Ivan Braginsky was in love with Wang Yao. He'd never been in love before. Every class, he would sit on the other side of the room to Yao, and watch him with dull, half-lidded eyes. Yao was the most drop-dead gorgeous person Ivan had ever seen, and he was not sure that Yao knew it. He came to school in slightly baggy clothes that in no way showed his lovely figure, and his sleek hair was always up in a messy bun or hasty ponytail. He wore thick-rimmed glasses, like that you would get at 3D movies. He took out the lenses, and simply wore them as a fashion statement.

He would watch through every class, observing and studying Yao. At lunchtimes, he would stand and lean up against the wall, or at least that's what he tried to do. He would do so near Yao's table, and watch him eat and chatter away with his friends. His friends were not that kind: an American with a hero complex, a snotty and obnoxious German, and a pissy Englishman: all in lower grades than Yao. Ivan disliked all of them. Yao did not belong with them, he thought to himself.

The first year, he had watched Yao become a blossoming figure within the school society, a young boy with a heart set on cooking and clothes design. He had found friends with ease. He had a falling out with his brother, and that caused drama and anguish in his little teenage heart. Ivan would glare at his brother whenever he passed, and was satisfied when the boy received a chill down his spine.

Second year didn't hold much too interest. Yao was proving himself quite an academic, with good grades all around. There was something at home, some stumble that caused a falter in Yao's every step. Third year was quite the same. Ivan would always watch from afar, too timid to approach Yao, and too cowardly to even consider speaking to him.

Fourth year brought the fear. Ivan would watch with high nerves as Yao passed. He would gaze and stare, observing every last detail. He was worried, really. Yao was to be leaving next year. Leaving him all alone. Again. He was sure to trail Yao in every hallway, to sit closer to him in classes.

It was currently fifth year. The last year of Yao's education here at the high school. Ivan grew more melancholy as every day passed, but he tried to stay positive. He wished to visit his sisters these days, but they had graduated many years ago. He missed them. The days, weeks, months passed. It was nearing the end of the school year.

Ivan was never fond of the heat. Summer was never his favourite season, either. He didn't much notice the weather nowadays, though. He was much more focused on Wang Yao. Final exams were coming around, and Ivan's panic only increased. He had realised some time ago that one day, before Yao graduated, he would have to admit his feelings. He trailed closely after Yao in the hallways.

The helpless infatuation, this pounding feeling in his heart whenever he neared the boy; it was almost too much to take. He felt dizzy when he came too close to the boy, heart throbbing in his chest. Kind of. It came to the day of Yao's last exam. Ivan waited outside, apprehensively fiddling with his pale fingers. Everything would be fine. He would tell Yao that he loved him. If Yao did not return his feelings, so be it. Ivan would still admire and relish him, only from afar.

At last, after what seemed like a whole other lifetime of waiting, the door opened, and the class began to file out of the room, all chattering about how glad they were that exams were over, and that they could finally start to pack up their things! Graduation was soon, wasn't it? Yao himself left the classroom with a wide smile, and Ivan's stomach fluttered at the adorable sight.

Yao left the school corridors and headed outside, taking refuge under a small tree for the lunchbreak, and standing there. Ivan stood in front of him, at first curious as to what he was doing. He was taking out his phone, and texting something to someone.

"Hello, Yao," Ivan said quietly, playing with his hands in front of him. He found that his eyes could not lift to meet Yao's, and he could not stand any closer than two metres away. "My name is Ivan Braginsky." It was a start, he supposed. Introductions were always to be the most important, were they not? Yao didn't look up, and Ivan's confidence drooped. He continued nonetheless. "I'm in tenth grade. I come from Russia, and I have two sisters. I like Science, and Biology."

Yao's thin fingers continued to tap away at his phone screen, and he only lifted a hand from there to flick some hair from his eyes. "I have watched you for a long time," Ivan continued shyly, lifting up his scarf to cover his mouth out of embarrassment. "I have come to the conclusion that I am in love with you." The words left him, and he felt blessed when Yao looked up.

That momentary glance, it was enough to set Ivan's heart aflame. He had looked! He had acknowledged him!

"Alfred, you're late!" Yao laughed, and Ivan felt his heart shatter. That look had not been for him. He didn't have the time to turn before the American called simply ran through him, skidding to a halt in front of Yao.

"Dude, shit," Alfred laughed. "You can't just text me when I'm skipping class and be all 'oh my god I just finished finals let's grab Artie and celebrate', and then tell me I'm late."

Ivan had been dead a very long time. A spirit, a ghost, latching onto the school and being forever unseen. He had died here, within the school grounds. It is both amazing and tragic how far bullies will take things. He had watched his sisters move on and carry on with their lives, without looking back. He had seen Yao come to this school, and found his new object of admiration. Of course, Yao could not see him. He never could, and he never would.

He took staggered steps forward, opening his arms widely and trying to focus despite the heavy buzzing clogging up his mindspace. It hurt to get too close to living people. Their souls created feedback, so to say, and it became hard to think properly. He put his arms around Yao, yet they went straight through him, and the boy in question shivered with the sudden coldness of the air.

"Hey, you feel that?" Yao scoffed softly, waving his hand in the air in front of him, effectively striking at Ivan's heart, which he had no idea was even there. "I'm cold, sheesh."

"Nah, dude, you're probably just in need of some coffee. We'll grab Artie and go, right?" Alfred laughed, throwing an arm around Yao's shoulders and starting to walk him away from the tree. "That nerd'll probably be in class." Ivan was quiet, and simply watched his love walk away. There was no point to following.

Someone with a living heartbeat would never be able to hear the quiet echo of a boy so far gone.

a oneshot a day keeps the doctor away. well, i dont know, is your physical practitioner into boy on boy angst/fluff? lmao heh

anyway anyway rate and review if you'd like! any feedback is appreciated uwu