I had to write something in relation to this finale. Something that would make me feel better. And as depressing as this is…somehow it does make me feel better.

"Are the kids with Lily?" Tracy asked, smiling as Ted re-entered the room.

"Yeah." He sat next to her and took her hand, looking up to speak to her, but words not coming out. His mouth tensed up to prevent sound as his eyes overflowed.

"Stop," she said, lifting her other hand to put it over his. "Stop this. You have to be strong."

"I am strong," he said. "But I still can't do this."

"Yes you can," she said. "Do it for me. The kids will. They promised, remember? Luke even pinky swore."

"I'm just going to miss you so much," he said. "I'd say I wish it was me, but…"

"But you don't." Tracy nodded in understanding. "Because I don't have to live without you. I'm not the one who has to wake up and deal with it. I hate that I'm leaving you and I hate that Penny and Luke won't have a mother but I've gotten to spend the last years of my life with you three and that's something you guys won't have and…"

"I know." He nodded, tears dripping off his face. "You're the only other person I've met with that reasoning."

"It's why we're an epic love story," she said. "To quote Lily."

"You…" Ted wiped his eyes. "You are the best thing that ever happened to me. And when I see you again…please don't make fun of me, I'll probably be gray, or bald, or…"

"Don't make me laugh," she said, smiling at him. "I can't wait to see you again. And you'll have so many more stories to tell me. Which I'll already know, because I'll be watching, but I'll listen as if it's the first time I'm hearing it. And I'll meet all the people, in person, that you've been telling me about. And if you get into a relationship again, I'll thank her for taking care of you, and…"

"Whoa, whoa whoa," Ted said. "Don't you even start with…"

"Ted," she said, touching his cheek with her pale finger.

"I will never love someone the way I love you."

"I know you won't," she said. "But you're going to be here a long time. Life's hard. If you need someone to help you through the rest of your time…that's okay. We both know what it's like to be alone. It won't change what we had. It won't cheapen it." She smiled again. "Actually, it might cheapen it if you are alone the rest of your life, because I will feel terrible."

"Hey, don't make me laugh," he said, squeezing her hand.

"Ted?" she said.

"Hmmm?"

"I have a favor to ask you."

He let out a shaky breath. "Ask me to bring you an entire Renaissance fair and they will be here in…" he looked at his watch. "An hour. My Renaissance guy's at lunch." He smiled. "Yeah. I have a Renaissance guy."

"I love that you have a Renaissance guy." She smiled. "You'd do anything for me, right?"

"You know that."

She squeezed his hand. "Then get up on this bed and hold me."

"I will hold you…" Ted choked up and put a hand to his mouth. Inadvertently, he'd begun quoting one of their vows. It wasn't supposed to hurt to think back on their vows.

I will hold you as long as we both shall live.

He crawled onto the bed, shifting her gently to make room, then pulled her close and put a kiss on her forehead. "Tracy Mosby, there is nowhere else I'd rather be then beside you."

"Ted Mosby," she said, "You will never be anywhere else. I promise." She tilted her head up so her lips could reach his, then cuddled closer. "Don't ever worry about disappointing me. Don't ever feel like you're letting me go." She paused a long moment before continuing. "No matter what…"

She finished the sentence, kissed him again, then repositioned, as close to him as possible. Ted held her, tears coming to his eyes. Her eyes were closed, her breathing was coming easy, and she looked peaceful and happy. But Ted knew she would never speak again. And he knew she'd knew it too. She'd purposefully made her last words the last sentence of their wedding vows.

No matter what, we will last forever.

I really do feel that since Ted didn't go to Robin for six years, and since he never seemed to miss her as a friend when he was with Tracy, he is going to her because he's getting older and wants companionship from an old friend. There was nothing in that finale to suggest to me that he ever loved her as much as he did Tracy. And I believe that she would have had a talk like this with him – they do both know how awful being alone is, and she understands if he needs to try and make himself happy with someone else while he waits to be reunited with her. And given the kids' enthusiasm that he go to Robin, he must have been a very broken man for a long while after her death – to the point where all they want is for him to have something that helps him be distracted from his grief.

I still hate the finale. I hate that we didn't get a proper goodbye for Tracy. I hate that we didn't see the grieving. Hopefully this might help some people. I don't know if anything really can. I'm broken.