Kissing Lessons

We sit in my room, neither particularly satisfied. Of course neither of us would be here if given a choice. He would be with Mary - she doesn't want him. I would still be with his father - the man who ruined me - whom I still hold affection for. He might not be in his right mind - Catherine thinking him touched by the devil himself - but he is the reason I'm currently unsatisfied and wanting to escape to take care of my needs myself.

But I'm nothing if not practical. We have to make this work - and it's up to me to get us moving in that direction - since he seems content to wallow in the past and yearn for might-have-beens-but-never-really-weres. I'm not going to live my life that way. Henry promised me a husband and he delivered - just not in the way I'd anticipated.

I loved Henry, but he didn't ever truly love me - I see that now. He certainly didn't respect me. Not the way he respects Diane - or Catherine even. So, I'm going to put Henry and that part of my life in the past and figure out a way to make the best of a not ideal situation.

We became true friends while he was betrothed to Mary. Which is somewhat strange; I've never truly become friends with Francis. Perhaps it's that Bash reminds me of what attracted me to Henry, whereas Francis doesn't. Bash cuts a figure like his father when he tries - rugged, masculine, sporting. Francis has his own ways of commanding attention - his quick mind and decisiveness being two. But I think the fact that Francis always kept his distance from Diane has influenced his arm's length treatment of me. He's both loyal to his mother and he doesn't want to get in the middle of his father's dalliances or ongoing relationships.

I shrug on a robe to cover myself and try to formulate a plan. "Look, we both know if we had a choice, we wouldn't be here," I say.

"No, that's putting it mildly," he agrees, shrugging his shoulders.

"But, we're here and we're not getting out of this," I try to reason. "We're married. We didn't ask for this, but it's not like either of us is in a position to say no to Henry."

"No," he laughs harshly. "What the king wants, the king usually gets."

"So why don't we try to make the best of the parts of this we can?" I suggest.

"How so?" he asks with a raised brow.

"Well, first of all," I start. "We can begin by not resenting one another. Neither of us asked to be here or to marry one another - Henry decided that for us both on a whim. So, I'd like for us to be friends and allies - to begin - rather than angry or resentful. Can we begin there?"

He hesitates for a moment - contemplating. "Yes," he says slowly, nodding in agreement, "we can definitely be that."

"Good," I smile. "Then let's do that, and let's also discuss the kissing."

"Kissing?" his brows raise high.

"Yes, kissing," I affirm. "And your lack of skills in that area."

"My lack of skills?" he looks shocked. "I've never had complaints before."

"Then it's a good thing you have a wife that will tell you these things!" I laugh. "After all, don't you want the next woman you kiss to be fully satisfied?"

Truly, he doesn't know how to kiss properly. I saw it while he was betrothed to Mary, and I'd thought perhaps it was a function of the strange circumstance of their betrothal. It wasn't. He doesn't kiss me very well, either.

"The next woman?" he questions, brow raising again.

"Please," I puff out, shrugging my shoulders. Why would he be faithful to me? Why would he think I would expect him to be? We didn't expect or want this. I'm trying to be practical here and focus on the positive. Resentment gets us nowhere. We're stuck with one another - we should at least try to give this a go. Even if it isn't in any sort of conventional manner. "We didn't exactly marry for love - we're not Mary and Francis who actually plan to be faithful to one another till their dying day. I'm not trying to hurt you or give you pain," I touch his hand. "But you're going to get used to seeing them together all the time now that you're back - whispering and kissing in corners. It would be revolting if it weren't so obvious they're incredibly happy even when things aren't perfect."

"Aren't perfect?" he latches onto my last bit.

"Is there a couple in the world that is happy every second of every day?" I cock my brow at him.

"I suppose not," he admits, sighing. He really does need to let this thing with Mary go - for his own good.

"Plus, she's stubborn and headstrong, he's opinionated and action-oriented; they butt heads, then enjoy making up," I inform him. "It's actually rather charming once you get past them being disgustingly happy and adorable.

"But that's not what we're discussing," I continue. Really, I don't wish to dwell on them. They have nothing to do with us. He's going to have to get over Mary because she's never going to be who he wants her to be. She's too in love with and committed to Francis and their marriage. "We are discussing your lack of kissing skills. The other departments are in fine working order - once we get past the bit about neither of us really wanting to be with the other - and I do plan to enjoy them. Though I do plan on you exclaiming my name or none in the future - your father managed to never use your mother's name when he was with me. But for you to truly be a court lady's man, you need to work on the kissing. After all, it's the first way any woman you woo gets to know you."

"You're going to teach me how to kiss?" He looks skeptical.

"I have it on good authority that I know exactly how to work my lips and tongue," I shoot back.

"I don't think I want to know who, what or when you had that conversation," he chuckles.

"Oh, it wasn't just your father," I laugh. "I kissed boys in Scotland - and learned to take care of my needs - and I've kissed other men here as well. After all, Henry was trying to find me a husband before he came up with this marvelous plan to marry us instead. I was still chaste when I met Henry, but I knew the ways of pleasure already, and need."

"And you've been told you are a good kisser?" he smirks.

"By multiple men and boys," I nod. "Ewan was the first boy I kissed, and he taught me a good deal. Then Robert and Liam..."

"I really don't need a list of everyone," he stops me.

"Fine," I hrumph. "But the most important thing is that you become a better kisser. You need to relax your mouth. Don't just pucker and smush your lips onto a woman and then push inside with your tongue. And lips are lips, not the area between your lips and nose. It's like flirting; soft, hard, seduce the other person's lips. Make them want more. Then go hard and consuming. There are so many different ways to kiss and I'm going to make sure you know how to do them all!"

"So, you're going to teach me how to properly kiss a woman?" he chortles, shaking his head, a little smile beginning to pull at the side of his mouth.

"I am," I grin. "And I promise you'll thank me for it. As will the next woman you kiss. Really, you couldn't ask for a better wife than me. Could you?"

FIN

Endnotes:

1) Thank you to my beta justcallmesmitty for the great feedback and pushing me here. Much better now than it was when I gave it to you the first time.
2) I firmly believe Kenna & Bash are going to be wed in this week's episode, because Henry forces them to wed. I'm also super excited about their future. Obviously, that makes for a not exactly ideal beginning to their marriage. This is my concept of how they might begin to form an alliance and try to make a go of things. I know other pals of mine have differing ideas of how KB will go, this is just my offering of how it might.
3) Thank you to Tessa/frarys for the icon and banner for this story.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, I just like to play.

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