As it says in the summary, I am finally editing this story. It's long over due. Chapters have been taken down so i can edit them properly and will be reposted once im done.

I was reading through it and couldnt help but cringe. It was almost a year ago that i posted this fic, and id like to think that ive improved since then lol Thanks for all the reviews and such even though it hadn't been proof read :P

Much love xOx

Chapter One.

- To risk causing pain to a loved one, for the sake of another. Is it a hidden form of courage ? -

It's been nearly eight years since I moved away from Magnolia. Can you believe it? Eight years..

Time.. It passes by so slowly and yet at the same time, too fast. And as the days turn into the weeks, the weeks into months, and the months into years.. you can't help but wonder where it all went and look back on the 'what ifs'..

I'd say that I am not one of those people. That I don't think about my past. But I'm a terrible liar, so it wouldn't matter if I did. You'd see right through it anyway..

Not a day goes by that I don't think about my family. Sometimes when I'm alone I like to create images in my head of what you all look like now, and if you all act the same.

Like Erza. Do you still enjoy a slice of cheesecake after a mission? I can still remember the air of peace and serenity that would surround you after each bite. Your elegance and strength always amazed me.. I wish I had your grace.

Does Gray still have that disturbingly hilarious habit of stripping without a second thought? Does Juvia still fawn over him? Does he still act as though he doesn't love every minute of it? I really hope not Gray.

And what of Wendy? My goodness.. how old must you be now? 18? 19? I bet you're even more beautiful than you were as a child.. are you still the sweet, caring girl that I remember Wendy? ... silly question right? Of course you are..

I've finished my novel Levy.. the one I promised you'd be the first to read? I've also written a few more.. I suppose it's my way of making up for leaving you.. one day, I hope you'll get to read them..

And you..

Are you still as loud and reckless as I remember? Do you still treasure your family more than your own life?

Are... are you happy?

I hope so.. honestly. I do.. I hope that your life turned out the exact way you wanted it..

If it has.. then I am happy..

I know that we didn't part on good terms. Hell.. that's an understatement.. but I still should not have kept the truth from you.. I wonder if you'll hate me for it. For not telling you about them. I just pray that if ever you find out.. you can also find it in yourself to forgive me..

I've told myself constantly that it's for your own good. That's it's for you why I kept them to myself. You told me to leave, to never look back, so I did. I've also had to remind myself that you don't deserve to know them because even though we didn't work out.. you shouldn't have asked me to leave.

But those are just excuses for me to hide behind because I know that if you knew, you'd love them as much as I do.. you'd want to spend time with them.. I'd have to watch them walk away with you and the love of your life and as much as I know it's wrong.. that it's incredibly selfish of me.. I don't think I could handle that.

I still love you, Natsu.. and Mavis does it hurt.. but they are mine.. they're the only connection I have left of you.. and I'll be damned if I have to share them with another woman.

I miss you.. I think about you all the time.. I can't forget about you, that's one of your conditions that I've failed to accomplish.. it's impossible and I'm not going to waste my time trying.

You will always be the only one for me, Natsu.

Always.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Small droplets of water fell on to the thin sheet of paper causing the words to become blurry and blotched together.

"Kai? Do you think.. she wants to go back to Magnolia?"

Kais reached over and took the paper from his sisters trembling hands with a small frown on his face. "You really know how to ask stupid questions, don't you Suki." The blonde said harshly. "Of course she doesn't! And do you know why? Because he's there."

Sukis' fists clenched and she jumped to feet, her onyx eyes shining with tears. "Quit being such a jerk Kai!" She yelled. "Dad doesn't know we exist so why do you hate him so much huh?!"

"He hurt mother!"

Sukis' lip trembled as her brother growled down at the letter.

"He broke her heart and made her leave! That's why I hate him! And don't call him dad!"

"I know.. but still.." she whimpered. "Momma said so herself.. if he did know about us.. things would be different.."

"I knew we shouldn't have read this stupid thing!" Kais snarled and began tearing it to shreds. "You've become even more stupid than earlier!"

"Shut up!" The little girl screamed.

"He told her to leave and never come back! That man is a complete waste of space! get it through your stupid head!" He hissed through gritted teeth. "The sooner you accept that the better!"

Without another word Suki spun on her heel and fled the room in tears.

Kais glared down at the scattered bits of paper, his mood now dark and gloomy because of his sisters inability to see things for what they were. It didn't matter if that man knew nothing about them.. his mother was right. After what he did, he didn't deserve them. None of them.

The living room door opened a few short moments later and a pink haired woman popped her head in.

"Your mother will be home shortly young master, time to wash up for dinner."

"Yes ma'am.." The blonde replied instantly. "I'll just pack our books away first.."

Virgo looked down the hall before returning her gaze to the scowling blonde standing in the middle of the living room.

"It is not a crime for the young lady to wish she knew her father is it? do you not hope for the same?" She inquired curiously, even though she pretty much knew the answer already. And that saddened her immensely.

Kais shook his head and looked up when the maid walked over and knelt in front of him.

"Then that is your choice." she said softly, placing a hand on his shoulder. "But your sister longs for the opposite, and it is your duty as an elder brother to help her, bar judgement. She needs understanding and comfort from the one that has been by her side since birth."

Kais was certain he heard a lecture somewhere in there and hung his head in shame.

"You may go wash up, I shall clean in here for you."

Nodding meekly Kais shuffled out of the room but instead of going to the bathroom he headed for the door that was decorated in so much pink that it made him wonder how it could possibly be her favorite color when she dressed and acted like a boy most times.

The sound of her muffled sobs reached his ears causing his hand to halt mid-air and drop to his side. He hadn't meant to snap at her like that, it was just so confusing to him how she could still think the world of a stranger that practically tossed their mother away like yesterdays leftovers. Had she no sense of loyalty? Was her head really that thick?

"You're not a bad person...you still love Momma...right daddy?"

His brow furrowed and his hands clenched. He could just picture her laying on her bed and staring at the photo of their parents, the one their mother had given to her on their 5th birthday. She would always talk to it, or more specifically him. she 'd tell him about her day and all the new things she learnt, the people she had talked to, and for some reason it severely irritated him.

"She needs understanding and comfort and it is your duty as an elder brother, to help her."

Virgos' words kept repeating in his head over and over as he thought of his teary eyed sister on the opposite side of the door, he really hated it when they cried.

She had said it's his duty..that he needed to help her.

But how could he? How was he supposed to convince her that the man's no good when they haven't even met? And then a thought popped into his head.

But.. could he really do that to his mother?

"Maybe one day...we can be a family...that's all I want.."

Hearing her hopeful voice fuelled his determination to make her see sense and so without any further regard to how his decision would effect their mother, he burst inside the room.

"Leave me alone Kais, I'm not hungry."

He ignored her request completely and took a deep breath before speaking.

"Im sorry I upset you Suki, It was mean..what I said...I shouldn't have snapped at you like that.."

She glanced up at him before sighing and looking back at the frame in her hands.

"I know you don't like to think about him Kai, but I...I can't help it." She whispered, running a finger over the pink haired man grinning back at her.

Kais nodded and stuffed his hands in his pockets.

"I want to ask you something." He said slowly, turning his head to stare out the window.

"If...If you got to see for yourself that he really doesn't give a crap about mother...about us...would you drop your ridiculous fantasy of us becoming a happy family one day?"

His question shocked her and he could see the confusion shining in her eyes through her reflection in the glass. She bit her lip as her eyes shifted back to the photo she was holding and nodded her head.

"Of course I would." She replied. "I mean..It'd hurt...real bad...but at least I'd know for sure if that was really true...you know? He doesn't even know we exist Kai.. and I don't want to wait until I'm old before I get the chance to meet him.."

Kais knew that what he was about to say was going to put them both in hot water once they got caught. He knew that it wasn't right by his mother what he was planning to do, and that it could cause even more heartache for her. But it needed to be done. Suki wouldn't let it go otherwise.

"Why do you ask? and why do you look so serious all of a sudden?"

Kais turned to her once more and took the picture from her. His eyes swept over the younger version of their mother and a small smile settled on his face.

He really hoped she wouldn't leave his punishment up to that creepy bull spirit like last time..

"Tomorrow.." He said, now staring at the emblem on the mans arm.

"You and I are going to find a fairy."

A/N ~ And there is the re-edited chapter one of my first ever fanfic! The rest shall follow in time.

Hugs&kisses for all xoX