A/N: Hey everyone! How are you all?

Okay, so I got introduced to this group of really awesome fanfiction writers/readers on Facebook. Let me tell you, they are all amazing writers and even better people. Just thought I'd share that with you :3

Anyway, I decided to write another Laven fic. On the two hour long bus ride home from school. What a surprise XD

You all know the drill: this is a human/high school AU. That means no Akuma. This is also Laven, which means boy x boy. If you don't like either of these things, then you don't have to read this.

Thank you for clicking on this story and reading. I love you guys.

Disclaimer: Cari-chan does not own D. Gray-Man or any of its characters (though I wish I did). Cari-chan makes no profit off of this story.

Warnings: Some swearing, maybe some self-depreciating thoughts, and a pretty good dose of angst.

I hope you like reading this!

Lavi, plain and simple, was an emotional wreck.

Now, Lavi Bookman, smart as he was, was a relatively modest high school student. He made good grades and had tons of friends. He avoided drama at all costs, despite his major popularity, and rarely engaged in gossip. And he definitely kept his feelings in check.

Then Allen Walker came into his life.

The cute, shy freshman had unwittingly stolen his heart in hardly anytime after they met. Lavi hesitated to say that he was in love, but what he felt for Allen was more than a little crush. The redhead had been completely elated when Allen confessed to him after winter break and immediately engaged in a more romantic relationship.

But now, in late March, Lavi was beginning to regret it.

Why? Because Lavi was a boy. And so was Allen.

Lavi acted like his popularity was no big deal but he actually cared about it. A lot. And if other people found out that he was dating Allen Walker, he would be shunned instantly and without question. Not many students at the school were gay friendly. In fact, most of them were extremely homophobic and bigoted.

And even if Allen had been a girl, it still wouldn't have worked out. Allen was the school pariah, the demonic freak with white hair and red scar on his face. Of course, Lavi didn't mind his hair or his scar. Actually, Lavi rather enjoyed running his fingers through his boyfriend's snowy locks and tracing the star above his left eye. But no one except for Allen would ever know that, seeing as their relationship was a secret.

Lavi felt pretty bad about keeping everything under wraps, letting harsh comments about Allen slide and even laughing at them so that no one would suspect him. He valued Allen but Lavi wasn't ready to fork over his popularity for someone he had only been dating for three months.

Then there was the fact that Allen totally wasn't okay with Lavi being ashamed of them. Not that the freshman ever voiced it. God, no, Allen would do anything that Lavi wanted him to do, the junior just had to ask. Allen always said that he understood and that he was fine, so long as Lavi still wanted to be together everything was fine.

But Lavi knew that Allen was lying. He could see the sadness swimming in those beautiful mercury eyes every time that he insisted they meet in secret, every time that Lavi ignored him in the hallways, every time Lavi had to cancel their plans to meet up with friends, every time that Lavi told Allen that, no, they couldn't go out for dinner or movies because they could see people that he knew. Lavi knew that he broke Allen's heart every time, but Allen was too nice to complain.

And it never failed to make Lavi feel like he was the worst person on the face of the earth.

The shrill ring of the dismissal bell jarred Lavi from his thoughts. School was over already? Time seemed to fly by when one spaced out.

Sighing heavily, Lavi stood from his desk and made his way towards his locker. Today he had plans with Allen to rent a movie and snuggle up on the couch to watch it late into the Friday night. Lavi smiled at the thought.

"Lavi!" The redhead flinched as he heard his name called. No, dammit, please don't want anything. Me and Allen have been looking forward to this for way too long for me to blow him off!

"Hey, Lavi!" Lavi was semi-relived to see that Lenalee was the one that was approaching him. The sweet junior wouldn't press or suspect him if he said that he couldn't hang out with her tonight. "Um, can I, uh, talk to you?"

Lavi glanced at the clock. He had time before he was supposed to pick Allen up in the gym. "Sure, Lena Lady. What's up?"

"W-well," Lenalee stared down at her boots and — wait, was that a blush? "We've been good friends for awhile and I really like hanging out with you. So does everyone else but… I want to be more." The Chinese girl whispered out the last part.

"Lena…" Lavi felt dread piling up in his stomach.

"Lavi, I like you!" Lenalee all but shouted as she snapped her gaze up to meet his. "And… and I want to go out with you!"

Shit, was the only rational thought that went through Lavi's mind. "Lena, I…"

"Please Lavi!" Lenalee begged, tears forming in the corners of her eyes. "You aren't even dating anyone right now so it shouldn't matter anyway right? Just give me a chance!"

She just had to bring up that he wasn't dating anyone, didn't she. There was no reason to reject her now other than the fact that he had his eye on someone else but that would raise far too many questions. The only way to handle this without everyone thinking that he was a complete douche…

"Okay," Lavi forced a bright smile, the one handed grip on backpack becoming impossibly tight, "I'll go out with you, Lena Lady. It could be fun!" Bile rose to his throat.

"Really?" Lenalee's tears vanished and she flung herself at Lavi in a huge hug. "Thank you thank you thank you!"

It was so different than what Allen had done when he said yes, Lavi thought absently as he hugged Lenalee back. Allen's face had become dusted with red until Lavi had pecked him on the forehead. Then all Lavi could see was a tomato with white hair.

That moment had been far more intimate than feeling Lenalee flushed up against him and students clapping around them.

.:*~*:..:*~*:..:*~*:..:*~*:.

Allen sat silently on the wooden gym benches as he waited in the locker room for Lavi. His boyfriend had been promising that they would rent a movie and stay up through the night for the last two weeks and Allen was really looking forward to it.

But school had ended half an hour ago. Lavi hadn't shown up. Not even a text. Just… nothing.

Allen supposed that he should have known better than to hope for anything more. Lavi's friends probably wanted to hang out again and Lavi couldn't just say no because if anyone found out about them… well, Allen honesty couldn't care less about himself. But Lavi… no, Lavi didn't deserve to be dragged down with him.

You're the one that signed up for a dysfunctional relationship, a sinister little voice whispered. Allen sighed. He couldn't quite deny the statement no matter how much that he wished that he could.

Standing up, Allen grabbed his backpack. There was no point in waiting for Lavi right now. Lavi was gone.

.:*~*:..:*~*:..:*~*:..:*~*:.

Lavi really hated himself right now. Not only had he completely abandoned Allen in the gym but now he was going on a date. With Lenalee. In Allen's favorite restaurant.

"So what are you going to get?" Lenalee asked, swinging her legs back and forth, smiling.

"Dunno," Lavi glanced over the menu. Whenever Allen ordered takeout, he always got Lavi yakiniku and himself dango, but it just felt… wrong to get his and Allen's special meal with someone else.

"I think I'm going to just get the sushi plate," Lenalee chirped. Her voice was so different from Allen's, more like a chick opposed to Allen's running water. "Do you maybe wanna split it?"

Shit.

"Sure," Lavi forced a laugh. "Anything for the princess."

Lenalee giggled into her hands. Lavi liked Allen's laugh better.

"So what do you wanna do after this?" Lenalee smiled, giggles subsiding. "We could try to go and see a movie if you want to."

No was on the tip of Lavi's tongue. But he couldn't say anything. He couldn't just give up his popularity. But what about Allen? He probably felt horrible.

But popularity.

But Allen.

"Eh," Lavi realized that he needed to give a response, "uh, I, um, I gotta get home after this." A lie. He was going to run over to Allen's house and beg for forgiveness. Maybe still try to rent that movie and cuddle.

Lenalee pouted. "But we're having so much fun!"

Bullshit. Complete and utter bullshit.

"I know, but Gramps wants me home as soon as we finish," Lavi tried his best to look disappointed. "Don't worry, we can always pick it up later."

"Right," Lenalee nodded. "There's always the second date!"

Thump!

Everyone in the little restaurant turned to face the sound of the noise. Some people were simply curious as to who had dropped what. Some were pissed off at being interrupted, like Lenalee. But only two people felt ready to sob and puke.

Allen froze before he bent over to pick up his fallen takeout. No one else seemed to notice it, but Lavi could see Allen's hands begin to shake.

Allen had heard. Allen knew that he was dating Lenalee now.

Triple shit.

"Isn't that Allen Walker?" Lenalee asked, turning back to Lavi as Allen all but fled down the street.

"Yeah…" Lavi gulped, "yeah it was."

Lenalee hummed noncommittally. "Okay. Wonder what that was about."

Lavi. It was about Lavi crushing his heart to pieces.

Lavi was sure that Lenalee kept talking but all he could do was robotically nod and eat his food.

If he was keeping the popularity that he wanted so badly, then why did he feel so broken?

.:*~*:..:*~*:..:*~*:..:*~*:.

Allen had never felt so horrible since Mana had died. The freshman was curled up in a feeble position on his bed, music blasting from his computer in order to drown out the world.

Allen wiped away a stray tear, biting his lip and hugging his knees to his chest. He knew that he shouldn't have expected anything less. He should have known that his relationship with Lavi wouldn't last. He should have known that Lavi didn't care about him enough to stand up to anyone who insulted him. He should have known that it would end in heartbreak — his heartbreak.

But he was stupid enough to hope and to trust. He was so stupid.

Allen could still feel the wet streaks on his face even though he wasn't crying anymore. He probably looked like a complete wreck; hair and clothes disheveled, eyes bright red and full of tears. He just couldn't bring himself to care. He just felt… a lot of things. Lost, betrayed, humiliated, inferior, and shattered.

Slowly, Allen stretched himself out so that he was lying on his bed face up, staring at the ceiling. He was going to go crazy if he kept sobbing and feeling sorry for himself. He needed to move forward.

Lavi had definitely seen him in the restaurant, so confrontation was unavoidable. Either Lavi was going to approach him about it or Allen sure as hell would.

What would he do after that? If this was a cliché movie, Allen would forgive Lavi and they would live happily ever after once they got out of high school. However, life wasn't a cliché movie, so Allen went with the next best option.

He would have to break up.

Allen really wished that he didn't have to. That they could continue and go on like they always did. And they could. But Allen didn't want that. He was tired of the heartache that came with being ashamed of by his boyfriend, with Lavi dating other people. Just… everything. Cutting it off now would hurt but it would save him a lot of pain down the road.

But when to do it? How to say? When others weren't around would be preferable. Allen didn't quite know how to phrase it, but he knew that he would get his point across either way.

He and Lavi… they were done.

.:*~*:..:*~*:..:*~*:..:*~*:.

Lavi raced to Allen's house as soon as Lenalee was out of sight.

This was not good. Not good not good not good. Lavi would be lucky if Allen even considered staying together with him. Hell, Lavi would be lucky if Allen decided that he didn't completely hate him. And no matter what happened, Lavi knew that he and Lenalee would not be a thing after tomorrow. She was great as a friend but Lavi didn't think that he would be able to willingly stay in a long-term relationship with her, regardless of Allen.

Spotting his boyfriend's address, Lavi sprinted up to the door and banged on it.

"Allen!" Lavi yelled. "Hey, we need to talk!"

No response.

Lavi resumed pounding on the wooden door. Now that he wasn't running like hell was at his heels, he could hear music playing pretty loudly even from outside.

Lavi felt his shoulders drop, hand lowering from the abused door. Either Allen was ignoring him or he couldn't hear him. Or he wasn't even home. All seemed equally likely.

And if Allen had answered the door, what would have Lavi told him anyways? That he was so sorry, please take him back? No, that was a pathetic excuse for an apology after what he had done.

Lavi needed a better plan. Something that would redeem himself to Allen, something that showed exactly how horrible he felt.

Lavi squared his shoulders back. He needed to repent and he would be damned if he at least didn't get Allen to forgive him.

.:*~*:..:*~*:..:*~*:..:*~*:.

At exactly 11:53 at night, Allen received a text.

Allen reached for his phone. It was from none other than Lavi. Allen stared at the text. It was grammatically perfect with absolutely no spelling errors. Quite rare from Lavi.

Allen, I know that you totally hate me right now and you are totally within your rights. I was a total bastard. Still am. But I at least wanna try to make it up to you, even if it could never make what I did better. Just come over to my place and you'll see what I mean.

~Lavi

Figures that he wanted to try to do something so that he would be forgiven. He would humor Lavi but he was going to let the junior know that they were over.

Putting on his hoodie, Allen headed out into the cool March night. He had to admit, he was pretty curious as to what Lavi had planned for him. A bouquet of roses? Chocolates? Somehow Allen doubted that. A knick-knack of sorts? Not likely. The promise to break up with Lenalee? Possibly, but it still wouldn't change anything.

Allen rounded the corner and walked down Lavi's street. He was expecting several things. Maybe Lavi standing in the driveway or on the doorstep. Maybe finding the street silent. Something along those lines.

What he had not been expecting was a huge group of students standing in front of Lavi's house.

Allen's first reaction was to shrink in on himself. Why were there so many people? Was Lavi having a party? Was this just a part of a huge plan to further humiliate Allen? And wait, was that someone on the roof?

"Hey everyone!" Allen could hear Lavi's voice, blaring from two huge speakers that were situated on either side of him. On top of the roof. On the roof. "Can you all hear me?"

A roar from the crowd that made Allen flinch was the answer.

"Awesome," Allen could see Lavi grin even from far away, "so, a lot of you are probably wondering why I called you here at midnight on Friday. Or Saturday, since it's morning right now. Whatever."

A few laughs rolled through the audience.

"Okay, so I made a huge mistake," Lavi began. "I acted like a total douche. A bastard. Hell, those words don't even come close to how horrible I was being. Point is, I was treating someone that is really important to me like they weren't worth the time of day."

Almost everyone was silent at that moment, absorbing every word that Lavi spoke. Allen couldn't help but watch, trying to stomp out the hope that surfaced.

"So this person," Lavi continued, "I was in a relationship with them. They were awesome. Probably the nicest person that I've ever met. Always putting me first, making sure that I was happy. Problem was, those were my priorities, too. I put myself before them, made it seem like my happiness was more important than theirs. And because of that I really hurt them. Pretty much everyday, I think — no, I'm sure. Anyways, that's why I made what was probably the worst decision I have ever made in my life earlier today. Or yesterday. Whichever.

"Is Lenalee here?" Lavi called out. Allen heard a shriek somewhere to his right, obviously from Lenalee who was delighted at being called out. Allen was glad that he hadn't let the hope take flight. Lavi was going to apologize to his girlfriend for even thinking of dating Allen.

"Okay, Lena," Lavi went on, "I'm so, so sorry, but this thing between us isn't going to work." Allen's eyes widened. Hope began to flutter in his chest once again. "You're a great person and I'm sure that you'll find someone just as amazing to love you back just as much. It's just… that amazing person isn't me."

Dead silence.

"I really am sorry," Lavi said. "I still wanna be friends with you because you're awesome, Lena Lady, but a romantic relationship is not something that I want with you.

"Going back to what I was saying before, this awesome person that I was in a relationship with. We kept it a secret because I was afraid. I'll admit. I'm a woos. A coward. Any other synonym that you can come up with that describes how I've been acting for the last three months. I was afraid because they weren't popular. They weren't 'pretty.' And…" Allen could faintly hear Lavi gulp from the speakers. "And they weren't a girl."

That got everyone talking. Allen just stood there, staring in utter shock and disbelief. This… this wasn't really happening, was it?

"Yeah, I'm gay," Lavi spoke over the crowd. "I like boys. So what? Judge all you want, I don't give a damn 'cause if you can't accept me, then you obviously aren't worth my time. Unfortunately, I didn't figure out that I didn't care until after all this shit went down."

Allen could see some people leaving with looks that ranged from disgust (most from the jocks) to devastation (all of which were from girls), others were staring in awe, and a surprising amount of people were cheering Lavi on.

"Okay, so that's only half of it," Lavi started to talk again after everyone settled down. "I'm pretty sure that even if he wasn't a girl we still wouldn't exactly be accepted with open arms. Now, a lot of you guys probably know who I was dating. Hell, I'd be more surprised if you didn't. But that isn't the point. The point is that I was ashamed of this awesome person for no reason other than his gender and his social status. I was afraid because I thought that my friends would turn their backs on me. But I shouldn't be ashamed and I'm not because he hasn't done anything to deserve it. And I definitely shouldn't be afraid of my friends rejecting me because if any of you really are my friends, you won't just leave me high and dry.

"So," Lavi paused for a moment, "I guess that I've been building up enough suspense now about who I'm talking about. All I ask is that you don't judge. And if you do, then you can get the hell off of my lawn, as crotchety as it may sound."

Another wave of laughter came from the expectant crowd.

"Okay, um," Lavi tugged at his shirt collar, "you guys have no idea how nervous I am right now. Like seriously, I feel like I'm gonna piss my pants or slip and fall any second now."

"Quit stalling! Get on with it!" Allen heard someone yell. It sounded like Daisya, one of the school's best soccer players.

"Right," Lavi gulped. "Would a certain Allen Walker please come over here?"

Allen didn't move for a moment. Then he picked up one fit and put it in front of him. Then another. And another. Before he knew it, Allen was standing in front of Lavi's house with his craned up towards the sky.

"Allen," Lavi's voice sounded like a mixture of relief and nervousness. "Oh god, I am so sorry. I know that I don't deserve you at all. That I'm being totally selfish by asking you to come back to me. You don't have to take me back. Hell, I probably wouldn't if I were you but I'm at least gonna try. And let me tell you right now, if you do wanna get back together, then I swear that I won't call for a rain check just so my friends won't ask where I'm going, I'm gonna tell them that I have a date with my amazing boyfriend and they can go fuck themselves if that's a problem. I'm not gonna try to keep everything about us a secret because you are way too awesome for me to keep you all to myself, no matter how much I wish that I could. I won't even think about going out with someone else except you ever again because I am way too scared of losing you to even consider it. And I swear by heaven and hell that I'm gonna start putting you first and start caring about you, even though I should have done it right from the start. So… please, please, please let me be the Romeo to your Juliet, the Seto to your Mary, the love in your life and all that jazz."

"L-lavi…" Allen lost his voice for a second. He had told himself that he wouldn't take Lavi back because their relationship was going around in circles but this…

"Wait a sec," Allen heard Lavi say. Then the redhead was standing in front of him, hand grasping at the handrail to steady himself.

"Lavi!" Allen rushed towards the junior. "You just jumped from the roof, you idiot!"

"Meh," Lavi grinned, "it was worth it."

Both stood there for a moment, neither of them moving.

"So, uh," Lavi reached to rub the back of his neck, "what do ya say?"

Allen stared. Then he smiled. "For some reason I can't seem to find a way to say no."

"So… are we together again?" Lavi asked hesitantly.

Allen laughed. "What do you think?"

Lavi grinned and picked Allen up in his arms, spinning the shorter boy around him.

"Oh just kiss already!" Allen heard someone yell. Soon, everyone around them was chanting, "Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!"

Lavi's eye twinkled. "Well, should we give our adoring fans what they want?"

Allen leaned forward slightly, rising on the tip of his toes. "Of course."

And when their lips met, Allen knew that their relationship had changed. And it was definitely for the better.

A/N: Oh my god, Lavi has so much dialogue that is isn't even funny.

The ending... I am honestly disappointed in myself. There are so many other better things that I probably could have done but I suck at endings and this was the best and just — ugh.

This idea literally hit me out of nowhere so I decided to write it because why not? Maybe this can be like an unofficial prequel to Loud and Proud. Maybe. Who knows? Take this as you will.

Well, I hope that you all liked reading this (even if the ending was just... no). Please review and favorite! Follow too if you want, but this is a one-shot... whatever floats your boat I guess. It's the thought that counts :D

Thank you all so much. Until next time,

~Cari-chan