Author's Note:

Yes, yes, I'm jumping on the bandwagon and writing something about 5x19: Spoils of War. How could I resist? Enjoy. Since this is technically a new story I must say, my penname, NavyStrong42099 is dedicated to my brother. This is from Kensi's perspective.

-C

To Jack's credit, he tried.

He really did.

He tried to shake Kensi out of her stupor while trekking through the desert with the Taliban, but she wouldn't have it. The elite special agent retreated further into her shell every time.

Nobody was coming for them. Not anymore.

She had no doubt that her team back in Los Angeles would have received the good-bye video she sent. It took her a half an hour figuring out what to say. Sometimes, it was easier to leave without one last word, because one would always want to add something else, trying to give closure.

The video was brief. She had said what she meant. But she also knew that no way in hell would it be enough for them.

Kensi didn't know who had been sent to find her. Granger? Marines stationed at Camp Chapman? The team back in L.A.? Whoever it had been, they probably turned back by now. They could have found the cave where her and Jack were initially held. And then they would have discovered the pictures…

Any sane person would have turned back.

So Kensi was starting to lose hope real fast.

She didn't know how long they had been forced to march, but it hardly seemed to matter anymore. Her entire body was numb; there wasn't much forcing one foot in front of another.

What would Dad say? What would Deeks say? Come on Blye, some small voice called to her.

That with a combination of the man pointing a gun in front of her shook her to the present day. Something was going on. Angry Arabic jumped from man to man. A Taliban member got tired of waiting for Kensi to snap out of it, so he drove the butt of his gun to the side of her face.

Searing pain exploded in her cheek, causing her to collapse next to Jack behind a mound. It was as if a stab of adrenaline was rocking Kensi to her very core. Her ex-fiancé looked at her with concern, but she managed to haul herself to a sitting position on her own.

Jack tugged at his bonds beside her. Kensi was too preoccupied trying to discern what was going on. Gunfire exploded in the vicinity, and the brunette became all the more desperate move. It didn't last for long, but the bullets were frequent and determined to hit their mark.

Suddenly, a new noise broke over the gunfire. The screaming of the native tongue accompanied by the steady turning of helicopter rotors that seemed to be in time with her throbbing cheek.

She tried to get a look at what was going on, but the Taliban member standing in front of them prevented her from finding out. Kensi's Arabic was rudimentary, much like her Pashto. There was very little she could ascertain from the voice over the loudspeaker other than a name that didn't make any sense.

Maybe she got her hopes up for nothing.

The gunfire ceased, and there was much commotion among the members of the Taliban. Kensi shot Jack a confused glance, but he wasn't paying attention. If he understood what was going on, it wasn't like he could relay it to her due to the gags in their mouths.

More members of the Taliban approach her and Jack. It's unclear of what their intent is until Jack rises to his feet, clearly understanding the demands. Kensi tried to force herself up. But days of senseless beatings, no proper amount of food and water, and miles of trekking through the rough terrain had left it nearly impossible for her to muster the strength.

Whether she would have made it on her own or not, the men grew impatient. One of them grabbed her by the neck and tossed her forward. Kensi rolled in the dirt, breathless. She had landed on her cracked ribs, making it impossible to suck in some air.

Kensi lay coughing when another man delivered a hard kick to her stomach. Agony washed over her from previous bruising. Two more men hauled her to her feet and shoved her next to Jack.

The world was spinning, pain washing out most of everything except for well, everything.

Kensi wasn't sure what was going to happen to them. So she thought of the one thing that would get her through. His smile, his laugh. Everything.

Numbness radiated throughout her body so she didn't feel the light weight ropes thrown over her head. She was shoved into a part of the clearing, but wasn't looking ahead of her. Kensi blocked out as much real life imagery as she could to retain those of her imagination-those of Deeks.

When the brunette felt the familiar cold barrel of a gun jammed into her spine, she limped forward. Kensi was prepared for the worst. It felt so unreal, putting one foot in front of the other. Her head was hanging, but something inside made her look up. If it was one last spark of the Kensi Marie Blye defiance, she didn't know.

All she did know is that she didn't have to imagine Deeks in front of her anymore. Because there was the muscular man with the familiar blond locks. He stood behind a man Kensi didn't recognize, but she couldn't care less. She was too weak to acknowledge him in any way, but hope was soaring in her chest. He was only in front of her for a few seconds- and then he was walking past her. But it was enough.

It was a prisoner exchange. Somehow, they had found her. They hadn't given up on her after all.

In spite of her elation, Kensi couldn't smile or feel an overwhelming sense of happiness. She was numb. So numb. At first she thought it was because of her injuries. And now she was beginning to realize it was a part of her mental state as well.

Sam cautiously approached her and slid the gag down. He looked for any serious injuries, although there were several adorning her face.

"You okay?" He asked simply.

She couldn't put in the effort to lie. "No."

"They beat her up pretty bad," Jack warned them with concern.

"Get the wounded on the chopper, we have another one coming for us," Callen immediately stepped in. Kensi forced herself forward a few more yards, unable to hide the moans of protest escaping her parched and bloodied lips.

She followed Jack up, but wasn't even able to lift her foot high enough over the step. Kensi stumbled forward, only to have Jack catch her and quickly maneuver her into a seat. She was lying half on top of him.

It was an embrace that she knew.

But it felt so foreign.

The look in Deeks's eyes shocked her. She didn't want him to see her like this again. Kensi stayed where she was, having no desire to move.

The helicopter took off, and she knew that she wouldn't be seeing her teammates for the time being. She stayed in Jack's arms, pain vibrating throughout her body. The less she moved the better.

Kensi wasn't sure how much time had passed until they landed in Camp Chapman. Base medics immediately came running to get the more critically injured off of the vehicle. In the midst of all the commotion, Kensi slipped away from everybody and stumbled to her bunk. Before people could ask questions, she locked herself in the bathroom.

She stripped herself of the bloody garments and found herself staring in the mirror. Her entire left side was painted with purple and black bruising. There were other various and meager scrapes, but mostly bruising. It took a great deal of effort and energy to pull a clean black sweater over her head, followed by jeans.

Kensi had almost forgotten about her blood-ridden face. She frantically wet a towel under scalding water and vigorously wiped at the vermillion stains. The brunette rinsed the towel free of any blood it had absorbed and ran it over her exposed skin again. And again. And again until silent tears were streaming down her face.

Until she was sure that her features were clear of any blood, Kensi stumbled back to her bunk, hardly able to stand. She collapsed on the bunk out of breath and in extreme agony.

A knock sounded at the door, and the newcomer didn't wait for a response before barging in.

"Agent Blye, you should have come to see us."

She only offered the medic a shrug.

The doctor clearly had other people to tend to, for he gave her a once over and patched up a deep gash on the side of her head before moving on. Kensi sat in silence, staring emptily at the wall for a while.

The look on Deeks's face…

She shook herself. She should go check on Jack.

Kensi managed to pull herself to her feet once again and venture outside. It took some roaming, especially since she was still out of it, to locate the man she once called her fiancé. He was ushering the girl (although Kensi really didn't notice her in the chopper) into a tent for medical attention.

Jack turned, saw Kensi, and caught her eye. It was all she needed to slowly make her way over to him.

For a long moment, they just stared at each other. And suddenly, everything felt very clear to Kensi. Jack was not the marine she fell in love with over ten years ago. He couldn't have possibly changed more…and the same went for herself. The people remained, but time pushed on, and those very people were forced to deal with time's tempest.

"Are you alright?" he inquired.

The sound of a helicopter tore her away from Jack's face for a moment. She knew who was on board, and was fully aware of the fact that she was going to have to say something. But Kensi didn't know how much longer her walls and brigades would last.

She nodded absentmindedly, "I will be. When I get home."

"You are a strong woman. You always have been. Do not doubt yourself."

Kensi decided it would just be better to ignore his comment. "The CIA are still looking for you. Where will you go?"

"Wherever the transport will take me."

The two remained in silence for several long minutes. Jack finally pulled her in for a small embrace before stepping back. He ran his hands down her arms in a comforting silence.

"If there's any way, I'll be in touch," Jack assured her.

Kensi nodded, afraid that anything she might say would cause her to crumble. "Take off. Granger won't be able to hold off the CIA for long."

Jack called the young girl from the tent, and walked away without another word. Kensi's gaze followed past him and settled on a familiar blond surfer. She couldn't tear her eyes away from him.

Her will power was quickly failing.

"Hey." He greeted tentatively, unsure of what to say.

Kensi took one look at him, and felt a cascade of emotion bubbling over. She let out a quiet gasp, trying to get enough air.

"Um…Sabatino and Sajadi are out of surgery. Doc says they're going to be okay."

"Oh, thank God. That's good," she manages to answer.

"I'm really glad you're alive."

Kensi can only nod, emotions reaching a boiling point and finds herself buried in his arms and muscular chest. She could stay there for the rest of the earth's existence and not move.

She can faintly hear familiar voices from behind, and it's enough to draw her out of his embrace.

"They laid out a spread for us in mess," Sam reports jovially. "Wheels up in two hours. And Granger got us a direct flight into Edwards."

Kensi's voice cracks, "thank you guys for what you did."

Sam and Callen somehow knew that they had best be going. So Kensi couldn't help but feel relieved when the team leader dismissed with, "See you at mess."

"See you at the mess," Deeks echoes. He turns his attention back to Kensi.

And when she feels the ocean eyes on her expectantly, all resolve cracks. Her voice breaks completely as she manages to choke out, "it was really bad."

Deeks reels her back into his strong arms just as the tears start freely escaping her eyes. "Shh. No, it's okay. Come here. Come here."

Kensi finds herself weeping into his shoulder, unable to stop the trembling.

"It's okay. I got you."

He holds her head closer, and she desperately hangs on to him as if the Taliban would come and rip him away.

"We're going home…" his voice breaks a little as he repeats, "…we're going home."

And maybe, the tiniest bit of hope fluttered in Kensi's chest.

End Note:

I can continue this if people are interested in a short fic of the aftermath, only about five to ten chapters long. Let me know in the reviews!

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