Lost Causes, Angels, and Redemption

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Bellamy stood at the edge of a campfire, turning a knife over and over in his hands. He replayed everything that had happened in the last 24 hours. All the things he'd said, all the things he'd done as well as those he hadn't been able to do.

Take a look at him, he's a lost cause.

Would she have tried so hard to save a wounded prisoner if it had been someone else? If it had been Bellamy? There were few things on Earth or in space Bellamy Blake was afraid of, but knowing Clarke could be capable of choosing not to save him was one of them.

You don't have the guts to make the hard choices. I do.

He'd sat beside Atom wondering how he was going to do what had to be done. And she had appeared, like an angel of peaceful death and his only salvation from killing his friend. She did have the guts to make the hard choices. And someday she could choose that he wasn't worth saving. He knew deep down his biggest fear was her being able to walk away from him without looking back.

He was a lost cause and they both knew it. He saw it in her eyes when she tried to tell him they needed the wristbands. He saw it when he held her above the spear pit. She didn't think he would save her, that he had enough good in him to care. But care he did. God, he cared what Clarke thought of him and that was going to be the real death of him on this godforsaken planet.

"Are you okay?" His head snapped up and out of his thoughts when he heard her voice. She'd appeared suddenly like she had before. He looked at her face and realized she actually cared about his answer to her question, she cared how he was. Why?

"Doesn't Jasper need you, Doc?"

She walked closer to the fire and stood looking up at him, the fire and moon shining on her hair and face. "Jasper is doing much better, in case you were wondering. And I'm no more a doctor than you are a leader."

Her response shook him. "Well, aren't you one for kicking a guy when he's down." It was a statement, not a question. He knew just what she thought of him.

Her eyes dropped to the fire and then came back to his with a guilty look. "I'm sorry, Bellamy. Truly. I know today was a hard day for you. I'm sure Atom was a good friend to you."

"It's fine, Angel. I should be thanking you for your help. You have more…strength than I gave you credit for."

He'd called her Angel, not Princess. He must be losing it. She stepped closer to him anyway and placed her hand on his arm. He was floored as he looked down at the remarkable woman in front of him. "You're the strongest person I know, Bellamy. And the most foolish most of the time. You're not afraid of anything. I envy that."

"I can tell you one thing I'm afraid of."

"What's th-?"

Her question was cut off as his lips suddenly touched hers, fierce but gentle at the same time. He hadn't expected her to push him away but he hadn't expected her to respond so quickly either. Her arms wound up and around his neck, not an easy task with his height. He cupped her hip with one hand while the other cradled the back of her head.

They both pulled back from the kiss gasping for air, but didn't pull away from each other. He smirked as he looked down at her and said, "I was afraid I was a lost cause." The vulnerability in his voice belied the easy expression decorating his features. Clarke knew he was asking for confirmation of something, of what she didn't know. She tried to assure him the best she could.

"No, Bellamy. You're not lost, I think you're very much found."

The forwardness of her implicit message of ownership surprised him, but it didn't chafe against his callous nature like he thought it would. She seemed to be saying what he never thought he'd hear, she wanted to be near him.

Maybe all a lost cause needed for redemption was an angel.