A/N: Please excuse my poor attempts at humor and characterization. If I don't get ideas like this out of my system, they'll stay in my head until I do something about it.
Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail and probably never will due to my awful writing skills..
It was another ordinary day at Fairy Tail; which was actually quite abnormal considering the chaos that usually ensues there. Noticing the unusual calmness Natsu put his head down on the guild table and groaned.
"Ugggghhh. Sooo boooored."
"Come on Natsu. Can't you just enjoy some peace and quiet for once?" asked Lucy from her spot across from him.
"Natsu's brain is so used to crazy things happening that it doesn't understand normal anymore" Happy told her.
"I guess being in this guild too long really will start to mess with your mind."
"Luuuuuuccyyyyy, find something fun to do. I can't take this." Lucy wasn't sure she could take much more of Natsu's whining.
"We could go on another job," she tried.
"Naahh we just did that yesterday. I'm not in the mood for a job today."
"You could fight with someone like you usually do," Happy suggested.
"Maybe we shouldn't encourage him Happy."
"I tried!" Natsu exclaimed. "But, Laxus and Gray aren't here, Elfman was helping Mira with something, and Erza just punched me and told me to go do something productive in her scary voice."
"What about Gajeel? He's usually up for a fight."
"I already tried with him too! He just acted all grumpy and told me to get lost." Natsu pouted.
"That's Gajeel for you."
"He does seem extra grouchy today," Lucy added, looking over to where Gajeel was seated at the bar, glaring at nothing.
"Yeah, he's always like that though. I don't think I've ever even seen him smile," Nastu realized.
"Hmm you're right Natsu. Who knows what lengths that would take," replied Lucy a little sadly.
"Aye that would be a real challenge."
Natsu's head perked up at that. "Great idea Happy!"
"Oh no."
Natsu smiled mischievously. "Lucy Natsu's scaring me!"
"I think I just figured out how to kill our boredom."
"Our? Natsu n-"
"And I'm all fired up!"
"Natsu I don't know about this." Lucy said skeptically from their relocated table that was much closer to the bar.
"Come on Lucy, it'll be fun! What's the worst that could happen?"
"An iron club to the face."
"Don't worry, if he tries that then I'll just fight him like I originally wanted to. It's a win win."
"Yeah for you maybe."
"I think Lucy's just afraid she's gonna lose," Happy chuckled.
"Shut it you dumb cat! And why does everything around here have to turn into a competition?"
"Did someone say competition?" asked Cana from a nearby table. The card mage then got up and took a seat next to Lucy, taking her barrel of alcohol with her. "Because if there's a completion then we should definitely take bets."
"Cana this really isn't-"
"Fine by me since I'm totally gonna win," Natsu said cutting her off. "Too bad Gray isn't here so I can kick his ass too."
"Did somebody say my name?" asked a spikey black head of hair heading for their table.
"Gray!" Lucy exclaimed as everyone's heads turned toward the voice. "Great now you can just fight with Natsu like usual and this can all be over."
"No way! I'm tired of just beating him up all the time."
"What was that flame brain!?"
"I want to beat him in a different way today."
"Yeah right! Like you could ever beat me at anything! Whatever it is I'm in!"
"Gray-sama will win for sure!" Juvia, who had joined them soon after Gray, added.
"All right now things are getting interesting." Cana said happily. "How much money does everyone want to bet?"
"One hundred thousand jewels!" Natsu shouted quickly.
"How do I always get dragged into these things?" Lucy whined. "Now I'm probably going to end up losing the money we got on our job yesterday."
"Hmm maybe we should drop that a bit down to five thousand jewels," suggested Mirajane standing next to their table with a clipboard.
"You too Mira!?"
"Sorry Lucy, Master's been getting stressed lately from all the bills caused by damage to the guild, so I'm all for a non-violent friendly competition. Plus someone has to write everything down and judge."
"When are things around here ever non-violent and friendly?" Lucy grumbled.
"Cheer up Lucy. You know if you win you'll get some decent rent money," Cana reminded her.
"That's true I guess."
"By the way, what are we even competing to do?" asked an already half naked Gray.
"Doesn't matter because I'm gonna kick your ass!"
Lucy sighed. "We were going to try and see who could get Gajeel to smile first."
"Oh, Juvia doesn't think that will be very easy. In all the time Juvia has known Gajeel-kun, she hasn't seen him smile much."
"I don't think it's a very good idea either," said a tiny voice belonging to Fairy Tail's youngest dragon slayer. "Gajeel-san get's irritated very easily."
"Thank you Wendy," Lucy started. "Wait, Wendy? When did you get here?"
"I invited her so Charle would come see me win" Happy answered.
"As absurd as this silly competition is, I had nothing better to do."
"Well now that I think we have everyone-"started Mirajane.
"Wait!" Natsu interrupted, "I want Erza to join so I can beat her too!"
"Right," Lucy said, tired already. "Happy can you go get Erza so we can get this over with all ready?"
"Aye sir!"
~5 minutes and a newly joined Erza, Elfman and Lisanna later~
"Alright now that everyone has thought up their strategies, I'm going to stand over behind the bar so I can judge. Happy you're up first. Good luck everyone!" chimed Mira before she made her way over to the bar.
"Aye! I'm going to win for sure, just you watch Charle!"
"I highly doubt that."
As happy made his way over to Gajeel with a fish Lucy was still unsure on how she was going to go about this. She turned to the little blue haired girl sitting next to her.
"Wendy do you have any idea of what to do because I'm coming up blank?"
"Honestly Lucy-san I'm not really sure either. I'm just worried about making Gajeel-san angry."
"Don't worry Wendy, I don't think even Gajeel could stay angry at you for long. I really want to try and win this though. I could always use more rent money."
Lucy tried to come up with an idea as she watched Happy come back to their table after his failed attempt. Right away Natsu yelled "I'm next!" and ran over to the bar.
She thought that maybe watching the others would help her come up with an idea, so she decided to see how Natsu would tackle this.
Nastu walked up to Gajeel and took a seat next to him. He then proceeded to punch him straight in the face. As expected, Gajeel didn't smile. Instead, he growled at Natsu, turned his arm into an iron club, and knocked Natsu into a nearby table.
"I thought I told you to get lost Salamander, I'm not in the mood to kick your ass."
Maybe watching the others wouldn't be as big of a help as she thought.
Nastu got up and angrily stalked back over the table.
"What kind of strategy was that you moron?" asked Gray.
"I was gonna punch his face into a smile obviously!"
"That is the dumbest idea I have ever heard."
"Like you could do any better ice breath!"
"I can! Just watch me!"
Lucy sighed again. This was going to be a long day.
It was starting to get dark and so far no one had managed to make Gajeel crack even a little bit of a smile. If anything they had only irritated him more.
They tried everything they could think of, jokes, flattery, iron, alcohol, yelling "Gajeel you're a real man!", but so far nothing worked.
"You guys this is hopeless. Maybe we should just give up." Lucy said with her head on the table.
"No way! I aint giving up! I have the perfect idea!" Nastu announced.
"Didn't you say you had the perfect idea two tries ago when you offered to burn all his clothes to make them blacker?" Happy asked him.
"Maybe, but this time I really am gonna win!"
"Whatever you say Natsu."
"I don't think we should give up either," Erza stated. "Giving up would be weak."
"Plus there's money on the line!"
"Real men never give up!"
Lucy was about to protest again, when a tired looking Levy walked into the guild. She waved at them when she passed their table and said "Hi everyone, we're back," then walked over to the bar.
Levy sat down and called for Mira. "We completed our mission Mira. I came back to tell you since Jet and Droy went home already."
Mira smiled. "Oh Levy you're back from your mission a little late huh? Can I get you anything to drink, you must be exhausted?"
"Just some water please," she answered tiredly.
Levy turned to the dragon slayer who had been sitting there all day. "Hi Gajeel," she said when he looked at her and smiled brightly at him like only Levy can.
Then Gajeel did what no one else could get him to do that day and cracked half a smile. "Hey shrimp. Tough job?"
"Yes, it was exhausting. It seemed like a pretty easy job until we ran into these…"
Mirajane watched as Levy told Gajeel about her mission and quietly put down Levy's water next to her. She then walked back over to the table where everyone was still arguing.
"Excuse me everyone. It looks like we have a winner."
Everyone at the table stopped talking at that and looked over to bar with a confused look on their faces. They took one look at Levy and groaned. She had won without even trying.
Lucy sighed at another day wasted. "I guess you just can't force these kinds of things."
A/N: The moral of the story is don't start Fairy Tail competitions unless you want the whole guild to join and make a big deal out of it. The second moral is that this story is excessively corny and I'm horrible at writing endings. Maybe I should stop trying to write one-shots at 2 in the morning.