Warning: Crack, mostly, I guess?

He was trapped. Curse the King of Clubs. He looked at the invitation card, stating, "OTP" in bold capital letters which he guessed stands for One Tea Party. The card was pink, decorated with flowers and ribbons and it was so unlike the King of Clubs to send cards which were so girly. So, he was kind of suspicious at first but then he thought it would not hurt to pay a visit to the neighbouring kingdom.

He had gotten permission from his dear brother, King of Hearts, Mayuzumi Chihiro to attend the tea party and the ruler of his kingdom had given him the green card to go and have fun.

So, here he was, standing in the middle of hallway like a lost lamb until he saw words floating in the middle of the air which read, "You are trapped in my castle. So, you must proceed in order to get out of here or you will be trapped in here forever." The words disappeared to be replaced by, "You have 11 tasks to complete in which in ten of the rooms, you must get a card each from the card holders of the rooms, provided if you complete their task successfully. If not, you will never be able to get all ten cards which is vital for your final task, the eleventh task."

Frowning, the Queen of Hearts wondered what the tasks it spoke about were. He hoped that they would not be too difficult because he would not want to stay a hostage in the King of Clubs' castle. His brother would be so furious and he would demand a war against the Kingdom of Clubs. That would be really bad because not only will both kingdoms sacrifice lives, his own kingdom would lose to the Kingdom of Clubs. And the Kingdom of Hearts would have to surrender more land to the King of Clubs, which he did not want to see happening.

"Are you ready?" The words questioned him. "If you are, please enter the room at the end of the hallway."

Kuroko Tetsuya walked down the dark hall, using the wall as his guide, reaching a black door at the end. Pushing it open, he entered a small room with a crystal ball in the middle of the room, sitting in front of a cloaked figure.

"Welcome, Queen of Hearts. Please take a seat." The teal-haired male bowed in greeting before planting his butt on the only other chair in the dimly-lit room.

"Now, your first task is really easy. You will be given ten questions to which you must only answer yes or no. If you say 'because', which is the taboo word, you may not get the card from me and you must proceed to the next room behind me without the card."

That sounded easy to the shorter man.

"Why are you here?"

Kuroko Tetsuya opened his mouth and almost said the taboo word. He was just in time to stop himself from saying it and he answered, "No." This would not be as easy as he thought.

"Have you seen the King of Clubs' face?"

"No."

"What is your favourite food?"

"No."

They proceeded with the next few questions until they reached the last. The figure in front of him smirked and asked, "Why do you think we should let you out?" The cloak was dropped and Kuroko recognised him as Himuro Tstsuya, Soldier #10 of the Kingdom of Clubs.

The bluenette bit his lip. He was so close to answering, 'because I need to get home or my brother would be worried about me.' Which was the normal response from him if anyone asked him the reason why he could not stay out late.

"Yes," he answered, sighing in relief when he finally completed the first task. Now he could move on to the next level. But before that, he needed to obtain a card from the other occupant of the room.

"You may take the card. It's in the crystal ball" With that, Himuro disappeared into thin air, leaving Kuroko to figure how to get his first card from inside the crystal ball.

At last, he decided to throw it to the ground to retrieve said card.

Sure enough there was a card among the shattered pieces of glass. He picked up the card and stared at the single word printed on it. It wrote 'because.'

Shrugging his shoulders, he kept the card in this breast pocket and moved to the other door, opposite to the one he entered previously.

It led him down another hallway apparently. He looked at the abstract paintings hanging on the wall and wondered if the King of Clubs was someone who appreciates art.

Just when he thought there might be a card somewhere in the Hall of Paintings, a white door appeared to his left.

Kuroko turned the door knob, pushing the door open with a creak which caused him to almost jump out of his skin.

Peeking in, he was blasted off by the loud music which reverberated through the room. It seemed like there was a party going on.

Closing the door behind him, he approached a drunk man, asking him what his second task was. The man had answered him with a lame pun which was not helpful at all.

He decided to look around to get a clue as to what his task in the room was. Sure enough, there was a wine bottle displayed at one corner of the room. Scrutinising the label, he saw that they were telling him about his next mission.

'There is a word almost everyone in this room repeat frequently. You are only given one chance to guess it.'

Kuroko strained his ears to listen to other people's conversation. It was rude to do so but he was forced to if he wanted to get out of this noisy room, to get out of this castle.

"This cake is cakelicious."

"Do you think this is funny?"

"Where is my beer?" The bluenette moved around, squeezing in between people and listen attentively, avoiding the drunk ones. One of them almost passed out on him but his friend caught him in time, grinning at the shorter male.

"Did anyone see my glasses?"

"Wonder if the king is gonna join us."

"Are you stupid? He is a busy man."

It was a really difficult task because none of them were talking about the same thing at all. It took long enough to figure out that the word does not necessarily have to be a verb or a noun. It could be just about anything. That's right.

"The answer is 'is'!" He yelled to no one in particular but his voice was drowned in the crowd. Grumbling, he approached a sober-looking woman, tapping her on the shoulder.

"Hello, do you know who is in charge of handling my second task?"

"What second task?" She asked, tilting her head.

"I was given tasks by the King of Clubs to complete."

Recognition dawned. "Ah. So, you're the Queen of Hearts then?"

He nodded uneasily.

"That would be me. I'm Riko Aida. So what is your answer then?"

Opening his mouth, he was about to give his answer but then she had to interject.

"Hey, why not you join us instead and forget about the task?"

Frowning, he said, "The answer is 'is'." She pouted at the clear rejection to her invitation, handing him a card. He flipped it over and read the code. This must be a joke, to have a code consisting his answer previously.

Nonetheless, he slipped the card behind the first card and moved to his next destination. Honestly, if the first two tasks were that easy, he would have no problem getting out before nightfall.

He entered a vast room with a human-sized shogi in front of him. Grimacing, he strode over to the 'king' piece and stood there. He was not good at shogi even though he understood the basics of it. This would turn out badly. He should not have underestimated the King of Clubs after two simple tasks. The previous missions were just warm-ups, to prepare him for what was ahead. This would be something the king would do.

"Greetings." A green-haired man at the other end of the board said, fixing his glasses. He was holding a poker card with the Queen of Hearts on it.

Eyes narrowing, he was forced to look away by the other man clearing his throat.

"Is there anything wrong with my lucky item?"

Kuroko shook his head. "So, what am I supposed to do here?"

"As you can see, this is a human-sized shogi in front of you. If you win against me, you may get the key to the card stored within your King. And no, you can't break the shogi piece because it is made with steel on the inside."

The teal-haired male huffed. Busted.

"So, I'll allow you to start first."

At first, he thought the shogi pieces might be heavy if he pushed them since they were made from steel. Surprisingly, they weren't. He pushed his knight forward.

"Smart move. It seemed like you are no rookie like Akashi had estimated you to be. Then, I shall not go easy on you."

Who was this Akashi person? He had not met anyone by that name before.

They did not play for long before Kuroko was in danger of losing. He had fewer pieces than the other but he was no Queen of Hearts if he had any thoughts of letting the opponent win.

A few more moves and he said, "Check."

"I have underestimated you, foe." Midorima, the other man's name he learnt was, spoke. "I am trapped by your generals, it seems."

Kuroko gave him a blank stare.

"I have been too lenient on you." A piece of the cerulean-eyed man's general was captured and he no longer had the upper hand. Biting his lower lip, he moved his rook forward.

The game soon ended with Midorima cornering Kuroko's king. But what he did not know was that his opponent had lured him into a trap.

"Checkmate, Midorima-kun."

The bespectacled male smiled a small smile, offering a hand to him. He took it in his own and shook it.

"Good game."

Kuroko only nodded.

"Now, I understand why Akashi is interested in you."

Question marks appeared above Kuroko's head. That person's name again. Just who was this Akashi person?

"You surpassed everyone's expectation. I pray that you would be able to complete all tasks." Midorima passed a golden key to the bluenette.

"Thank you." Kuroko bowed before he went to retrieve his third card. He unlocked the wooden door and then the steel door with the same key. Sure enough, there was his next card, lying upwards with the word, 'AkaKuro' on it.

Currently, he had three cards. Another seven more to go.

The next room held a table at the corner, facing the window and two chairs. One of them was occupied by a dark-skinned man with blue hair. He was holding an ecchi magazine and he did not even realise the Queen of Hearts entering. It seemed like he was too absorbed into looking at his naked girls.

"Please give me the next task." His voice startled the other and the gangster-like man hid his magazine behind him in embarrassment.

"Don't tell Akashi I was reading a magazine. I'm supposed to be reading documents."

Akashi-san must be an important person if this person mentioned the name just like Modrima-kun had.

"I won't." It was not like he knew that person at all.

"Okay. I shall deliver your next task to you. Akashi said and I quote, "Complete the crossword puzzle on the table and Daiki will hand you the fourth card." End of sentence. So, here's the puzzle." The man tapped on a paper in front of him.

Kuroko took a seat opposite of the taller male, picked up the pencil and started working on the crossword puzzle. Most of the questions were basketball-related, a game he was very passionate about but he had never been able to dunk before because he was short. How he wished he had the other's height, he thought as he glanced at the other, who was now busily reading some important papers.

He looked at his questions again, filling in the answers. There were difficult questions but he managed to answer them alright until a certain someone started distracting him by commenting about his short stature.

The cerulean-haired male smiled but his smile did not reach his eyes.

"Do you want to die?"

And that shut the other up.

Seriously, why was this idiot here?

The silence did not last for long though.

Aomine Daiki was sighing too loudly all the way that Kuroko had a hard time concentrating on his questions. The last time he sighed, Kuroko almost broke the pencil into two.

The other groaned, tossing the documents to the table.

Irritated, the shorter male picked up one of them and read it over. There were so many mistakes. It was a proposal. Why would that Akashi let this idiot handle such important documents?

"Here, let me help you. Let's go over this quickly."

"Really? That would be great. Thank you! You're my life saver." The dark-skinned man hugged him but the sudden thunder outside made him release Kuroko so quickly as if the thunder would strike him. Which was weird.

The two went over the documents with the bluenette's aid and they were done an hour later. Kuroko had almost forgot he was supposed to complete the crossword puzzle. However, he guessed that the documents were actually part of his task too because they were related to his kingdom.

He continued to finish his puzzle and let the other checked his answers when he was done.

"Thanks a bunch for your help, kiddo. Here's your card. Good luck!"

With that, the other man disappeared through the door he had entered from.

His fourth card wrote, 'absolute'. What was so absolute?

"Welcome, welcome, Queen of Hearts to my territory." An ebony-haired man ushered him in, pushing him into a chair, patting him on his shoulder.

"Let's play a game of poker. If you win, I'll give you a kiss. I'm sure Midorima-kun won't mind." The other was grinning so widely Kuroko wondered if it hurt.

"But I don't want a kiss," he deadpanned.

The man pouted. "My name is Takao. What's your name, Chibi-tan?"

"I'm not small and why should I give you my name?"

"But I gave you mine," he whined.

Kuroko sighed. "Kuroko. Call me Kuroko."

"Okay, Kuroko-tan! Let's give you the next task." Takao took out a box of poker and spilled the card on the table. He shuffled the cards and dealt the cards between them and another two person who appeared out of nowhere.

He stared. They did not just appear out of nowhere. And here he thought he was the only one with that ability.

"You need to win against all three of us or you'll never get out of here," Takao said in a sing-song voice.

He flipped open his cards. They were…okay. Not too bad but he wished he could have better cards. Seeing the other three men were all having neutral expressions, their card must be not that good either. Or maybe they were just pretending.

Takao started with a straight, causing the other two occupants of the room to sweat-dropped. They passed and Kuroko too.

The game went on and it looked like Takao was winning seeing that he had the least cards just when Kuroko decided to spread five cards on the table, smirking. It was a straight flush. Everyone else in the room groaned. All along, Kuroko had the best cards out of all of them. Now he had only one card left. He placed it on top of the rest of his cards, smiling smugly.

"I win." Kuroko extended his hand out for his card.

"I demand that we replay!" Takao demanded, throwing his cards on the desk.

Kuroko shrugged his shoulders. He would not mind another game or two. After all, the outcome would be the same because how could a mere soldier of Clubs beat the Queen of Hearts? The answer is, he won't ever be able to. Not in this lifetime. Nor the next. Nor the next next. Well, forever.

Grumbling, the dark-haired male handed the bluenette a card with the word, 'rule' on it. He was half way there now. This is getting interesting. He wondered what his next task would be.

Kuroko exited the room happily.

He was getting tired of this already. He wanted to go home and crashed into his four poster bed and have a good night's rest. But here he was, stuck in another kingdom, completing tasks. He could escape through the windows but he suspected the King of Clubs would be smart enough to place guards all around the castle. When he went to check, his suspicion was confirmed. The castle was heavily guarded, not to prevent anyone from entering but to prevent him from escaping.

He entered a rainbow-coloured room which hurt his eyesight really badly.

A person stood in the middle of the room, clad in armour with a long blade by his side.

"Pick up your choice of sword and fight me, that is your task. If you manage to wound me even in the slightest, I will give you your next code." The man pointed to his left where a number of swords were hung on the wall.

Kuroko approached them, testing a few swords before selecting a light one. He swung it around and then nodded to himself. This would do, though he wished he had carry his very own sword with him. But who would bring along their sword to a tea party, right?

He bent forward in a ready stance, his sword in front of him.

The other person, Nijimura, smirked, beckoning him to attack and so Kuroko charged, their swords clanging against each other. The shorter of the two pushed forward, causing the black-haired man to backed a few steps before he started putting all of his strength to trip his opponent. Kuroko almost lost his balance when Nijimura decided to plunge his sword forward, almost scratching the other on his cheek but the bluenette was quick enough to counter his attack.

The way they fought was like two person dancing to a non-existent music that it would leave anyone mesmerised if they were to watch the two fight against each other.

The two opponents' skills were almost on par except Kuroko had an upper hand when it came to height. His centre of gravity was lower and he was able to duck to avoid the other's sword and he swung his own blade, his blunt end hitting the other on the knee, causing the other to fall over, dropping his sword with a clatter.

Kuroko pointed his sword at the other's neck. Nijimura's startled face morphed into a smile.

"Now, do you yield?"

"Never."

The taller male pulled out a dagger and managed to wound Kuroko in the cheek.

"I win," he said as he watched blood trickling slowly down the bluenette's cheek.

Kuroko wiped the crimson fluid against the sleeve of his shirt, his expression blank as ever.

"You should check your knee."

Nijimura inspected his knee which was not protected with an armour. But how? The Queen of Hearts managed to scrape him in the knee. There was dried blood soaking his torn pants.

Grousing, he tossed a card to Kuroko who thanked him with a bow.

"Now, get a move on. Akashi doesn't like waiting for too long."

Kuroko looked at the card. Kingdom.

A blonde-haired male bounded over to him, shaking his hand vigorously with a face-splitting grin which reminded of the person who had played poker against him. What was his name again? Taka? Takou? Tokou? Whatever his name was, maybe this person is his non-identical twin.

"Kurokocchi!" He squeezed the teal-haired man in a tight hug.

"Can't breathe," Kuroko said, his face turning blue from lack of oxygen. At once, the other person released him but he was still smiling so gleefully as if nothing could bring down his mood. Not even the rain.

Kuroko sucked in air, fanning himself. Some people just do not know what it meant by personal space, do they?

"Kurokocchi, I'm so glad that you're here!"

"Do I know you?"

"You're so mean," The other cried out, sobbing in the corner of the room. Kuroko ignored him and looked around. There was a pearl in the middle and probably a hundred of empty shells on the table next to it. He approached the glass housing the pearl and caught side of a piece of paper. It read, 'Pick the right size of seashell for this pearl. You are given three chances to choose. If you fail, the pearl will explode along with your card.'

Staring at the numerous seashells in horror, how was he supposed to know which was the right size? This is ridiculous. Unless…

"Hey, what's your name?" The blond looked up at him with his crying model-like face. Such a waste of beauty.

"It's Kise! How could you forget about me? You're so mean! Why is everyone so mean to me?" Because you're annoying.

"Kise-kun, I didn't forget you. I was just pretending." Honestly, who was this Kise guy? However, he would not be surprised if he had forgotten this person's existence. He sure can be irritating.

"Kurokocchi…" The other's eyes were sparkling so brightly which reminded him of a dog. Oh, how he wished he could put a collar around the other's neck.

"Before you come and hug me, do you know which seashell belongs to this pearl?"

"Of course! It's this one over here." Kise picked up one shell in particular, showing it to Kuroko. The bluenette swore he could see ears on the other's head and a tail wagging behind him.

The pearl fitted nicely in the seashell and it glowed. The two stared at it for a long time.

"Akashicchi said you could keep it if you succeed this task." Kuroko stopped wondering who this person named Akashi was. Instead, he kept the pearl close to him with a small smile.

"Oh yeah. Card, card." Kise rummaged around in his bag which appeared out of nowhere, pulling out a piece of card, handing it to the cerulean-eyed male.

'Shall'. It sounded like shell.

And when Kuroko left, Kise waving him with a handkerchief, wishing him luck, there was a sudden hiss in the room,, causing the occupant to freeze.

"Ryouta..."

"Y-yes, Akashicchi?" The blond cowered in the corner.

"You're supposed to NOT help him answer the question."

The bluenette could hear a distant cry but he ignored it. Kise-kun was annoying anyway. So, he has no desire to help him.

The eighth room he entered, he almost had a heart attack. A fire-breathing dragon stood in the middle of the room in all its glory. His eyes were golden and piercing as if it could look into Kuroko's soul. He felt exposed and he involuntarily shivered.

A munching purple-haired man was sitting at a corner calmly as if he had no care for the world. He had bags of sweets scattered around him and it was a wonder if he did not suffer from diabetes. And that person looked gigantic. Did he grow on sweets or what?

"Are you the Queen of Hearts?" Kuroko had a hard time understanding him because his mouth was filled with a large lollipop. And it looked like he had no intention of letting it go either.

"Nice to meet you." He bowed in greeting.

"Aka-chin said you need to tame him and put him back to his cage." The giant pointed at the dragon and Kuroko gulped. Among all of the tasks, this was so far the most difficult and he dreaded what would come next.

He approached the scarlet dragon slowly, putting his hands up in a gesture of surrendering to the creature. The dragon snorted, swishing its tail around and thumping it against the floor, making the ground shook. It was a surprise the room did not collapse.

Kuroko held out a hand like he had watched his brother did before when he wanted the dragon to answer to him. But those were blue dragons and they were friendlier creatures compared to red dragons.

Shutting his eyes to prepare for the worse, he waited for the dragon to crawl over to him. It stared at Kuroko for a while before deciding to ignore the human. It was not his master so why should he answer to him?

Huffing, the bluenette neared the dragon and scratched it on his belly, sending a delightful shiver down the dragon's spine. He had seen his brother did that and he was told that dragons like being stroke that way. And it was a secret between his brother and him. It would be a taboo if anyone else were to know about that and the dragons might succumb to the evil.

The creature purred under his touch and followed him when he strode over to the cage. The dragon did not wish to be caged again so he stood stubbornly at the gate.

"Hey, I promise to come play with you next time, alright? Be a good boy and go in please?" Kuroko whispered, caressing the dragon's scales.

As though it understood him perfectly, it went in obediently and let Kuroko latched his gate.

"Eh. You managed to tame him." The purple-haired man said lazily as he stood beside him, eating a bag of potato chips. His sudden appearance shocked the bluenette.

"Here you go." He handed a card to Kuroko.

The words written on it was, 'the'.

He entered a pink room filled with flowers of various types and colours, He recognised some of them were from his kingdom. He picked up a red rose and a few blue hyacinths, arranging them in a bunch. He secretly learned to arrange flowers since he was young when he had free time so he knew which colour goes best with which and how should they be positioned.

He turned around to see a pink-haired woman staring at him, amused by his action. "I've never known any boys who would appreciate flowers before."

She jumped off from the table and glided over to him gracefully, with her long gown flowing behind her.

"My name is Momoi Satsuki."

Kuroko gave the bunch of flowers to him, making her giggle behind her hands.

"Thank you." She took them from his hands and placed the flowers in a vase, admiring it.

"Uh…" She looked over to him, placing a finger on her lips. "Shh… Just watch."

He waited for something to happen and was surprised by a music floating in the air in the background. He looked at the flowers and they were singing.

They spoke of stories from the past, of their kind owner who comes to see them every day and shower them with love and a lot more. Each song was beautiful and it sent a sense of calmness to the bluenette.

The female moved towards him. "Here's a hint for you to figure out on your own."

He turned in her direction, showing her he was paying apt attention to her.

"Something you brought along is a code. And no, they're not the cards given to you after you completed the tasks."

He tilted his head. Something he brought along? But he did not bring along anything except himself and his clothes. It couldn't be clothes, can it?

"My shirt?" he enquired. She chuckled.

"No."

Realisation dawned upon him.

"Is it my invitation card?" he questioned.

She nodded and he took out the invitation card which had three alphabets on the front cover. At the back of it was the address of the Kingdom of Clubs and nothing else. So, he had assumed that it stood for…

"It says OTP. One Tea Party?" Kuroko asked, slipping the card back into his breast pocket. It was fortunate he had brought it along with him or he would be stuck in this castle forever.

Momoi laughed, explaining to him, "OTP means one true pair."

"Oh." That was peculiar. However, why would the king sent something like that? Surely, the woman jested.

A handsome man with cardinal hair was standing in front of the floor-to-ceiling window, admiring the night sky with twinkling stars decorating it.

Kuroko knocked on the oaken door to announce his arrival. Somewhat this person had this authoritative air around him and he briefly wondered if this person was the king himself but decided against the idea.

"Ah, you have arrived." The man turned to look at him with heterochromatic eyes, his golden eye reminding him of the dragon he tamed hours ago.

"So, what is my second last task?"

"Pick a suit which you think would suit my taste." The redhead said with a gentle smile. He gestured towards a huge walk-in wardrobe to his right.

Kuroko stared agape at the huge selection of clothes available. Even his brother did not possess that many clothes. And most of them were expensive suits.

He had a hard time deciding which one would the other like but he was told to take his own time to choose.

Finally, he opted for a simple black striped suit with a white dress shirt made of silk and a blood red bow to match it.

"Good choice. Now, feel for the pockets." The man had entered the wardrobe to see how he was doing.

The bluenette did as he was asked and found a card in one of the pockets. It said, 'AkaKuro'. It was his second red-black card and it got him thinking what the two colours meant.

"Now, rearrange the ten cards you have obtained, that is my last task for you."

Kuroko spread the cards out in front of him on the floor and started combining the words which did not make sense to him until the other man gave him some help.

"Now, what does it say?"

"AkaKuro Shall Rule The OTP Kingdom Because AkaKuro Is Absolute."

The redhead produced a ring to him on bended knees. "Will you, Kuroko Tetsuya, Queen of Hearts marry me, Akashi Seijuurou, King of Clubs?"

Kuroko did not know what to say. So, all this while, the king had no intention of releasing him at all but the way he propose to him, luring him in, involving him in dangerous situations such as facing dragons and fighting with swords, was romantic. If he were to marry this person, his life would be much more interesting than being trapped in his own castle.

"But I barely know you?"

The redhead smile, "That's why I'm going to court you and make you fall in love with me."

"Alright. Only after you complete five tasks for me, Akashi Seijurou." The king raised an eyebrow.

"Number 1: Embrace me. Number 2: Kiss me on my forehead. Number 3: Kiss me on my eyelids. Number 4: Kiss me on the cheek. Number 5: Kiss me on the lips."

"Consider it done."

And they lived happily after.