Disclaimer: I don't own the characters of this work of fiction, and no profit, monetary or otherwise, is being made through the writing of this.

A/N: Crack!fic, written for trope bingo, round three - indecent proposal, and cotton candy bingo, round two - being silly

"Why, that's…that's…it's…it's downright…indecent!" Shawn sputtered. He looked at Carlton like he thought the detective had lost his mind.

"C'mon Spencer, it's not like you haven't done this kind of thing before," Carlton cajoled.

He leaned in close, kissed Shawn on the nose, then the lips, then the collarbone. He smiled when Shawn shivered, and made a sound halfway between the mewl of a newborn kitten and the screech of a hawk in response to his touch. It never ceased to amaze him how responsive Shawn was, to even the lightest of touches.

Shawn stuck his lower lip out, and it trembled slightly. "That's not fair; using your manly manliness on me."

"I use I use every weapon available in my arsenal, Spencer." Carlton placed another kiss on Shawn's lips.

"But, you know that about me already." Carlton let his lips linger over Shawn's until Shawn opened his mouth, and placing his hands on either side of Shawn's hips to anchor himself, he deepened the kiss.

Carlton pulled away. Let Shawn breathe, kept his hands on the other man's hips. "Stop stalling, Spencer."

Shawn whined, shifted on his feet. "B…b…but, Lassie. It's…it's not right."

"I've seen you do far, far worse," Carlton said, shuddering.

Inwardly, he lamented that he, as often was the case when it came to him and Shawn (theirs was not an easy liaison), had to be the voice of reason. He couldn't count on Shawn Spencer, psychic detective, to follow the simple laws of logic.

Shawn didn't think in terms of logic – he thought in ever increasing circles that often intersected with other circles that seemingly had zero connection, but, in the end, always did. It never ceased to amaze Carlton how often Shawn got it right. He truly didn't understand how the other man's mind worked, and wasn't sure that he wanted, or needed to.

It was nice, not being able to predict where Shawn would take something. It added a 'spark' to their relationship that Carlton found intriguing. It certainly made their relationship interesting, especially when they brought it to the bedroom. Not being able to predict what his lover would do from night to night was a definite bonus.

Shawn was, in a way, the ultimate puzzle that Carlton couldn't solve in one sitting. Hell, in many sittings. He hoped, and maybe this was a little maudlin, that it would take him at least this lifetime, maybe more, to figure out Shawn Spencer.

"But, Lassie," Shawn whimpered, and he rested his forehead against Carlton's. "I don' wanna. It's just not right."

"Tell you what, Spencer," Carlton said. He slipped his fingers into the back pockets of Shawn's jeans, and delighted in the way that Shawn's breath hitched when he started to massage Shawn's ass. "You do this one little thing for me, and I'll wear my badge tonight. Maybe bring my handcuffs to bed."

"Cops and robbers?" Shawn sounded like a little kid on Christmas morning, and Carlton could see the younger man's eyes light up at the thought of 'playing' cops and robbers. What Carlton had planned, however, was no childhood version of the 'game'; it was every bit an adult activity.

"Umhmm," Carlton caught Shawn's mouth up in another kiss as he made the promise.

"But…" Shawn protested when Carlton finally relinquished his mouth. "It's just not right."

"So you've said," Carlton said drily. "You want the badge and the handcuffs; you're going to have to do it."

"And the tie?" Shawn's voice came out as a squeak, and he fingered the tie in question, turning doleful eyes up at Carlton. He wet his bottom lip, tugged it between his teeth, and dropped his gaze to the tie.

Sighing, and rolling his eyes, Carlton agreed to wear the tie. The things Shawn could do with a tie could take up half a book on improper etiquette. Carlton turned his thoughts away from that, because the Chief's office – blinds closed or not – was no place to encourage that kind of thinking, not when Shawn was sliding the tie between deft fingers, making quiet, appreciative sounds, quivering slightly, as Carlton massaged his ass.

"So, you, uh, you really want me to –" Shawn's voice was small and uncertain.

"Yeah," Carlton cut Shawn off before he could say the words, knowing that he wouldn't be able to. "And, if you do, I'll –"

"Play cops and robbers with me," Shawn finished with a grin, his eyes sparkling with delight. "Okay, I'll take you up on your indecent proposal."

Shawn took a step back, hindered by Carlton's hands in his pockets. He held a hand out to Carlton. Sighing, Carlton eased his fingers from Shawn's jeans.

"It's a deal," Shawn said. "Let's shake on it."

"Really, Spencer?" Carlton rolled his eyes, but he held his hand out to Shawn, and they shook.

"I'll need you to wear those calf-high black socks that you've got, oh, and the boxers that Juliette got you two Christmases ago – you know, the ones with 'Property of Shawn Spencer' written across the front and back," Shawn rattled off his list, a huge grin on his face, and Carlton scowled at the younger man, wondering if this hadn't been his plan all along.

If, somehow, illogically of course, Shawn had actually set him up to ask his lover to buy frozen pineapple for the virgin pina coladas they'd be serving at the barbecue they were hosting that weekend. If Shawn had somehow manipulated him into getting what he'd wanted all along – a night of cops and robbers.

"Spencer," Carlton growled, and he reached for the younger man, just as Shawn skittered out of reach.

"Uh…can I have my office back, boys?" The Chief had popped her head into the room. She had her eyes firmly shut, and her head tilted toward the floor, her hand covering her eyes, just in case.

"Sorry, chief, I was –"

"I know, running the latest missing person's case past our resident psychic sleuth," the Chief cut him off, waving her hand in the air. "Out, now. I didn't hear, or see anything."

"See you at the barbecue," Shawn called over his shoulder as Carlton ushered him out of the office. "Save room for some wicked good virgin pina coladas. Though, to be honest I'm not sure how good they're going to be with frozen pineapple, but what Lassie wants, Lassie gets. He wears the pants in this relationship."

"Shut up, Spencer," Carlton ground out, as he pulled Shawn through the hallway, past gawking officers.

"You know you love me," Shawn said. He had a cheeky grin on his face, and Carlton couldn't help but smile back.

"Yeah, I love you," he said under his breath, brushing his lips over Shawn's in a chaste kiss, well aware that they still had an audience. "Go get the pineapple."

Shawn bounced on the balls of his feet, stood on his tip-toes and whispered in Carlton's ear. "Don't forget to bring your weapon tonight."

Blushing, Carlton turned away, and tossed out behind him. "Don't worry, Spencer. I'll bring my weapon. It'll be locked and loaded."

Thanks for reading, if you're inclined, reviews would be awesome - like non-frozen pineapple, and non-virgin coladas.