'Effed Up:

Story I've been working on for awhile but then I stopped. I finally finished yesterday, so I hope you enjoy!

Don't forget to review! :D

Summary: "What are you trying to do to me, BC? You just 'eff me up. You 'eff me up so 'effing bad." Rated T, R&R please!

I never asked to fall in love.

What was love about, anyway? The question had always lingered on my tongue. But fuck man, I'm a guy. I'm too masculine to ask people "what is love?"

I wasn't preppy Bubbles or cheery Boomer, both of who would ask the stupidest questions: "Why is the sky blue?" "Why is the grass green?" "Why do colours exist?" "How does Santa fly around the whole world?" "How does the the Tooth Fairy know where you live and when you lose a tooth?"

Those were just a few samples of the stupid questions they asked. As they got older, their questions grew more mature, but could still be pretty stupid:

"How does x times y equal xy?" "What does x squared mean?" "What happens to your crap after it enters the sewers?"

Okay, so that last question was just Boomer.

But still, both of them had asked the stupidest question of them all...:

"What is love?"

I remember glancing at my redheaded brother, who was supposed to be the "smart one" in our little group of misfits. I wouldn't admit it, but I had been curious at the time too. "Yeah, Brick; what's love?" I smirked.

"Well..." Brick actually looked seriously thoughtful as he stroked his chin. "Love...I think love is when you want to be with a person all the time," he mused slowly.

"Does that mean I love you guys?" Boomer asked. "I always want to hang out with you two."

It surprised me at the time, but Leader Boy actually smiled...warmly. "...Well, maybe. But that's a different kind of love. It's called brotherly love." He gave Boomer an affectionate noogie.

"Jeez you two; you're acting all corny," I said with a gag, jumping down from my perch.

Brick only shot me a smirk as he raised an eyebrow. I raised one back, and got ready to run off, but...

"Let me go, Brick!"

"No way!" Brick smirked as he gave me a noogie too. "You're not getting away!"

Sighing, I remember giving up and slouching, feeling frustrated. Since when had Brick gotten so soft?

Now that I was even older, I had gotten used to the fact my brothers had grown softer. Brick and Blossom were dating, as were Boomer and Bubbles.

Smirking to myself, I shifted on the roof of an old house. Closing my eyes, I lay down on the roof and let the sinking sun warm me. I'd never admit it, but those two idiots mattered to me.

Braker and Bliss had started dating; so had Blaster and Banana; and Bandit and Bunny had also become a couple.

But me...? Nah, I'm still single. Call me up anytime, ladies.

"Huh...looks like those lessons of love came to use after all," I breathed.

"...What lessons...?"

Jumping up, I turned to see someone rather unexpected on the roof. She was standing on the crumbling chimney of the old house, her feet light against the stones and bricks.

"B-Buttercup," I stammered in surprise, before scrambling upwards. "Wh-What are you doing here?"

...Fuck.

She shrugged, jumping off of the chimney. "Am I not allowed to be here?"

"N-No, it's not that." I backed away slightly, before feeling rocks crumbling beneath my feet. I glanced back and realized just how close and yet far the ground seemed at the same time.

Oh fuck.

Turning back to Buttercup, who was getting even closer, I finally floated upwards. I floated back slightly.

She raised an eyebrow. "Are you...avoiding me...?"

"Wh-What? No!" I gave an awkward laugh, and wanted to punch myself.

Fuck; just...fuck, man.

Buttercup shrugged as she took a step back. "Okay, okay. You can stop backing away from me now."

"Huh—oh. Oh, okay..." I felt my face burn red as I quickly landed on the roof again. "S-Sorry."

Buttercup only shrugged, taking a seat a little further off. "If I bother you so much, I'll just sit over here."

"Oh...okay." I looked away, not declining the offer. If she got too close to me, I felt like I wouldn't be able to function properly.

"Well..." There was slight hesitation in her voice. "...Why are you here...?"

I glanced back at her in surprise, before turning to watch the first few hints of stars appearing in the sky. "Oh...I just...I wanted to think a little."

She raised an eyebrow. "...Really...? I never took you for a thinker."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I shot back irritably, spinning around to face her with narrowed eyes.

So imagine my surprise when I was met with a small, teasing smirk. "...Jeez; you're finally back to normal."

I felt my face redden again.

OH C'MON YOU GOTTA BE FUCKING—

Suddenly, she was scooting over closer to me. "You okay...? Your face is red."

"No shit, Sherlock," I muttered sarcastically, leaning back as I gently pushed her hand away.

She narrowed her eyes. "Yes shit, Sherlock."

I glanced back at her, my heart suddenly racing. Oh shit, did I make her mad?

Buttercup leaned back and folded her arms.

...Yup; I made her mad.

"Why is it that you just can't be nice to me? We've been allies for a long time now," she snapped.

OH FUCKING CHRIST. I'm a fucking idiot.

"Isn't that partly your fault?" I responded almost unconsciously. "You make it hard for me to be nice to you." Or do anything, for that matter. I just don't know how to act around you.

Her eyes narrowed, and my own widened. Oh shit; wrong thing to say. "You fucking idiot—" she began, but a new voice sounded then.

"Buttercup, are you up there...?"

Buttercup turned toward the sound. "Yeah, Bloss; I'm up here!"

Taking in my chance, I leapt up before flying away. Okay, not my proudest moment, but I've done worse in front of her. But I had this sinking feeling that she'd think I was avoiding her because I didn't like her or that I was mad at her...again.

"Hey, wait a second, you—!"

Her voice quickly died down the further I got though, and I only stopped flying when I was sure she wasn't following.

Catching my breath and sighing, I closed my eyes and placed a hand over my heart. The hand tightened.

...What was this aching feeling in my chest...?

A memory of little Boomer popped into my head again, facing Brick and I with wide eyes as he held a hand against his heart.

"What is this aching feeling in my chest?" I remembered him asking.

Brick and I exchanged surprised glances, before Brick bent down and smiled slightly. "Boomer...it's probably...love."

I remembered gagging at the time, but now I could actually relate.

...God, I could relate to an idiot.

How wonderful.

Groaning, I placed my head into my hands. I'm such a fucking idiot. She's a fucking idiot. Well...she makes me a fucking idiot.

I sighed, loosening my fists and glancing at the moon.

...Fuck, fuck, fuck.

She just 'effs me up so bad.

And I 'eff up in front of her so bad.

I sighed as I leaned back in the sky. ...Maybe I should apologize to her. But I'm gonna have to hope I don't 'eff that up too. It's not like I haven't in the past.

...Maybe I should wait until tomorrow...?

I let out a frustrated groan, before flying off.

"Hey, uh, Buttercup? I just...I wanted to say I'm sorry. About last night, I mean. Y'know, when we...argued...? For the tenth time this week...?"

I stared forward with an awkward grin, swallowing.

...Fucking fuck! That wouldn't do at all; I sounded and looked like a nervous wreck.

Taking a deep breath, I pointed a finger into the mirror. "Yo, babe. Sorry about yesterday. Want to hang out?" I threw in a wink.

After awhile of staring at my own reflection, I slid down and placed my head in my hands. How. Just...how. How do I apologize to her...?

Rattling sounded at my door, and I froze. Thank God I had taken precautions and locked the goddamn thing. "What?" I grunted.

"Someone's here to see you!" Boomer called back.

I paused. Who the fuck could it be...? "Tell them to go away. I don't have the time—"

"...It's Buttercup, man."

I froze, my arm against the mirror. ...Oh fuck.

"Uhh...okay then; just let her know I'll be down in a sec."

"...Okay." I swore I could've heard him sniggering. If the door was open, I would've threw a pillow at him (or something harder; who knows?).

But instead, I settled with throwing off my smelly black tee for a black and green no-sleeve with a green jacket. I quickly shoved shit out of the way before hurrying to the door.

As I flew down the hall, I couldn't help but wonder WHY I was hurrying. So I slowed down, took a deep breath, and just sauntered my way downstairs.

And why did I care if my room looked clean or not...? Buttercup doesn't give a shit about that kind of thing.

I was immediately greeted with piercing emerald-green eyes. "...Hello," she said quietly.

"Uhh...hi," I finally managed to say, waving awkwardly. I swore Boomer was snickering again as he crept away. If I could get my hands on the little creep—

"...About yesterday..."

Blinking as I was jolted out of my thoughts, I turned back to see Buttercup's narrowed eyes. "Oh yeah! I—"

"I have—"

We both paused as we stared at each other.

Finally, I found the voice to say, "...Okaaaay... Why don't you go first?"

"N-No; you first." Suddenly, she looked kinda embarrassed. I couldn't help but wonder why.

"Umm...no way, man—I mean, BC! Ladies first, right...?" I swallowed sheepishly, feeling sweat trickle down my cheek. FUCK. I'M SUCH A FUCKING BLUNDERING IDIOT.

"Wh-Why don't we both say it at the s-same time?" Buttercup suddenly suggested, still not looking directly at me. I thought I saw pink cheeks.

"Oh...yeah; sure. Should I count down...?"

Buttercup shifted, shrugging. "I don't really care," she mumbled bluntly.

"Oh...right. Okay then." I took a deep breath before beginning my countdown: "3, 2, 1..."

"I wanted to apologize for last night!"

Silence passed, before we blinked open our eyes. We stared at each other in surprise as we realized we had both said it at the same. Time.

...Okay, fuck.

"Oh, umm..." Even Buttercup was at a loss for words.

More silence consumed us, before I heard whispering. I turned to see my brothers, who were all motioning and whispering things to me. I glared at them, and they looked sheepish for a moment, but then I caught Boomer's words with my super-hearing:

"Hurry up and apologize to her, man!"

I suddenly remembered little Boomer again, his hands over his heart. Then he held out his hands, tilted his head to the side, and asked, "How do you give someone your love?"

"You tell them how you feel; or by your body language; or you treat them nicely," Brick had explained with a slightly amused smile. He placed his hand over Boomer's and curled them back into fists. "Keep those feelings safe until you're ready to release them. But don't hold them for too long, or you'll want to burst like a soda can that's been bouncing around in a car."

I still found it cheesy now, and I remembered rolling my eyes, but it actually made sense to me now.

I may have never asked to fall in love. I may not fully understand what the fuck love was.

But despite all that...I did know one thing:

I loved Buttercup.

All of a sudden, I felt like bursting and telling her how I felt and everything. I guess I had bottled these emotions up for too long.

...Like the stupid soda can bouncing around in that car.

Love was still a mystery to me, but I could kind of understand it now. I may not know what it WAS, but I now know how it feels.

It felt...sweet. And sad at the same time. Bittersweet, I guess. What was that word Brick used...? "Melancholic"...? I think that was it...

Anyway, now that I knew I liked Buttercup, I wasn't going to let her go. I was going to tell her exactly how I felt.

"Buttercup...?"

She looked up, as if snapping out of a daze. "Uh...yeah...?"

I awkwardly rubbed the back of my neck. "Uhh...well, I'm not one for cheesiness, but..." I sighed then, dropping my arm. "...I'm sorry."

"Oh...yeah, I'm sorry too." Buttercup stared at the floor.

I hesitated slightly, before saying the next line: "That's...That's not all."

She looked up in surprise. "Huh...?"

"Yeah...there's more. I know; shocking." I swallowed, forcing myself to stare into her green eyes. My mouth opened, and then it clamped shut again. My throat felt parched. I tried again. I failed again.

"Um, look; if you're not going to speak, I should go. I've already done what I came to do." She tilted her head to the side, before turning and waving. "See you later—"

"No, wait," I suddenly said, grabbing her wrist.

She looked down at her wrist in surprise before she looked back up at me, her face pink. "Umm...look dude, what—?"

"Just be a little patient, please," I pleaded. As soon as I used "please", she probably figured out how important it was to me, because she turned to face me. I sighed in relief, before taking a deep breath.

"So—" she began, but I spoke quickly:

"What are you trying to do to me, BC? You just 'eff me up. You 'eff me up so 'effing bad."

"I..." Buttercup trailed off, staring at me.

"I can't even talk around you," I finally managed to say. "...I know, I sound like an effin' 'effed up idiot right now."

"What are you trying to say, Butch?"

I sighed. "I don't know, honestly. Let's just say I like you. And that's why I act so 'effed up around you. Because you 'eff me up so 'effing bad. Yeah, I probably really do sound an 'effed up idiot right now."

"...Actually, no. I mean, I kinda get what you're saying." Buttercup blushed then.

My eyes widened in surprise and I looked up. "You do...?"

She took a deep breath. "Yes. And let me show you why."

I was about to ask her what she was trying to say, but then her lips met mine. She kissed me.

She 'effing kissed me!

And it felt so good my heart was doing jumping jacks and loop-de-loops, soaring to places it probably wasn't supposed to soar. Why? I don't know—she just 'effs me up so bad not even my body parts can stay in order.

When she pulled back, she smiled. "I like you too, Butch. And let's just say that you 'eff me up really 'effing bad as well. Maybe just as bad, or even worse."

I smirked slightly, letting the words sink in. "Oh really...? I bet I'm more 'effed up than you."

Instead of sounding irritated, she laughed. It was rare to hear her laugh around me, so I relished it. "We'll see," she smirked. "Leave it to you to turn this into a competition."

"It's my specialty," I agreed, winking. I think I heard Boomer cheering or snickering to my other brothers in the background, but I didn't care. I glanced at her. "You wanna do me the honour of being my girlfriend, BC?"

"Alright, Butch. If you promise to work on not being so 'effed up." Buttercup raised an eyebrow, smiling slightly.

"I will," I smirked back in a promise. "Hell, I'll show you how I'm less 'effed up now."

"And how are you going to do that?" she asked innocently.

"I'm sure you already know. I'm gonna kiss you and not mess the 'eff up." I leaned in, and let's just say this scene's almost too good to describe—but it does have a happy ending.

The 'effed up guy gets his 'effed up gal and they both live 'effing happily ever after...or so far, anyway.

THE 'EFFIN END, BITCHES

Don't mind the swearing, guys. That's basically the "theme" of the story. xD

Remember to leave a review! ;)