"Daryl Dixon, if you ever try to touch me again, I'll get my girlie knife and chop off your balls." Beth squeezed his hand harder and pulled him closer, even as she ranted at him.

"Easy, girl. Just breathe through the pain," he murmured soothingly.

She snorted. "Breathing is bullshit. Some man came up with that idea to shut up his wife…ohhhh…" The curses flew from her mouth, thick and colorful enough to make a sailor blush. Daryl looked like he wanted to grin, but the death glare she shot him must have smothered the urge rather abruptly.

"Take a deep breath, sweetie," said Carol. "Lean forward a bit more to open your pelvis, and just pant him out."

"Okay," she said meekly, adjusting her squatting position to comply with Carol's suggestions.

"The hell? I tell you the same thing, and you yell at me like a banshee." Daryl rolled his eyes, though his hand applying welcome pressure to her lower back never wavered.

"Shh, it ain't about you," chided Maggie.

Daryl grimaced. "I know that, but it's my baby too. We're in this together."

"The fuck we are," said Beth before panting again. "We were in it together right until the first contraction. We'll be back in it together as soon as he's here. In the meantime, I'm the one trying to push this massive Dixon outta my vagina."

Daryl rubbed his ear. "You ain't gotta shout." The twinkle in his eye betrayed his amusement, and he stayed right by her side as she continued breathing and pushing slowly.

Beth groaned when the baby crowned. Carol's hands supported his head, and she talked her through the process of easing him out slowly, to keep from ripping. After what seemed like an endless moment of burning pain, his head slipped free, followed by his shoulders. A second later, Carol pulled the rest of him from her body, and soon held up a squalling Dixon boy.

"He's as loud as his mother," said Daryl with a big grin, taking the baby Carol offered him. "Told you he was a boy."

Beth rolled her eyes. "I never argued." Another contraction hit, and she bore down to deliver the placenta with a few slightly easier pushes.

The baby was fussing and nuzzling against Daryl's fingers. "I think he's anxious for some titty, girl."

"It's a good idea," said Carol. "It'll help shrink your uterus faster, and the sooner he starts, the sooner he'll be done."

Daryl let the baby keep his finger wrapped in his fist as he handed him carefully to Beth, who had just lain on the bed with Maggie and Michonne's help. "Shoot, Carol. He's a Dixon. He ain't never gonna be ready to give up the breasts."

Beth giggled, clearly feeling a bit better. "He sure is a Dixon. He looks just like you, Daryl."

Daryl seemed flushed with pride. "He's a handsome devil all right, but he's got yer eyes."

"You think?" She started to peel up an eyelid when another pain hit. "Ouch. How long does this shrinking last, Carol?"

Her impromptu midwife shrugged. "It depends. Nursing makes them more productive, but they hurt worse too."

Another sharp pain hit, and she gasped, dislodging the baby in the process. He squalled as her nipple rolled from his mouth. "Shit. This feels just like labor."

Carol looked concerned. "Daryl, take the baby. Maggie and Michonne, help Beth hold her legs up so I can see what's going on."

Beth grunted with pain when they lifted her legs, and then grunted again when Carol put a hand inside her. "What's wrong? Am I hemorrhaging?"

Carol probed carefully before shaking her head. "Get her back on her feet and squatting, ladies. Beth's about to deliver another one."

"Twins?" asked Daryl, clearly awed.

"You have to be fucking kidding me," said Beth with a moan. She wasn't opposed to two babies. A hundred would be fine, as long as no more of them insisted on exiting her body. Following Carol's directions, she pushed and breathed through several more rounds of contractions.

"Okay, lie back for just a second, Beth. I think he's in the wrong position, so I might need to turn him a bit."

"Breech," whispered Maggie, looking terrified.

Carol nodded, her mask of calm never slipping. "It's okay. I'm pretty confident I know what to do. Women have delivered breech babies for thousands of years before modern obstetrics decided it automatically required a caesarian." Patting Beth's tummy gently, she said, "Worst case scenario is we have to do a caesarian. You know we have all the supplies, including the anesthesia to knock you out, and I've had lots of practice on the Walkers."

Confident in Carol's abilities, Beth was more worried about Maggie than herself. She clung to her sister's hand. "It'll be okay. I'm not goin' to die."

Maggie nodded, though she was pale and clearly barely hanging on.

"Do you want to leave? It's okay if you don't want to be here for this." Maggie shook her head, clinging tighter to her leg. Beth held her breath upon Carol's direction, barely keeping in a scream of pain when the other woman reached into her body with both hands and turned her baby. Daryl was right behind her, their first son clutched to his chest.

"Okay, squat again." Carol smiled. "He's all lined up. Shouldn't give you anymore problems."

"He's a Dixon," grumped Beth. "Bound to be nothing but problems." She bore down and breathed through the pain, which wasn't nearly as bad as it had been a couple of minutes ago. Something shifted, and she could feel her baby sliding down the birth canal. When Carol checked, she confirmed he had crowned. Three more pushes, and little Dixon number-two entered the world.

She was a screamer, with fuzzy blonde hair and eyes just like her father's. Beth delivered the placenta, let Carol see to some tasks, and was soon settled back in bed with her new bundles, Daryl stretched out beside her. "Double trouble," she said with a grin.

He nodded, looking just as pleased, though a bit worried. "I didn't want a girl." Seeing her look of censure, he quickly added, "I'm scared I'll mess her up even worse than a boy or somethin'."

Beth cuddled closer to him, leaning her head against his shoulder as she switched out babies to allow her son another chance at nursing. "You aren't goin' to mess up anyone, love. You'll be the best father ever to Jason Herschel and…" She trailed off. "Dang it. We didn't even discuss girls' names."

Daryl blinked. "I didn't give it much thought. Just knew we was havin' a boy."

"I got an idea for a middle name." Beth rubbed her cheek against his shoulder. "How about Merlena?"

He snorted. "That's a terrible name to give a baby."

She smiled. "That's why it'll be her middle name. Still need a first though."

"Don't wanna give her the name of someone we lost to Walkers, same as we decided with Jason. We won't forget them people we've lost, but it don't seem right stickin' that kind of burden on a baby."

Beth nodded. "What was your momma's name?"

"Dumbass," he muttered. "Not happenin'. Your momma?"

"Josephine."

He tilted his head to look at the baby in his arms. "You a Josie? Yeah, you kinda look like a Josie Merlena. I'm real sorry 'bout the middle name, but your momma insists." Looking up at her, he said, "And it takes a braver man than me ta' tell your momma no."

A/N: I hope you enjoyed it. I know twins is an overdone trope, but I just couldn't resist.

And the foul language Beth adopts at the end-that's pretty accurate, even if it's overdone. There's a reason for that. Labor freaking hurts.