Chapter 33

The night before...

Schehera opened her eyes, it was still the middle of the night however the moonlight shone brightly through her bedroom window. She hadn't slept in this bed for years and had forgot how comfortable it was. As she tried to sit up, a weight on the edge of the bed pinned her beneath her bed covers, she looked over to see Kouen asleep at the end with his head rested upon his arms.

What was he doing here? Schehera asked herself. "Kouen," she said quietly and gently shaking his shoulder. There was no response. "You Chinless baboon, you can't sleep like that. You'll catch a cold."

Kouen stired under her touch, without a word he began to make his way onto the bed. Schehera jumped back in surprise only to have the crown prince crawl over her body and settled himself under the covers beside her. Go back to your own room! Schehera first instinct was to yell at him, but she didn't. Tonight at the very least she didn't want to be alone, and he somehow knew that.

Why was that? she asked herself. Whenever she needed someone to comfort her, anyone really, he was there. He always found her no matter where she hid in the imperial gardens of Kou. It wasn't just Ward who dried her tears, although in Kouen's case they were simply forgotten due to rage. He would look so much younger without the goatee or the constant frowning.

"Go to sleep," he told her with his eyes still closed. "You look like death walking."

Schehera chuckled, lying back down she rested her head against his shoulder before closing her eyes. "Thank you," she whispered.

XXX

Lawrence sat alone in the kitchen on the workbench with a glass of whiskey in one hand, the bottle was a gift from Ward for his birthday. It felt appropriate to drink now.

"May I join you?" a voice asked, Lawrence looked up to see Joel standing by the door, he'd bathed and changed out of his travel worn clothes, his hair still damp from the wash.

"Be my guest," Lawrence replied indicating to an open space on the tabletop opposite to him. Joel found himself a glass and poured himself a drink, he leaned against the kitchen counter and took a good look at his friend. For the first time in a long time he saw that Lawrence did not have his trademark smile, he hadn't gotten changed yet and looked disheveled in contrast to his usual put together image.

"You okay? You look like you've been chewed out," Joel commented. Lawrence just shrugged in response. There was a long paused as they sipped their drinks.

"Did you go down to the morgue to see your brother?" Lawrence finally asked.

"No, I thought it best for the princess to have her emotional breakdown on her own," Joel jokingly replied. He took another sip of his drink before continuing in a more serious tone. "I can't bring myself to see him," he admitted. "I still don't believe it really. How is he dead? How are they both gone? Holy shit you're very pregnant!" Lawrence looked up and followed Joel's line of sight to Christina who stood with a shawl wrapped around her shoulders to ward off the cold.

"You're very observant," she replied dryly. Lawrence kept his head down and did not look at her, still fresh from their earlier encounter.

"You're not the first man to fall in love with her." Christina had told him outside the princess's quarters.

Chris-"

"You won't be the last. However, Lawrence, your love can only ever remain one sided. She must never know. If you truly wish to remain by her side, say nothing, do nothing. She is royalty, her country may be gone, she may bear a different title, but her blood is as pure as they come. A ruler lives for their people, their vassals They live a life of wealth and privilege that no one else can afford but the life they lead is a cold and lonely one. A princess is not a woman for you to pine over, she is the embodiment of a nation. Remember this Lawrence."

"Have you given this speech to the others? Cho-sun? Joel?" Lawrence asked calmly, however below the disinterested exterior his temper boiled.

"The others do not need to hear it, you do. Cho-sun was trained and raised as a courtesan, even if she holds the rank of consort now, she understands her position. Joel worships the princess as if she were a deity, there is no desire in his eyes, only devotion and faith. You on the other hand, I always knew this would a problem from when you were a boy. You've watched her grow, you've seen more than you should."

What exactly? What have I seen? What secret have I discovered?" Lawrence demanded.

"That the princess is just a girl. You've felt her temper, seem her smile, comforted her tears. There is no illusion in your eyes. The princess is a woman, but she is one who carries the weight of a nation on her shoulders. She is chained down and weighed down by the responsibilities that she never asked for, that she was born into. She has tried to run from it in the past but no more, she won't run anymore. Not if she wishes to protect what she still has, the only way for her to do so is to assume her rightful place." Christina told him as gently as she could. She was trying to be kind in her warning but all Lawrence heard was pity. "Ward and Charon are no longer here to pick up the pieces."

"So it's fine for Prince Kouen then but not me?"

"The crown prince is just as trapped as the princess is, they are the same."

"Royalty?"

"Yes, they are not human," said Christina.

"But she is," Lawrence pointed out.

"Yes, but not to you. Not to the likes of us." Christina smiled sadly. "The crown prince is simply fortunate is all."

"Did you not just say he was as trapped as the princess?"

"Yes, but among those restrictions he has found true love. One that is within his grasp, one that no one will oppose, one that will benefit his position and hers. He is simply a lucky fool who has fallen in love with the right woman."

"Drink?" Lawrence offered the red head who only raised an eyebrow in response. "One won't hurt the baby."

"I'm good," she replied gently stroking her swollen stomach.

"That's my niece or nephew in their," Joel remarked, still stunned at the thought. "Hi?" he waved.

"You're tired and making no sense," Christina told him. "Go to bed, we've set up a room for you in the soldier's quarters."

"Not the guest?" Lawrence questioned. Joel glared at him.

"I'm staying," he said firmly.

"Are you now?" Lawrence hopped off the bench, he tipped his head back to finish the last of his drink. "I'm off to bed," he set the glass on the table. "Good night, the both of you," Lawrence said planting a kiss on Christina's cheek before leaving.

"You too dear," she replied.

"He's a strange one. There's always been something off about him," said Joel as he watched Lawrence leave.

"He's struggles to interact and relate with others, there's nothing strange about him compared to the next person. We're all different, that's all," Christina replied. "You have your own quirks do you not?" she asked him.

"I suppose."

"You have quite the poker face you know," said Christina "Ward was like that as well, his facial expressions never betrayed him. Although while he looked perpetually grumpy you have more of a nonchalant air to you, you constantly look indifferent and disinterested."

"I-I do? I never realised." Joel felt his cheeks flush, whether or not he looked it was another story.

"I think being as pretty as you are helps as well," she added with a smile. "Almost elf like."

"You flatter me your grace, but as a solider I don't think those are quite the words one would like to hear," Joel replied.

"True," Christina chuckled. "The point is despite your appearances you're not indifferent, you're as sulky and emotional as the rest of us. The same with Lawrence, his smile may never seem genuine and I too admit that he does give off a dangerous vibe despite how seemingly nice he appears. You can't help but suspect that there's something, he has a kind face yet it's not all together trustworthy."

"You're not helping his cause much you know," Joel pointed out.

XXX

A bored Prince Kouha rummaged through his brother's things to searched for the sweets Koumei had no doubt packed for Schehera as a gift. Schehera was always generous with the young prince so no doubt she wouldn't mind if a handful went missing. At least that was what he told himself. When he finally found the box he saw his brother pack he was surprised by its weight, Koumei must have cramped a lot of sugared goods in this tiny box. However when he opened it to find a large sapphire ring surrounded by diamonds instead he was disappointed, he tossed the box aside to keep looking.