AUTHOR NOTES:

This story takes place during the S3 Christmas Special. It begins in the evening after the servants get home from their day out at the Thirsk Country Fair.

I've always loved Mrs. Hughes, her kindness to a crying and broken Thomas by taking him in from the courtyard and comforting him when he got fired without a reference was so touching, as was her kind but firm talk to an upset Tom Branson in the library after Lady Sybil died and he'd had that one-night stand.

So I decided she should have a little talk with Jimmy too. ;)

Thank you for reading it.

CHAPTER 01

"Go on, get that down you," Alfred said, placing the plate in front of Jimmy.

Jimmy's stomach lurched at the sight of eggs, sausages and things he wasn't sure he recognised, swimming in a puddle of grease.

"If that's the state of your cooking it's no wonder you couldn't get a job in a kitchen," the blond footman said, pushing the plate away.

"When I worked at the hotel, all the hung-over drunks ate this. You'll thank me in the morning," Alfred told Jimmy and nudged the plate back in front of him.

"Not the black pudding," Jimmy said, shaking his head. "I can't do black pudding, even when I'm sober."

"Fair enough," Alfred picked the offending item off Jimmy's plate.

"And I'm going to need brown sauce, a lot of it."

"What am I, your personal butler now?" Alfred huffed, pushing the condiment across the table to his friend. "Will Sir be needing anything else?"

Jimmy waved him away as he began to eat. Surprisingly it made him feel better. It wasn't the first time Alfred's cooking had saved him from a blinding hangover the next morning. Although he would never admit it out loud, Alfred's food wasn't bad at all, in fact it was quite good.

The rest of the servants had gone to bed early, exhausted by their day out at the Fair, but Mrs. Hughes was still up, and she stopped in the kitchen doorway on her way back from locking the store cupboard for the night.

"I'd like a word please James before you go up. I'll be in my sitting room when you've finished eating."

"May I be of assistance Mrs. Hughes?" Mr. Carson asked, stepping out of the butler's pantry, his bushy eyebrows raised enquiringly at the two footmen sitting at the table. No matter where he was in the house he never seemed to miss a single word being said.

"No I'll manage," Mrs. Hughes replied with a smile. "Nothing for you to be concerned about, I just want to a finish a conversation I was about to have with James at the Fair."

Alfred looked at his colleague and James shrugged, his blank expression saying that he had no idea what she was talking about.

"You're probably in for a bollocking for getting smashed," Alfred said when both the butler and the housekeeper had retreated to their private rooms.

When he'd finished his food, Jimmy knocked on Mrs. Hughes' door.

"Come in and have a seat James," she said, her soft Scottish accent warm and inviting as she nodded to the armchair opposite her.

Jimmy sat down and Mrs. Hughes poured a cup of tea for each of them, smiling gently at him, "Now James, I'd like to talk to you about..."

"Please, Mrs. Hughes," he interrupted her. "Please call me Jimmy, I can't get used to James. I've always been Jimmy, even to Lady Anstruther."

The kindly housekeeper tilted her head and raised her eyebrows, "Very well Jimmy, but only when Mr. Carson's not around. In front of him you'll be James."

"I can live with that", Jimmy flashed her one of his winning smiles.

"Now, about what happened to Mr. Barrow this afternoon. I've spoken to Dr. Clarkson and I thought you'd like to know that Mr. Barrow is feeling much better and is expected to make a full recovery."

"I'm glad to know it," Jimmy replied.

"The doctor also tells me there's talk that Mr. Barrow was beaten up whilst trying to protect you. If that's true I think you owe him an apology, or at the very least your thanks. If it wasn't for Mr. Barrow it would be you lying up there now covered in cuts and bruises."

"I'm glad no lasting damage was done, but asking me to go up to his room to talk to him is too much Mrs. Hughes, after what he did to me," Jimmy said, his hands were shaking and when he placed his teacup on the side table it rattled in the saucer.

"I don't think it's asking too much at all," Mrs. Hughes said, her voice was comforting and her expression was kind. In a pleasant way she reminded Jimmy of his mother. "I think it's time the two of you made peace and put the past behind you. It's been over a year since he tried to kiss you, the rest of the household has got over it and I think it's about time you did too."

Jimmy shook his head. "I can't put it behind me, what he did was appalling. It was repulsive and goes against everything that's natural. Even Mr. Carson said so."

Mrs Hughes exhaled a quiet sigh of exasperation. "Drowning a kitten is repulsive and appalling Jimmy, all Mr. Barrow did was try to kiss you. And where Mr. Carson is concerned, he thinks having a maid serving in the dining room is against everything that's natural and proper, so I think we can waive Mr. Carson's opinion as a measure of what we can cope with, and what we cannot. Truth be told Jimmy, it's not like Mr. Barrow wasn't given any encouragement."

Jimmy was outraged. "I did not encourage him!"

"Perhaps not intentionally, but you did not discourage him either," Mrs. Hughes gently pointed out. "I know Miss O'Brien led you both a merry dance, but I'm not blind, I see what goes on and I hear it too. You're not entirely the innocent party in this Jimmy. Even if you believed it was for the good of your job, you did a fair bit of flirting too. You enjoyed Mr. Barrow's compliments and you accepted his touches right in front of the other staff too. You're almost as much to blame in this as he is. You must accept that and put an end to the situation between you."

Jimmy was distraught at the thought that people had seen Thomas caressing his neck while he played the piano, or pressing up against him when he showed him how to wind the clocks.

"I'd let it go Mrs. Hughes, if he'd only leave me alone, but he won't. Whenever I look up he's staring at me. I can't reach for a piece of toast without him picking up the platter and passing it to me, I can't lift a trunk without him trying to help me. I don't know what he wants from me."

"He wants your forgiveness Jimmy. And your friendship."

"I can't give him that."

"Oh I think you can," said Mrs. Hughes with a gentle smile as she leaned forward and put her hand on Jimmy's knee.

"I cannot," Jimmy shook his head, the colour rising in his cheeks. "If I were his friend people would look at me and think I'm the same as him. I'm not. I'm nothing like him."

"The problem with you Jimmy," Mrs. Hughes said, leaning back in her chair and picking up her teacup again. "Is that you think everything is about you. You think everybody is looking at you and thinking about you every minute of the day. We're not. We've got enough to fill our days without filling our heads with Jimmy Kent as well. But I don't deny that some of the kitchen maids probably give you more thought than they ought to," she added with a soft chuckle. "The truth is, in this house we don't judge people on things that they themselves have no control over. I'm sure you'll have noticed that Mr. Barrow is not treated any differently since the incident. Nobody thinks any less of him, nor of you for that matter."

"Well Mr. Carson was very angry about it," Jimmy protested.

"Mr. Carson was angry at having been made to act on it. He was afraid of the scandal it would bring to the family, especially when you started making a fuss about Mr. Barrow not being given a reference, and Alfred, bless his soul, misguided boy that he is, calling in the police. We all knew about Thomas, and we'd all seen you leading him on even if your intentions weren't quite what they seemed. We all knew that it was only a matter of time before something developed. Why do you think Miss. O'Brien insisted that you kick up a fuss? She knew Mr. Carson wouldn't take action against Thomas unless he was forced to. Thomas is a good worker, he can be a bit of a trial at times even to the most saintly soul, but the minute he steps upstairs he's the very model of dignity and decorum. Nobody deserves to have their life ruined over something they didn't choose in the first place."

"You all knew about Thomas' ...um... preferences? All of you?"

"Of course we did," Mrs. Hughes nodded. "Thomas has lived and worked under this roof for ten years and these things don't go unnoticed. I certainly knew about him, Mr. Carson too, and Mrs. Patmore, and Daisy, although it took her a good number of years before she could see the wood for the trees. Mr. Bates and Anna, and most certainly Miss. O'Brien. I cannot speak for her Ladyship or the Dowager Countess, but Lord Grantham certainly knew, as did Lady Sybil, and she was one of the truest friends Mr. Barrow ever had."

"You sound very fond of Mr. Barrow," Jimmy said.

"Oh, he's given me a good run for my money over the years, make no mistake. Most of these grey hairs I've got are due to his plotting and scheming. Between him and Miss. O'Brien, we've had our fair share of intrigue in this house. And that's another reason that you might consider having Mr. Barrow on your side. It's a good life we have here, but it can be ruthless. I've seen many a good soul have the ladder kicked out from under them as they tried to lift themselves to better positions. Many a good person's dreams have been shattered here, most of those to Mr. Barrow's advantage come to think of it. Oh he's a snake alright, he can set you up for a fall quicker than you can blink an eye. Mind you, he's taken a good number of falls himself over the years too, but he's loyal to this house and to the family and he's certainly looking out for your best interests whether you want to believe it or not. You could do worse than having a friend like Mr. Barrow watching out for you if you want to make a good career for yourself here."

"I'm not sure I can trust having him as a friend, Mrs. Hughes. I'm not sure he'd accept just being friends. He'd always want more from me and I cannot give it to him. I will not. I'm not like that. He is what he is, and I'm... well, I'm absolutely not like that."

"I hope you won't be offended Jimmy if I speak plainly with you. I don't do it to upset you, I do it because I think you need to hear it," the kindly housekeeper paused for a moment, then asked, "May I speak plainly to you?"

"Go on then," Jimmy replied cautiously.

"I think you're more like Mr. Barrow than you'd like to admit. Whether you like to hear it or not, you did flirt with him, and gave him hope of something more. The only thing Thomas did wrong was to take that hope and open his heart to you. I'm not one to gossip about the staff Mr. Kent, but I've known Thomas since he started here as the third footman and I've watched him fight and claw his way through the ranks to where he is today. It's not always been easy for him, he hasn't many friends among the staff, mostly due to his own doing, and while he acts aloof and sure of himself, it's my option Jimmy, that Thomas is a lonely man who has had to live his life in the shadows, never truly being able to be himself with those around him. I've seen you unashamedly flirting with the maids, pinching their bottoms and stealing kisses from them, don't think I haven't. You get a sharp smack from Mrs. Patmore for doing it and everybody laughs it off, but if Thomas were to do that to someone he fancied, he'd be outcast and vilified. Over the past decade he's watched people fall in love and marry, and leave Downton to start lives of their own. That luxury will always be denied to Mr. Barrow. He can never hope to marry the person he loves, he can never hope to openly declare his affections. He's destined to be alone here for the rest of his life, and if he does find somebody to love he will always have to hide it in shame. With all of that denied to him, can you really bring yourself to deny him forgiveness and friendship too?"

Mrs. Hughes sat back and watched Jimmy for a moment. His brows were creased in a frown, he was chewing his bottom lip and he looking down at his hands clasped in his lap. He didn't move or speak, but she could see he was thinking and she was grateful for that. Knowing Jimmy, she hadn't expected him to listen seriously to what she had to say. She'd expected him to be full of bluster and bravado, but it seemed she'd touched a nerve and she wanted to give him time to take it in and let her words settle on him.

When he finally spoke, his hands had formed fists in his lap. His breathing, while strained, was slow and even, and by the slight flare in his nostrils she could tell that he was struggling to keep it so.

"You said..." he started carefully. "You said I was more like Mr. Barrow than I cared to admit. What do you mean by that?"

Leaning forward, Mrs. Hughes placed a finger under his chin, lifting his head to make him look at her. Then she took his balled fists in her hands and held them gently.

"I mean no offence Jimmy, I'm just telling you what I see, and I see that you are so terrified of Thomas' attention, and of being associated with him, or being thought the same as him, that I think he has struck a chord in you. Perhaps one you didn't even know was there. All I am saying is that you don't have to fight so hard against it. Nobody will think any the less of you for it. It's okay to forgive Thomas, and I'm not asking you to give him anything more, but can you find it in your heart to give him your friendship Jimmy? He's a man very much in need of a friend right now. At the very least will you stop your hostility towards him? The more you push against him, the more he tries to reach out to you. Can the two of you not find some common ground where you can make peace in a way that is acceptable to you both? It's easy to hold a grudge Jimmy, but it takes the grace of a gentleman to shake hands and move on."

"I'm afraid that if I accept his friendship it will lead to something more," Jimmy's voice trembled and tears began to well up in his eyes.

"It won't if you don't allow it." Mrs. Hughes reassured him.

"But I'm afraid that I will allow it. I'm afraid I won't want to stop it."

"That decision is yours, and yours alone Jimmy, but if you find that you want to open your heart to Thomas I can assure you, as long as you are very discreet, you will always be safe in this house." Mrs. Hughes squeezed his hands as she spoke. "And you will make Mr. Barrow a very happy man."

"Have I really been that obvious Mrs. Hughes?" Jimmy was horrified that what he tried to keep hidden deep within himself had been seen by the whole house all along.

"I don't think you need worry about the rest of the staff Jimmy," Mrs. Hughes said, gently prying his fists open until his fingers curled around hers and she could hold his hands properly. "I don't think they suspect a thing, but it's my job to notice everything, and you have had rather a rampant case of red blooded maleness these last few months," she laughed softly and gave Jimmy's hands another gentle, comforting squeeze.

"I suppose I have been overcompensating a bit," he admitted, quietly.

"You've been very eager to prove yourself with the ladies, making a bit too much of a fuss if I'm honest. But I don't expect you to go barrelling head over heels into Mr. Barrow's arms now either," she smiled again. "Just treat him with kindness and respect, the same as you would like to be treated in return."

"I'm afraid when it comes to Mr. Barrow the only thing I can expect in return from him is seduction," Jimmy chuckled nervously, but Mrs. Hughes was glad to see that he was trying to be light-hearted about it.

"You should be rather flattered actually," she said. "In the past Thomas has only sought his conquests among diplomats and dukes."

"Are you saying I'm not good enough for him then?" Jimmy looked genuinely shocked.

"Oh Jimmy!" Mrs Hughes laughed heartily now. She lifted her hand and gave his cheek a gentle pat. "Your ego really does get the better of you; first you baulk at the thought of people associating you with Thomas, and now you're upset that people might think he's reaching below himself with you. You really are too much. No, what I'm saying is that this is the first time in all the years I've known him, that I truly believe Thomas was acting out of love and real affection instead of self-advancement. He put his livelihood, his home and his reputation in jeopardy to make that pass at you. Previously his suitors only received his attention because of what he could gain from them, not for what he felt for them."

Jimmy nodded slowly, understanding the impact of what Mrs. Hughes was saying. Then he took a deep breath, his clear blue eyes holding her gaze. "Thank you Mrs. Hughes, thank you for talking to me. I don't know quite how I'm feeling or what I'm going to do yet, it's all so confusing, but thank you. I feel that a weight has been lifted from me."

"You're a dear boy Jimmy, a little cocky and full of yourself sometimes, but a dear boy all the same. You've brought brightness and laughter to this house. It's been a long time since we had music in the evenings or card games for the boys. And while Mr. Carson might appear to disapprove, he's very happy that everybody's getting along and being friends. Now go upstairs and see if you can make Thomas one of those friends too. Remember Jimmy, it doesn't matter what feelings we have for other people or who those people are, it's what we do with those feelings that's important. It's not who our friends are, it's how we treat them that counts."

"I've treated Mr. Barrow very badly haven't I?"

"You have, but it's not too late to make amends," Mrs. Hughes said, rising from her chair and leading Jimmy to the door. "My advice to you is to accept from him only what you're willing to, and give to him only as much as you're able to," she hugged the young footman in an unusual show of affection and sent him on his way upstairs.

Up in his room Jimmy washed his face and combed his hair neatly, then he took a deep breath, swallowed hard and walked down the corridor to Mr. Barrow's room. His heart was pounding as he knocked softly on the door and stepped inside.

Battered and bruised, Thomas looked up from the newspaper he was reading. His face lit up when he saw Jimmy. His cautious smile was full of tentative hope.

"What are you doing up here?" he asked in a soft voice as he discarded the newspaper on the bedside table.

To be continued….