Alice and Gaius had come to visit Merlin; they had been called by Hunith to say he was awake and that he was wishing himself dead. They hoped they could help Merlin in some way. They also hoped that he would continue to keep in touch with them he was their only contact with their dead daughter. It was with some trepidation that they went to his bedside.

Merlin was led with his eyes closed as they approached the bedside. They knew he was awake because they had just spoken to Hunith.

"Hello Merlin, its Alice and Gaius." They paused and Merlin slowly opened his eyes. At first Merlin didn't speak he just looked at them but then he quietly said in a very defeated voice.

"I'm sorry it was my fault, I should have just bought a ring and given it to her and now she's gone. I couldn't even go with her."

"Now son don't blame yourself, we all know she would have preferred to select the ring with you, and as for going with her she wouldn't have wanted that." Gaius spoke kindly but firmly, unshed tears in his eyes. He hated to see Merlin so. "You were the world to her and you gave her the best days of her life. She loved you so much."

"I want to go to her, but he saved me, he had no right." Merlin sounded angry.

"You might think that now but give it time Merlin, Arthur did what he had to and you'll understand that one day." Alice spoke "We are very glad he did we couldn't have born to lose you as well."

Merlin just looked at her and said nothing. Several moments later he asked

"When is the funeral?"

"We don't know yet the police haven't released her. Mr James has said we can keep the ring…." Before Gaius could finish speaking Merlin butted in.

"Only if I pay for it…..she loved that ring….can she wear it when she's b…." Merlin finally broke down and couldn't go on.

"Yes of course. I'll make sure she is." Gaius had hoped Merlin would say that.

The couple sat next to Merlin and held him as they cried together. Just before they left Alice put Freya's locket round Merlin's neck.

"Freya would have wanted you to have this. She had worn it since her mother died. She had put a picture of you both inside." Alice gave Merlin a peck on the cheek before turning to leave.

"We'll be back again soon, just call if you need us." Gaius squeezed Merlin's shoulder and left with his wife.

Merlin held on to the locket as he sobbed once more. He was still crying when his mother came back to his side. It was better than the quiet anger he had been showing before.

As they left the bedside and went down the corridor to the exit they saw Arthur. "Mr Pendragon Thank you for what you did for Merlin." Gaius wanted to make Arthur understand "We know Merlin seems ungrateful for his life, but it's only his grief speaking."

"I'm not so sure he will forgive me, but thank you anyway. I am so sorry about Freya she was a wonderful person." Arthur was grateful to the couple, even in their grief they thought of others. He shook their hands before moving away.

Gradually more and more of Merlin's friends and colleagues visited him. All were shocked at his bitterness towards Arthur for saving his life. Percy and Leon came to take his statement as soon as Arthur felt he was strong enough. Afterwards they tried to get him to see that Arthur had no choice and that one day Merlin would feel differently but to no avail. Merlin even told them that if they felt that way they needed to be Arthur's friends and not his.

Arthur was finding it difficult. He knew that he would do the same thing again but he was beginning to think that he had lost his closest friend. Gwen tried her best to cheer him up as did all their friends but Merlin's refusal to speak to him unless he had to, was wearing Arthur down.

On one of his visits to check Merlin's wounds the injured man turned on his best friend once again.

"Don't come near me, I want a different doctor. I never want to see your face again!" Merlin's face was contorted with anger.

Gwaine who was there tried to calm the situation but Merlin was insistent.

"That is your right Merlin, I'll ask Ms Annis to take over your care" with that Arthur walked out.

Gwaine ran after him "Arthur he doesn't mean it he'll come round give him time."

"I will Gwaine, but I don't think he will, look after him for me and in a couple of months when he is in a better place tell him I'm sorry but I wouldn't have done any different. He means too much to me." Arthur was clearly trying to hold it together.

"I will, and if he won't say it I will, thank you for saving him, thank you so much. I'll keep in touch and let you know how he's doing." Gwaine gave Arthur a hug and went back to Merlin's side.

When the police released Freya's body ,her adoptive parents arranged the funeral. Freya had been very interested in the Woodland burials so Alice and Gaius asked what Merlin thought he agreed. They chose a Rowan tree to mark the site as it had been Freya's favourite tree. The small brass plaque would just have her name and dates on. Ms Annis said Merlin could go out of hospital to attend, but still needed to come back for a couple more weeks. Two of the A&E nurses would go with him.

On the day of the funeral there was a large crowd of mourners, most of the town went to the church and lined the route. Merlin insisted on giving her eulogy. He was clearly devastated and totally heartbroken by her death.

It was family and close friends only at the Woodland Burial site. Percy and Leon went to represent the Police. Gwen and Morgana went but Merlin asked that Arthur didn't go. He didn't want to see his best friend. But Gaius and Alice over ruled him. To stop any problems Arthur kept out of Merlin's sight. It hurt him greatly that his best friend still was unable to come to terms with what had happened, and wouldn't forgive him but he hoped that sometime in the future they would once again resume their friendship.

At the time of the funeral Merlin still wished he had died with his soul mate and his grief was deep and bitter. Freya was buried with his ring on her finger and a photo of him and a lock of his hair in her coffin. In the locket round his neck were her photo and a small lock of her hair. The mourners left the grave side until in the end, Merlin was on his own. The nurses left him to pay his respects.

He fell to his knees and sobbed for the only woman he had ever loved. In the end Gwaine and Will had to move him from the graveside. Arthur watched from a distance wanting so much to offer his friend solace. Once back at the hospital he didn't speak, eat or drink for twenty four hours. He only then started once more when Gwaine told him that Hunith was suffering.

As soon as he was discharge he went back to the graveside and every day could be found there. Near his love.

The end