Epilogue: Good Riddance to Bad Rubbish

"Your Royal Highness Crown Prince Francis Felipe Fergus Frederich Fenton Fraser Fabian Flavio Ferdinand,"

David paused for breath,

"Of the Kingdom of the Everlasting Mountain, you have been found guilty of the crime of attempting to administer a magic potion to Her Royal Highness Princess Emma for the purpose of circumventing her will, and as such, you have been sentenced to six months in prison, after which you will be returned to your kingdom and forever banished from the kingdom of Her Majesty, Queen Snow White. If you set foot within the borders of this kingdom you face immediate arrest and returned imprisonment for trespassing."

David folded his arms over his chest and looked at Francis, "Is that clear?"

Francis no longer looked like a proud noble. He stood next to the wagon that would transport him to the royal prison, dressed in plain clothes and with his hands and feet shackled. His face was red and furious, and he glared at all who had assembled to witness his departure.

Hook stood ramrod straight next to Emma, hand on the hilt of his sword and a dark glare on his face. He saw Francis glance at them, taking in the way Emma's arm was threaded through his, and the Prince flushed even more.

"How do you not see it?" Francis demanded, looking back at David, "In all the tales about him, he is a villain. He will betray you and rob you blind the second your back is turned. Your daughter may be so foolish as to fall for his lies, but certainly you sir, as King, know better."

Emma stiffened, and Hook was sure that if he looked over at her he'd see the steam coming out of her ears. His fingers tightened, feeling the urge to pull the sword and press the point just under Francis's chin and make the bastard apologize for the insult.

"I know plenty, you idiot," David said, "I know how he helped find my grandson when he was kidnapped, how he saved my life, how he found my daughter when no one else could and brought her back to me and my wife, how he risked his life for all of us and helped defeat the Wicked Witch. You think he did all that for the chance to snatch a little gold?"

He took a step forward, grabbing Francis by the collar and pulling him forward, "And what did you just call my daughter?"

"David."

Charming turned at Emma's voice. She removed her arm from Hook's and threaded her hands together, cracking her knuckles, "I got this."

Hook looked at her and she flashed him a brilliant smile that made him go slightly weak in the knees. She looked back at Francis and the smile only grew bigger.

Hook felt his own smile break across his face. Francis was well and truly fucked now.

"You heard the lady," Hook said to David, "She's got this."

David released Francis and stepped away, nodding at Emma.

She advanced slowly, with a deliberate stride, and Francis's eyes went wide. He tried to step back but the leg irons prevented him from moving quickly enough to avoid her. Emma tilted her head at him.

"What did I say about insulting him in front of me?" she asked, her voice deceptively casual.

"Emma," Francis began, in a pleading tone.

"What. Did. I. Say?"

She punctuated each word with a sharp poke to Francis's chest that nearly sent him toppling over. Hook felt his smile grow wider. At one point in his life he would have thought it unmanly to stand back and let a woman defend his honour, but watching the fire that was Emma Swan burn the Prince, he felt a great swelling of masculine pride. She defended him not because he was incapable, but because she loved him, and any insult to him was an insult to her. She seemed to have completely skipped over Francis calling her a fool and was berating him for calling Hook a villain again.

"And that's what you don't understand," Emma finished, "The villain in this tale, Fuckface, is you."

She stepped back and raised her hand. An incantation fell from her lips, and Francis's face turned from red to purple. He collapsed on the ground, curling up into himself with a pained moan that almost elicited Hook's sympathy. Almost.

Emma turned, a smile on her face, and walked back over to where Hook stood with his eyebrows raised.

"That was...colourful," he said, "Care to enlighten us on what exactly you did?"

"Oh," Emma replied, blowing on her nails and buffing them on her jacket, "Regina taught me that. I'm not sure exactly what it does, but apparently it feels like he just got kicked in the balls. A few dozen times."

His wince was echoed by all the men present and Regina nearly fell over laughing.

"Well done! And the rest of you, remember that I showed her that."

"Remind me never to tick you off," David said, watching Francis roll around in the dirt, "Get him out of here."

The guards pulled a wheezing Francis to his feet. Emma called out, "If I ever hear about you trying to slip potion to another girl, I will cut them off, do you hear me?"

Francis was bundled into the wagon, tears streaming down his face. Hook slipped his arm around Emma's waist as they watched the guards shoulder their weapons and set off, escorting the prisoner to his new home. He was pleased to hear more than one refer to the Prince as Fuckface instead of Francis. Clearly his efforts to ensure the moniker stuck were working.

"You know," he said, as everyone started to head back to the castle, Regina still laughing and all the men giving her a wide berth, "Fuckface was right about one thing."

"Oh," Emma turned to him, "What's that?"

Hook turned as well so that they were facing each other. He put his other arm on her hip and pulled her close.

"The day he met you, he looked at you and said, she's the one."

Emma looked up at him, biting her lip. She shifted closer and her nose bumped his.

"Hmm, the one who just opened up a big can of whoop-ass on him. I am that."

Hook laughed, "Yes, my love. You are. And you are the one for me. The only one."

Her arm curled around his neck and in the second before their lips met she breathed out, "Good."

End

That's all she wrote, folks! Thanks for sticking with me through this little idea I had, hope you all enjoyed!

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