Hello

So I've just finished one story and I've decided to start another because I'm bored and university work is not appealing. Pre-warning this story will have a lot more angsty moments in it compared to the last one but hopefully you enjoy it.

This is set after Mr Grove calls Josie old, the bastard, and she is beginning to ignore Florian.

"You are being taken for a fool Miss Mardle. An old fool."

His words still hurt, even now when she was far away from the shop and in her own home. She was at home, the building where she had been so happy earlier with Florian, and yet now she couldn't even smile because she kept thinking about what he had said, what he had called her, what he had inferred about her relationship. She did care about Florian, more than she cared to actually admit to even herself, but what if Roger, Mr Grove had been correct? What if he had an ulterior motive for being with her? Why would someone as young and talented as Florian wish to be with her? She was old, she knew it and Mr Grove had reinforced that. She was an older woman now, she had no future. She knew very well, more than anyone, that there was no future in her relationship with Florian. Covering her mouth with her hand as she began to sob, Josie attempted to control her emotions, even though she knew she was failing.

"Josie," Florian's voice called out, probably from the stairs as she began to panic. She couldn't see him now. If she saw him now she would give in, she would let herself love him and be selfish, instead of protecting him. She had to keep him away, she had to have control over her own emotions before she was able to see him again and act like nothing had ever changed between them. Moving quickly towards the door as she heard Florian approaching the room, Josie quickly locked the door, her eyes shutting when she heard Florian try to open the door before he knocked gently. "Josie?" he questioned as she rested her head against the wood of the door, knowing that he was just on the other side. She could just open the door, let him in again and allow herself to relax into his arms. She could let him love her, let him make her feel so wonderful like he had been doing for the last week. She had been perfectly content, curled up in his arms every night, listening to his breathing but that was before she had seen sense, seen the stupidly in her recent behaviour. "Josie what is wrong?" Florian asked from the other side of the door while she remained perfectly still, biting into her lip to stop herself from sobbing loudly. The tears were running down her cheeks silently instead and she was beginning to taste blood from where she was biting into her lip too hard. She couldn't reply, they would end up talking and she would ultimately allow him back into her room. If she could keep him away, only for a little while, then things could return to normality again, they could act like they had never been lovers and he could find someone younger, someone who had a future with him. "I know that you are in there Josie," Florian sighed as she shut her eyes, listening to his voice. Everything about him was perfect, she couldn't allow herself to taint him, to ruin him when everything about him was so wonderful. "I will leave you alone Josie but I am here, if you wish to talk," he said quietly, silence falling for a few moments as she rested her hand against the door, unaware that he was doing the same on the other side. "I love you," he finally said before she heard his footsteps moving towards the stairs and the familiar creak of the top step as he began to walk down the stairs and away from her.

"I love you too," Josie finally whispered before she stepped back, staring at the door for a moment. It would be so easy to just open it, to run after him, to wrap her arms around him and never let him go but she wouldn't. She wouldn't allow him to believe in these feelings for any longer. If she ignored her own feelings, and remained away from him, then soon he would forget about her and fall in love with someone else. Someone young and beautiful who could give him everything that he ever wanted. Sitting down on her bed in silence, Josie glanced across at the space that Florian had started to occupy before shaking her head and removing her shoes. Lying down on his side of her bed, Josie shut her eyes as she rested her head against the pillow, his scent lingering in the material as she sobbed herself to sleep.

"Mr Grove, would it be possible to talk to you?" Josie asked quietly, glancing up at her lover as he turned to face her. Four years they had been in a relationship and he had made it clear to her that he shouldn't been seen alone together in the shop, in case they did something that made everyone aware of what was going on between them. "It is important, I wouldn't if it wasn't," she whispered as he sighed, finally nodding as a small smile covered her face.

"Come to my office during your lunch Miss Mardle," he stated as she nodded, thanking him quietly before she disappeared towards her department, aware that Roger was watching her the whole time. She knew that he really did care about her and that they couldn't be public about their relationship, one because of his wife and two because the shop frowned upon staff having relationships with each other, but she sometimes wished that he would be more open with her. She loved him, and he had told her that he loved her, and they had been in a relationship for four long years. It had been difficult at times, especially since he could only visit her once a week and sometimes he could not even make that, but she still loved him and their relationship. Standing behind the counter as the head of department glared across at her for disappearing during her shift, Josie sighed as she glanced across the shop, not surprised to find it practically empty. It was a cold and wet day, people hardly ever came to the shops when the weather was as vile as it was. Tapping her fingers against her hand as she glanced across at the clock, Josie bit into her lip as she watched the minutes pass without a customer approaching.

"Miss Mardle, why don't you go and have lunch?" her head of department suggested as Josie smiled across at the older man before nodding, quickly moving away from the counter and towards the stairs. Walking up them slowly, Josie felt her nerves increase as she began to reach Roger's office. She didn't know how to tell him, she didn't know how he was going to act either and that terrified her. She wasn't sure how to behave or feel about their situation but she knew he was going to find it even harder to deal with. Reaching the door to his office, Josie breathed out before she tapped on the door frame, part of her hoping that he wouldn't be in his office so that she could prolong telling him.

"Come in," Roger's voice beckoned, calling her in as she opened the door and quickly stepped inside, forcing a smile onto her face as she shut the door and looked across at him. He could see that her hands were shaking as she stood in complete silence while watching him. Standing, Roger slowly moved towards her as a small smile covered his face. She really was beautiful and he felt so lucky to have her in his life, even though he regretted treating her like he did. He wished he could give her the commitment she deserved and be there like she wanted but with his wife's illness getting worse he knew that it would be unfair to the woman he had loved to just leave her for someone else, even if he did adore Josie. "Josie, what was so important it couldn't wait till Tuesday?" he asked quietly as she stared up at him. Could she wait till Tuesday? It was only five days away. If she waited it would give her more time to think about how to tell him, to adjust to the idea. "You are shaking," he whispered as he slowly took hold of her hands in his, feeling them shaking while she bit into her lip. "Josie darling, what's the matter?" he asked quietly, taking one hand away from hers to cup her cheek.

"Roger," she whispered as he watched her, noticing the tears in her eyes. "Roger I…" she began before shaking her head and stepping away, turning to face away from him while he watched. He had never seen her like this. She had always been strong and confident, prepared to tell him whatever was on her mind. He had never seen her so nervous about something.

"Josie, if you wish to end…" he began, stopping when she turned to look at him in shock.

"No, never, I love you," she blurted out before he smiled at her. "Why? Do you want to end this Roger?" she asked quietly as he shook his head, moving towards her again before he wrapped his arms around her, keeping her close to him as she rested her forehead against his chest.

"Josie what is the matter?" he asked quietly, glancing down at her while she began to shake her head. She couldn't tell him. She didn't know how to tell him. She knew that he wouldn't be happy, he would panic and become concerned and he wouldn't be impressed. "You know you can tell me anything love," he whispered, leaning down to kiss her gently before they both glanced towards the door, knowing that he shouldn't have done that. "One day we will get caught," he smiled against her lips as she remained silent, all colour disappearing from her face. "Josie darling, I was joking. No one will catch us, we'll be fine," he promised, moving to kiss her again but stopping when she leant away from him. "Josie," he sighed, it becoming clearer that there was something seriously wrong.

"I'm pregnant," she said quietly, feeling him immediately step away after she'd said it.

"What?" he asked, shock covering his face as she rested her hands against her abdomen. "You're what?" he asked again, trying hard to remain quiet as she remained perfectly still, not surprised by his shocked expression.

"Roger," Josie whispered, falling quiet again when he shook his head and sat down, running his fingers through his hair as she continued to watch him. "Roger please say something."

"I…" he began before shaking his head again. She was pregnant? "You need to go back to work," he declared as she felt the shock cover her face.

"What? Roger we need to talk about our," she responded, falling silent when he glared across at her.

"Go to work Josie," he stated as she nodded slowly, moving towards the door while he continued to watch her. She didn't look pregnant, she didn't look any different, she still looked like his Josie. "Miss Mardle," he called out, hating himself when he saw the upset in her face when she turned to look at him. Not only had he reacted poorly to her admission, he had now addressed her as a colleague rather than his lover. "Tuesday, we will discuss it further on Tuesday."

"Tuesday?" she immediately responded, clearly frustrated. "You wish to discuss this in five days time, it's important Roger, it's our ba…" she began.

"Josie, not here," he snapped as she bit into her lip, trying to silence herself. "Go back to work Josie, we will discuss our problem on Tuesday," he declared, not surprised when she opened the door and left his office without even talking to him again.

Sitting up in shock, Josie tried to control her erratic breathing as her hand moved to her abdomen. She hadn't thought about that day in years, she had tried desperately to forget. Falling back against the pillows in shock, Josie kept her hand on her abdomen as tears began to run down her cheeks. This wasn't fair. It was bad enough that she had forced Florian away but now she was being haunted in her dreams with memories she had desperately tried to forget. Staring up at the ceiling, Josie slowly brought one hand to her face to wipe away her tears before she bit into her lip. This was exactly why she couldn't get involved with Florian, she had too much of a past to burden him with.

So what do you think? Would you like me to carry on or is it not something you'd be interested in? Please review and let me know.