Chapter 4

Fast forward

I had come to terms with the fact that I was pregnant, but I didn't have the intentions of keeping the baby entirely. Part of me wanted to get an abortion or put her/him up for adoption, but I couldn't make that decision until Toby got back, which was in one day!

It sucked that I had to start school the day before he got back, though. I felt like everybody was looking at me. Did they notice? Was I already getting fatter? I couldn't help but feel insecure about it. I knew I wasn't ready to parent a kid, and I knew Toby wouldn't be thrilled by the thought, either.

"Spencer, how are you holding up?" Aria asked, tapping my shoulder lightly.

"Well, it's not too bad," I answered, shrugging my shoulders. "At least we have first period together. But you know, Meredith is the teacher."

"History first period with Meredith, huh? I don't think I can get used to calling that skank Ms. Sorenson after what she did to my family," Aria said, crossing her arms. "But actually, classes aren't what I was talking about. I meant the... you know thing..."

My face dropped when she said that. I felt like people were always listening to me, and would jump to conclusions and judgments by what they heard. What if rumors spread? What if the truth spread out?

"Aria," I said in a warning tone. "Please, don't do this to me. I don't want to talk about that stuff out here." My voice changed to a whisper, "I can't let people hear about it, okay?"

She nodded her head and apologized weakly.

"Hey!" Hanna exclaimed, walking up to us with her arm around Emily. "Wait, don't tell me that you guys have Ms. Sorenson first period! No way! Do we have first period together or what? Emily has her, too."

"We do," I said with a smile. "This is great!"

"Yeah, except I don't want this freaking teacher," Aria complained, sighing and staring at the floor.

Hanna didn't seem to understand why, because she asked, "Why are you hating on her already? We haven't even got into class yet. Maybe she's super nice or something!"

"Hanna, the teacher isn't just any Ms. Sorenson," Aria said, sighing. "It's Meredith, as in the one I caught my dad locking lips with. The one that drove my parents to separation."

"Oh damn!" Hanna cried, her eyes widening. "This sucks, doesn't it? We have to come to first period every day with her, and I'm pretty sure she hates you, and all of us because we're your friends."

"We'll just have to grin it and bear it," Emily said. "Come on, Han. Let's get seats next to each other in class." They giggled and walked inside of the classroom together.

"Is it just me, or do they seem like they're besties now?" Aria asked, furrowing her eyebrows. "It's always been all four of us together! I love you, Spencer, but don't you feel like it's becoming a separate group? Hanna and Emily, and then you and I?"

I nodded my head and answered, "Trust me, I've noticed their closeness, too. But maybe it's because you and I are too wrapped up in what's going on in our lives that we've kind of been pushing them away. I'd like to involve them more, but I have to focus on my life right now. Toby's coming back tomorrow, and I'm scared!"

"Don't sweat it," Aria coaxed. "You guys always figure it out, and I'm sure you'll figure this out, too. He loves you, and you love him, so it'll work itself out. We better get into Meredith's class before she automatically fails us for the year because she hates our guts."

The second day of school finished, and that was the day Toby was returning. I was so excited, yet so scared. I got ready, and Aria drove with me to the airport. Hanna and Emily claimed they were too busy to come along, so they didn't come. I was surprised because Emily and Toby were good friends, so I thought she would want to see him when he came back.

My phone started ringing when we arrived outside the airport. It was Toby, so I answered the call, my heart racing. I couldn't wait to see his face again. It felt like it had been ages since I had last seen him! I missed him so much.

"Spencer! I landed a little while ago, and I got my bags from the baggage claim," he explained. "I'm on my way to the parking lot. Where can I meet with you?"

"Aria and I are at the front of the airport," I explained. "You better hurry, Mister. I need to see you again."

"Will do," he agreed happily. "I'm walking outside right now. I see your beautiful face! You look amazing as usual, Spence. I can't wait to be with you again."

"I see you, too!" I exclaimed. "You look extremely handsome for a guy who just got off of an airplane, you know."

"I can't talk to you on the phone anymore because I would much rather do it in person," Toby said, and I could see him grinning from the distance. "Hearing your voice without the static of the phone is going to be amazing."

"I'm wearing your favorite perfume, too," I said, biting my lip.

"Oh man, I'd almost forgotten that perfect scent," he said. "I've got to say goodbye, though, because I have a beautiful girl that I need to hug really tight. This may be rejection to you, because I'm going to hold that girl tight and never let go."

I put the phone down as soon as I saw him approaching.

"There's Aria, the girl I'm going to never let go!" Toby joked, and then grinned at me. "Oh my god, Spencer, you got more beautiful, didn't you?"

I blushed and said, "It's good to see you, Tobes."

"Welcome back, Mister Cavanaugh," Aria said, hugging him quickly. "How was your job?"

"It was okay, but I'd much rather be here with you guys," Toby said with a sweet smile. "I've missed you all. Are Hanna and Emily here?"

"No, they said they were busy," Aria explained.

"That's a shame," Toby said, and we nodded. "Why don't we get back? I can tell you guys all about it later. I'd just really like to relax for a bit."

We drove back to my place, and then went inside. The three of us talked about Toby's trip, as well as what was going on in our lives while he was gone. Oh, and we talked about all of this over coffee.

As Aria finished a story about when she was younger, Toby's arm wrapped around me, toying with the hem of my shirt. I swallowed hard, and glanced at Aria awkwardly.

"Um... Aria, do you think that I could talk to Spencer alone?" Toby asked.

Aria was confused for a moment before she smirked and said, "Ohh... I get what's going on. Don't have too much fun, kids." She winked at me before walking outside.

She left my house, but I kind of wish she hadn't. As soon as she was gone, Toby leaned in to kiss me. His hands started undoing the buttons on my shirt, and soon we were making out on the couch. He guided my top away from my body, and dominated me on top of the couch, his hands running all over my body.

He started to hold my waist, toying with my jeans. I pulled back from the kissing, feeling uncomfortable. I was usually up for it with Toby. We had gotten really comfortable with each other when having sex, but that horrible feeling inside of me was killing me. I was pregnant, and he didn't know about it. How could I have sex with him when I knew that?

"Spencer, what's wrong?" he asked, stroking my waist gently.

"Nothing," I lied, turning away.

I could tell he felt slightly rejected, and I felt bad, but I couldn't do anything about it. I really wasn't in the mood to go further with him when I had to sit on a secret of that size. Toby put his arm around me and scooted closer again. He pecked my cheek.

"Did something happen while I was away?" Toby asked, raising his eyebrows. "You know you can tell me, right? I'm not a stranger. I trust you, and you trust me."

"I know, but nothing happened!" I yelled, folding my arms. "I want to be alone tonight, Toby. Can you respect that?"

He bit his lip and nodded. I could see the hurt in his eyes, and it killed me.

"All right," he said emotionlessly. "I'll see you around."

That felt like a goodbye to me for some reason, and I meant a permanent goodbye. But I didn't want it to be permanent. As he was walking to the door, I raced towards him and kissed him passionately, just to let him know that I still loved him.

"I just need some time to be alone, okay?" I asked.

"Okay," he responded, nodding.

The next day, I finished school and went to Aria's place to hang out. I noticed she was down. She knew why I was down, but I didn't know why she was. Maybe I had been putting all the attention on myself! I knew I needed to start caring about her problems, too. It wasn't all about me all the time.

"Aria," I said, sitting down next to her on the couch. "What's wrong? I know you've been upset lately. Let's not talk about me anymore. Let's talk about you and what's going on."

"Nothing's been going on," she said.

Denial. I should have expected that! I did it to Toby the night before when he was asking me what was wrong. It was a common move when being confronted by anybody.

"Talk to me," I pleaded.

"Okay, fine," she gave in. "I'm just confused about guys."

"Wait, are you gay?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

"What?" she choked. "No, Spencer! It's about a guy. There's this guy I sort of hooked up with last year, and then he left, and now he's back in Rosewood and it's weird for me."

"You hooked up with a guy?" I asked.

"Don't act like its weird... you hooked up with Toby last night, and many nights apparently," Aria said, folding her arms. "I didn't want to be judged."

"No, I wasn't judging you! But if I was, the argument that Toby's my boyfriend, and that guy was just somebody would come up," I said.

"Spencer, he wasn't a stranger to me. We met, instantly connected, and hooked up a few nights later," Aria explained. "Then, he left Rosewood for some reason, and now he's back! I just don't know what to do."

"Do you still like him?" I asked.

"I don't think I ever stopped," Aria responded.

"Then go for it!" I exclaimed. "Maybe he still likes you, too."

"Even if he did, it wouldn't matter..." Aria mumbled.

"Why not?" I asked.

"Because he's... he's our teacher," Aria confessed.

"What? Who?" I asked, shocked.

"His name's Ezra, but you might know him as Mr. Fitz," Aria explained.

"Our English teacher?" I choked.