Forever: If Will Gardner Had Survived

Chapter 1

"Kalinda? What's going on?"

"Alicia…I'm really sorry."

"Sorry for what?" Alicia said, somewhat confused.

"Will's been shot," Kalinda said, finding it hard to get the words out of her mouth as she stood leaning against the circulation desk in the emergency room. "They just wheeled him into emergency surgery."

Alicia gasped, shocked and upset. "Where are you? Where is he?"

"Chicago General," Kalinda replied. "Look, Alicia, I'll call you back in a sec, okay?" She ended the phone call.

Eli saw Alicia's reaction, and said to her, "I'll introduce Peter. You go."

Alicia gave Eli his phone back, but didn't move. "Alicia," he said again, "Go." When she hesitated again, he said "Go!" And at that, Alicia grabbed her jacket, phone, and purse, and ran out to her car.

The drive to the hospital was nothing more than a blur of crosswalks, traffic lights, and taxi cabs. She pulled into the first parking spot she saw, and sprinted across the parking lot to the doors to the emergency room.

She entered in a room filled with craziness. Nurses and doctors were working at computers or running around tending to patients. Three trauma rooms could be seen on the other side of the hall. Restrooms were to her rights, elevators and more rooms to her left. She walked up to the nurse at the circulation desk, but as she began to speak, she found it hard to speak without getting emotional.

"Excuse me? I'm looking for Will Gardner."

The nurse paused as she typed a few things into her computer. "He's in surgery up on floor three. Room 309. You can take the elevators behind you."

"Thank you," Alicia said as she turned around to press the call button for the elevator. After she pressed the button, she heard a familiar voice. "Alicia?"

She turned, and Diane and Kalinda were walking towards her. "Where are you going?" Diane asked. "Will's in surgery."

"Yeah, the nurse said he's on floor three. I want to know that he's…he's…" Alicia was unable to finish as Diane embraced her. Alicia did all she could to stop herself from crying in front of the entire emergency room, but a couple of sobs made it out anyway.

The three women rode up the elevator together, and walked into a quiet hallway with a reception-type desk in front of them. Alicia scanned the walls for signs with room numbers, and found the one she was looking for at the right end of the room: Operating Rooms 301-310.

Alicia sprinted down the hallway, followed by Diane and Kalinda, who were both going at a fast walk. She saw the number on the door first. Below the room number was a piece of paper with somewhat scribbly writing, as if it had been put in the slot in a hurry. It read: Will Gardner. She looked through the small window in the door and saw multiple doctors and nurses working on an unconscious person lying on the operating table. There was a lot of blue, and a lot of blood.

Kalinda took her turn looking through the window after Alicia backed away in shock. She and Diane collapsed into two of the older-looking chairs on the opposite side of the hallway. They were brown with maroon cushions, but didn't coordinate at all with the sterile, white walls. She remained standing, because she was feeling awkwardly anxious.

A nurse came down the hallway from the entry area and asked Kalinda, Diane, and Alicia what they were doing outside an operating room. "Our friend is in there," Diana stuttered.

"Will Gardner?" the nurse asked. All three women nodded in response. "Let me check how much longer the surgery is going to take. I don't want you all to have to wait around for hours.

Well, she clearly thinks we all have better things to do, Alicia thought. I don't care if I have to wait overnight – I'm going to stay here until I see Will alive, and in the flesh.

The nurse returned less than a minute later, and after looking through the window she told the women, "He'll be moving to recovery in a few minutes – but he won't be conscious for a while."

Alicia looked up, feeling desperate. "Why? Shouldn't he come around after surgery?"

Before the nurse could say anything, one of the doctors dressed in blue appeared from inside the operating room.

"Good afternoon, ladies," he said in a very polite tone. "I'm afraid you won't be able to speak to Mr. Gardner for a while."

"What?" Diane asked. Kalinda and Alicia exchanged worried looks.

"We were able to remove all three bullets, but the one that entered Mr. Gardner's neck may have caused some severe damage to his brain. So, I have made the decision to put him in a medically-induced coma for the time being to give his body time to recover from the trauma and minimize the risk of brain damage.

"If, after a few days, Mr. Gardner appears to be stable, then we will bring him out of the coma and begin the next stage of his recovery."

Alicia's, Diane's, and Kalinda's hearts all sank. Alicia lifted her head, looked the doctor straight in the eye, and said, "Will he live?"

The doctor shifted his weight, then replied, "Yes, I expect that, with time, he will make a full recovery. Please believe me when I say that putting him in a medically induced coma for a while is the best thing we can do to help his brain right now. That said, you can come see him in his room if you like."

"Which room?" Alicia blurted out before she even thought about what she was saying.

"He'll be moved to room 324," the doctor replied. "I'll take you down there."

As Diane, Kalinda, and Alicia all stood up to follow the doctor, Alicia's phone vibrated in her pocket. She pulled it out, and sighed when she saw the caller ID: Peter Florrick. She hit 'Ignore,' not wanting to talk to Peter right now. Then, a few seconds later, her phone rang again – but this time the screen read Eli Golde. Annoyed, and wanting privacy, she hit 'Ignore' once again.

After walking through the reception area to the other hallway and making a couple of turns down other hallways, the doctor paused outside the door to room 324. A nurse came out of the room and said to the doctor, "Everything is in place, sir."

"Thank you, Anna," the doctor replied, and the nurse headed for the reception area. The doctor motioned for the women to go in first, and Alicia bolted in first.

What she saw was nothing like she'd expected. The patient on the hospital bed had a respirator in his mouth, heart rate monitor stickers around his chest, three IVs, and stitches and bandages in three different places. When she looked at the patient's face, her heart rose with relief: Will's face was there.

She reached to grab Will's left hand, but the doctor told her, "Please don't. Any external interaction might interfere with his brain's reaction to the drugs."

"Then when can I?" Alicia asked, tears coming to her eyes.

"Alicia, calm down," Kalinda said, holding Alicia's left arm. Diane didn't really say anything – she was so shocked to see her fellow managing partner unconscious and in a coma.

Alicia's phone vibrated again, but this time it was a text message from her daughter, Grace. Mom, are you ok? Zach and I were wondering where you are. Alicia was about to reply I'll be home soon when another message came in from Grace: Dad's here, and he's worried about you.

Did Eli tell him? Alicia wondered. Wait - of course he did – Peter would have asked Eli why I didn't introduce him at the luncheon. Great. She looked at the time on her phone and was shocked at what she saw: 3:35 pm. She had left the luncheon nearly ninety minutes ago. The time had passed so fast she didn't even notice. She sent a quick text to Grace, saying I'll be home in 30 mins, and turned to Diane and Kalinda. "I've got to get home," she said. "Grace and Zach are worried and Peter is at my apartment too apparently."

Diane and Kalinda, nodded and hugged Alicia goodbye. They both understood. "We'll let you know if anything changes," Kalinda assured Alicia.

"Please do," Alicia replied, almost immediately. After she got into her car, put the keys in the ignition, and locked the doors, she began to cry. After a minute or two, she dried her tears and drove home. When she pulled into the parking garage below her apartment complex, she looked at the ceiling of her car and said, "Oh, dear God Will, please live…I can't live without you."