Hey there! So I've had this idea running around my head for a while now and thought I'd unleash it upon the world. I was going to originally post it as a long one-shot, but then I thought I'd add to it so now it'll be a multi-chapter fic - how many chapters I'm not sure yet, all depending on how inspired I get. Haha. Anywho, I hope you like what you read :)

Alas, I don't own Arrow.

The moment Oliver Queen looked into Felicity Smoak's eyes, he knew he loved her. And not in that high-school-I-love-you kind of way, oh no; in the I-want-you-and-only-you-forever kind of way.

He was sixteen when she tumbled – literally – into his life, spinning his whole world and everything he had ever known upside-down.

Though he had used the library for more…exploratory things in his time, this particular day – a Wednesday to be exact, he was catching up on algebra homework. Contrary to popular belief and his overwhelming reputation, Oliver did actually care every now and again about his grades, and Mr Lynch had made it abundantly clear that if he didn't pass the next midterm, he'd fail the semester and would have to go to summer school. Even the thought of summer school made him shudder. So there he was in the library, pencil in hand, tapping out some rhythm on his page as he read and reread the equations from the book in front of him, when the double doors flung open and a petite girl with a mass of blonde hair hurtled through and spilled onto the ground in spectacular fashion.

The tiny, adorable shriek that escaped her lips in the split-second it took for her to lose balance, toss her books asunder, and fall to the floor caught his attention immediately, his pencil dropping with a thud onto his notepad.

Others around him lifted their heads in their study stupors long enough to take in the sight and some of them even had the nerve to laugh, but not one of them moved to help the girl.

Oliver, on the other hand, was over to her in a flash, his homework forgotten for the time being. Not normally the first one to help a student in need, he surprised even himself with how quickly he reacted to this complete stranger. Without a second thought, he gathered her books clumsily into his arms and angled them into his chest so he could offer her his hand.

And that's when it happened.

Her eyes met his; bright blue orbs that looked deep into his as if seeing right down into his soul, their clarity reassuring. Oliver gulped, feeling a fluttery sensation rush through his body.

The timidity with which she accepted his hand pulled a small smile from him, and to put her at ease, he pumped her hand twice once she had eventually given in and helped her to her feet. He tried not to notice how soft her skin was, or how perfectly their hands fit together, or how her glasses sat crookedly on her nose, or how her lips were the brightest shade of pink he had ever seen…but it was all a little too difficult. He'd never been so…taken by someone so quickly. Sure, he instantly knew when a girl was hot, but this girl, this girl, well she wasn't hot – she was beautiful. And that concept was completely alien to him.

"Thanks," she said tentatively, her voice exactly as light as he imagined. Licking her lips and pushing a blonde lock behind her ear, she moved to take her books from him but he pulled them away from her teasingly.

"I got 'em," he assured, lifting them up and down in illustration.

She smiled up at him and Oliver swore he felt his heart skip a beat.

"Wow, it's not every day that a hot guy helps me out and offers to carry my books–" she forcibly shook her head as if the action alone could reel her words back in, "- I didn't mean to comment on your…obvious handsomeness, I was just – I don't really know. I talk a lot. And I talk out loud a lot and I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable or make myself look like some kind of weirdo girl that can't…seem to stop…talking." Her face scrunched then, forming this utterly adorable expression and Oliver couldn't keep his grin at bay. "I'm gonna shut up now."

He laughed quietly, extending his hand out again. "Hi, I'm Oliver Queen."

She took it without much thought this time, her cheeks blushing. "As in multi-billionaire Oliver Queen?"

"That's a long first name," he joked. "But more like: Oliver Queen, son of multi-billionaires."

"Oh sorry, I didn't mean…Felicity Smoak." She ducked her head in embarrassment. "I'm sorry."

"You already said that, Felicity." He loved how her name just rolled off his tongue, as though he was always meant to say it. Oh boy he was in deep already. "Are you new because I don't remember seeing you around here before?" That was a prime opportunity for him to drop his 'Because I would have remembered seeing someone so beautiful' line, but he didn't want to demote a girl so captivating with something as stupidly expected and cliché as that. He already respected her too much for that.

She nodded, her hair falling over her shoulders with the movement. "Yeah; just transferred. I used to go to a private school in Coast City but my mom got a new job in Starling and apparently this is the best school in the city so…here I am. I actually came to the library to catch up on all the reading I have to do – you guys really have a tough workload, by the way – when well…" she made a flurry of hand movements that didn't really make much sense but he understood them nevertheless.

"Well let me formally welcome you to Greenwood Academy. Anything you want to know about this place, just ask me. I'm the expert on all things Greenwood. And, you're in luck. I happen to have the best seat in the library." He moved toward his table, readjusting her books in his arms so that her science book wasn't dangling dangerously from his hold.

"Actually," she interjected with a hand on his shoulder. She quickly yanked it away when she realized what she had done, and Oliver pretended not to notice the lingering heat her touch had left. "I prefer to study alone…" her eyes widened to the point of impossibility, "and I didn't mean for it to come out like that. You seem really nice and I don't want you to think that I'm ungrateful for your help and I'm sure you're a great study partner but—"

"Felicity," Oliver cut in with a chuckle, placing her books on his table. "I won't say a word – I promise."

He pulled out the chair and motioned for her to sit down. "Oh, well…thank you," she mumbled sheepishly, slinking onto the seat.

"You already said that, too," he remarked, leaning over her slightly. Her answering smile definitely made his heart do funny things.

He never did get his algebra homework finished.

It was a Wednesday when he saw her again.

He planned to grab a coffee before running through a bunch of paperwork in prep for a meeting later when there she stood like a vision in front of him, making his whole body slack.

"Felicity…"

It fell from his lips so naturally that it was as though he had never stopped saying it. It sounded harsher though; the lower, edgier tone making it seem as if it came from someone else. He furrowed his brow at the realization.

She was just as beautiful as he remembered – no, she was more beautiful. Her hair was a brighter shade of blonde than she used to sport, but she still had the skinny glasses and brightly painted lips that he loved so much. His heart swelled, feeling the same tingly buoyancy he had always felt around her. God, she was gorgeous. No matter what, Felicity Smoak somehow extinguished the fire of pressure and lightened his load in the simplest of ways and seeing her now, he suddenly felt lighter than he had in forever. Her mere presence soothed him in ways he never thought possible.

She angled her head to the side, casting a sideways glance, her whole body going still when she registered him. Her mouth opened; a whoosh of breath expelled his way.

"Oliver," she said back in the same tone of wonderment, his name sounding so musical and so right with her fluffy lilt.

Everything stopped.

Sure it was cliché, but nothing ever feels cliché when you're in the moment. It just consumes you to the point where it feels normal.

Everything disappeared into the background of his consciousness and all that remained was Felicity, his Felicity, right in front of him. The air thickened, a weird weight of unspoken thoughts and feelings pressing down on them.

And then their eyes locked.

And it was as if he was transported back to that eighteen-year-old boy that felt as though he could do anything as long as he had her. Love was something else, wasn't it? Her blue depths were open, honest, filled with so much emotion that he relearned a truth he had acknowledged a long time ago: he was desperately in love with Felicity Smoak.

"Hi."

He had hoped to say something more, something with a little more substance; a perfectly sculpted sentence that encompassed everything that he wanted to say, but words escaped him. That literally was the best he could do in the moment while his brain scrambled to grab hold of the situation. That's not to say that he didn't feel like a complete idiot though.

"Hi," she mimicked breathily, her eyes shining as she examined him. And then, with wary movement, she bridged the gap and wrung her arms around his neck, pulling him oh so gently into a hug. He wasn't entirely sure what was happening until his arms cautiously brushed around her body, not going so far as to press her into him but doing enough to feel the warmth of her skin through her clothes.

For a second, he closed his eyes and drank in her presence, finding solace in her familiarity. A single flare, a spark, shot through his core, somehow setting alight his otherwise dormant heart and the muscle thumped with purpose as if trying to show him that it was still there, still beating, urging him to hold on.

They'd always fit perfectly together; her head tucking snugly under his chin as his muscles enveloped her securely. This was new and old at the same time; the contrast not lost on him as she broke away awkwardly.

"You're here. Well obviously you're here, you're standing right in front of me plain as day but…" she trailed off, shaking her head imperceptibly, "you're here."

He knew what she meant.

He was here.

He was alive.

"Yeah," he managed to choke out, his throat constricting.

"I mean I knew you were…that you survived on an island and that you'd returned to Starling but…I just never thought I'd…" Oliver could count the times on one hand when Felicity had been at a loss for words and he shifted uncomfortably on his feet, hating the fact that he was the one causing it right then. He pretended not to notice how her eyes filled when she lookedat him. "You're okay?"

She posed it as a question that required an answer. She always did prefer the direct approach.

Oliver very rarely lied to Felicity in all their time together, and though so much of him wanted to sugarcoat the darkness that consumed him daily and spin something about growing and adjusting and how it was a work in progress but that he was really starting to feel more like the old Oliver, he just couldn't do it. Looking into her blues and finding rest in her affectionate expression made him feel…brave. Stronger, somehow. Only she had ever made him feel that way - like he was a better person, someone worthy of a woman like her, someone worthy in general. It was amazing how someone, a single soul, could draw out that sense in another person.

He swallowed hard, a strangled cough slipping out. "I, uh…I don't think you want to hear the answer to that," he replied lowly.

Her face fell, crestfallen. Her hands instinctively moved toward him but she reined them back, clasping them in front of her. "Oliver-"

"It's been a long time, Felicity." He hated how empty his voice was, how it betrayed him, how it exposed him as the broken man he was.

"7 years," she supplied after a short beat. "7…" she blew out a breath, "…really long years." There was something he had never heard in her tone before that caught him, his jaw tightening so much his teeth groaned.

"I…" What could he say? I'm sorry. Please don't hate me. I shouldn't have let you go. There wasn't a day on that island when I didn't think about you. I love you. "How long have you been back in Starling? I didn't know you were…that you were here."

Whatever he wanted to say, whatever he should have said, that wasn't it. Nervous, he rubbed his thumb between his fingers, a tick he had acquired in childhood.

She toyed with her bracelet, spinning it around her wrist distractedly. She used to do that a lot. "Only about a week. I was in Central City for a while working for a software firm but the boss was an ass and the pay was pretty terrible and my cubicle always smelled like fertilizer - and you didn't need to know any of that…" Her voice dropped to a whisper, pained, her eyes no longer looking his way, "especially now. Anyway, I, uh, have an interview at Queen's Consolidated as an IT consultant so if that goes well I could be based here permanently."

"At QC?" he echoed. "Great place to work." He went for teasing but it came off too flat, too forced. Why couldn't he just speak to her? There was so much to say and yet, there was nothing at all.

"So I've heard."

"I can put a good word in for you," he offered. "I know nobody knows computers like you do. And you could say that I have a little sway when it comes to who we hire."

She cocked her head to the side curiously. "We?"

He gave a short, perfunctory nod, gesturing to himself with a loose hand. "Oliver Queen, CEO."

"Oh, wow, I didn't know…that's great, Oliver. I know you used to talk about following in your father's footsteps all the time so I don't know why the thought never even crossed my mind; I guess I just never thought you'd actually do it." She slammed her eyes shut, biting her lower lip. "That's not what I meant! I just –"

His lips twitched. "It's okay - I never thought I'd do it either. I hated the idea of being CEO and I'm pretty sure I made that clear a number of times. But the family business needed my help and so, here I am."

"Here you are." Once again her eyes appraised him with a sense of awe as though she couldn't truly believe what she was seeing. But just as soon as the light was there, it was gone and she, as if jolting back to reality, shook her head and checked her watch hastily, "I'm running late for my interview so…" she stopped, gazing at him in confliction.

Please don't go. Not again.

"Of course. You have to go."

They locked stares; his words acting like a trigger and cutting through everything, echoing what he said the last time they saw one another, the memory evidently still fresh in both of their minds.

The blonde moved away, intent on leaving but Oliver reacted, reaching out to place his hand on her shoulder. The movement so natural, so familiar, startled them both and his thumb traced the line of her collarbone without him even realizing it. What was it they said about old habits? A flash of heat shot through his hand, setting his body on edge. "Felicity," he pleaded in that tone he reserved for her and only her.

She licked her lips. "What do you want to say, Oliver?"

He shook his head, exhaling sharply. "Can we, I don't know, have a coffee…just to – to talk?"

The offer ruminated in her eyes, obvious deliberation going on. Eventually she twisted her head to look at his hand resting on her shoulder and nodded a few times as if the action alone would convince her that she was doing the right thing. "Okay," she let out, the word a mere wisp into the dull drone of the everyday and he felt his heart pound stronger in triumph.

"Okay."

Finally, after what felt like forever, she smiled. It didn't reach her eyes and it didn't light up her whole face like he remembered but it still made him pause, his breath hitching in a way it hadn't in 7 years.

"Tomorrow? Here, at noon?"

The muscles in his face relaxed, the tiniest of grins forming when he replied, "I'll be here. I promise."

Felicity pulled away from his hold and with her head down, she moved past him. "Oliver," she said suddenly, turning back to face him. "I'm…it's so good to see you." And then she headed out of the shop.

Oliver, releasing a long sigh, prayed that maybe, just maybe, the powers that be were on his side in this twist of fate.

Fate seemingly had handed him a miracle – but what he planned to do with it, he wasn't exactly sure yet.

"You gonna tell me why you've been acting weird all day?"

Oliver rested both his elbows on his desk and buried his face in his hands, drained from the endless board meetings he'd been subjected to. Board meetings sucked the life out of him as it was, but since his mind was in a totally different place it was like they were trying to kill him with frustration. Not to mention Isabel was so irritating at times.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he said into his hands, enjoying the blotchy darkness.

"Come on, Oliver," Digg scorned with a sigh. "You've been distant since this morning and you looked like you were going to lose your head over Isabel earlier, so what gives?"

He dropped his hands and looked up at his partner. "Sometimes her sunny disposition grates on my nerves," he answered sardonically.

Diggle chuckled humourlessly, crossing his arms across his chest. He obviously wasn't going to let it go until he got something out of him. If Digg proved anything over the two years he and Oliver had been working together, it was that he was persistent. "I understand telling the truth is a luxury you don't indulge in often but how about you try it right now. Can't hurt, right?"

"Maybe I don't want to talk about it."

"Too bad," he retorted quickly. "Because we aren't going anywhere until you spill whatever's got you looking so spooked."

"Digg, I really-"

A swift hand came up to stop his excuse. "Seriously, man; now's not the time to close yourself off. I get that you have secrets – I mean, we all have things we keep to ourselves, right? But sometimes they're the things that rip us apart." He perched himself on the edge of the desk. "Usually you're much better at hiding whatever's going on in that head of yours but if whatever it is affects what we do for this city every night, then I think you owe it to me to explain."

Oliver, knowing that Diggle was right, let out an irritated grunt and ran a hand through his cropped hair. Felicity wasn't a subject he was comfortable talking about. Even after they were over he refused to mention her - even to Tommy or Thea. He just couldn't expose his pain. "I just…" he exhaled slowly, his jaw ticking. "I ran into someone from my past and it's thrown me…a little."

"A little?" The man scoffed incredulously. "So who is it?"

His thoughts drifted the sight of her in the coffee shop, and the way his whole body seemed to come alive as soon as he laid eyes on her. Truth be told, his thoughts had never been too far away from her, but he decided a long time ago to keep her in a completely separate part of mind; a place untouched by the darkness and shame that haunted him. Felicity was his beacon of light – always had been, even before the island – and she deserved to occupy an untainted place in his heart. But she was rarely off his mind.

Even now as he looked out at the sun hovering tauntingly over the horizon, waiting to slip away in a splash of colour, he couldn't help but wonder at what she was doing; what she was thinking; how her interview went. He ignored the shiver than crept through him at the mere idea of her working in the same building as him day in, day out.

"Felicity Smoak," he finally said, her name tripping off his tongue with such reverence. "We were together…before the island."

His friend narrowed his eyes accusingly. "But you took Sara Lance on the Gambit with you? And you were linked with Laurel at the time?" The judgement tone he adopted was pretty difficult to shrug off. It was no secret that Oliver went out of his way to build up a playboy image in the wake of their break-up and those last few months before the accident were like black spots in his past, spreading and staining everything good he had.

"It's…" What was it? "It's complicated." The heel of his hand worked into his forehead. "We broke up four months before I went on the Gambit. Felicity got a special scholarship that enabled her to attend any university of her choice in Europe." He sighed, pushing his chair back and making it screech against the floor. "And so she went to study abroad and our relationship just…ended." He swallowed hard, the threat of tears so very real. He wasn't a crier by any stretch of the imagination but even just thinking about the day they split made his throat ache. He'd never forget her face. Or her voice. Or her tears.

Or his.

Oliver stood and Diggle mirrored him, the curiosity practically radiating off him.

"She's the only girl I've ever loved. Really loved. I thought…" he trailed off, coughing a laugh, "I thought we'd get married. You know, live happily ever after in some mansion somewhere. I guess I was pretty idealistic back then." A melancholy smile swept over his face. "But Felicity…she was it for me. I never wanted anyone else."

"So why didn't you look for her when you returned?"

"Apart from the fact that I was a complete jerk to her the last time I saw her and the infamous reputation I racked up after she'd left, the Oliver she knew died on that island, Digg. The kid that got on that boat never came back. I'm not…I'm not the guy she was in love with. Not anymore. My life is…it's filled with darkness. Not to mention the fact that I'm the Hood; I'm the one going around shooting arrows at people and putting myself in danger every chance I get. She doesn't deserve to be around that. She deserves so much more."

The older man took a few steps toward him, his gaze unswerving. "Oliver I know you don't think you're worthy of being happy, that you've seen and done things that are unforgivable, but you're wrong. What you do for this city as the Hood is good, man. The sooner you start believing that, the better. And maybe right now you're not the guy for this Felicity girl, but that doesn't mean that you can't be the guy for her someday."

He ducked his head, his lips clamped together. He wanted nothing more than to believe that, he really did, but was there enough redemption in this world for him? Broken didn't even begin to describe him; he was barely even alive. Sure, being the Hood gave him a goal, gave him a purpose. And his mother and Thea offered occasional moments of reprieve. And Diggle was a true friend. But Tommy was dead, and Laurel hated him, and Sara was gone.

Frequently, Oliver floundered for meaning in his life, wondering what it was all about, wondering why he lived when others had to die, wondering what the hell he was supposed to do. Some days he was doing well and he felt as though maybe, just maybe, everything was looking up; other days he was slipping into an abyss of gloom. Was he supposed to feel pure happiness again? Was he allowed to get a second chance at life?

He wasn't sure.

Maybe.

"I'm meeting her for coffee tomorrow," he confessed quietly. "You know, to catch-up, talk things through."

Much to his dismay, Digg chuckled, clapping him on the shoulder. "Well I'd call that the first step, wouldn't you?"

Oliver rolled his eyes, clearing his throat. "We should head down to the foundry; we've got work to do."

"Whatever you say, boss."

He shot him a wry smile before they left the office, both of them ready to plunge into their other lives.

But maybe John was right.

Maybe he was doing the right thing.

If nothing else, meeting Felicity would at least offer him some kind of closure on that part of his life. Once he knew she was happy, that things worked out for her, that her life was good, then he could close that chapter and move on.

The only problem was that he knew he'd never move on from Felicity Smoak.

So the plan is to throw in flashbacks of their relationship into each chapter while also dealing with the present-day situation between them. I wanted to stick to canon as much as I possibly could in that Oliver did have a short relationship with Laurel after Felicity left and still took Sara on the Gambit with him. Hopefully I'll explore that part in flashbacks at some point...if you guys would like me to!

Anywho, I hope you guys liked what you read and you want to read more of it! Please drop me a review and let me know what you thought - likes, dislikes, comments - I'd love to hear what you think :)