Even Sam Needs Hugs

Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural obviously. It belongs to Eric Kripke.

Reviews are lovely. Xoxo

This takes place at the end of 8x20 Pacman Fever. I've had this written for a while and never posted it.

Sam closes the door to the Batcave behind him and lets his body slump. He's been aching and sore for so long now, he just can't wait to be done the trials and have it all over with. He takes a step forward and whines, his mind reverting back to a kid who would seek out his brother for comfort when he was hurting. But Dean wouldn't comfort him anymore. Not in the same way anyway.

Back in the day, comfort meant hugs and sitting close on the couch, sharing a blanket, some popcorn and a movie. Nowadays, comfort meant Dad's old stew and a clap to the shoulder. Sam missed his brother. He knew how much Dean worried about him and how he wished he could be doing more but he could be! Sam just didn't want to sound childish and ask for it.

Currently, Dean was saying goodbye to Charlie. She really was the little sister they'd never wanted. Sam was sure that they would hug before Charlie left. He himself had hugged her after all. And Dean had already hugged her twice since she got here. But Dean had been hugging everyone lately: Benny, Charlie, Kevin and Cas. Everyone but Sam. Sure, Sam had hugged Dean when he got back from purgatory and Dean had hugged him when he'd made it back with Bobby but those were their typical 'back from the dead' hugs. It had been years since he and Dean had hugged for any other reason. Sam sighed, resigning himself to the idea that Dean didn't like hugging him for some reason.

He got to the giant table in the library and had just sat down when he heard the door open behind him. He turned around and found Dean striding quickly toward him. Sam figured Dean was angry that he hadn't listened when Dean told him to stay put and rest.

"Okay, look," he tried as he stood up again, "You were right, I should've laid low, I know I shouldn't hung back. But I'm glad I was able –."

His words were cut off by Dean throwing his arms around his shoulders and pulling him close. Sam stood there shocked for a moment before bringing his own arms around his brother and patting his back once before falling into the embrace. He savored the feeling of his brother being right where he should be and couldn't help but be disappointed when Dean pulled away.

"What do you say we find our prophet?" Dean said before taking off his jacket and heading further into the bunker. Sam stared after him. How ironic was it that Dean would hug him for no reason right after Sam had been thinking about just that?

His curiosity was getting the best of him now. He called after Dean who came back around the corner.

"What was that for, just now?" Sam asked, his brow furrowing. Dean shrugged.

"Can't a man hug his brother?" Dean asked nonchalantly.

"Well sure, but you – well, you don't. You only ever hug me after one of us has died or gone to purgatory or something," Sam answered. Dean looked thoughtful for a moment.

"Do you not want me to hug you?" he asked softly.

"No!" Sam said quickly. Dean looked taken aback. "No, I do. It was just out of character is all. Well, with me anyway. You seem to have no problem hugging everyone else."

His voice got quieter and quieter until his last words were just a mumble but Dean seemed to hear him anyway. He took a few steps closer to Sam and searched his face.

"Sam, I'm sorry. After purgatory, man – when you're down there – I didn't touch anybody for like, an entire year. When I got back – I don't know, I needed the contact. But you - you've always meant more. A hug was so much bigger with you. It meant too much. So I held back. I always have. But now, with the trials, who knows what's going to happen. I guess I wanted to hug you while I still could," Dean explained.

Sam was shocked. He hadn't heard Dean talk that much about his feelings in longer than he could remember. He was frozen for a moment. A moment where Dean looked so vulnerable and it was obvious that he was about to bolt. So Sam did the only thing he could. He closed the space between them and wrapped his brother in a hug.

"I need this, Dean. I need you. This is how you used to make me feel better, remember? I need it now. You can hug me whenever you want," Sam whispered, his eyes closed tight. He felt Dean's arms tighten in response and Sam let out a shaky breath. Dean slowly pulled back but he didn't go far. He had his hand around the back of Sam's neck and he pulled until Sam had his forehead resting against Dean's. They just stood like that for a moment before Dean kissed Sam's forehead and pulled back.

"So uh –," Dean said roughly, obviously trying to dispel the chick-flick moment, "How about we grab that old projector you found, set it up in my room and have a movie night? I'll make some popcorn."

Sam smiled. "Yeah, Dean. That sounds great."

Dean smiled back and then they both turned to their respected tasks. Sam felt lighter than he had in weeks. He felt like he could actually finish these trials.

The End