This little tale was my entry for the First Time Fumbles contest. I am SUPER DUPER EXCITED (!) that it won 3rd place in both the judges' and public vote! Also, the banner for best new writer award is all kinds of awesome, and quite fits the contest theme. LOL. I will put up a link for banners on my profile.

Anyways, this story is a mishmash of funny, awkward, nervous, sweet, and sexy. At least, that was the goal. :)

Please enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. I just made sexually frustrated Bella seduce sexually repressed Edward... no, wait, that's not really new, is it? I guess I just own the rest of the plot. And to protect my own dignity I will never, EVER reveal exactly how much of the plot I actually own in reality...

After the O it's the... Anticlimax?

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Thursday
10:28 pm

My phone rings for the fifth time in a row. I look over at the girls and they finally give me the go-ahead.

"Hello."

"I miss you so much, baby," his soft voice mumbles into my ear. "Come here?"

"Nuh-uh," I giggle. I take a huge gulp of my margarita, wincing at the brief flash of brain freeze that hits. And then again when his voice comes back, much louder this time.

"But it's not fair! You're out wherever—nobody will tell me anything—and you're having fun and… stuff, and I'm stuck in a room with these stupid idi—ow!" His adorable rambling cuts off with a yell and I hear a booming laugh in the background.

I giggle again. Everything is just sooo funny! Shit, how many drinks have I had tonight?

"Sorry, honey. You know I can't do that."

"Fine." Aw, he's definitely pouting now.

"Stop pouting, Eddie! And get off the damn phone!" There's the sound of a brief scuffle, and the voice I hear next is apologetic. "Sorry, we told him to leave you alone so you girls could have a good time. I'm not sure how he keeps stealing his phone back."

"Hi, Jazz." I wink at Ali and she lights up with a smile when she hears his name.

"Hey, Bella. I'm going to let him say goodbye, and then that's it for tonight, okay?"

"Okay, thanks." I wait for the phone to be passed over. A door slams shut and the ambient sounds are suddenly muted. "Edward?"

"Hi, love."

"Hi."

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

"I'm not allowed to call or text you any more." He's pouting again.

"Sorry, baby. But you should go have fun with the guys. I'll see you tomorrow morning."

"I know." He pauses. "What are you ladies doing tonight, anyway? It's pretty loud over there."

"We're just out having dinner and drinks, and…" I look over at Rose and Alice as I point across the bar in question, catching their matching smirks and nods. "And learning some pole dancing," I slip in casually.

"Wh-what?!" he sputters.

"Well, the bar we picked just happened to be giving free lessons, so we figured, why not?" I lower my voice to a hopefully sultry whisper. "Maybe I'll show you what I've learned sometime this week."

"Oh, yes, please," he moans softly.

I giggle again.

"Time's up, lover-boy!" I hear another yell and a dull pounding.

"I think I should go before Emmett breaks down the door. Sleep well, love. I'll see you at the hotel tomorrow."

"Okay. Goodnight, Edward."

"Bye."

I can't help pouting a little, myself. I'm going to miss him tonight.

My phone is suddenly stolen from my hand, and is replaced with a shot glass. "Bottoms up!" my two best friends cheer. We clink our glasses and down the bitter liquid.

"So, how are the boys doing?" Rosalie asks, as she signals the waitress for another round.

"Em is keeping Edward away from the phone, and Jasper's trying to stop them from killing each other," I explain. "So… pretty much business as usual."

At least I'm not giggling alone this time.

Alice slaps her hand down on the table. Except, she barely misses the edge and her arm comes down hard on her own leg. "Ow, shit!" We all laugh again. "Enough about boys! This is girls' night out!"

"Yeah!" Rose and I chime in.

"And so… a toast!" Ali stands and attempts to climb up onto the couch the three of us are sitting on. Her remarkably high alcohol-to-body-size ratio for the evening, combined with the ease with which her spiky heels sink into the soft fabric, cause her to teeter dangerously above us. We each grab on to one of her hands to hold her steady; in the end, she winds up sitting on top of the couch back. We all studiously ignore the glare from the bartender across the room.

Alice raises her glass. "To Bella!" She clears her throat dramatically, and I make the mistake of being fooled by her suddenly serious expression. "May you have many happy years together, with the man of your dreams… having lots and lots of hot, steamy sex!"

"Alice!" I groan, hiding my blushing cheeks with my hands.

"What?" she asks with an innocent tone. "You don't want that?"

"No!" I shout, but then start backtracking quickly after realizing what I just said. "Well, yes, but…" I stammer.

I mean, yeah, I do want that. Doesn't everyone?

Lacking a witty comeback, I settle for poking her in the side, which effectively makes her topple over into Rose's lap. Rose fluidly flips her back upright on the couch, where she proceeds to grab my hands in hers.

"Seriously, Bella—" (she's clearly not serious right now) "—I know you and Edward are already like an old married couple, but you should at least try to spice things up for the next week, alright?"

"Um… yeah, sure, Ali."

I have to avert my eyes. I guess she's being sincere, but if this conversation continues, there's no doubt I'll be forced to reveal the one thing I've held back all this time. The one dirty little secret that even my best friends have no clue about. It's not like I've straight out lied about it, but given my personality, it's not that unbelievable that I just wouldn't ever bring it up. Rose and Alice are the adventurous types who enjoy over-sharing their late-night exploits, but I'm definitely not one to kiss and tell.

Nor am I one to fuck and tell.

Because despite the fact that Edward and I have been together for over three years, and we're finally getting married this Saturday…

I'm still a virgin.

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Friday
9:13 pm

It's really weird sleeping in my childhood bedroom alone.

I haven't been here alone in years, not since I met Edward. Even though I know my family exasperates him quite a bit, he still comes with me to visit, and we always stay in this room together. Oddly enough, my parents have never said anything about it. You'd think they'd have at least a little concern for their only daughter sharing a room with a man, but as far as I can tell there was never any evidence of my dad pulling Edward aside for a man-to-man, "hurt my daughter and I'll blah-blah-blah" kind of talk. Even the first time he came to visit over the summer, after we'd only been dating for a couple of months, Dad just dropped his suitcase in my room without batting an eyelash.

My mom may have made some offhand comment about "being safe," but… at that point it my life, it honestly wasn't even a blip on the radar.

And now look at me.

My hormones are so worked up for tomorrow, I can't stop squirming under the sheets. I'm not really nervous, just… anxious, I guess. Impatient? I desperately need tomorrow night to come faster—and with it the end of our unspoken agreement to wait until marriage. Oh, did I not mention that? Yeah, this will also be the first time for my gorgeous hubby-to-be.

I don't know how I'm going to make it.

Would it be improper to get myself off the night before the wedding?

Ah, fuck it—if Edward's felt even half the suppressed lust I've been building up, there's no way he's keeping his hands to himself tonight.

Actually… isn't masturbation, by definition, the act of keeping your hands to yourself?

Heh.

I think I'll go explore that theory right now…

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Saturday
2:59 pm

"Fuck, fuck, fuck. Fuckity-fuck. FUCK!" I whisper-yell to myself.

The day had been going perfectly so far. I woke up late and had a quiet breakfast with Mom and Dad. We had an easy drive out to the hotel where everyone will be getting ready. I squealed rather loudly when I saw my two best friends waiting in the lobby—they ran to me and we all jumped up and down while hugging, as I cried, "I'm getting married today, bitches!"

Since then, all the ladies have been holed up in my parents' suite, having a blast. Hair and makeup just finished, and my besties are already changed and waiting. The photographer—who knows a hell of a lot more about wedding day scheduling than I do, thank goodness—has tasked me with changing into my undergarments so I can then get laced up into my dress. I've only got a half hour to finish getting ready before we meet the guys outside for pictures. It will be the first time I see Edward today, and also the first (and only, now that I think about it) time that he'll see me in my dress.

I can't wait.

Except… I'm realizing just now that there may be something I didn't quite think all the way through.

I stare at myself in the mirror. Turn sideways. Check the other side. And now the back.

Yep. This is bad. Very, very bad.

Somehow I got that old wedding adage stuck in my head. Something old, something new… et cetera. To be honest, I hadn't really thought about it much until the week before the wedding, but once I did I wanted to make sure I was covered. The "old" is my earrings—simple pearls that my mother gave me when I first got my ears pierced. Both my dress and shoes are "new". I've "borrowed" a hair pin from my aunt, which perfectly offsets the half-up-do I chose for my hair. But as for the something "blue," well…

Fuck.

Okay, so it was a really last-minute decision. But now I'm stuck with just the options in my bag, and this was honestly the only blue item of clothing I could possibly incorporate into my wedding outfit. And I thought I'd been so thorough, carefully planning out the dress, shoes, jewelry, perfectly padded push-up bra (my boobs are looking fabulous, by the way), and slip.

Ah, yes—the silky, see-through slip.

Stupid fucking see-though slip.

And stupid fucking bright blue polka-dot panties.

They're damn cute, with little bows on the front and everything. Definitely one of my favorite pairs. But right now I hate them with a passion. How convenient, that I can glare at the object of my hate so easily through the stupid fucking see-through slip.

And now it's come down to this. We're all out of time, and I don't have any backups. I won't know for sure until I get into the dress. The options aren't looking too good.

Oh, god, I hope I don't have to go commando at my own wedding.

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Saturday
11:07 pm

Luckily, the panty problem was resolved as they were securely covered by my dress. Ali and Rose did get in a good bit of teasing, though, since I had to do the walk of shame from the bathroom and stand in front of them until the dress was ready.

Rosalie offered to trade with me if it didn't work out, which was pretty damn awkward.

But everything's been rolling smoothly since then. We met the boys in the courtyard and Edward's eyes nearly bugged out of his head when he saw me. It's really nice to know that he still gets that look in his eyes after all the time we've been together. I'm sure it's heightened by the anticipation of tonight, but I love that he just can't keep his hands off of me. We've only had to separate for a few minutes to take solo photos, and then for the walk down the aisle, but every other second we've been practically joined at the hip. And I can't wait until our hips are really joined in a few minutes…

Tonight has been absolutely perfect.

We said our "I do's", we laughed, we cried, we kissed, we chatted awkwardly with distant relatives, we ate, we drank, we danced.

By 10 pm, only the wedding party was left in the room. We helped clean up a bit and then ushered our crazy-drunk friends back to the hotel, promising to meet up with them in the morning for brunch before we leave on our honeymoon.

I stopped by my parents' room, where my mom helped me get changed. As sexy as it seems it might have been to let Edward unlace my dress, based on my previous experience with his hand-eye coordination, we would've been standing there all night. And that's definitely not what tonight is about.

So now I'm standing in the bathroom doorway in my wedding night lingerie—a beautiful floor-length white satin and lace number. It has a matching thong, thank god, so the evil blue panties are safely tucked away in my bag. If only I hadn't dropped my travel bag off at Edward's room the day before, I could have saved myself a lot of trauma…

But, no, enough of that. I need to clear my head. Because my fuckhot husband is sitting on the king-size bed in front of me, wearing only a pair of black boxer-briefs, and my heart's about to explode out of my chest. He must hear it because he looks up, taking in a sharp breath as his eyes travel over my curves.

"Oh, Bella…" he murmurs reverently.

I shuffle over to stand in front of him. He spreads his knees so I can slide in closer. His hands are on my waist and my arms wrap around his neck.

Of course, this puts his face perfectly at the level of my lace-covered breasts. He stares at them like a starving man in front of an all-you-can-eat buffet. I always knew Edward was a boob man.

My giggle draws his attention up to my face, and he gives me a sheepish smile.

"Sorry, you're just so beautiful," he says. Gah, he's such a romantic.

"I love you," I tell him, because what else can I say? He's amazing and sexy and all of a sudden, I'm really fucking nervous.

"I love you, too. My wife." Edward smiles his heartwarming crooked smile and I blush automatically. "Come here."

He takes my hand and gently pulls me onto the bed with him. We shift around awkwardly and I end up hovering over him, straddling his thighs.

Even though we haven't gone all the way, we've done a bit of experimenting together, and it turns out he really likes me on top. Probably because of the easy access to the girls. I'm not complaining—it's the perfect position for me to control the pace and friction.

Edward grins up at me. "Well, hello there." He weaves his fingers through my hair, pulling me down for a tender kiss that quickly turns heated. His lips are warm and wet, hot and heavy, searing my own with his passion. His free hand roams my side, exploring fingertips playing with the hem of my gown, slipping under the fabric to trace patterns across my flushed skin.

When we're both gasping for breath, he releases me to roll us over, dipping down to gently nip at the delicate skin behind my ear before trailing kisses down my neck. Moaning softly at the almost overwhelming sensations, I close my eyes and tilt my head back to give him better access. Edward continues his path down my body, and I feel him slowly slide the straps down my arms to reveal my naked breasts. I don't need to open my eyes to be able to picture the eager look that's certainly present in his, before he wraps his mouth around one of my aching nipples, sucking roughly and flicking his tongue against the hardened peak.

My body responds instinctively—chest jutting out, knees falling to the side allowing him to settle further between them, hips thrusting up to meet his. We're separated by just a few thin pieces of fabric, and I can feel Edward hard and ready against my inner thigh. I struggle to open my eyes as he continues his ministrations, loving to watch him as he pleasures me. My eyelids are heavy and my thoughts are clouded. His name is a whisper on my lips and I try to tell him just how good it feels, how good he feels, but…

Yaaaawn.

Edward pauses.

"Bella?"

"Hmm?" Wait, why isn't he on top of me any more? What's going on?

I blink a few times, trying to get my vision to focus. Edward's on his side next to me, brows furrowed. "Are you okay?"

"Mmm, yeah, I'm fine," I mumble. I just can't do it; my eyes slip closed again.

"Um, okay…" he trails off. "Are you, uh—do you want to go to sleep?"

Ah, shit.

It seems that with all the anticipation I had built up last night, added to the constant activity and stress of trying to make sure everything was perfect today, plus wearing heels for almost eight hours straight… I'm absolutely exhausted. No offense to Edward, since I know I'm aroused as well, but apparently that hazy, floating feeling was not just an effect of his caresses.

"No, I'm sorry. I'm good," I try to tell him, even as my body lets it clearly be known that I don't even have the strength to roll over to face him.

"It's okay," he soothes, brushing back the hair that's fallen across my forehead. He places a gentle kiss there and pulls the blanket up around us, snuggling me against his chest. "Sleep, love."

"But… make love… you," I manage to get out. It's getting really hard to focus.

Edward chuckles lightly, the sound muted by my half-asleep brain. I can't tell whether he's resigned or relieved.

"Don't worry, we will."

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Sunday
1:46 pm

It's been an incredibly awkward day. We've just started to get out of our funk, and I'm determined to make sure tonight ends on a much better note.

It took a long time in the morning for me to even look Edward in the eye. I was so horribly embarrassed and didn't want to see his disappointment. And no matter how many times he told me it was okay, I knew it really wasn't. Because I was disappointed in myself—how could he not be?

With the remaining bit of tension, we weren't really in the mood to give it another go in the light of day, but we calmed ourselves down enough to make it to brunch. Of course, that was just a disaster waiting to happen. I'm not sure which was worse: knowing that our friends have thought for years that we were already having sex and trying to avoid all conversations on the subject, or having to endure the speculation and innuendo about what we'd done last night. Also up for debate (at least in my self-conscious mind) was which one of us would receive more teasing were our friends to find out that I had fallen asleep during foreplay on our wedding night.

Clearly on the same page, Edward and I somehow managed to divert their attention to other topics, but it took a lot out of both of us.

We packed up, checked out of the hotel and started our long drive up the coast.

We're spending our honeymoon week near (but not right in the middle of) a relatively large city, which we've actually visited before. I maintained that I did not want to go the tourist route, preferring to spend the time exploring my husband rather than the sights. Edward easily agreed, so we splurged on the hotel room and a sporty rental car. We had planned to take most of the day to drive up, just enjoying each other's company and leaving time to stop anywhere that might catch our eye.

Although it doesn't start out as carefree and fun as I'd envisioned, as the time passes we are slowly able to relax and return to our usual affectionate banter. Besides being lovers, Edward truly is my best friend, and we both find it difficult to maintain any sort of distance—whether physical or emotional—even when one or both of us is upset about something.

It only takes an hour for my hand to find its way across the shifter to Edward's knee, and his immediately covers mine with a gentle squeeze and a smile.

And when I suggest stopping for a late lunch at a quaint seaside café, we snuggle up together on one side of the booth and hold hands under the table the entire time, giggling like lovesick teenagers. Makes it a little difficult to eat, but, meh. Food is overrated.

We both have our minds on a different type of hunger.

Sadly, we've got another few hours of driving left, and Edward never was one to risk public indecency…

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Sunday
8:35 pm

After unpacking, a quick nap, and an easy dinner out, we're back at our hotel for the night. I've excused myself to the bathroom for a little primping.

"Let's do this!" my bright-eyed reflection encourages, as I turn for the door.

Determined, I stalk towards Edward on the bed. Tonight I'm wearing a short, red silk nightie (thanks Ali!). It's one of his favorite colors on me, and I see his eyes light up with both love and lust.

It doesn't take long before we're right back where we left off last night—bodies intertwined, mouths and hands roaming, our breaths a mixture of gasps and moans. Edward's shirt has already hit the floor, and my nightie soon follows. I'm bare to him except for my lacy black boyshorts. He stares for a long moment with heavy-lidded eyes, before diving right in. Nimble fingers tweak one nipple while his lips surround the other. He gives equal attention to both breasts, tugging and teasing until I'm writhing beneath him. I rake my fingers through his hair, holding him close to me with a tug that earns me a delicious hum against my skin.

Several minutes later, he hasn't let up, and my breasts are starting to feel extra sensitive. It still feels good, but I'm ready to move further. I pull him up for a hard kiss, our tongues dancing together feverishly. Edward moves to resume his fondling, but I cut that off quickly by hooking one leg around his waist, encouraging him to flip us over. He does so eagerly and the momentum causes me to tip forward, bringing my body down to rub against his in just the right place. Our lips still fused together, I greedily swallow his groan, pressing myself harder against him to earn another.

Feeling bold, I sit up, giving Edward a full frontal view. Balancing my weight on his nicely-toned abs, I slowly circle my hips over his, creating waves of delicious friction. His hands jump up to my sides, helping me move against him as we pant in unison. Then he tries to sit up to reach my breasts with his mouth. I stop him with some extra pressure on his chest.

Seriously? He's a little too obsessed with the boobies. Then again… they're the perfect size to fit in his hands, naked and bouncing in front of him, just out of reach… Okay, I get it. Just a little.

Our breathing is getting heavier and I'm building up, up, up. I can feel Edward—quite literally—straining to maintain his control, as well. But I don't want to come like this. I want him to touch me… really touch me. So I slow down and make to climb off of him.

This earns me an adorably confused look from my very, very aroused husband.

His confusion quickly fades when I shimmy out of my panties, lying back on the bed beside him. He strips down as well, and I take a moment to ogle. Totally necessary. I've gotten acquainted with not-so-little Edward before, but I'm looking forward to us getting even closer tonight. Edward rolls on his side facing me and I immediately take him in my hand, relishing the contrast in the feel of the hot, smooth skin of his hardness, along with the shudder that courses through his entire body at my touch.

As much as I love touching him and bringing him pleasure, it seems he is too lost in the feeling to reciprocate. I pause for a moment, waiting for his verdant eyes to meet mine. There's a plea in there, clear as day: more, more, more.

Yeah, well, I want more, too.

"Touch me?" I whisper.

Edward's eyes light up with understanding. He draws a finger into his mouth, getting it slightly wet before bringing it straight down between my legs. Fuck, that's cold. I let out a low hiss at the uncomfortable sensation, wiggling my hips a little. I have to admit, it's not really pleasant. I mean—I'm already wet. If you're going to add to it, use lube or your mouth or something. Jesus. That is… yeah, that doesn't feel so good. I'm not really sure where he's rubbing… it's not my clit, that's for sure… His thumb is pressing soft circles into my mound, which is sweet and all, but… nope, that's not doing it for me.

I moan a little in frustration, but Edward seems to take it as a sign of pleasure, doubling his efforts. He makes a few longer passes, barely brushing my clit but not stopping there. I try to twist my body to get him in the right place, but it seems to just throw him off. Not enough to stop or switch positions, however.

"Does that feel good?" he asks breathily.

Uhm. How do I put this?

"Mmm," I reply noncommittally. He seems to accept my non-answer.

While a part of me does want to tell him exactly how it feels, there's another part that wants him to notice for himself. He's watching me (sort of) through half-closed eyes—can't he read my expressions? I'm not the type who gets pleasure from pain, dammit.

He doesn't even attempt to go near my entrance, which is utterly frustrating. Be it a long finger or a hot cock—or, fuck, even a dildo—I'm dying to feel something inside of me, stretching and filling me up.

When I said virgin, I meant it in every way.

I've been tempted before during my… "me" time, but always just end up settling for rubbing my clit. (Hey, it works!) But thanks to that, I have zero experience with any sort of penetration. I even refuse to use tampons. That's just… weird. Yeah.

And now I'm thinking about tampons while my husband rubs my pussy. How fantastic.

Needing to clear my head, I draw him in for a hard kiss, returning my attention to his cock. He's hard and ready, a drop of precum beading at the tip. I lick my lips.

And suddenly, he's gone from my grasp. Also, perhaps a good thing, his hand is no longer touching me.

I look up, confused, and see Edward struggling with the condom box he'd placed next to the bed earlier this evening. I will admit I gulped nervously when I first saw the size of the box. But don't get me wrong—I'm certainly not averse to using them all up. Nope, no complaints here.

I'm not entirely sure I'm ready for this part, but, hey, it'll all be good. Right? I mean, it's me and Edward. Together. We'll figure everything out as it goes. Or perhaps more appropriately, as it comes.

Once Edward's sheathed himself, he slides back over to me. I can tell he's thinking about pulling me on top of him, and I need to nip that in the bud, fast. As much as I've heard good things about girl-on-top, I can't imagine that being very pleasant for our first time.

I pull him back to hover over me, and he's suddenly right there. We're both extremely tense, though a bit of it fades when he kisses me tenderly.

"I love you," he says as he starts to push forward.

"I love you, t—OW!" I screech. Fuck, that hurts.

"What's wrong? Is that… is this not right?"

Huh?

I think about what he just said, and no, it's not right. He's not in the right spot. And the pressure from where he's pressing against me, well, it hurts. Shit. That's because obviously, he can't go in there. Urgh. Shouldn't he be looking where he's going? Isn't that like the first rule or something?

I shake my head. "No. Ow. Stop pushing there!" Finally, he pulls back a little bit. "Try a little lower?"

I mean, I know my way around my own body fairly well, but I can't exactly see what's going on. What do you expect? He's the one with the view, which he's not taking advantage of like I know I would be. If I, you know, was in his position. And had the proper anatomy for that. Urgh. Clearly, my brain has been scrambled.

He tries again, shifting his hips, rubbing against me. Ooh, right there, that felt nice. He seems to move easier, so I assume he's picked up some of my wetness. Now he's sliding down, sliding…

"Woah!"

Nooo way, buddy.

Edward's cock is now pressing between my ass cheeks, and hell no! That is just not happening. No way, no how. Not today, not ever.

I give him a glare and he quickly slides back up, looking sheepish. Also, extremely frustrated. Much like I imagine my own expression must be.

Third time's the charm?

Not likely.

This time he's too high, and while the pressure against my clit feels incredible, it's not really what we're going for here. But hell, I'll take it. He continues to move against me, somehow getting the friction just right so that I'm constantly being stimulated. I can't help moaning my approval.

It seems this action is working for Edward, as well, as he's starting to thrust with more purpose. Our breaths are getting shallower as the pace increases. I reach down, wanting to feel him and maybe help guide him along, but as soon as my hand wraps around the top of his cock, he cries out and pulses against me, filling the condom. We both still as he comes down from his high, rolling to my side.

Cue awkward pause.

So, I didn't quite get there. Unfortunate, but I begin to think it's almost okay when I see Edward's blissed-out expression. Although, I am admittedly a little bit jealous. Also, still pretty amped up. And as some people are wont to do when on an adrenaline high, I start rambling.

"Uhm, so, I'm not sure what happened there. I mean, we tried… Is it me? I don't really know where it's supposed to go and all that, um… But, fuck! This should be easier than assembling IKEA furniture—just stick tab A into slot B, and voilà! Right? But no, your freaking guess-ticles keep getting lost on the way in. Shit, I mean… I love your, um, you know what, but baby, if we can't figure out where it goes, then what are we gonna do? Do you think… ah—"

I'm cut off when Edward presses his lips to mine. It's not a heated kiss, just sweet and gentle. It works to calm that insecure feeling coursing through me. My eyes blink back open when we finish and I see him looking straight at me with so much tenderness, I'm not sure what to do.

"I'm sorry, love. I meant to hold out longer, I swear, but it's just so hard to control myself when I'm around you. And I'm sorry about the whole… position, thing… um, I'm just not sure… Ah, I know you didn't, you know—do you want to try again? Only I'll need a bit of recovery time…"

This time it's my turn to stop his nervous babbling. "It's okay, Edward. I'm okay."

"Really?" He looks doubtful.

"Uhm, yeah." I'm not really in it any more. I feel like I need a break, to regroup or something. Ugh, I hate this feeling. "Can you just, I don't know, hold me for a bit?"

I hate that it's so hard for me to express myself, even to the love of my life. I've certainly opened up since we've been together, but clearly there's still a ways to go. I guess it's something we'll grow into as we nurture our marriage.

"Of course, baby. Come here." Edward wraps his arms around me and we lay silently, just breathing each other in.

Eventually, the comfort of the warmth of his arms and the steady beat of his heart lull me to sleep.

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Friday
3:02 am

I can't fall asleep. So many thoughts running through my head—I just might go insane.

Edward is dozing peacefully beside me. The moonlight slips through the window shade, lighting up his striking features. I tamp down on the desire to trace a finger along his cheekbone… across his forehead… through the light smattering of hair on his chest… down, down, down…

He's a light sleeper, and I'm pretty sure he'd immediately wake up and think me a creeper for watching him sleep. Never mind my hormone-driven thoughts.

But most of all, he'd be worried about me. And I really don't want him to have to worry. We've had a tough enough time, as it is.

Problem is: we're both so painfully shy, we can't say what we really want. I know he's the one for me—we have the sexual chemistry, the deep emotional connection, the desire to learn and to try and to be good to our partner… just not the knowledge or experience to act on it. And it's a complicated feeling, rejoicing in the fact that we're each other's firsts, while somewhere deep down wishing that at least one of us had the past experience to navigate through the confusing parts.

I mean, high school sex ed was decidedly un-sexy. Completely and totally. Granted, at that stage they were trying to get us kids to not have sex, but… couldn't they have thrown in at least a little bit of useful information?

Well… now we're at a bit of an impasse. Tomorrow—actually, I guess it's today—is the last day of our trip. I want to make the most of it. I want to… just DO it. (Thanks, Nike.) I want to have all that hot, steamy sex that Ali was talking about!

We've only tried one other time to be intimate this week, and it didn't end well. No, that's not really true—it ended with a fantastic dry fuck and a fun, sudsy shower together. But again, we were both too timid to broach the subject of going any further, so we just… didn't. It's become this huge, awkward elephant in the room, and I don't want this hanging over us when we go home in two days. Who knows how long it will continue to fester if we don't get past it now?

So, tomorrow I'm bringing out the big guns. The hidden ace up my sleeve. A different type of dirty little secret—really, quite the opposite of my v-card status. It's something I never, ever thought I'd tell Edward about, because honestly, I could have just stopped, or continued on in secret. And no one would be the wiser.

But now I'm hoping to put it to good use. Throw caution to the wind, and all that. I'm going all in, and hopefully that will lead to Edward being all up in me, and… yeah. We're back to that train of thought.

Oh well, not a bad image to doze off to…

I'll need my strength for tomorrow.

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Friday
9:54 pm

I take a deep breath, count to ten, then let it out slowly. A final glance in the mirror reveals I'm ready to go. Black lace babydoll, matching thong, stockings, smoky eyes, curled hair—the works. It's a confidence-inspiring getup, which I'm in dire need of if I'm really going to go through with this.

Edward won't know what hit him.

There's always the possibility that this could go badly, but… I'm not letting that chance get the best of me. I know my husband, and even if he doesn't know this about me yet, I'm pretty damn sure he's going to like it. Even if it takes some… prodding for him to admit it.

Whew.

Here we go.

I slip on my robe and head out to the bedroom.

I hadn't given Edward any indication that I was doing anything different that my typical bedtime routine, so he doesn't look up right away when I come out. He's lounging on the bed in just a tee shirt and boxers, looking relaxed and as ah-may-zing as usual. I study him in silence until he finally notices my presence. He smiles and turns off his iPad, placing it on the bedside table.

"Hey, baby. You coming to bed?" He stands up to pull the covers back, but pauses when I don't move towards him. So, he can't get the full effect while I'm still wearing the robe, but… jeez, he's really not all that observant, is he? But that's okay.

I'll be coming, alright.

I drop my robe.

His eyes grow wide. "Fuck…" he whispers. Barely there, but I heard it. Internally, I do a little happy dance—we're already getting somewhere. Edward very rarely uses coarse language, and typically only when he's really pissed off. I'm hoping to change that tonight.

I make my way over to him, wrapping my arms around his waist and stretching up on my tiptoes for a kiss. Edward tilts down to meet me halfway, and I pull as close as I can get, molding myself to the length of his body. Our lips meet in a passionate dance, and I sigh into his mouth, soaking in the familiar comfort of being held in his arms. I don't want to move, but… we've got business to attend to.

I drop back and gesture for him to join me in the bed. We snuggle up together and I notice how his hands can't stay away—it's like he just has to be touching me in some way. I'm inordinately pleased that our struggles this past week have not deterred him from wanting me. Of course, it's the same on my end.

Before we continue, there's a couple of things I need to say. I look up at Edward, wanting to make sure he can see the determination in my eyes, but also my vulnerability. I'm about to let him in to see a hidden side of myself that no one else even knows exists.

"Do you trust me?"

He looks confused, but still nods immediately. "Of course, love."

"Will you let me take the lead tonight?" Another more hesitant nod. "I'll definitely explain, but for now… I'd like to try to show you how to touch me."

Not waiting for a response—although I do notice his eyes light up—I reach over to pull his shirt off. He gives it up without a fuss and I fling it blindly across the room. I pause briefly to take in his broad chest, lightly tracing a finger over one of his nipples. I smirk as it hardens and he lets out a soft gasp.

Leaning back, I prop myself up on my elbows. "Undress me?" I offer with a smile.

He needs no further prompting, eagerly reaching forward to tug the garment up over my head. Our underwear soon follows, and I'm left only wearing my thigh-high stockings. "On or off?" I ask, smirking.

"Um, on, please," he breathes, running his hand along the silky material.

When his hand reaches my hip, I guide it up further to my breast, squeezing lightly to encourage him. Edward certainly knows what to do here, so I let him go to town. Soon I'm a writhing, mewling mess, my body trembling with need.

Wanting to catch him up a little bit, I distract him by reaching my hand out to run along his length. He leans back a little, opening up his body to me and allowing me more room to maneuver. I work my hand over Edward's shaft, enjoying seeing his face contort in pleasure. When I pause for just a moment, he watches carefully as I bring my hand up to my mouth, licking my palm thoroughly, then replace it on his cock. He shivers at the slick sensation.

"Is this okay?" I check, not that I really need to.

"God, Bella, fuck. Yes, yes, feels so good," he moans.

Yes!

While his eyes are closed, I shift my body, bending over to lightly drag my tongue over the tip of him. His dick twitches and his hands twist into the sheets. Grinning, I take him fully into my mouth, flattening my tongue against his length. I taste warmth and saltiness and Edward. Mmm.

"Ah!" Edward cries out, as I start to bob my head over his cock. "Don't stop, don't stop," he chants.

His hands grab at me, and I can tell he's surprised when the closest part of me they find purchase on is my ass. Grunting, he digs his fingers in, and I can't help pushing back towards him. I wonder… would he? We've only done it once before, but…

No, not tonight. I have something else in mind.

I release him with a pop. Knowing if I pause I might give in to my shyness, I immediately roll back over, pulling him on top of me. He settles between my legs, kissing me as if his life depends on it. When we break apart to get our breath back, I guide him to sit up in a kneeling position, while at the same time I bring my knees in towards my chest.

"What are you—" he starts to ask, trailing off as I slowly let my legs fall to the side.

I am completely exposed to him, and it feels exhilarating. His eyes are fixed on my naked pussy, and I just know I'm soaking wet by now. Edward's hand twitches at his side, and I reach out for him.

"Touch me, please," I plead.

My body is trembling with the need for his touch. Edward's hand approaches cautiously, so I grab on and guide him exactly where I want him. His fingers swirl around my entrance, gathering the wetness there.

"You're so wet." His voice is awed. "This is…wow."

I slowly drag his hand upwards, bringing his wet fingers to my clit. Together we draw torturous patters across my engorged flesh. His eyes are locked on the motion of our hands, while I'm watching his expression. It's definitely something different for us for him to be seeing my body this way. We're usually more face to face—or face to boobs—and I know he's never really looked at me like this. But this is exactly how I want us to be. I want us to each be able to enjoy the pleasure both given and taken.

"Is this… is this okay? Is it good?" he pants, eager eyes meeting mine. I almost want to laugh at his excitement, but there's nothing funny about the way he's making me feel right now. And the fact that he knows it. He can tell the difference—he's learning my tells, getting the most intimate knowledge of what turns me on and gets me off.

"Inside," I gasp, "I want to feel your fingers… inside." Edward's eyes open wide and he nods, taking a deep breath.

His hand slips back down, and one finger circles my entrance. With my legs spread wide open, there's no doubt what to do, where my needy body is calling for him.

"Here?"

"Oh, god—yes, yes, now, please!"

"Fuck," we exhale in unison as one digit slips inside me. Oh, so amazing—I can feel him in me, oh, god, oh…

He moves hesitantly at first, searching, exploring my depths. Watching my reaction—which is a big fuck yes, keep going!—he builds his confidence, easing into a gentle thrusting motion that has me writhing in no time.

"Another… another one," I prompt between moans. He obliges, sliding a second finger in easily.

With the added thickness there's a slight stretching feeling, but nothing too painful. I chance a glance at Edward's rock-hard cock, pointing like a beacon towards the Promised Land.

Uh… we're going to need to do a little more work before that'll fit inside me.

"More," I beg shamelessly. I'm trying to keep my cool, keep grounded so I can tell him what I need, but it's so difficult not to just lose control. Luckily, Edward's a very fast learner.

Before I know it, there's a new feeling of fullness inside me, accompanied by a slight sting. I hiss, and Edward stops immediately, looking up at me with concern. "Keep going, slowly," I instruct, assuring him with my gaze that it's okay to continue. He begins to move again—in and out, in and out—and as the stretching eases my tension dissipates. It seems Edward can feel my body relax, as he picks up speed again.

Before I get lost in the delicious feelings again, there's one thing I just have to try. Something I've only read about up until now…

"Can you… can you curl your fingers, up? This way?" I slide my own hand down my body to rest on my abdomen, showing him exactly what I want.

He has to twist his wrist a little to get the right angle, and when he does…

"Shit!" I practically yell, as something pulses deep within me.

Edward looks up, startled. "What was that? Did that hurt? Are you—"

"Again! Ohmigod, Edward, again, please, please." Oh, fuck, that feels so much better than can be described in words.

"Why does it feel different right here?" Edward whispers as he touches that spot—that spot!—again. This time, instead of pulling back for another thrust, he rubs small circles inside of me. Oh, shit, how does he know…

"Unh, Edward! So good!" I cry out. Without warning, I'm falling over the edge, clamping down on his fingers as he continues his ministrations. My mind blanks out for a moment as I'm lost to the pleasure he's given me.

When I return to my senses, I find Edward still staring at me, his expression a mix of pride and reverence. He slides his fingers out and I immediately pull him up to my lips for a searing kiss.

"Now, Edward," I demand.

"Huh?" You'd think it was him who'd just had the best orgasm of their life; he's practically stunned speechless.

"Make love to me, right now." I cut him off as I see he's about to protest. "Trust me, please. Right now is the best time. I am already relaxed and stretched. I know it will still hurt, but it will also feel amazing. I want you, Edward. I need you," I plead.

I know Edward's worried about hurting me, but he can clearly see the determination in my eyes. Wordlessly, he reaches over to the bedside table to grab a condom. As he's distracted with opening the package, I quickly sit up and grab his package. Not that he needs help getting back up to speed—he appears to be painfully hard after watching me come—but I just want to get my hands on him again. Edward fumbles with the condom as I stroke him firmly, and he finally brushes my hands out of the way so he can roll it on. I'm practically panting as I watch him give his cock a few quick pulls.

I lean back again and he hovers over me, carefully lining us up. We lock eyes, and the rest of the world fades away.

This is us. Just us. Edward and Bella. A man and a woman, who have shared vows and promised themselves to each other. Everything that happened this week—all the ups and downs, the confusion and insecurity—none of it matters.

This is our love.

Oh-so-carefully, he pushes in, just the tip. I take deep breaths, trying not to tense up as he stretches me once again.

"Slowly," I caution in a whisper.

"Tell me if it hurts," he insists, as he struggles not to move. My hands run over his chest and shoulders, soothing him and taking comfort for myself as the burn starts.

Inch by inch, he eases inside of me. The sensation is far different than his fingers—warm and solid, such a complete feeling, an all-encompassing fullness. We can both tell when he reaches my barrier. I know neither of us can wait much longer, so…

"Go!" I tell him, crying out at the sharp sting when he thrusts his hips forward. Edward freezes in place, muscles taut with restraint, waiting for me to adjust. He's finally fully seated inside me, and the tears that sneak out are a combination of the pain and the overwhelming emotions from this moment.

"Hey, love, hey," Edward soothes, leaning down to gently kiss away my tears. Again our gazes meet, and neither of us needs to say a word. Everything unspoken passes between us in that instant.

I love you… you own me… I'm yours… together… forever…

I shift my hips experimentally, noticing that the pain has significantly decreased. The friction is amazing, so I do it again, sighing both in relief and in pleasure.

Edward groans into my hair. "Don't do that unless you're ready for me to move. I'm dying here."

I giggle, and the motion must transfer through our physical connection, as he groans again. "I'm okay, you can move."

"Oh, thank god."

He shifts his weight, pulling out slightly before pushing back in. Over and over, he repeats the motion, both of us making slight adjustments until we find a comfortable rhythm. I wrap my legs around his, pressing my heels against him to pull him even deeper. We're moving and panting and shaking, and it's the most amazing feeling in the world.

"Can't… much longer… too good," Edward tells me in short breaths. "Want to feel you come again." Without interrupting his thrusts, he somehow manages to bend down to suck my nipple.

Fuck, yeah. Having been neglected for a while, the girls are ready for more attention, and I feel the familiar coil building in my belly. Wanting to help him out, I reach down to rub my clit, keeping pace with his movement. I can feel where we're joined, and my fingers skim Edward's slick cock on each pass.

"More, harder," I moan. "So close..."

He pushes even faster, deeper inside me, and less than a minute later I'm screaming out his name, my muscles clenching as he pushes me over once again. Edward thrusts sporadically a few times before I feel him jerk inside me, filling me with warmth. Spent, he collapses on top of me, and I wrap my arms around him tightly as we both come back down from our mutual high.

As our breathing returns to normal, Edward slowly slips out of me, and I whimper quietly at the loss. His expression tells me he feels the same way. He gently kisses my lips, whispering, "I love you." He leaves me for a minute to dispose of the condom, bringing back a few tissues to help me clean up a little. Then he jumps back in bed, snuggling up behind me. I sigh, knowing what's coming.

"That was amazing, Bella," Edward whispers in my ear. I shiver at the ticklish feeling, my entire body still sensitive from our lovemaking. I nod silently in agreement. "But, um… what… how…" he trails off, I'm guessing not sure what to ask.

How did I know what to do?

"You know all those stories I'm always reading?" I turn to face him, unsurprised to see the confusion on his face. "And you know I also write occasionally?"

He nods.

"Do you know what those stories are about?"

"Uhm, it's… those vampire books, right?"

Hah. My sweet, naïve Edward.

"Right. But did you know that a lot of them don't even have vampires in them? They're just stories written about the characters, in all sorts of different settings. Most have absolutely nothing to do with the books." I'm rambling, but he's nodding along, still looking adorably confused.

"Well, a lot of them, they're very, um… explicit?" I say it as a question, and he cocks his head to the side. "Smut. They have tons of smut." Still not getting it. I think I need to be even clearer. "There's a lot of sex scenes. Really, really hot ones. Very detailed. Sometimes very kinky."

I see it the moment understanding dawns, and his eyes pop wide open. "Y-you read that stuff? A lot?" I can't tell what he's thinking from his tone, so I just nod. "And do you… have you written it, too?"

I'm sure I blush bright red as I nod this time. "I thought I might be able to, you know, use some of what I'd read before. To help us, uhm, you know?" His expression is still undecipherable, and now I'm starting to get worried. "Are… are you mad?"

He shakes his head immediately, and I sigh with relief. "No, just surprised I guess. I didn't, I don't… I don't really read that kind of stuff, so I'm not sure what it's all about, but…" His cheeks pink slightly as he thinks for a few seconds. "I guess, based on how that just went, there must be some pretty good stuff out there, huh?"

I smirk. "Oh, you have no idea."

"Oh, really?" He sounds intrigued. "Do tell."

"You really want to know?" I'm surprised. I've always hoped we'd develop an active sex life, maybe try some different types of things, but wasn't really sure Edward would be up to it, to be honest. He's such a romantic at heart, and he just admitted he hasn't explored much in this area. Is it at all possible he might be interested in trying to keep up with my dirty inner mind?

"Oh, yeah." He grins widely. "I'd love for you to teach me more, a lot more. And I'm sure we can learn some new things together." He exaggerates a wink, wiggling his eyebrows at me, and it's so ridiculous I just have to laugh. Edward joins in, his full smile and the crinkles around his eyes melting my heart. He looks so much more relaxed and happy, now that we've crossed this first hurdle.

I wonder how far I can go with this…

Why not get started right away?

"Well, then." I disentangle myself and rise from the bed, Edward's eyes following my every move. I inch backwards towards the bathroom, pausing when I reach the doorway. "Give me three minutes and then get in here. We can move on to lesson two: shower sex."

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A/N: I would like to mention some of the review comments left over on the contest page. A few people had what I thought was a very intriguing idea to continue this story by having Bella teach Edward some "new tricks" ... by playing out sexy scenes from other fics! So, I am wondering... would anyone be interested in reading something like that? I'd be willing to give it a go if people are interested and maybe if there was some consensus on a particular scene or two, as I'd like to get the original authors' permission first, if possible. Let me know your thoughts, especially if you have any suggestions! ;)

Thanks so much for reading!