the strange circus peddler the day before. Her thumb was squeezing the red spot tighter than a python, and with eyes aflame and voice booming, she declared her final say in the "argument".

"You beast! I wish you acted less like a barbarian and more like ME!!!!!" Suddenly, several things happened at once. First, the red spot on the card grew increasingly warm, until it got so hot that Ayeka had to drop it. Secondly, all the rage and anger on Ryoko's face lifted. Third, the pirate began blinking in such a confusion that even Sasami, who had unfortunately been witness to the fierce squabble, had to be concerned.

"…Ryoko?" she squeaked. Ryoko shook her shaggy head fiercely, and like a shot, gained a completely new look to her lawless façade. Her eyes thinned and her nose pointed into the air, and the girl gently covered her mouth with the backside of her hand.

"My word!" she exclaimed. "But it does reek in here! Princess Sasami, what is that dreadful odor I smell?"

"It's breakfast," said poor naïve Sasami, who was not quite sure what was going on. Ayeka, however, looked like she had just been told that Tenchi was no longer interested in women.

"…Ryoko?" she whispered. Ryoko gave the princess a haughty stare.

"Hmm… that's Princess Ryoko to you, milady, and if I were you, I would start addressing me as such. I would not expect a woman of your stature to be so careless about my rank."

"Rank?! What rank?!?!" screamed Ayeka. "You have no rank, unless you mean the rank odor coming from your body! And calling yourself a princess?! The sheer nerve!" Suddenly, Ryoko struck Ayeka square on the cheek, sending the princess staggering back with her powerful slap. Ayeka let out a shriek as she was hit; Ryoko's face grew fiery.

"How dare you talk that way to me, infidel!" she spat. "I ought to execute you personally for uttering such degrading words! How do you ever have the nerve of speaking to me in such a manner?! Bow down and grovel for forgiveness, or I shall chop your head off as I speak!" By now, even patient Sasami was gasping in horror, and the poor girl could do nothing more but rush over and tug at Ryoko's skirt.

"Ryoko!! What's come over you?! You've never acted this way before!"

"Silence, young lady!" spat Ryoko. "I am not in the mood to deal with a whelp like you! Unless you want to beg for your sister's life, I suggest you remove yourself from the premises!!" Sasami whimpered and looked up into Ryoko's cold face with big begging eyes, but the steel she got in return told her that the woman was dead serious.

"Ryoko, what's wrong?" she whispered gently. "You never acted this way, not even on your worst days…"

"A princess must be hard sometimes," sniffed Ryoko with a deft wave of her hair. "And your sister insulted me! She would be lucky to not receive a good torturing!" Sasami gasped in surprise; a groan came up from the ground, originating from Ayeka.

"…Ohhh… Ryoko… what has happened?" Sporting a red welt on her face, Ayeka stood up and looked into the eyes of her rival. "What on God's green Earth has gotten into you? What makes you think you can bully us around like this--and what makes you think that you are a princess?!"

"You DARE challenge my claim to the throne?!" yelled Ryoko. "Why, you worthless woman! A peasant has not the slanderous tongue that rests in your wicked mouth! It is only through your connection to the Jurai Imperial power that I have not yanked such a saucy organ from your body!" Ayeka's rage increased along with Ryoko's, and the two "princesses" battled it out once again.

"I don't know what kind of sake you are drinking this time, Ryoko, but it is time you cease this game! You are not and never will be a princess! That is final!"

"Slave!!" screamed Ryoko, whacking Ayeka with her palm again. "You are worse than the most ignoble slave! You dare address someone of royal birth as a drunkard and liar!!"

"GET IT INTO YOUR THICK HEAD, RYOKO!!!!" screamed Ayeka. "YOU ARE NOT A PRINCESS!!!"

And then, suddenly, it hit her…

I can give you whatever you ask for only 5Y

"I wish you acted less like a barbarian and more like ME!"

"Oh, goodness!" shrieked Ayeka. "It cannot be true! It CANNOT be true!!!"

"What are you mumbling now, wretch?!" demanded Ryoko. "And make it quick! My patience is almost lost on you!!!" Ayeka quivered in fear, daring to gaze at the enraged woman as the most forbidden thoughts ran through her head. It could not have been possible… and yet… here was Ryoko, acting only too much like Ayeka had at times--acting like a "princess" would in those very situations. Ayeka shivered in horror at what had just happened, and fell to the floor.

"This cannot be…!" she insisted. "No! Impossible!"

"Get up, foul creature!" demanded Ryoko. "Or are you groveling before me? Speak!!!" Ayeka swallowed down her fear and disbelief for the moment. Ryoko was very serious, and very enraged, so Ayeka did the only thing she thought would work.

"…Please forgive me, almighty majesty!" she moaned. "I have been worse than the very dirt that earthworms vomit out! I deserve years of the worst torture for ever insulting you! But please, magnificent gem of the universe, please! If you have any sort of mercy in your soul, I beg of you to spare my unworthy life!!!" For awhile, there was silence, and uncertainty, and hope. Ayeka shivered, her body and soul at the mercy of her one-time enemy; Ryoko contemplated the words that her "fellow princess" had pleaded. Ayeka could only hope that her act would work…

"…Very well," muttered Ryoko. "I shall forgive you, because you have asked of it so humbly and abjectly. Your willingness to lower your own self has brought reason and mercy to my heart, and so I spare your life. But if you cross me again, knavish tart…"

"Oh no, never!" insisted Ayeka as she kissed Ryoko's feet. The "princess" snorted and bade her fellow monarch to stand.

"Hmph. It no longer suits you to grovel, Ayeka. I shall take leave of you in search of a true breakfast, then I must attend to business. But if I hear you are giving me mischief again--"

"You shall not!" swore the true princess as she bolted to her feet. Ryoko gave the purple-haired woman a doubtful gaze, then silently dipped her head in a lame curtsy and left the area. A sigh of relief came out of both Sasami's and Ayeka's mouths.

"…Hey Ayeka?" asked the younger one. "What was that all about?" Ayeka could only shake her head.

"I… don't think you want to know, Sasami…"

Part Two: Kiyone's Wish: Mihoshi Muyo!

Letting out a sigh of utter exhaustion, Kiyone forced herself to wake up at her usual hour and stifled a yawn. The sun had not even come up yet, but unless she wanted to be late for work, again, she had to rise at these ungodly hours. Kiyone expected Mihoshi to still be off in dreamland, and since it usually took a few hours to get the blonde ditz moving, all the more reason to rise early.

"Time to get up, Meesh," muttered Kiyone with a scorching sigh. As usual, she only received snoring in return. Having given Mihoshi the chance to wake up under peaceful conditions, Kiyone grew angry and loud. "Mihoshi!!! Time to get up!!!" But, as always, her partner in crime prevention merely mumbled and tossed in her sleep. Enraged, Kiyone hastily pinched Mihoshi's nose until the poor girl suffocated, and with a sudden sputter, Mihoshi joined the rest of the waking world.

"D'guuh!! Blecch! Ughn!! Heeee, heeee, heee…" Poor Mihoshi gasped for breath and ran her hands over her face, and gave her partner a frightened look. "Oh, Kiyone! I had a dream that I was drowning in the ocean!"

"Well your dream's over now, and so is your nap!" snapped Kiyone. "Now you'd better get moving if you don't want to be late. ……MIHOSHI!! Are you listening to me?!?!"

A snoring blonde was her only response. Veins appeared on poor Kiyone's forehead and her eye twitched nervously. One final scream ought to do it…

"MIHOSHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"I'M UP!!!" blurted the police officer as she stormed out of bed. Mihoshi suddenly went into overdrive, scurrying into the bathroom to wash up while at the same time, muttering something about toast and ham. Kiyone sighed in irritation once again, but was at least glad that Mihoshi was going faster than usual. At this rate, they might actually make it to work on time, for once…

Having a partner like Mihoshi was all work and no play for poor Kiyone. The aqua-haired officer often felt like some sick cosmic joke was being played on her, and that she would be forever doomed to a life with the air-headed young woman. Sure, Mihoshi was the sweetest and kindest thing there ever was, and her spirit was as gentle and pure as snow, but the girl was a bubble-headed disaster area with less brain matter than a sheet of glass. If Kiyone had any wish at all, it was that Mihoshi would never be in her life ever again…

And then, it hit her. If I had any wish at all…? Kiyone quickly recalled the fair she had visited, and the odd little man that had sold her a wishing-card for five yen. Having remembered the event, Kiyone went to her purse and dug the card out. The little red dot seemed to call her name out, goading her on to make the wish that she had always hoped would come true. Without any hesitation at all, Kiyone pressed her thumb to the dot and uttered her desires. What did she have to lose, except for the five yen?

"I wish that Mihoshi would be out of my life forever!"

Nothing happened. But then again, Mihoshi had wandered off into the bathroom. With a sigh, Kiyone dropped the card to the floor, not noticing how warm the red spot had gotten. With a weary breath, she decided to check up on Mihoshi. Poor girl probably got her hair caught in the curling iron again…

But when Kiyone peeked into the bathroom, there was nobody there, nobody at all. Any signs of Mihoshi, whether it be a discarded shirt or a few loose hairs, were completely gone. In fact, the room looked to be just as spotless as Kiyone had left it the night before. Mihoshi always made some kind of mess when she used the bathroom, but now the place was clean as ever. It was like she had never even stepped foot inside the room.

Kiyone's heart throbbed mercilessly as she ran towards her nightstand. Beside the lamp there was a picture of her and Mihoshi, which had been taken during one of the very rare times when the two officers were both in good spirits. When Kiyone glanced at the picture, she was startled to find that she was alone in the photo. Mihoshi's image had been completely erased.

Kiyone then went around her room, checking everything that had any relevance to her partner. Mihoshi's GP equipment was gone, and so were her stuffed animals and personal belongings. The bed that she had been using was neat and tidy (which was a shock enough, considering how often the girl slept in it), and all of Mihoshi's clothes had vanished from the closet. Kiyone, perspiring slightly from the sudden surprise, tried desperately to calm her breath and pulse down as the realization struck her.

Mihoshi was out of her life. The wish had worked.

There was now cause for celebration.

"FREEDOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

For the whole entire morning, Kiyone was in high spirits. She was no longer in the mad rush she usually was, and in fact could take most of her morning hours as luxury time. She had gotten up earlier than usual to prepare for Mihoshi's tardiness, but with the ditz now gone forever, she had plenty of time for herself. Kiyone actually sang and danced for joy, and promised to celebrate with much more zest once her workday was over.

Her workday! Kiyone cried with happiness as she thought of how her days would be influenced from that point on. Without Mihoshi screwing things up, Kiyone could easily perform at her highest level. She could get dozens of promotions, and would climb very high up on the social and economic ladder. Without Mihoshi splurging their paychecks, Kiyone could invest her money into buying a real home, perhaps setting some aside for retirement and even a family.

Kiyone's nights would be filled with peace and relaxation. No late-night talk shows or midnight cartoon marathons would keep her up. No sudden disasters would ruin the house or suck money from their income. No whining partners would mess up a bust; no God-awful karaoke sessions would shatter her eardrums (though she had to admit that Mihoshi was a very good singer), and most importantly, nobody would scream "Don't leave me behind, Kiyone!" or "We're gonna be together forever!"

The only bad thing about Kiyone's all-time high was that it was going to be very difficult to be any happier. It seemed like she had already passed Cloud Nine--heck, it was more like Cloud Ninety-Nine. So, to sum up her feelings, Kiyone was in blissful rapture, and felt that she had never spent five yen on anything more precious, or more wonderful. If ever she saw Phineas Blin again, she would give him a big kiss for his wonderful gift.

Days passed.

The days became weeks.

The weeks turned into a month or two.

Kiyone's happiness gradually wore down. From unbridled ecstasy into pure joy, and from pure joy into carefree bliss. Carefree bliss turned into commonplace happiness, then it degraded slowly into a mere good feeling. But…… time rolled onward, and soon, Kiyone began to feel… less than happy. There was still a quiet sense of joy in her heart, that would occasionally flare up into something greater, but the high would not last forever. Like some kind of drug, Kiyone's thrills lasted only so long, and when two months of isolation passed her, she began to feel… unhappy.

Kiyone passed her days mechanically, without giving her one-time partner much thought. It soon grew to where there would be rare times when Mihoshi was missed--and then those rare times grew more frequent. Kiyone would even shudder from time to time, as common Mihoshi-centric events grew chilly and cold. Sometimes, the aqua-haired officer would slip up and mention her partner by accident, and of course, nobody would know who she was talking about.

"I have no idea who Mihoshi is," Tenchi would say. "Is she a friend?"

"Nope, never heard of her," said Washu. "I could run a few tests if you like."

"I have no inkling of the subject," replied Ryoko, who was becoming too snooty for her own good. Kiyone would sigh and grow a little emptier as the days rolled by, and soon, pain began to replace the joy she had once felt. Kiyone began to severely miss her partner, from the inane and quirky things she would do or say, to the loveable way she laughed. Even Mihoshi's faults were missed, and it got so bad that Kiyone would've given anything to hear a precious crash.

Kiyone grew even more depressed as the weeks rolled by. She began to forget about everything bad about Mihoshi, and realized that the girl brought more good to her life than mischief. Sure, she was a brainless klutz who performed poorly at her job, but the good things about Mihoshi were piling up day after day. First of all, she was a pretty young thing, with an insatiable childlike curiosity and an inextinguishable lust for life and joy. Mihoshi was almost always smiling, and she always let her heart be her guide, even though sometimes it produced cowardly or irritating results.

So what if Mihoshi was uncoordinated? She could brighten up Kiyone's worst days with her laughter. So what if she was mindless? The pure wisdom of an innocent child was the only education she needed. So what if she slept in late, and always made Kiyone tardy for work? All the more reason for Kiyone to work harder. So what if she was disorganized? Who wasn't? So what if she whined and cried and fretted under pressure? She just wasn't the hardcore cop that Kiyone was.

As even more time went by, Kiyone finally realized how good she had it with her partner around. All the troubles she had went through were nothing; Mihoshi had brought out the best in her and she had been too ignorant and selfish to realize it. Kiyone was now alone and afraid, afraid that she would never see her sunny friend again, afraid that her wish was permanent, and that the joy that had once been part of her life was now gone.

It began to rain in Tokyo, and as Kiyone stepped outside to soak, she shuddered as she realized that her devious wish had come true. Mihoshi was out of her life forever, and there was nothing she could do about it.

Part Three: Ryoko's Wish: A Sticky Situation

Ryoko, who had recently been transformed into a selfish and short-tempered princess by Ayeka, was becoming more and more of a curiosity in the Masaki house. The woman strutted around like she owned the whole universe, and everything she said was dripping with pseudo-authority. She even went to her room and threw out all her clothes, save for the ones that passed as royal garments (needless to say, Ryoko had to go shopping later on). The woman would have very little to do with anyone in the house, except for Ayeka and Sasami, and rarely even gave them the time of day. Ayeka, however, was quickly regretting her wish, and would have given anything to have the old barbaric Ryoko back.

But, a more interesting twist also came with Ayeka's wish. Ryoko acted like an uncontrollable version of the violet-haired princess, but she also had the same hidden tendencies for Tenchi that Ayeka did. However, as she had been open and aggressive with her feelings before, now she was as shy and reserved (and temperamental) as the true princess was. She just could not pull off the royal act once young Mr. Masaki came on the scene.

Why am I allowing myself to become so giddy and distant whenever that young man is around? she had to question. I am a princess! I command the lives of men and balance out the political and economic upheavals! Whole planets hang on my very words! Yet WHY is it that I cannot even stand up straight when that… that… that Tenchi is around?! I wish… I just wish… there was something that could be done!!!

…Wish?

…The wish-card! Ah, I remember purchasing one of those worthless things just the other day! Such a ludicrous thought, this card that grants a person's desires! …And yet, would it not be worth it to at least give it a try? The least I would say about such a thing is that the whole matter will end up being a laugh. So, why not? I shall give it a try! And if worse comes to worse, that infidel of a man will wish he had never laid eyes on Princess Ryoko!!!

Ryoko hastily walked up to her room (for a true princess never has a need to run) and searched for the wishing-card that she had bought. It was on her bed, laying right there for her to use. The "princess" smiled deviously and clutched the paper to her heart. Her thumb pressed over the red spot, and Ryoko declared her wish for all the world to hear.

"I wish that Lord Tenchi and I would always be together!"

A rather ambiguous desire, true; maybe even a simple one. But it had been Ryoko's wish ever since she laid her golden eyes on young Tenchi. It had been her desire long before the fair, long before she was a "princess", and this wish of hers had carried on into this new persona, reduced only slightly by the hastily-made wish of Ayeka. Ryoko dropped the paper after feeling a warm sensation flare up on the spot, and stuck her thumb in her mouth to cool. So far, nothing was happening.

"Wretched carnival worker," she muttered. "He shall pay dearly for deceiving me. Alas, tis' unfortunate that I know not where he lays now, else my wrath would surely split his lying tongue in twain! …T'would be best of me not to think of it now. I have more important matters to attend to." With a snort, Ryoko walked out of her room, stepping on the card in the process, and descended down the stairs once again in search of her "more important matters"--mainly, young Tenchi.

If nothing else, that wishing-card had given her a renewed courage to approach Tenchi and express herself to him. A surge of bravery coursed through her veins, the kind that pulsed through Ayeka's body just before the princess nobly faced a new foe. She was now resolved to at least greet the young man, perhaps even inquire about an evening spent together. Surely he would not refuse the request of a lady such as she!!

"Lord Tenchi?" she called. "Where are you?"

"In the den!!" he called. Ryoko smiled and swallowed a bit of her nervousness down as she went into the room. With the words of her wish whispering inside her head, Ryoko performed a curtsy and gave Tenchi a smile. No wish or royal upbringing could destroy the rampant feelings Ryoko had for this young man; nothing could, or ever would.

"Oh, uh, hi Ryoko," he greeted. Tenchi was just as puzzled over Ryoko's new transformation as anyone else had been, and though it was slightly nice to see her walking around with manners for once, the change had not been good at all. It was clear that even Ayeka preferred the former Ryoko, but what could he have done? Wish for her to change…?

"…Lord Tenchi?" began Ryoko tentatively. "May I, ah, ask you a question?"

"Sure, go ahead. Do you want a seat?"

"Oh, why thank you, milord!" Smiling beyond the boundaries of politeness, Ryoko sat close to Tenchi and tried not to become flustered. She was a princess, after all! She commanded men in battle, she held power over planets, she was respected by her countrymen and feared by her enemies! Why couldn't she even look this young man in the eye?!

"I, ah, well, ah…" Blushing a little more, Ryoko managed to spit out her desires. "…Lord Tenchi, I know that a Lady like myself should not be affiliated with a young man like you--but, these feelings I have are far too strong to be contained!"

"Yeah, I kinda know how you feel about me," said Tenchi with a watery smile. He placed his hand on Ryoko's shoulder and chuckled. "I mean, you tell me you love me and that we're gonna elope or something almost every day! This isn't news to me!" Ryoko's face turned redder than a lobster, and the poor girl sunk her head in embarrassment. None of what Tenchi said rang any bells for her, which was all the more humiliating considering how blunt he had been. Then again, if he already knew…

"…Uh, well… then…… Oh, I'm making such a fool of myself!" Ryoko hastily leaped out of the couch, but suddenly fell back down again, as if some force was pinning her down. Tenchi let out a yelp as his arm was suddenly jerked into the air, then flung back down along with Ryoko. Both of them laid in a pile for awhile, stunned as to what had just happened.

"…What?! Why can I not move?" Ryoko stood up again slower this time, and found that the same force had returned, fighting to keep her down. With slight irritation, she noticed that Tenchi's hand was still on her shoulder. "Lord Tenchi!! Please, remove your hand from my shoulder! I would like some time alone!"

"I'm… trying!" he grunted. Tenchi stood, and began yanking at his stubborn arm with all his might. But no matter how hard he tried, his arm could not be pried away from Ryoko. With one final tug, Tenchi accidentally yanked Ryoko off of the couch and sent her--along with himself--flying towards the floor. With a painful crunch, she landed directly on his body, their noses just a hair away from touching. Both of them slowly opened their squinting eyes to see what damage had been done, and their faces turned red as they stared into each other's eyes.

"…Uh, Ryoko?" said Tenchi. Despite the close proximity to the one who had her heart, Ryoko was more afraid than flustered.

"Yes?"

"…I think we're stuck somehow."

"I wish that Lord Tenchi and I would always be together!"

Only one word ran through Ryoko's mind, and it certainly wasn't the kind that usually graced the lips of a princess.

Oh, crap…

Part Four: Tenchi's Wish: Brief Remedy

"What's… going on?!" grunted Ryoko as she tried to pry herself away from Tenchi, although she probably knew the answer better than anyone. As she struggled to yank her body off of Tenchi (for the first time ever), Ryoko couldn't help but snarl as she recalled her wish she had just made. It was true that she had always wanted to be close to Tenchi, and to be with him always, but… this was not what she had in mind!

"I don't know! I hope… you're not behind this!" grunted Tenchi. Ryoko glared at him and insisted that the matter was not her fault. She and Tenchi continued to struggle, but all their efforts were in vain--some of them, in fact, actually bonding them even closer together. Finally, they both slumped on the couch again, forced together in a strange embrace, and began to think of how they should get out of such a predicament.

"…Just what is going on around here, Ryoko?" asked Tenchi in a gentle voice. "First you're acting all high and mighty, and then you get stuck to me, like I'm made of flypaper or something. Now I know how much you like me, but isn't this getting a little out of hand?"

"I am trying to break loose just as much as you are, sir!" snapped Ryoko viciously. Tenchi quietly nodded his head as he realized that she was telling the truth, and with a sigh, he arched his head to the side.

"This is hopeless," he sighed. "It's like we're stuck together by some magic force. What do you think we should do when it comes time for me to go to school--or worse, when I have to use the bathroom?! AHHHHHH!!!!!" Tenchi screamed out in horror and attempted to wiggle free yet again, but all his efforts went to waste. Ryoko didn't know whether to be angry at his panicking reaction, or guilty for ever putting such a fate on her love's shoulders. But, then again, she had made that wish, and unless there was some way of reversing it…

"Ah! I have a solution!" exclaimed Ryoko.

"And I'm desperate enough to try it."

"Quiet," she hissed. "Now, for this to work, I need to have your undivided attention." She then proceeded to explain what had really happened to the young man, starting from the fair and going on to the present time. After hearing her story, Tenchi couldn't help but give a doubtful look to the woman, but like he had said, he was desperate.

"So what you're saying is that I need to make a wish on my card that'll get us outta this mess?"

"Correct," replied Ryoko. "I do hate to force you to make your wish, especially since I was the one who started this mess…" Tenchi let out a weary sigh and shook his head in defeat.

"That doesn't matter now. Now, help me look for my card." Ryoko nodded her head, and together, the two of them slowly rose from the couch and began to carefully search for Tenchi's wishing-card. They quickly found it to be hidden in the young man's pants pocket, and with much difficulty, Tenchi forced his hand down there without touching Ryoko. His thumb somehow managed to find the red spot, and he hastily spat out his desires.

"I wish we weren't stuck together like this!" Instantly, Tenchi and Ryoko separated with a faint ripping sound, flinging them both backwards. Tenchi moaned and rubbed the place that had absorbed his fall, and asked if Ryoko was all right as well.

"Yes, I'm fine," she sighed. "It is but my pride that has been damaged." Tenchi weakly nodded his head, and stood up to dust himself off. Ryoko stepped towards him to apologize for her selfish desires, but poor Tenchi backed off, having already been witness to more than he wanted.

"Hey! Don't touch me, all right!!" Ryoko, having seen his face full of fear, drooped into sadness and slowly walked out of the room, whispering several apologies to the man that she had hurt so. The heart of a princess was breaking inside of her; Ryoko was frightened and depressed, and all because of one single wish of hers that had ruined the whole day--and maybe her relationship with Tenchi with it. The thought of never being close to the young man was more horrifying than anything else Ryoko could conceive.

Part Five: Washu's Wish: Dim Brilliance

Oblivious to the chaos going on outside of her laboratory, Washu continued to type on her computer terminal like she always had. The matters of the outside world affected her little; she rarely left her roost, except maybe to eat or sleep or use the bath house. Of course, considering the amounts of disasters that she had started or increased whenever she stepped out of her lab, it was quite all right for her to stay in there. A disaster that never had the chance to happen was a good disaster.

Even so, the little redheaded genius found ways to cause trouble, even in the middle of experiments. On one particular hour, she had been absently hacking away at her computer while thinking about the odious wish-giver that had sold her a worthless card. Washu had examined the device with her computers and microscopes, and found nothing out of the ordinary. The card was 4x6 centimeters with a red spot in the center that was either penned on there or stuck on by an adhesive. There was nothing special about it, nothing at all.

And even if the claim had been true, what would Washu, the universe's greatest genius, wish for? She technically had everything she could ask for: devastating beauty, wit and charm with lots of sophistication, a large crowd of adoring fans, limitless technology, and of course, her massive genius (all of these were her own beliefs; few actually thought she had any of these). There was nothing that she could possibly want that she did not already possess.

…Well…

There was one thing…

"A small thing, really," said Washu to herself one day. "It's not much now, is it? I'm already a beautiful genius with more class than the Imperial family, so I really don't need anything major--just a small something, that's all."

"That's our Washu!" squealed one of her cheerleading dolls. "Always humble, she is!"

"Our great Washu is a humble and beautiful woman!" agreed the other. She blushed and grinned.

"Yeah, it's true," she sighed. "But to tell you the truth," (again, she talked only to herself), "if I could have a wish, it'd be that I was just a little bit smarter than everyone else. …Yeah, that's it. I wish I was just a little bit smarter than everyone else. It's not too much to increase my genius by a fraction now, is it?"

"Certainly not, Washu!" shouted one of her dolls. "It's always great to be great!"

"Great, but greater to be greater!" agreed the other. Washu smiled impishly.

"Yeah. But, it's just a silly old card. Wishes like that can't come true, can they? And even if they did, don't you think that I'd feel smarter by now? I mean, I was doing everything that that little old man said, and nothing's happening."

"Too bad, so sad!" cried one of the dolls. "A real tear-jerker! Waaaaaah!"

"Washu, Washu, you're smart enough already!" squealed the other. "Smart enough to make your own wishes!"

"Why thank you!!" sang the genius. "But seriously, let's get back to work, shall we? I'm behind enough as it is!" The dolls hid away in their usual dimensional pocket, leaving their mistress to resume her work. But as Washu gazed at the immense terminal before her, she suddenly felt a pang of fear and confusion strike her down. Everything before her was swirled together in a massive conglomeration of confusion and murkiness. The colors, letters, and numbers flashed before her in a dizzying display, pummeling her advanced brain beyond anything she had ever experienced.

"What's going on?!" she screamed. Washu forced herself to jerk away from the terminal, and suddenly, the entire laboratory looked just as jumbled and mixed-up as her computer had. With a yell, Washu bolted out of her lab as quickly as possible, slamming the door behind her in the process.

What had just happened?!

Letting her breathing calm down slightly, Washu dared to peek inside her lab--and jerked her head away just as quickly. She took a deep breath, and tried to think of the reason for all of this. She hadn't taken any strange drugs, or eaten a bad mushroom, or digested something the wrong way, so what was the explanation for all this? Her genius failed her for the moment, so without much else to go on, she decided to step outside for some fresh air.

The sunny warmth of nature, combined with the gentle wind and the falling leaves, always put Washu in a relaxed mood. No matter how complicated things got in her lab, she could always retreat back into the outside world, where things were simple and base. To relax her mind further, Washu began to mentally identify the species of animals and plants she saw, by their scientific name.

Robin: Erithacus rubecola.

Bee: Apis mellifera.

Squirrel: ……? Squirrel? …Squirrel???!

"What's going on?!" shouted Washu to herself. "I should know this! Blast it, I should know something as dirt-simple as the scientific name for a squirrel! Jeez! Any normal person would know that!!" Yet for all her shouting, Washu could not remember such a "simple" fact, and had to storm back inside to look it up in a dictionary. To her shock, there were some words located in the book that she did not know; words that she swore were simple for her.

"What the heck's going on?!" she demanded. "first the lab, then the stupid rodents, now these words! Am I losing my memory or something?!" More irritated than afraid, Washu (being the scientist she was) decided to conduct a little experiment. She bravely set foot in her lab again, ignoring the wavy construction that had obviously been made by a Salvidor Dali fan, and located the one machine that might help her!

"Aha!" she sang as she found it. "It's one of my earlier inventions, the…… the, uh… uhh… The, uhhh…"

Washu had no idea what the thing was called.

"…Ahh, the stupid thing that measures a person's IQ!!!" she shouted at last. Quickly, Washu ran out of the lab and hooked the machine to her head. In just a few short minutes, it would give her a near-accurate estimate of what her IQ was, and whether or not she was losing precious points due to amnesia or Alzheimer's or whatever.

When the machine finally tallied out her intelligence quotient, Washu actually screamed as she got a look at the number.

"ONE SIXTY-THREE?!?!?!?!?!?! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!" The poor girl burst a few veins and nearly turned her hair white with such a shocked scream. "ONE SIXTY-THREE?!?!?! That's IMPOSSIBLE!!! It should be TWICE as high as that!!! No! NOOO!!!!!" Yet the machine Washu had made was not wrong; it had never been wrong. Washu had not made it to err, but to be as precise as it possibly could. Slowly, nervously, with her entire face twitching, Washu removed the device from her head and placed it gently on a table. She then recalled wishing about being a little bit smarter than everyone else, and then, as the full (and very literal) meaning of her wish dawned on her, Washu decided that it was a very good time for her to faint.

Part Six: Sasami's Wish: Word of Mouth

Up until this point, poor Sasami had been the only one that stayed mostly normal. She had been the unfortunate witness to so many peculiar happenings that she didn't know what to do with herself. First of all, Ryoko was acting very much like Ayeka, only worse, and had gotten to the point where the purple-haired princess of Jurai was stressed out to tears. Secondly, Tenchi was keeping his distance from the self-proclaimed princess, but more so than usual. He would run to the opposite side of the room if Ryoko so much as whispered to him.

What was even more strange was that Washu was staying out of her lab for abnormally long periods of time. She went around the house screaming her head off, but the only thing Sasami could gather was that the crazed genius was shocked over the loss of something, maybe a bit of her memory. Sasami thought an IQ of 163 was very high, much higher than a normal person's, but Washu claimed that it had been twice that number a few weeks ago.

Finally, she noticed Kiyone moping around every so often, with the most depressed look on her face. It had not been too long ago that the police officer had spunk and vim and vigor, probably over some great promotion or the capture of a difficult criminal. She also mentioned somebody named Mihoshi every now and again, but Sasami had no idea who this was. On top of all of this trouble, there was that funny man she had seen at the fair, and the strange wish-card he sold to her…

"If you had a wish, what would you ask for?" she had asked Ryo-ohki. Of course, the cabbit mewed out a desire for carrots, and Sasami giggled at the obvious answer. She didn't know what she would have asked for (being just young enough to believe an odd tale), so she kept the card close to her in case something came up.

One day, while she was making a salad for lunch, Kiyone bolted into the kitchen with the most desperate look on her face.

"Sasami! You have to help me! Please, let me use your wish, PLEASE!!!"

"Why?" asked the young girl. Kiyone's horrified look intensified.

"I don't have time to explain--just please, let me use your wish! I beg of you!"

"…Well…" Sasami, who would have given such a thing to a friend like Kiyone, was about to respond when she got a visit from both Ayeka and Ryoko.

"Excuse me! Sasami! Yes, hello! Would you be so kind as to allow me to use your wish, dear sister?"

"Back away, my lady!" snapped Ryoko. "I hold precedence for being here first! Lady Sasami, you must allow me to use that wish of yours!"

"You'll do no such thing!" blurted Washu as she bolted into the room. "Hey, Sasami! Please, be a dear and lemme use your wish! I'll let you have one of my inventions as a token of my appreciation--any one of them!"

"Don't listen them, please!" begged Kiyone. "Please, let me! I must have Mihoshi back or I'll go insane!"

"No! Let me change Ryoko back to who she used to be!"

"Fools! I know not what you say! As for my own wish, Lord Tenchi refuses to affiliate himself with me! I wish this curse of mine to be lifted!"

"I don't wanna be an ordinary genius! I wanna be the universe's greatest, not the country's greatest!!!"

"No, Mihoshi!" shouted Kiyone.

"Change Ryoko back!" screamed Ayeka.

"Lift this disaster from me!" demanded Ryoko.

"Make me a genius again!" exclaimed Washu. The women began to scream and shout all at once, nearly shaking the whole house with their squabbling. Sasami, who could take no more of the noise, slammed her palm on the counter with a bang. Not even she noticed that her hand was covering her wish-card, nor her thumb the red spot…

"…ENOUGH!" she screamed. "I wish that you all would be quiet!!"

Sure enough, silence fell upon the room.

Sasami let out a huge sigh of relief once the blanket of quiet had fallen on the room, and with a stern nod, she approved of the peace.

"That's better!" Now, with the room hushed up like that, perhaps she could concentrate on making lunch again. However, no sooner had she turned her head to attend to chopping the lettuce again, did Ryoko and Kiyone pull on her sleeves. They looked like they were shouting or begging to her--their mouths moved a mile a minute--but nothing came out. Sasami gazed at her friends like they had stuffed rats in their gaping mouths, and wondered what the problem was.

"Huh? Hey, what are you doing? Can't you talk?" Suddenly, Sasami let out a gasp, and realized what was happening. She had wished upon that accursed card that her friends would be quiet, and here they were, stricken dumb with silence. Her face exploded in shock, and her hands slapped over her mouth.

"Oh my goodness!" she exclaimed. "The wish! It came true! None of you can talk now, can you?" The older girls, who were just beginning to realize that they were mute, shook their heads. Sasami gave them such a depressed and apologetic look that even Ryoko's mood was softened.

"I'm so sorry!" she moaned. "I just wanted a little bit of peace so I could make lunch, but I didn't want this to happen! What am I going to do? We can't cancel any of these wishes out, can we?" All the girls shook their heads sadly. Suddenly, Tenchi came into the room, screaming silently about the loss of his own voice. The frantic look on his face was enough to convey his thoughts.

"Yes, I know," said Sasami. "It looks like I'm the only one who can talk normally. I guess… those wishes really were true, weren't they? And it looks like we wasted them all selfishly and foolishly, myself included…" The gentle young girl sighed and hung her head miserably. The seven of them had gone through something terrifying and frightening, yet there was definitely a lesson to be learned from the experience, though it was only the business of those involved to figure out what the lesson was.

Suddenly, a flash of hope erupted in Kiyone's eyes. She tried telling her idea to Sasami but forgot she couldn't talk, so instead she wrote her thoughts down on paper. The note read:

We can use Mihoshi's card to cancel all these wishes out.

"Who's this Mihoshi?" asked Sasami. "You kept on talking about her but we don't even know who she is." Kiyone grimly nodded her head and added another thought to the paper.

I'll tell you later. Just hope that this works.

"All right," agreed Sasami. "Where is this, uhh, Mihoshi's card?"

Part Seven: Mihoshi's Wish: Problems and their Solutions

A dark thought suddenly entered Kiyone's mind as she drove her friends to her apartment. So far, the wish she had made had completely erased any indication of Mihoshi's life from the universe, except for the memories that Kiyone had. She never figured that the wishing-card Mihoshi had bought would also vanish--not until this moment, at least. Kiyone could only hope and pray that the card had been left behind at least. Otherwise, the seven of them would have to live with their cursed wishes for the rest of their lives.

Once the car was parked and the door was opened, the seven friends searched the small apartment for the very last wishing-card still in operation. Kiyone's fears were growing by the minute. If all of Mihoshi's possessions had vanished with that dreadful wish, then wouldn't the card--something she had bought--have went with her? The thought scared Kiyone more than anything in the universe, but thankfully, she was unable to tell everyone else her terrors.

"Do you know exactly where it is?" asked Sasami. Kiyone gave her a shrug. Tenchi and Ryoko, who had gotten stuck together again in Kiyone's car, were looking all over the place with extra-special care. It seemed they wanted this misery to end just as badly as everyone else. In fact, the only one among them who had no reason to look for the card was Mihoshi herself, and only because she was missing and she hadn't used her wish yet.

Through some miracle, Kiyone was able to find the precious card, tucked away somewhere beneath the pillow that Mihoshi had used. Whether the fates had placed it there, or some cosmic miracle had kept it around after everything else vanished, or whether Phineas Blin had secretly slipped it there himself, was a mystery. The point was that the card was there, and everyone screamed with silent joy upon finding it.

"Good job, Kiyone!" squealed Sasami, the only one among them who could speak. Kiyone handed the card to the young child, and everybody crowded around her, begging for their individual curses to be lifted. Sasami knew that making two wishes would be unfair, and that this was truly Mihoshi's wish (whoever that had been), but from the way Kiyone talked about her, Sasami felt like Mihoshi would want things this way.

"Wishing-card, I wish for all of the wishes uttered by these six people to be cancelled immediately, without any of the usual suffering that comes with such desires!"

Immediately, as she requested, a flash overcame the group. For awhile, they all froze in their places, the only real movement being the joyful separation of Tenchi from Ryoko.

"Hey! It worked!" shouted Tenchi. He gasped in surprise, and squealed to the heavens, "I can TALK!!!!!"

"It worked!" sang Ayeka. She gave her little sister a tight hug and praised the young girl with endless compliments. Soon, everybody was competing for a chance to pour their love and gratitude to Sasami--except for Washu, who had a test to run.

"Scuse' me for a sec," she said. The self-proclaimed genius placed her index finger on her forehead, and hastily muttered out something. "The square of the length of the hypotenuse of a right triangle equals the sum of the squares of the lengths of the two sides. …Joy! Rapture! I've got a brain!!"

"What the devil are you muttering, ya freak?" snorted Ryoko. Ayeka suddenly gasped out in joy and grabbed Ryoko's hands.

"Ryoko? Is that you?!"

"Hm? What's gotten into you, princess? You look like you're either drunk or high, and ya smell like it to."

"It IS you!!" squealed Ayeka, giving Ryoko a big hug. The space pirate's eyes bugged out in shock as her archrival embraced her, and was too speechless to make any comments. Only Tenchi broke their "moment" together by clearing his throat.

"…Umm, excuse me, Ryoko? Could you, uh, point your finger at me?" Confused, the space pirate mentally asked him why. She did point her finger at him, and carefully, Tenchi touched the tip of it with his own finger. The two didn't stick!

"Hey, it worked!" he smiled. "We didn't get stuck together! Hooray!!" Tenchi suddenly grabbed Ryoko in a hug, and together, he and Ayeka jumped up and down with the hapless space pirate in their arms. Poor Ryoko looked confused enough to vomit.

"So, everyone's wishes were cancelled out, then?" asked Kiyone in a quiet voice. "Then, where…?" Suddenly, the bathroom door broke down, and who else but Mihoshi crashed with it, her body half-covered in miscellaneous bathroom items. Everyone gazed at the blonde, groaned, and rolled their eyes, as if it had been that way forever, but Kiyone's reception was different. The aqua-haired officer scurried forth and squeezed Mihoshi in a powerful hug, crying her name out over and over and over again.

"Oh, Mihoshi! Mihoshi, Mihoshi! It's you, it's really you! Mihoshi, Mihoshi, Mihoshi!!"

"Owie!" moaned poor Mihoshi as she nursed a bruise. "That huuuuuurts! Kiyone…!" Kiyone, too hysterical to notice, kept on blubbering and sobbing over the return of her beloved partner, and buried her face in the girl's shoulder to absorb all that she had taken for granted.

"Mihoshi… ohm, precious Mihoshi… I missed you so much!" Poor dear sweet Mihoshi gave her partner a puzzled look--or, to be more accurate, a look more puzzled than what she usually expressed.

"Huh? Wow, was I really gone that long? It felt like I was in the bathroom for only a few minutes!" Kiyone, dear sweet Kiyone, couldn't stop the tears from flowing as she looked at her sweet partner. The poor police officer broke down and squeezed the woman even tighter, and whispered words of apology and regret and longing. Slowly, Mihoshi accepted the fact that her partner was welcoming her back from…… wherever she had been, and hugged her back with that same childish smile.

"I'm glad you missed me so much!" she exclaimed. "Did everybody else miss me?"

Silence.

"Uhhh………… yeaaahhh…" managed Tenchi. Mihoshi giggled at the halfhearted remark and rubbed her cheek against her partner's face like a puppy would. The scene was just too touching and tender for words; poor Ryoko was now officially sick.

"…Uhhh… could somebody please tell me what's going on?" she asked. Both Tenchi and Ayeka smiled at her confused state.

"We'll tell you all about it later, dear friend," said Ayeka gently. She placed her hand on her rival's shoulder and smiled. Ryoko, not adjusted to such kindness, merely gave the princess an inquisitive face.

It…… seemed like everything was going to be okay.

Epilogue: Wishes Really Do Come True! …sort of

After the events of the past month or two, the six girls and their gentlemanly friend tried to go on as best they could, but they all discovered in their own individual ways that they had truly gained something from the experiences. It was true that all their wishes had backfired on them in the worst way… but maybe it was for the better. After all, most of them now looked at things in an entirely new light.

After understanding Ryoko's feelings for him, Tenchi tentatively began to think of the space pirate as more than just a friend. The two began to seriously see each other on more private terms, Tenchi being glad that Ryoko was back to "normal" and not made out of glue, and Ryoko just plain glad. Needless to say, the space pirate preferred just being herself. Sasami remained as bright and chipper as ever, but now she had an advantage: whenever she felt like too many people were pestering her, she would threaten to make another wish, and that would usually quiet things up for her.

Ayeka grew to understand and respect Ryoko for who she was, and the two eventually subsided their distaste for each other and turned it into friendship. They could still be seen bickering every once in awhile, but it almost never got to the point of the senseless screaming and name-calling battles they had waged so many times before. Ayeka could still become irritated at Ryoko's lack of civility, but the space pirate also began to make an attempt towards sophistication, even going so far as apologizing or excusing herself for rude actions.

Washu began to take her genius seriously, and used every cell in her brain for what the sciences were truly created for: the betterment of humankind. She also began to consider starting a charity that would help people with mental illnesses, and also vowed to spend less time in the lab and more time with the people who care for her. Her insane ways still remained, of course, but they became much more loveable and cute than in previous years. She planned to one day track down Phineas Blin for either experimentation purposes… or merely the pleasure of torturing him. She was hoping for the latter.

As for Kiyone and Mihoshi, their relationship blossomed into a more beautiful and fragrant flower of a friendship than anything nature could produce. Mihoshi remained as clueless and clumsy and cowardly as ever, yet Kiyone was forever at her side, forgiving her friend for her errors, teaching her when she mentally went astray, patiently tending to her inner and outer wounds when she was hurt, and comforting her when things got rough. Unfortunately, Kiyone's kindness couldn't save Mihoshi from being fired from GP, but the cheerful woman found even better employment, in a place where she could mix and mingle with people of similar thought and mind to her own.

Mihoshi ended up running a day-care center.

Strangely enough, even though she never said it aloud, Mihoshi's wish came true as well. It seemed as if she would be with her partner always, through times dark and sunny, until the very end, and perhaps beyond.

Some time later, as Tenchi was sweeping the path free of leaves, a funny little man dressed in red and white trotted up to him. He had a derby hat on his head, a mustache on his lip, and had glowing eyes in his sockets. A grin was on his mouth and in his hands, he held a cane.

"Why hello, young master!" greeted the man. Tenchi recognized him instantly.

"Hey, you're that guy that sold us those wishing-cards!"

"Phineas T. Blin, at your service," grinned the man. "So, young man, it seems my pathways have taken me to see you yet again! Truly this is a rare occurrence that only happens once in a lifetime! Now, boy, listen carefully, for what I have to tell you will be more amazing than anything you've ever heard before!"

"I doubt it," he muttered. Phineas smiled anyway.

"It has come to my attention that you have yet to use a wish," he said carefully. "Now don't get me wrong, I know about that little matter with your sticky friend. But I also know about the last wish you made, the one the little girl said. It cancelled all the others out, did it not?" A pause.

"Yeah, so?"

"Well then, your wish was technically cancelled with them," he pointed. "You wanted to be unstuck from your friend, but since the wish was cancelled, you should be stuck to her again, correct? Yet her wish was also cancelled, which negates everything on your card and resets it, giving you a whole new wish! What do you say to that?!" Tenchi stared at the man in disbelief, but had to admit that he was right. If he had wished to be unstuck to Ryoko, and she had been sticky, but her wish unstuck her, then…… Well, it was too much to think about. The point was, Tenchi had another wish to use, all on his own.

Slowly, the young man reached into his pocket, and found the card still there, a remnant of times gone by. He looked at the circle, still as red and active as ever, and then he looked at Phineas, who was also very red and very active. He didn't need long to consider his next move.

"…I'll tell you what I think, Mr. Blin!" he stated. "I wish that you would go away forever, and never come back here to bother us or anyone else, ever again!"

Needless to say, Tenchi's wish was instantly granted.

The End