Breaking The Rules

Disclaimer: Masashi Kishimoto is the creator of the popular Naruto manga/anime series and all its official characters. DC Superheroes, Justice League, Teen Titans, Batman, Superman, and all others I'm likely forgetting such as official characters, background series stories, worldly plotlines, and miscellaneous belong to the super huge creators of the aptly collected DC Universe. I do not own anything that gets mentioned as cameo from other anime/manga, video games, music, and etcetera. All I own are Original Characters that come into play.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we apologize for interrupting your televised program. We now redirect you to our correspondent Vicki Vale from our sister news branch from Gotham City, live from Los Angeles, California. Vicki, are you there?"

"Yes Diana, I am here. I am Vicki Vale from Gotham News. I am not the only one here, Diana. There are many other news stations from across the world here in Los Angeles today for what is said to be a press statement from the CEO of Uzumaki Industries. It is a virtual swamp of news cameras and reporters. I even met Matt from NBC a few minutes ago before he went live on-air for NBC News. This press statement is so important, our rivals from Fox News is here."

"Vicki, has the CEO of Uzumaki Industries arrived yet?"

"Not yet, Diana. However, there are many rumors and speculations going around the internet regarding the apparent cyber suit attack and the explosion from an industry company that was said to be affiliated with Uzumaki Industries through contract business deals."

"Vicki-"

But Diana was cut-off when world-wide, every viewer that were watching this heard increased commotion, and soon flash photography was erupting with brilliance. Of course, there were many others interested in watching this, namely Uzumaki Industries' company rivals like Lex Luthor in Metropolis City. Naruto Uzumaki, the CEO of Uzumaki Industries, had made himself publically appear as he walks out of his building. Escorted by building security, Naruto walks up onto the stage, not reacting much to the multiple flashes of cameras and photographers snapping pictures of him, and the shouting of reporters.

From a television format to real format, we now go to LA, which is the HQ of Uzumaki Industries.

The CEO of the company was a young twenty-two year old, with brilliant blond hair. One would tell him he had hair that was dunked with yellow paint. He had cerulean blue eyes that seem to speak with emotion, and often are compared to that of the fierceness of the ocean. His spiky blond hair was swept back somewhat. He is wearing black suit slacks and a buttoned white beater with the sleeves rolled to the elbows. He forgoes wearing the matching coat that went with the slacks. He also wore a yellow tie the color of his hair, and polished black oxfords. Around the neck was a simple rope necklace with a strange greenish teal jewel.

The CEO of the company was casually eating fruit granola balls that were coated in vanilla Greek yogurt. It was GREEK on the go!; a type of brand granola food. He had a 2 lbs. bag from the local Sam's Club supermarket. And yes, it does sound delicious.

"Sorry folks. I was a bit hungry when I was ready to come out to meet you all for this press statement. And for those watching wondering where I got this." Naruto holds the bag up, presenting it as if he was in an infomercial, "I bought this from LA's local Sam's Club supermarket."

Up in space, the floating fortress/space station built secretly by Wayne Enterprises is where many members of the Justice League were currently watching this. They were a small part of the incident that happened in LA, with the attack by some man wearing a giant suit of super armor only to be stopped by a smaller super armor-worn hero who had no current affiliation with the Justice League.

"Am I the only one who finds that a bit funny?" asks Flash.

"Yes," several reply.

In Jump City, we have the Teen Titans in their famous Titans Tower. Robin, our boy wonder, was also interested in this, since he WAS trained by the Batman and everything. Even if Beast Boy was complaining about missing his favorite cartoons, most channels were cut off to bring this press statement live for everyone to watch.

"Huh. I have to remember that," stated Beast Boy, regarding the snack food Naruto presented on TV. Still, he wanted to watch his shows...

"Shush," Robin hushed Beast Boy.

Back to LA again, Naruto popped a sphere into his mouth, chewed quietly then swallowed.

"Ladies and gentlemen, my advisers on the Board of Directors had requested that I conduct this press release statement for you all, regarding the incident that happened two weeks ago here in LA."

There were many cameras recording this live for all TV viewers to watch. The reporters without cameras that wrote the many papers across the United States had recorders and microphones to catch his every word, if the many microphones set-up at the booth he stood before did not catch him first.

"What happened was..." He stops for a moment, glances at the papers in hand. "The event that happened two weeks ago is not because of my company."

Naruto looks across the sea of faces, both physically here at the press release, and the millions watching around the world. He then glances to the papers in the folder.

"The explosion was reported to be a bomb set-up by a crazy man who escaped Arkham Asylum. And eyewitnesses stating they saw a man wearing a suit of armor designed after a fox flying around are lies crafted by rival companies. You see..."

Here, Naruto stops again. With a sigh, one that was audible, he sets the papers down and closes the folder. This blatant lie crafted by his board of directors would never flow freely, especially once a certain detective with the affixed "world's greatest" strips back their lies and decides to do undercover work with the Justice League. Naruto Uzumaki then looks up and stares out to everyone. This time, those up-close can see that the CEO's eyes were now swirling with emotion.

"I am the Iron Fox," he stated, loud and clear for everyone to understand.

Cue the pandemonium of this shocking confession by the reporters, pandemonium that is rapidly spreading across the world. The Justice League was for once shocked by this revelation. It's rare for one to catch Batman himself off-guard.

"Whoa, wait! Time-out! Did he just reveal his secret identity on live TV?" said Flash.

"What the hell?" Cyborg exclaims in Jump City, after the spit-take of his soda hits Raven in the back.

A similar spit-take moment happened at Lex Corp with a certain bald villain and his lemon tea.

And as Naruto stood there absorbing the shouts of the questions spewing from the many reporters, off to the side, Naruto's trusted chief operating officer, a young woman named Rin, face palms at her boss's bluntness and the fact he just told the world that he was the one who wore the suit of armor with the motif of the kitsune. Naruto pretty much took a look at the rules regarding superheroes and secret identities, spit at its face, and kicked it in the crotch.

"Now, I know what I just said will very likely have MANY eyes on me for the next weeks to months, but I would like to fully make sure that everybody here and the millions watching around the world understand three things. One: I am not affiliated with anybody representing the Justice League and their Fortress of Solitude up in space. Two: I am not affiliated with anybody representing the Justice League and their Fortress of Solitude up in space. Three: I am not affiliated with anybody representing the Justice League and their Fortress of Solitude up in space. And just to ensure once more everyone gets this in their heads, especially you weirdo conspiracy theorists; Four: I am not the Batman."

The Flash in Justice League HQ barks a laugh at that, ignoring the irritated glare from Batman himself.

"Regarding the chaos that happened two weeks ago, I am already paying for damage repairs and the rebuilding processes right out of my pockets, as well as shelling out extra cash out so I can make this city a much safer place than it already is. That and I'm also going to make sure that LA becomes THE most memorable time of everyone's lives when WWE and WrestleMania arrives next year. Sorry Vince if you're watching but I couldn't wait until next week when WWE hosts its press conference regarding the city host for WrestleMania."

Vince McMahon face palms back in Stamford, Connecticut.

"And I guess while I still have you all here, I would like to make another announcement other than me stating I'm the Iron Fox."

When he knew he got their attention, Naruto elaborates.

"First of all, Uzumaki Industries is breaking off relations with the former Shark King Industry, as the CEO of Shark King is in prison for being the perpetrator of the attack two weeks ago and attempting to murder me in the process. You'll understand more as the CEO Shark himself has been found guilty of having connections with terrorists overseas, and was responsible for my disappearance four months ago. His trying to kill me two weeks ago was simply because I kicked terrorist ass, refused to back down and retire, refuse his shady deals, and refuse to power up his secret weapons as evident of his attempt to ripping off my Iron Fox armor by building his own suit of armor designed for major warfare than safety and protection of humanity.

"Second of all, my entire Board of Directors is fired as I had found incriminating evidence of them trying to supersede my hold on the business I created from the ground up, and conspiring with Shark to get rid of me. Thirdly, my dearest friend Rin here," Naruto at this time yanks a surprised red-head into his arm, and right into the view of cameras, "she now has a raise in her pay and will assume all control the former Board of Directors had and will help me much more in ensuring my business remains the best in the world in helping heal this planet."

He nods to police in the corner, and many caught this as said police officers now walk away, heading towards the building to make the arrests. After all, Naruto was going to press charges against the old farts for conspiring with Shark.

"The Uzumaki Expo will still go on as planned in a month from today, so tickets are still available at your local Ticketmaster and Box Office. I guarantee you that this year's expo will be the best, as I will be unveiling new clean energy technology that will help benefit in the cleaning up our Earth, and will also likely put out of business other companies that still produce technology that put out harmful gas emissions. Regarding Iron Fox, I am the sole creator of the armor. I won't bore you with the techno babble, but the suit is powered by energy of the Arc Reactor I built, but harnessed as a miniaturized form."

More questions yelled at him by the reports are heard.

"Now, if you will all excuse me, I have some new things to hash out back inside my office. I am sure to be expecting many phone calls and e-mails from my other business deals regarding this press statement."

And the shouting begins again and photography is snapped, as Naruto walks away, leading Rin away with him. Security follow their boss while the other officers made sure to keep the press back, and to make way for the cuffed old men that tried to kill Naruto being led from the building into awaiting police vans. Back at Justice League HQ, the giant monitor that doubles as the computer monitor and television viewing shuts off. Batman released the button for the off switch on the desk. There was some murmuring amongst the Justice League heroes. Most were however silent, still absorbing the news they all heard.

"Okay, so Mr. Uzumaki pretty much painted a giant bulls-eye on himself when he told the world he was Iron Fox," stated Superman, glancing at Batman.

"He either has balls of steel, or is that cocky. I think it's both," said Flash. "Plus his funny jab at Batman..."

Batman glares at Flash again.

"No doubt our super villain gallery has one way or another heard and/or seen that press statement on internet or TVs, and now have this information," a hero garb in green tells everyone in the hearing vicinity. We know him of course as the Green Lantern.

"He stated he has no ties with the Justice League. And the U.S. Government will likely respond to this press statement. The question, the important one here: What do we do about this?" asks Superman aloud.

The thing is... no one knows what to do next.

This was the first time anybody has ever done a stunt like this. Indeed the next few months will be chaotic. And no doubt many, both of the hero community and villain community were going to look at Naruto much more closely in the following months. Some like Enigma, Robin back in Jump City, Deathstroke, and of course Batman, our world's greatest detective. Naruto meanwhile just smiles, takes it all in stride, and ignores the berating he was getting by Rin. He also continues to snack away on his snack bag from Sam's.

Hey, he's hungry...

"And what are you going to do about my new hybrid position in the company, Naruto?" Rin yells.

"Just like you were my personal, you'll get your own. Just conduct the interviews for when you hire someone you can trust, babe," Naruto tells Rin.

She groans.

"I swear Naruto, you live just to piss me off from time to time," she grumbles.

"Hey, you love me that way," he says, sliding close to Rin.

She smacks him in the chest hard with a backhand.

"Are you sure you're not a narcissist?"

"Well, maybe it's your red hair that drives me crazy," he whispers into her ear.

That earns him another smack to the chest as a blushing Rin storms out of his office, leaving a snarky grinning blond all by his lonesome, and music from his surround sound speakers blaring JRock songs off the Vocaloid album High Gain Street.

Yes. That just happened. This was completely random. It will likely have little plot to it all. This happened all in my mind while I was taking a shower. Yes, you read right. The weirdest idea to ever be crafted. I doubt anyone will give this a review, but that's all of this random oneshot. And yes, it IS random...