Training Camp of Doom

Kagami spit a mouthful of toothpaste into the sink, then straightened up and nearly choked in surprise. It was a good thing he'd just spit out all the toothpaste or he definitely would have made a mess of it when he saw that Kuroko had materialized out of nowhere as she was wont to do.

His heart skipped a couple beats as his mind tried to catch up.

She . . . looked adorable. Standing there in really, really short pajama shorts, and a white camisole that was laced up in front with a light blue ribbon, tied in a neat little bow. Her hair was hopelessly messy from sleep, but that somehow made her look even cuter. She looked at Kagami blankly as he tried to stop gawking.

"You're doing that on purpose!" he shouted to cover his rude staring.

"Good morning."

"And look at your hair!"

As Kuroko blankly touched her hair and tried to pat it down a bit, a familiar voice began complaining in the hallway connected to the sinks.

"This place is such a dump. Do we really have to stay here? I feel like I'm going to see a ghost . . ."

"Oh," said Kuroko softly, recognition on her face.

Kagami was pretty sure he recognized that voice too, except this shouldn't have been possible. This was way too big of a coincidence.

But then Midorima and Takao came into view, in their unmistakably ugly orange Shuutoku getup.

"Shut up, Takao," Midorima verbally abused his shadow, as usual. They had nearly walked right past Kuroko and Kagami without seeing them. But then Takao's sharp eyes picked them up and she started and looked back over her shoulder.

"What?" she asked in surprise, her eyes going wide.

Kagami made an annoyed noise, and Midorima gave a surprised growl at the sight of them.

Only Kuroko seemed unaffected by this surprise meeting.

"Hello. It's good to see you again," she said politely, as though she wasn't standing there barefoot and in her pajamas.

Midorima went off. He pointed one bandaged finger at the two of them and began shouting.

"What are you doing here?!"

"I could ask you the same thing!" Kagami growled right back.

"Shuutoku has a long history of coming here for training camps," Takao informed them with a pretty, but devious smile, like she was thoroughly enjoying this.

"And here you are enjoying your vacation! What's with that tan?" accused Midorima still pointing at Kagami.

"We're not here on vacation, idiot!"

"Indeed. Seirin's basketball club is having their summer training camp here. As is Rakuzan," said another voice that was familiar to Kuroko, but that definitely did not belong in this situation.

Everyone turned in surprise to face the newcomers. Midorima and Takao gaped. Kagami took on a suspicious look at the five basketball players in Rakuzan training outfits, who'd somehow come up behind them unnoticed. Only Kuroko looked unaffected, despite being dressed in her pajamas in front of so many strangers.

Akashi's two-colored eyes zeroed in on Kuroko, like he was sizing her up.

"So, it is true," he said finally.

"What's true?" asked a hulking, darkly tanned and overly muscled boy who most of those assembled recognized as Nebuya Eikichi.

"It's true that none of the Generation of Miracles knew Kuroko-chan was a girl," Takao informed him, earning herself a livid glare from Akashi. She immediately jumped behind Midorima to hide.

"Who's Kuroko?" asked Hayama.

"I'm Kuroko," Kuroko introduced herself.

"Wah! Wha? When did you get there?"

"Since the beginning," said Kuroko.

"And Akashi didn't know you were a girl? With that figure? There's no way that's true! Right, Akashi? Right?" asked Hayama.

Silence.

"Sei-chan? That's not true, is it?" asked Mibuchi.

"It is! Can you believe it?" asked Takao, peeking out from behind Midorima.

"No! I can't believe Akashi would make the same mistake twice! At least tell me he didn't make her strip in front of the whole team like he did with Mayuzumi-senpai!" said Hayama.

"What?!" Midorima barked, looking scandalized.

"Shut up, Kotarou!" snapped Akashi.

"Wait, so it was one of your new teammates who you realized was a girl only after seeing her strip down to her bra and underwear? That's what you were talking about that day on the phone?" demanded Midorima.

"Hey!" came a shout from behind them.

Everyone turned to see who'd called out. Then everyone's eyes grew wide with alarm as Riko appeared, splattered with red, and holding a huge kitchen knife, looking like she'd stepped right out of a horror movie.

"What's all this ruckus? Kagami-kun, Kuroko-chan, we're waiting for you in the cafeteria," said Riko, fixing them with a glare while everyone stared in shock and terror.

Then she tripped and the knife went flying out of her hand and right at Akashi's head.

Akashi instinctively dodged, getting out of the knife's trajectory as fast as he could. He had, however, forgotten how hard Kuroko was to see if you weren't deliberately trying to see her, and ended up colliding with her in his haste. They both went off balance and went down hard. Well, Kuroko went down hard. Akashi landed on top of her, unintentionally using her to cushion his fall. His face landed against something particularly soft.

"Akashi-kun," Kuroko said, her deadpan voice holding a frosty note, then Akashi's cheeks went as red as his hair as he realized just how they'd landed. His face was pillowed against Kuroko's breasts.

He rocketed off her as fast as he could, failing to notice that the zipper of his jacket had gotten caught on the ribbon of Kuroko's camisole. A ripping noise filled the air as he scrambled backwards and landed on his rear. Kuroko gave a slight squeal and grasped at her shirt, holding it together to keep from revealing too much.

"Sei-chan! What have you done?!" wailed Mibuchi.

"I didn't mean – that was unintentional! And it wasn't my fault!" said Akashi.

"Tee-hee. I slipped," said Riko, trying to cover for the knife incident.

"Don't 'tee-hee' me! Don't walk around with a knife! And you! Keep your hands off Kuroko! And your face off her too!" shouted Kagami, pointing at Akashi and looking halfway ready to beat the crap out of him. Probably the only thing stopping him was the realization that it was indeed an accident, and not a deliberate attempt at molestation like Aomine's had been.

"You're a pervert. All you Teikou boys are perverts, even if you can't tell the difference between a guy and a girl. Kuroko-chan, you're lucky you've got such a scary coach to protect you now. Look, she even took something out!" said Takao, looking overjoyed at the way things were turning out. She pointed at the knife, where it was sunk into the wall, pinning a dead cockroach in place.

"She must be a skilled assassin," Midorima said apprehensively, backing slowly away from the crazy people.

"Hey Akashi. Is your absoluteness okay?" asked Mayuzumi, speaking for the first time.

Reactions of those who knew Akashi were quite comical. Midorima snapped his head toward the silver haired girl in horror. Then he grabbed Takao and pulled her back, away from the older girl and Akashi as though fearful of an explosion. Rakuzan's three Crownless Kings all froze like deer in the headlights, their expressions giving away their terror. Even Kuroko's jaw dropped open like she couldn't believe anyone would really ask Akashi that.

"So, who are all these people? I recognize Shuutoku, but . . ." Riko looked bewildered at their reactions.

Akashi, with as much dignity as he could muster, blatantly ignored Mayuzumi's remark and reached down a hand to Kuroko. She took it automatically, and allowed Akashi to help her to her feet and steady her, like a perfect gentleman – if he could really be seen as a perfect gentleman after that mishap. Especially when Kuroko still had to use one hand to hold her shirt together to keep from flashing everyone.

"I apologize for my rudeness, Tetsuya. I assure you, it was unintentional," said Akashi, and he gave her a bow in apology.

"Please forget about it. Immediately," said Kuroko, retreating a few steps to stand at Kagami's elbow – an action which was taken note of by Akashi if the slight narrowing of his eyes was any indication.

His eyes narrowed further when Kagami clamped a hand down on Kuroko's head and steered her behind him.

"Come on. You need to change. Then, breakfast," he said, returning Akashi's cold stare in equal measure.

"Is that another one of your former teammates, Kuroko-chan?" asked Riko as they began walking toward the room she and Kuroko were sharing.

"Yes. Akashi-kun was the captain of the Generation of Miracles," answered Kuroko.

"And Kagami didn't challenge him on the spot?" teased Riko lightly.

I wouldn't be so sure about that, thought Akashi as he watched them go. There had been a definite challenge in Kagami's expression. One that had nothing to do with basketball.

"Hey, hey, Akashi-kun," said Takao, trying to get his attention, even though Midorima was doing his utmost to drag her away.

"Yes, Takao-san?"

"Takao, shut up," said Midorima still trying to pull her back.

"I just want you to know, that I don't ship her with you either!" Takao shrilly declared, right before Midorima clamped a hand over her mouth and began physically dragging her away as she dug her heels into the ground.

"We'll be taking our leave now, Akashi. Excuse us," said Midorima, then he quickly manhandled his squirming shadow away from the Rakuzan team.

"Oh, wow. Now I know why you insisted on having a joint camp with Seirin and Shuutoku! This is going to be so much fun!" said Hayama, bouncing in excitement.

"Right. Fun," said Akashi. (No one needed to know if he was having doubts about what he'd gotten himself into.)

(But then, Akashi never was one to back down from a challenge.)

(Omake)

"Hey, Nebuya! Reo-nee! Did you see? Did you?" demanded Hayama.

"Did we see what? That Kuroko chick's boobs? Unfortunately, no," sighed Nebuya.

"Don't be so crude," snapped Mibuchi.

"That's not what I'm talking about," said Hayama quickly, bouncing up and down, barely able to contain the secret.

"What are you talking about then?" asked Mibuchi, trying to be patient with the hyperactive teen.

"That ribbon that got caught on Akashi's zipper. He kept it!" hissed Hayama.

"He . . . kept it?" asked Mibuchi.

"Yes! He rolled it up all neatly and tried to be real discreet when he tucked it away in his suitcase, but I saw him!"

"That's not a normal thing to do, is it? So what does that mean?" Nebuya wondered.

"Either Akashi's a serial killer and he took it as a trophy, or he's into her! Or both!"

(Hayama's never going to make it as a detective.)

(Please review.)