"Dark!Harry reflects on his first kill as a puny fledgling in the chaos of rising war" for addledadlers

)O(

He had thought it was going to be a lot harder.

He had braced himself for killing someone to be an agonizing experience. He had prepared justifications for himself as to why he had needed to do it: that it was the only way to win the war, that he would never have done it unless it was absolutely crucial.

He had not been prepared for the possibility that he might not need those justifications.

He had not been prepared to fall asleep easily after he did it, without tossing or turning or nightmares. He had not been prepared to be able to think easily about other things.

Harry Potter had not been prepared to call himself a murderer.