[A/n] Wow. I successfully got this monster out of my system. I'm dedicating this thing to Sarah, for making sure I finished. If you don't want to read a oneshot about three Billy's fucking one Spencer please turn around now. I'm warning you now, this is purely self-indulgent. If you're okay with that, then enjoy! nvn I have to go write an apology letter to the Dude That's My Ghost writers now.

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Spencer had always known that Billy was mischievous and stubborn, but he was still learning the extent of Billy's cruelty.

"Helloooo, Spencer my boy," cooed Billy on Monday, materializing behind Spencer in his room and wrapping his arms around his stomach, burying his nose in Spencer's hair. Spencer had only just gotten back from school, and while Billy's forward nature wasn't unusual, that didn't mean it didn't startle Spencer when he wasn't expecting it.

Spencer sighed in fond annoyance, basking in what would've been the ghost's heat, if Billy emitted warmth. "You need something, Billy?"

"What, is it suddenly against the law to cuddle your best bro? I can't believe the bullshit Congress is up to these days," said Billy, his hands slowly drifting southward from Spencer's stomach.

Spencer's mouth opened slightly, his eyes beginning to close. "The nerve of those toolsheds," agreed Spencer. After a day as stressful as his had been, Spencer was already onboard with whatever Billy was scheming, especially if it was going in the direction he assumed it was.

"Well, have fun studying! I heard about your math test tomorrow, I'd hit the books if I were you," sang Billy, removing himself completely from Spencer and disappearing through the floor. What? What?

"Billy? Billy wha-!" Spencer called through the floor, momentarily considering how dumb he must look shouting at his carpet.

Fine, weirdo, thought Billy with a hint of bitterness. It was extremely odd for Billy to deny himself fun times in bed when the chance presented itself. Spencer shrugged and dusted himself off. Billy was right about one thing, that test tomorrow was not a joke. Cautiously Spencer stopped trying to make sense of Billy's behavior and got to work, assuming that that particular incident would be the last of Billy's weirdness.

It wasn't.

On Tuesday, Spencer woke up to a face full of Billy right as his alarm went off at 7am.

"Rise and shine, Spenceroonie! You've got a whole big day ahead of you," crooned Billy, nose-to-nose with and straddling Billy.

"JESUS Christ dude, all right, now would you mind getting off of me?" said Spencer, feeling the heat immediately rush to his face. Spencer reached out his arm trying wildly to shut off his alarm.

"You sure, Spence?" Billy tilted his head with a Chesire smile, sliding forward slightly to get his face even closer to Spencer's. The way he pressed his pelvis against Spencer's was no accident, Spencer noted subconsiously.

"Y-yeah bro, yeah I'm sure!" sputtered Spencer, trying to push Billy off himself before the straddling went straight to his dick and he would have a "friend" to take care of before school.

"Sure thing Spence." smiled Billy deviously, giving Spencer a quick peck on the lips before finally leaning back and drifting away from Spencer. "See you downstairs, dude!" called Billy as he phased through the floor, most likely with breakfast on his mind.

Spencer ran a hand through his hair and shuddered. It's not that Billy wasn't typically playful, or naughty, or rebellious – what else would you expect from an ex-rockstar? – but it was definitely not like him to not finish what he started, ie giving Spencer the impression that Billy had pencilled in a quick fuck for precisely 7am this very morning and then disappearing. And frankly, Billy's teasing was starting to leave him frustrated as hell, admitted Spencer to himself as he stared accusingly at his own crotch. He had to get to the bottom of this.

And he tried, he tried when he got back from school that Tuesday, the following Wednesday, and Thursday too. Billy would whistle innocently whenever Spencer would attempt to bring up the subject until he dropped the subject in frustration, and Billy would pretend like nothing was out of the ordinary. Billy was an actor once, after all. But with each passing day that Billy continued to toy with Spencer and his teenage hormones, be it by squeezing Spencer's ass while he tried to do homework or by sticking his own ass out even more than usual, the angrier Spencer became. It wasn't a hateful anger, either, but the kind of anger that accumulates with each day a package you were expecting is late. Why was Billy playing with him so much? Wasn't it more fun when both of them were actively involved in their sexual shenanigans? You know, together?

Spencer had made his decision. He was going to get his answer out of Billy tonight if he had to chase him all the way to Alaska. A week was more than enough time for Billy to have his fun.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Buzzing quietly with the excitement that naturally develops when it's Friday, Spencer entered his house with a goal and a strong sense of purpose.

"Familyyy your favorite son is ho-"

"Put a sock in it dorkwad, mom and dad aren't even here!" Jessica sat in the kitchen on her phone. How she could make the mere act of sitting so hostile and condescending he had no idea, but he could respect that (even if he'd never, ever admit it). "They went to go buy more home renovation stuff, as if we didn't have enough."

"Oh. Well then, wanna be an extra in my newest movie? It's gonna be my best one yet, I can feel it in my feet." Spencer asked sweetly, wiggling his toes.

Jessica scoffed. "As delightful as that sounds, I am not gonna stay home on a Friday listening to you talk to yourself all night AGAIN. I'm out of here. See you later, nerd!" Jessica waved behind her, making sure to slam the door on her way out.

"Her loss."

Spencer jolted, remembering his own plans. Marching up the stairs, Spencer entered his room solemnly and walked to the center of the room.

"Billy!"

Nothing.

"Billy Joe Cobra, come out right now or... or you don't even wanna know what I'm gonna do it's gonna be so bad!"

Everything went dark as two cold hands covered Spencer's eyes.

"Guess who," a familiar voice whispered into Spencer's ear.

"Billy!" began Spencer accusingly, turning to the ghost.

"You got that right," grinned Billy, hearing a roar of applause from a loving crowd in his mind.

"Stop acting cute, Billy, I want answers." Spencer walked towards Billy threateningly and Billy floating backwards in response. "Exactly what game have you been playing this whole week?"

"Broski I don't have the slightest idea wh-"

"Can it dude I've had it up to here with your weird hot potato disappearing act, okay?"

"Hot pota-"

"Whatever, dude!" Billy was quickly approaching the wall as Spencer was still stepping towards him menacingly. "You know I love teasing, you know I love fooling around, you know I hate when you keep things from me!" Billy gasped quietly as his back hit the wall with a thud. "So what are you doing, dude?" Spencer stopped advancing but placed his hands on the wall on either side of Billy's head. "Do you really think messing with me is more fun than actually following through? Because if that's the case, allow me to enlighten you on a few things."

"H...haha..." Billy felt the blood rush to his face as he struggled to maintain eye contact with Spencer. "Whoda thunk it'd get you so worked up, huh?" Billy attempted to gain some sort of leverage over the boy, if at least verbally.

"At long last," proclaimed Spencer. "The ghost admits he was up to something. I thought I'd never get to hear it."

Billy chuckled. "Well, yeah dude." He shifted against the wall anxiously. "Subtlety was never a Cobra forte."

"Billy, listen," Spencer leaned in towards Billy to make his point as clear as possible. "I'm as big a fan of games and pranks as the next guy, but I don't like not knowing what you're up to, okay?" Spencer frowned a little. "I don't see any reason why you shouldn't be open with me. You get where I'm coming from, right?" Spencer was amazed he'd gotten Billy to stay still for as long as he had.

Billy nodded eagerly.

Spencer sighed in relief. "Good. I hope you know on top of irritating the crap out of me, I did not appreciate being left to deal with my own hard-on like four times when I've got a perfectly capable ghost boyfriend to help me out. That's your job."

Billy knew an opportunity when he saw one. Grabbing Billy by the shoulders, he rolled the both of them, trapping Spencer against the wall.

"Oh really?" Billy dropped the act, leaning in to gently bite Spencer's ear. "Am I on the clock right now, Boss?"

"M-Maybe," said Spencer like the genius he was. Billy slipped his leg between Spencer's and starting rubbing Spencer's crotch fondly, like rubbing the back of an old friend during a reunion hug. "Hah... Billy, you... wait," Spencer grabbed Billy by the collar and pulled him forward.

"If this is another one of your tricks, Billy, I'm buying you a new wax statue of yourself and burning it in front of you."

Wincing but determined, Billy pressed their foreheads together. "Oh Spencer," exhaled Billy. "I'm not going anywhere."

Spencer's smile grew as he finally pulled Billy into an eager kiss, skipping the delicacy and promptly slipping his tongue into Billy's mouth, non-verbally demanding that Billy make up for a week's worth of false promises. Billy was delighted with Spencer's enthusiasm, cupping Spencer's face with his hands. Spencer lifted his hands from Billy's collar and buried them in Billy's hair, tilting his head a bit to gain any more access he could into Billy's mouth. Spencer moaned gratefully into Billy's mouth as Billy dropped his right hand from Spencer's face to palm Spencer skillfully through his pants.

Maybe on Monday Spencer wouldn't have been this shameless. Maybe on Tuesday he wouldn't have been this shameless. But today, they were making up for lost time, and Spencer was intent on making his needs known.

Spencer slid down from the wall a little, his legs growing weak as Billy continued to devote his attention to Spencer's erection. Billy let both of his hands come to Spencer's waist and happily unzipped Spencer's pants, pushing them down to Spencer's knees and slipping a hand in Spencer's boxers to properly greet the boy's hard-on.

"Ha-!" Spencer's knees wobbled and he slid a couple more inches from the wall, thrusting weakly into Billy's hand. "Billy, Christ..."

"You're so eager today, Spencil," said Billy, increasing the speed he was pumping Spencer's dick. "What's the rush?"

"D-Damn it, Billy, you know why I'm so pent up!"

Billy giggled. "Yeah, I do." He stopped encouraging Spencer's dick and raised his other hand to Spencer's chin, lifting the boy's head so they made eye contact again. "Allow me to apologize for my actions the only way Billy Joe Cobra knows how." Billy grinned and pressed his mouth to Spencer's again. Spencer felt two new hands on both sides of his hips and his eyes fluttered open. He looked in front of him. Billy. Spencer looked to his left. Billy. He looked to his right. Billy.

Spencer looked at the original Billy again. Billy's grin was still there, and the two new Billy's proudly wore matching ones.

"Okay," said Spencer.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

Spencer swore he could see the fireworks going off in Billy's head through his eyes, but was distracted as he was carried to his killer racecar bed. He gripped the ghost's jacket tightly. He forgot how much he loved being carried by Billy, as well as all the other surprising advantages of dating a ghost.

One Billy swooped ahead and settled himself onto the bed first, making grabby hands as the first Billy transferred Spencer from his arms to the bed. "Come 'ere, Spence."

Spencer watched the three ghosts work with silent interest. Spencer's back was to the Billy on the bed's chest, enveloping Spencer in an affectionate ghost hug. The first Billy was more interested in finally freeing Spencer from those pesky pants, grabbing them and throwing them far from the bed, the last Billy excitedly waiting his turn and observing by the side of the bed. Spencer hissed in anticipation as the Billy behind him slipped both hands under his shirt, playing with the boy's nipples with cold hands.

"This shirt needs to go like yesterday," Billy announced, using his hands that were already under Spencer's shirt anyway and lifting it over the boy's head and tossing it.

"As do these stupid boxers," agreed the Billy in front, lifting Spencer's butt to remove them and throwing it with the rest of his clothes. All three Billy's phased out of their clothes to match Spencer. "Why do you even wear underwear, Broseidon, you really gotta feel the freedom that comes with going commando, like me."

"Just shut up and do something already, it's freaking cold!" Spencer shuddered.

All three Billy's shrugged. "All right."

The Billy in front of Spencer dropped down and reverently licked a line from Spencer's balls to his shaft. "You don't learn nothing from being a rockstar your whole life," Billy smirked and took Spencer into his mouth.

"Nng! Billy holy shit-" Spencer gasped as the heat of Billy's mouth enveloped him and Billy's tongue was everywhere at once.

"Believe me, he's not the only one that knows a thing or two," scoffed the Billy behind Spencer.

"You're the same pers- ah!" Spencer jolted as he felt a finger being slowly inserted into his asshole. Billy's finger felt around and waited for Spencer to relax around it while another Billy was still running his tongue along the underside of Spencer's dick like his reputation depended on it.

"Billy holy shit so much is g-going on I don't know if -"

And like that everything stopped. The first Billy looked up at Spencer. "You all right, bro?"

"Yeah, yeah, I just..."

"Because I'm doing this all for you," Billy searched Spencer's eyes for signs he was doing something wrong. "And we can stop if you don't want to keep going."

Spencer stared at Billy. "Are you kidding? I just needed a moment. Get those fingers back in my ass right now or I swear-"

Billy grinned wide and immediately went back to aggressively sucking Spencer's dick, two fingers inviting themselves into Spencer's entrance and slowly stretching it to make room for a third.

"And I get your mouth," sang the Billy that had been waiting on the side of the bed for far too long, turning Spencer's panting face to his. "You're so cute when I'm driving you crazy." Spencer's eyes grew wide when the ghost kissed him deep and quickly became slits as Billy's tongue explored Spencer and massaged the roof of his mouth, swallowing all of his moans and every pant.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, Spencer prayed that Billy would remember that he needed to breathe at some point.

To say Spencer couldn't think straight would be a massive understatement. Billy was everything, Billy was in his mouth, on his dick, in his ass, Billy was his every thought, and when he opened his eyes Billy was all he saw. Billy had always been a crucial part of him, but at times like this it was nearly impossible to tell where Billy ended and Spencer began.

"Bill- hn, Billy," urged Spencer when Billy finally let their mouths part for Spencer's sake. "Billy, if you don't, don't stop sucking so hard I'm gonna come too soon!"

"Yeah," mused Billy from between Spencer's legs. "You're right." Spencer felt the fingers leave him as the first Billy dragged Spencer forward a bit for better access. "You ready?"

"I've been ready you jerk, I couldn't talk because you wouldn't stop kissing me!"

"Sorry, Spencil," laughed Billy, clearly not sorry. "What can I say? I'm crazy for you."

Even after everything else, Spencer still felt his face grow warm from Billy's attention. "Y-yeah, okay, I like you too, now can you please...?"

Billy smiled and leaned in to give him a quick peck. "Of course."

Billy lined up his dick with Spencer's entrance and Spencer breathed deeply in anticipation. Billy leaned forward and pressed himself in slowly, while the two other Billy's agreed silently that a vocal Spencer was the best Spencer, and each devoted themselves to one of Spencer's nipples to leave his mouth free.

Spencer let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding, his eyes opening slowly as he relaxed and relished the feeling of being full of Billy now that Billy was all the way in. Billy's arms were on either side of Spencer, holding himself up. His eyes were closed and he was breathing hard, but what bothered Spencer were the tense lines between Billy's eyebrows. The look didn't suit him.

Weakly, Spencer raised an arm and brought his thumb between Billy's eyes and rubbed, smoothing away Billy's wrinkles. The ghost's eyes opened in surprise.

"Relax, dude," said Spencer softly. "It's just me."

Billy's mouth opened, and he closed it again. "I know." Billy shook his head. "Sorry."

Spencer coughed. "You can move now, by the way."

"Huh? Oh. OH. Yeah."

Billy's first thrust was experimental, the way Spencer's breath caught only encouraging him. Slowly Spencer wrapped his legs around Billy's waist and his arms around Billy's neck. The other two Billy's dedicated themselves to sucking hickeys onto Spencer's neck, his collarbone, his chest, and one of them snuck a hand between Spencer and the first Billy to languidly pump Spencer's dick again.

"Billy, Billy man, please, you gotta go faster," pleaded Spencer, his mind swimming from all the stimulation, as the ghost's thrusts achieved a consistent rhythm. Spencer's eyes nearly rolled back into his head while Billy regained his rockstar confidence and thrust into Spencer faster. Spencer held on to Billy tighter and tried desperately to use his legs to press Billy deeper into himself.

"S-Spencil, you feel so g-good right now it's absurd," panted Billy, leaning in closer and trying not to lose himself in Spencer, striving to increase his speed any way he could. "Spencer I'm so close, Spencer, Spencer oh my god-"

Spencer moved his hands from Billy's back to his hair and pulled him in for one more searing kiss as Billy's thrusts lost their rhythm. Another Billy continued to pump Spencer's dick as the first Billy drove himself into Spencer and the heat and the sensation and the pleasure became too much as he came hard into Spencer, and when the other Billy began running his thumb over the slit of Spencer's dick, Spencer too was sent over the edge.

The ghost collapsed on top of Spencer, basking in the relief that came with his orgasm. Spencer mustered the strength to open his eyes, still breathing hard, and watched the other two Billy's fuse back into the main Billy. Spencer coughed and rolled the ghost so he'd be next to him and not on top of him.

Spencer turned to Billy, his eyes roaming everywhere. "You okay, dude?

Billy's breathing slowly returned to normal. "Yeah, yeah, of course," He turned to Spencer and similarly eyed the boy up and down. Wordlessly he made grabby hand motions just like earlier, and Spencer was suddenly glad that he wasn't dealing with the Billy Joe Cobra that was still a rockstar and probably considered himself above cuddling after sex.

"You're adorable," said Billy, kissing Spencer on the forehead. "You're so so so so cute."

"Quit it," said Spencer, with absolutely no bite to back up his words.

"Sorry, brotato chip, I forgot," Billy smiled. "I'm only allowed to have my dick in your butt, but I'm not allowed to tell you that you're super cute. I will not make a habit of overstepping my boundaries, I am truly sorry bro."

"You and your sass," Spencer honked Billy on the nose and Billy stuck out his tongue in vicious retaliation. "We're so gross right now." Spencer made a face at the cum still in his ass and the mess they'd made of his unfortunate racecar bed.

"We'll shower later, whatever," Billy sighed noncommittally.

"Hey Billy," Spencer asked. "Why were you messing with me all week anyway? You seem happy right now, unless I'm mistaken."

"Honestly?" Billy pursed his lips. "I just wanted to see what you'd be like in bed after a week's worth of sexual frustration."

Spencer opened his mouth but closed it again after some thought. "Remind me to yell at you for that later. I'm too happy right now to bother."

Billy hummed appreciatively. Spencer rested against his boyfriend's chest, and Billy's eyes began to wander around Spencer's room, landing on his desk, where Spencer's video camera was.

Billy had an idea. "Hey Spencer-"

"No."