Alright, my lovelies. By now you all know that I've started reworking and adding to this story. I adored this basic plot, but what I had posted just needed SO much work that it was driving me crazy. I had plot holes, and illogical twists in there and I couldn't stand to work on it unless those were fixed. So, I started rewriting it, and I'll be re-posting as I go. I'm sorry for any inconvenience this may cause, but I hope that you'll find this new version to be even better than the first. I know that I do.

This rewritten form will be the story in it's final state. It's more detailed, and reworked to fit my original thought process better.

I hope you all continue to love this story as much as I do.

The first three chapters are already redone.

Love always, Hayley

Ch.1

Cassandra July sat up at the dinner table, eating with her daughter, Rachel. Rachel's other mom, Shelby, was still at work. It was a Friday night, so the show that Shelby was currently running in, ("Chicago", as Velma Kelly) was scheduled to run its usual time—Shelby wouldn't likely make it home until after 9, if she went straight to her car after the performance. However, there wasn't a doubt in Cassandra's mind that Shelby would go to Sardi's with her cast members afterwards, as a late-night celebration dinner. Shelby performing eight shows a week was hard on the entire family, but it was routine by now, and Cassandra was growing used to nights like these. Rachel still had a hard time adjusting to them.

The little girl dipped her French fries in ketchup, getting the red tomato sauce all over her face. She giggled, "Look, Mama!" she grinned, reaching out for a napkin.

Cassie beat her to it with an amused expression. "I see that, Rachie. My little mess maker." She wiped off Rachel's face. The five-year-old was always so full of life, and easily amused. Cass glanced up at the clock and sighed, doubting Shelby would make it home before she decided to turn in for the night. Does she even care how much we miss her when she's gone? I'm starting to think she loves her career more than she loves us…

The lonely dancer was pulled out of her reverie when she noticed that Rachel's long brown hair (she got it naturally, from Shelby), was trying to mix in with her food. With a small smile, Cassandra got out of her seat and walked over towards her little one, pulling a hair tie off her wrist so she could pull Rachel's hair into a quick messy bun.

"Mama…" Rachel complained, squirming—she hated having her hair put up. Much like her brunette mother, she preferred to keep it down and flowing over her shoulders.

"Hold still, munchkin," Cassandra insisted, finishing the bun. She placed a kiss on the back of Rachel's head. "There. Didn't want your hair covered in ketchup, did you? Now, finish your dinner…"

Rachel took another bite of her veggie burger—Shelby had insisted on raising her to be vegetarian, claiming it was healthy and necessary. Cassandra had always scoffed, because neither she nor Shelby were vegetarian themselves, but agreed to go along with it for the sake of avoiding unnecessary arguments. After Rachel was born, the two women had slowly started converting to the lifestyle themselves, and Cassandra had to admit that it was tolerable, to some extent, and it admittedly made her body feel better. That was, of course, if she got enough protein during the day.

"Is Mommy gonna sing me to sleep tonight?" Rach asked, her mouth full of burger. Shelby would have scolded the young girl for speaking with her mouth full, but Cass was less strict about things like that. Where both women had grown up in orderly households, Shelby took some of those characteristics into adulthood with her. Cassandra, on the other hand, had grown to resent most of the childhood lessons about "class" that she had been taught.

"I'm not sure, Rach." Cassie glanced at the clock again—it was already 7:30. "Mommy might be too tired…You know she has to keep her voice rested when she isn't on stage…"

Rachel swallowed her bite, yawned, and sighed dramatically.

"That's what you said last night."

"I know, Rach."

And the night before, Cassandra thought bitterly. She felt horrible for having to tell this to Rachel again. She hated that Shelby was never home to spend time with them. When Shelby was in "Wicked", and even during her run as Maria in "West Side Story", Cass could take Rachel to the shows once a week—something everyone enjoyed. But Cassandra and Shelby both agreed that "Chicago" was too risqué to expose to a five-year-old, even though she wouldn't understand a word of it. On opening night, "Aunt" Holly Holliday watched Rachel so Cass could see Shelby perform. Cassandra had been immediately seduced, and was a bit upset that she wouldn't be able to see something like that every night, (Shelby Corcoran in a sexy Velma Kelly outfit and dancing like that was definitely something she always wanted to see). But staying at home with Rachel was worth it. If only Shelby thought the same.

After dinner, Cass did the dishes and watched Funny Girl with Rachel (it was the young girl's favorite movie—a distraction until Shelby got home). Rachel happily sat in Cassandra's lap and Cass braided and unbraided her hair while the little girl sang "Don't Rain on My Parade" with gusto. She might have been young, but she was already a star—always in tune and wonderfully theatrical. Shelby gave her singing lessons when she found the spare time, and Cass taught her dance to give her a leg up when it came to her theatrical education.

Just as the movie was ending, a key turned in the lock. The front door swung open and Shelby stepped through it, tossing her keys and purse onto the counter, and ripping off her heels. Her feet sore and her body tired, she padded over towards Cass and pecked her on the lips before kissing Rachel's forehead. Excitedly, Rachel latched on to Shelby's neck and Shelby picked her up.

"Mommy!"

"Hey, Baby girl!" she nuzzled her nose against Rachel's before casting Cassandra a furtive look. "I'm sorry I'm late again, baby."

"It's okay," Cassandra lied, pretending to be interested in the end credits of Funny Girl—as if she hadn't been forced to watch it every day, and didn't know all the actors' names.

"Baby," Shelby's voice was low, apologetic, sultry. She sat down next to Cass and kissed her cheek. "I really am sorry... I'll make it up to you," she slid a suggestive hand up her partner's leg. Cass shivered, willing her body not to react to the motion. It did anyways. She crossed her arms and her legs, flicked the movie off, and didn't say a word. After a moment of Shelby's staring, Cassandra spoke,

"Go tuck our daughter into bed," her tone was monotonous. Tired. She was tired of going through this all the time, and she was sick of having to lie to Rachel about where she figured Mommy really was, because she didn't know the right answer herself. Cass turned her attention to her adopted daughter. "Come kiss me goodnight, Rachie."

Rachel squealed with delight as Cassandra pulled her into her arms and showered her with hugs and kisses. "I love, love, love, love, love you!" Cassie told her.

Rachel giggled. "I love you more, Mama!" she exclaimed.

"Nobody loves anybody more than I love you, my Rachel," Cassie promised her.

"Uh huh!"

"Nuh uh!"

"Uh huh!"

"Nuh uh!" Cassie laughed and handed her off to Shelby. "Go climb in bed, munchkin, and Mommy will tuck you in."

"Okay!" Rachel seemed content with this answer, pleased that Shelby had even made it home to do so. She loved when her Mama got to put her to bed, but it was rare that her Mommy got to any more. This was a treat for her.

Shelby's gaze never left Cassie's as she walked to Rachel's room, following right behind the little one. "We'll talk," she promised her partner, before disappearing from sight.

"Yeah," Cass whispered in disbelief as she made her way towards the kitchen, not sure that the two of them "talking" was going to make any difference. She carried with her the mess that was left in the living room, and tidied up to pass the time and distract her mind. After about fifteen more minutes, Shelby met Cassandra at the kitchen counter.

"We didn't go out or anything, but I had to stay after and go to a meeting…"

"A meeting, at 9pm? I'm not dense, Shelby. You could at least try to be a better liar…" Cassandra rolled her eyes and refused to look at the woman she'd once called the love of her life. Although Shelby was still just that to Cassandra, that was a fact Cassie was finding harder to admit to herself as of late. It hurt too much to think that Shelby no longer felt the same way.

"Baby, come on," Shelby's dazzling green eyes turned soft as she wrapped her arms around Cassandra's waist. Shivers went down Cass's spine at Shelby's touch, regardless of her anger. "Don't be like that, you know I don't always have control over what happens after a show…come on, come take a shower with me and we can relax…let me reduce all that stress you must be feeling...hmm?" she raised an eyebrow and placed a tender kiss on Cass's neck. Cassandra let Shelby slip her hands up under her tank top and pull it off her, against her better judgement. She was so mad at Shelby, but at the same time she craved a comfort that only Shelby could provide. The shirt was discarded on the floor and the two guided one another to the bathroom. Clothes were lost in haste and a heat of rushed, angry kisses. Frustration, and sadness, they were better emotional fuel than feeling nothing at all, and at this point that was something Cassandra could live with.

They let the hot water cascade down each other, mending broken promises. Shelby's body served as a distraction from her actions, something Cassandra always felt guilty for once their moments of passion were over and Shelby's late-night shenanigans were forgiven.

Shelby massaged shampoo into Cassandra's long blonde hair.

"I love you," she whispered.

"I know," Cassandra responded, her voice just as low. There was a beat. Some days she wasn't sure she did know this, but that was something she was willing to set aside for another night. She was tired and didn't want to fight. "I love you, too." There was a silence. "Rachel really missed you tonight. She's excited about her voice lesson tomorrow."

A beat of hesitation was all that Cassandra needed to determine that Shelby's voice lesson with her daughter had been the last thing on her mind. "Shit, that's right."

Cassandra rolled her eyes, her stomach tightening in anger. What would her excuse be this time? I can only cover for you so many times before your daughter starts to think you don't like her anymore, for Christ's sake. I can only teach her so much about voice, too, that isn't my field, dammit.

"Don't tell me you forgot again?" Cassie spat furiously, her previous promise to herself to stay peaceful shattering along with her heart. She turned around to face Shelby and crossed her arms over her chest. "One of these days I hope that your daughter will be placed a bit higher up on your list of priorities, Shelby, because she isn't getting any younger."

"No, of course I didn't forget, it just…It temporarily slipped my mind when I agreed to do a photoshoot with the cast tomorrow...But it's really not a big deal, I mean, I can pull some strings, and—"

"No, no, don't bother, it'd be so much easier to just reschedule Rachel's voice lesson. What's one person when you have an entire group of people to answer to?" Sarcasm dripped from Cassandra's tone, and Shelby knew she'd screwed up big time. Again.

Shelby let out a long breath and shook her head. "Oh, honey, relax. It really isn't that big of a deal, I can change the timing of the photo shoot, and…"

"Or, here's an award-winning idea, you could cut the entire photoshoot and spend a day with your daughter, for once, because you know what? It IS a big deal. Those lessons are important to Rachel," Cassandra growled, shoving open the shower curtain and stepping out of the tub, wrapping a towel around her body. "I know sometimes that's something that completely slips your mind on your narcissistic rise to the top, but your daughter actually enjoys your company, still. I wish I could say the same for myself, but every time you come home late and open your mouth I just want to plug my ears and scream."

"Cass." Shelby's voice was stern and she smacked the water off, climbing out of the tub to follow her partner. "CASSANDRA."
Cassandra ignored her, stomping to their bedroom and drying off, throwing on the first clothes she found—a pair of sweat pants, another tank top, and an NYU sweatshirt. She heard the water in the bathroom shut off with a slam and Shelby was fast to follow, dressing quickly as she spoke.

"Cassie, baby, please don't let it be like this tonight. I was really hoping to just cuddle with you and kiss you and everything would be okay. The show tonight was rough, and I was so happy to just make it home to you. I would've been here sooner, but the stage door was packed and I had to find another way out of the theatre…I know I've been really sidetracked after shows lately, but I've tried to be better at coming right home." She finished getting dressed and stood directly in front of Cassandra, placing her hands on the woman's waist. "And I plan to give Rachel her voice lesson tomorrow, I promise I'll spend time with her—"

"Well I am so very sorry things didn't go the way you planned for them to, tonight," Cassandra sounded anything but sorry. "But see, here's the thing. When you have to promise me that you're going to spend more time with your daughter, you have a serious problem."

"Baby, lower your voice, you're going to wake her up…" Shelby worried, her heart thumping a little harder. She hated fighting with Cassandra about this, and lately that was all they ever did.

"Oh, so now you care about her?" Cassandra demanded, shoving Shelby's hands away from her hips. "GO. Go to your damned meeting tomorrow, because you're just going to rush your time with Rachel and that's only going to upset her more. Don't torture yourself spending any time with us, we'll be fine here by ourselves. Your cast and fans need you, after all, how could they ever survive a second without you?" "Cassandra, just STOP, okay? I know I've been really busy recently and doing eight shows a week has been hard on you two, I know that—"

"HOW Shelby? HOW would you know because you're NEVER home!" Cassandra's blue eyes widened in anger and pain. She was sick of Shelby ditching her and Rachel the sake of her "career", if that was the real reason for her constant disappearances. Cassandra wasn't entirely convinced that Shelby wasn't seeing somebody on the side, but to admit that was too much of a feat for Cassandra at the time. She knew she could only handle one big battle with Shelby at once, though added up, this felt like one giant war. A war that Cassandra wasn't likely to win.

"It pays the bills, Cassie! I don't see YOU working!"

"You don't see me working? Because a stay-at-home mom isn't enough of a job? I'm doing YOUR job. I'm taking care of your daughter while you bask in the limelight."

"You know what, Cassandra? I don't want to play the pity game, right now. You. Had. Your. Chance. You blew it, and that isn't anybody's fault but your own. Someone had to support this family once you came tumbling off the theatrical ladder. If you think you can place the blame on me because no one wants to hire you—" Shelby usually didn't dare bring up the Crazy July incident out of respect for Cassandra and her regretful life decisions. The two of them worked as a team, and to make Cassandra feel bad for staying at home with Rachel was not one of Shelby's finer moments, she knew. She was just so upset. She'd been doing her best to juggle everything life was throwing at her, and to try to explain everything to Cassie was just…not possible.

"I'm blaming YOU because you're a horrible mother!" Cassandra broke. "All you've ever done is put us second. Family is ALWAYS supposed to come first. Why is that so hard for you to understand?" her voice cracked as she asked her final question, her eyes tearing up although she willed them not to with all of her might. "Who are you seeing on the side that means more to you than us? Who is she, Shelby? Why—Why do you love her more than you love me?"

Their fights had never been pushed this far, and Cassandra knew, deep down, that this was the point of no return. The fiery, hopeless look in Shelby's eyes said it all. Both women were at a loss of what to say, and nothing that either one of them did was going to fix the feelings that had been broken during this feud. Shelby dropped her jaw, shocked by Cassandra's accusation, and Cassie bit her lip to stop it from quivering. Never had she tried to address what she figured had been going on all along, and she already regretted asking about it.

"You know what?" Shelby let out a long, shaky breath, knowing that Cassandra couldn't handle the truth. Shelby wasn't entirely sure she could have managed to properly explain the truth at this point, either. Instead, she squared her shoulders, took a deep breath, and made the hardest decision she'd ever had to make. "I'm DONE. I can't do this anymore."

"Can't do what, Shelby?" Cassandra sped after Shelby as the woman had turned to walk away almost as hurriedly as she'd said her piece. "Shelby don't you DARE walk away from me, get back here," she grabbed for Shelby's arm to pull her back, and Shelby yanked it out of Cass's grasp just as quickly, knocking the woman to the floor. There was a loud thump when Cassandra tried to catch herself.

"Mommy?!" Rachel shrieked, hearing the noise. She stirred from her restless slumber and came running out into the hall, where Cassandra lay on the floor, shocked beyond words.

"Rachel, munchkin," Cass spoke once she took a moment to compose herself and got back on her feet. "Go back to bed, okay? Mama will be right there..."

"What's going on? Why is there yelling? Did you fall?" the ever-curious youngster asked her many questions.

"Rachel baby, please go back to bed," Shelby said softly, her tone completely changed from the way she had previously spoken to her lover.

"But—" Rachel tried to protest.

"GO TO BED." Shelby said louder.

"Don't you DARE yell at her like that," Cassie turned on Shelby. "Who are you to talk to her with that tone of voice?"

"I am her mother," Shelby reminded Cassandra. "Just because I work a lot does not take that title away from me."

"Oh, are you? I'm glad you finally decided to be something to her, what a relief."

"Why are you fighting?" Rachel started to cry, covering her face with her hands so she didn't have to see her mommies so angry. Cassandra rushed over to her and picked her up, holding her close. Rach buried her head into Cassandra's neck and cried. "Shh. It's okay, honey. Mommy and I are just having a disagreement, it'll be okay. Come on, let's get you back into bed…"

She carried Rach to her room, willing herself not to cry right along with the five-year-old. She knew she had to be strong, or she would scare Rachel even more. She thought about calling Holly and having her come over, but she didn't want to bother her so late at night. Besides, she knew that she wasn't done fighting with Shelby—this was the worst they had ever had—and Holly didn't need to get in the middle of that.

It scared her, whatever Shelby meant by "I'm done, I can't do this anymore..." did that mean….it couldn't mean…that she was going to leave them? Although Cassandra and Rachel spent a lot of time without Shelby at home with them, Cass wasn't sure how she would get by if Shelby actually left. Shelby truly was the love of Cassandra's life, and they hadn't lived without one another since they'd been in college. The thought of Shelby going away…it was too much.

Cass tucked Rach back into bed and kissed her forehead, whispering, "I'm really sorry that Mommy and I are talking so loud, Rachie. It'll be over soon, okay, I promise? Hold on to your blanket, and if we get too loud just plug your ears and sing Hushabye Mountain, okay?"

Rachel nodded her head. "Why are you sad?"

"Mommy's just had a long day…but I have to get back to her now, and you need to get some sleep. Okay, honey?"

Rachel nodded, understanding without really understanding. "I love you, Mama."

"I love you too, Rachie…" Cass kissed her head again before exiting the room, speed walking back down to her bedroom only to find Shelby throwing her things into her suitcase, haphazardly. Cassandra's eyes watered and she couldn't force the tears back this time as she realized what was happening. Her stomach tightened into knots that made her want to scream. This was surreal. She watched the scene in front of her in slow motion. This couldn't be happening. Not to her. Not tonight. Not ever.

"Shelby, sweetheart, what are you doing?" Cassandra's voice was a whisper. A pleading whisper.

"I'm leaving." Shelby threw a few more things into her bag and stepped away to the bathroom to grab more of her stuff.
"I have to go."

"Excuse me? Go where?" Cass sounded a lot braver than she felt.

"I can't juggle both, Cassie." Her explanation was poor, she knew, but her reasonings were bigger than the both of them, and that wasn't something that either one of them could fix, ever. She hated what she was doing to Cassandra and Rachel and she wasn't going to sit back and watch them suffer because of her anymore. Maybe once she left, they wouldn't feel like they were being dragged around by their feelings for her anymore. It was better for everyone if she just...did what she knew she had to do. Regardless of the consequences.

"You can't juggle both so you're choosing your career over your daughter? Over your lover?" Cassandra yelled angrily. Hot tears blurred her vision as she tried to make sense out of anything Shelby was saying. If she could just see into her mind and figure out why she was doing this…was she choosing another woman over them? The woman she was possibly seeing on the side?

"You've practically raised her anyways, isn't that what you just told me? She doesn't need me, you're always mad at me, this way everyone wins." Shelby bit her tongue and wiped her tears quickly, so Cassandra wouldn't notice them. Cass had to believe this was a decision that Shelby wanted to make. If Cass thought for a second that she could win Shelby back, she would do everything in her power to try. That wasn't something that Shelby thought she could be stronger than.

"You don't love me enough to stay? You don't love RACHEL enough to try to make things work?" Cassandra begged, losing all senses of dignity and the hard-ass fighter she'd felt like earlier.

Shelby took a breath. "How? I can't have both, Cassandra, I don't expect you to understand." You wouldn't get it. That's why I have to leave. "I'm not going to do this with you anymore. I'm leaving. Now."

"You just assume I wouldn't understand, Shelby, we've been through so much together and whatever it is you haven't told me, I'll understand. We can work things out. We can talk it through, just like we always have…" Cassandra's tears poured down her face and Shelby bit her cheek so hard she could feel a sore forming, fighting back tears of her own. Her face turned red as she finished her second suitcase, grabbing her coat and putting on her heels. Cassandra knew it was a lost cause. Shelby had made up her mind. So instead of staying sad, the woman turned angry all over again. "FINE! GO THEN! You obviously aren't the woman I fell in love with. The Shelby I knew would have worked her ass off to pull off that happy medium. How could you be so damn selfish?! Choosing your career over us…I know Broadway has always been your dream, Shelby, but Rachel was always part of that dream, too…."

She continued to yell as Shelby made her way out the front door. She couldn't let herself turn back—she couldn't let Cassandra to see how badly it was hurting her, and she couldn't fight anymore. She was breaking and that was something that Shelby Corcoran never did. She reached the door and opened it angrily.

"You're not even going to say goodbye to her?" Cassandra asked, her tone lowered, feeling defeated.

Shelby spun around and locked eyes with Cassandra for the first time that night. Cassie's beautifully strong, ocean blue eyes were red with pain that Shelby knew she had created. It killed her to know that she inflicted so much hurt on to the people she loved more than anything else in the world. That was why she knew she had to leave—so she couldn't hurt them anymore. Because no matter what she did, she knew she was going to.

"I have to come back for the rest of my things eventually. I'll…I'll say goodbye to her then. I'll grant you full custody." Although Shelby's voice was steady, her hands were shaking.

"We're not broken. We can fix this. Please, Shelby, just come to bed. We'll sleep on it like we always do and wake up in better moods tomorrow, we can put this whole fight behind us…we're okay…"

Shelby's face hardened. "No, we're not," she admitted, sadly. "I've ruined everything, and there's nothing I can do to fix it. Not right now…" Don't show her you're just as sad as she is, you know she'll convince you to stay…

And she just couldn't stay.

She turned back to face the door, "Goodbye, Cassandra." And slammed it behind her, forcefully. With purpose.

"NO!" Cassandra stormed after her, screaming, "YOU DON'T GET TO JUST WALK OUT, SHELBY CORCORAN. DON'T YOU DARE LEAVE US! YOU CAN'T DO THIS!"

"Goodbye, Cassandra-"

"NO!" she chased Shelby down the street until she couldn't anymore—Shelby was too far gone, and her car was much faster than Cassie's own two feet could carry her. Feeling like shattered glass—feeling dead on her feet, and like for the first time she didn't know what to do with herself, Cass made her way back to her apartment and crawled into her bed, letting the tears fall. She sobbed loudly, a scream emitting from her throat. The love of her life had given up on them. Shelby was gone.

Rachel stood at the doorway of her mothers' bedroom, confused tears falling down her little face. She dragged her favorite blanket behind her—it was fuzzy and white with gold stars. She climbed into bed with Cassandra.

"Mama?" she asked.

Cassandra couldn't breathe long enough to answer her, she just wrapped her arms around her little girl and cried.

"Don't cry, Mama. It's okay. You and Mommy will kiss and make up like always. She'll make breakfast and kiss us goodbye before her show!"

She couldn't understand why Cassandra couldn't function. Her Mama was shaking violently, terrified, and very clearly upset. Tears soaked the pillow she clutched under her face, and she pulled Rachel closer.

For a while, Rachel simply laid with her, unsure what to do. Cassandra's tears didn't stop, and though she knew she was scaring Rachel and needed to calm down, she couldn't manage to do so.

Eventually, Rachel got out of bed and found the home phone in the living room. She dialed her Aunt Holly's number, not realizing how late at night it was and that it wasn't genuinely a good time to receive a call.

Holly's cell went off next to her, making her jump and startling her awake. She saw that it was Shelby and Cassie's number and answered it immediately, "What's up, buttercup?" her tone was cheerful despite the late hour.

"Auntie Holly, something's wrong with Mama…" Rachel said quietly into the phone.

That got Holly's attention immediately and she shot up in her bed, already putting on a jacket and a pair of shoes. "What's wrong with your Mama, Rach? What's going on?"

"Mama and Mommy were shouting real loud, then Mommy left and now Mama won't stop crying…she won't move from bed…"

Oh god, no. Holly thought to herself. They couldn't have broken up—Shelbs couldn't have left, they loved each other too much…

"I'll be right there, baby girl. Give me ten minutes."

"Okay…" Rachel was intelligent, for a five-year-old, and although she couldn't gauge just how long ten minutes was, she knew that Holly would be the only one to make Mama feel better, if Mommy couldn't do it.

Holly stuck to her promise and let herself into the apartment once she arrived—she could hear Cassandra's choked sobs from the front door which confirmed her initial thought—it had happened. Shelby had really left. Jesus…poor Cassie…

She made her way to the bedroom and sat behind Cass, rubbing slow circles on her back. "Hey babe. Shhh. I know, I know it hurts…it'll be okay. We're gonna be okay. You're not going through it alone. Rach and I are both here…"

Rach laid up against Cassie and wrapped her blanket around her Mama, small tears starting to fall from her eyes, as well. Mama was scaring her and she wasn't sure what was going on, but she didn't like when her Mama was sad, and she'd never seen her this upset before.

The three girls sat in silence, save for Cassandra's exposed, broken heart.