Chapter Two

Odin sighed, "Your mother has the ability to… gather herself back together, after a time. She has been dead before, you know, once many thousands of years ago when she was first burnt as a witch, and once just after Thor was born."

Loki was mesmerized by his father's words, even more so than when the Allfather had sat with him and Thor as children on either side, and read to them from the ancients books in the evenings. He looked at Odin with eyes filled with wonder, amazed that his father could surprise him so thoroughly even now. He whispered, "Go on."

"After Thor was born, Freya and I were with the army, fighting against the Frost Giants on Jotenheim. She was pitched into a bottomless abyss by one of the lizard monsters and we all thought her dead and mourned her for a year. For that year, I thought that Thor was my only family."

Loki nodded. Somehow that fitted with the unusual bond between Odin and Thor. "I did not know that. Mother did not say anything."

"You were not with us then. And your mother would not have spoken of it."

"Go on," whispered Loki. But something deep inside him was singing a quiet song already. Freya was his real mother. And Thor… Thor was actually his half brother. For the first time since Loki had seen his hand turn blue and recover so quickly on Jotenheim, without frostburn, two years earlier, he felt a little more secure in himself. And Freya was his real mother.

Odin continued, "She had fallen so far that it took her a month to climb out. She had hit her head and been killed, and when she returned she did not look as she did before. However long it was, or how she died and came back…. we do not know. But what I do know, is that when she came to, she had no memory of me, or Thor, or Asgard, or in fact anything at all about herself. She climbed to the top of the abyss and collapsed, and that is where King Laufey and his men took her in. Laufey, did not know who she was. But he fell in love with her."

"Who wouldn't?" said Loki softly, and Odin smiled quickly through the pain in his eyes.

Odin went on doggedly, "Unbeknownst to me, he took her as his queen and they had a child."

"Me!" realized Loki.

"Yes, you," said Odin. "But then, one day, I had cause to visit Jotenheim about a border incursion by some of the younger Frost Giants, and when I was speaking with Laufey, Freya walked into the room…" Odin struggled to explain himself here. "They call me the All-seeing One, because I see everything, Loki. But I don't see everything… I see souls. I saw Freya's soul, and somehow she saw mine. We recognized each other.

"You can imagine the trouble that followed. Laufey was furious, and when I demanded to take Freya back with me he declared that I would never have her. She realized the danger to you and ran to get you, but Laufey saw where she was going and snatched you away. Freya begged me to get you back, and Heimdall brought the army across the Bifrost. We fought for days, and finally, to avoid his people being slaughtered, Laufey left you out on that frozen rock for me to collect, and he and his people retreated deep within the caves of Jotenheim."

Loki was staring at his father, his eyes wide with amazement, and Odin smiled kindly at him, "So you see, we fought a war over you, Loki, the first day I realized you existed. I lost many companions, and the Frost Giants fought like madmen and lost many of their best warriors too."

"You lost an eye."

"I did not want to lose Freya again." Odin looked down, "I was a madman that day."

"But Laufey hadn't done anything wrong." Loki looked sick to his stomach.

"Nobody had done anything wrong, Loki. Not your mother, not Laufey, not you."

"Nor you."

"I often wonder that. I don't know. Did I have the right to take you? It was only my desire to get Freya back that drove me to such violence that day. I was ruled by my passion for her, and I slaughtered the Frost Giants in droves and stole Laufey's son from him. Did I have that right?"

Odin fell silent for a long time, and Loki realized, "That is why you were so angry with Thor when he tried to fight the Frost Giants."

"Yes. And that is why when Laufey tried to kill me, when he had the chance."

"And I killed him."

"You did no wrong, Loki."

"So, nobody did wrong, but my very existence started a war. What am I, a creature of chaos?"

"No. Your existence was the result of an accident. But you should never doubt that you are loved. Your mother would have died for you that day, or any day since. If anything, the fault is mine, for my passion which drove a war, and for my shame in not telling you the full truth about your birth until now."

There was a long silence, then Loki said, "Why tell me now?"

"You need to know why I am searching for your mother, and why you must take the throne while I do. You need to know that you are loved. I did not understand that until I lost Freya this second time. The first time I lost her, I had Thor, and he loved me as only a child that has lost its mother can. This time I lost her and I also thought I had lost Thor, and you hated me. For the first time in my life, Loki, I felt what it is to be completely unloved. And it was only then, that I realized how you felt when I told you the half-truth about your adoption. It was only then that I realized what fertile ground I had plowed for the Chitauri to sow their seeds of hatred in your soul."

Loki was silent.

Odin stood up, and said, "This time I must find your mother as soon as she comes back to life. I cannot risk a repeat of the situation with Laufey. It would be too hard on all of us. I must look for her now, and the throne of Asgard must be seen to be strong. Only you can do that. If I left Thor on the throne it would be obvious to everyone that his heart was not in it. This way, Asgard will still have its king, you will have the throne you have always wanted, and I can look for your mother before it is too late."

"What makes you think I will give you back the throne when you return?" asked Loki.

"I trust you."

Loki stared at his father, "Then you must be mad with grief, Father."

"No, Loki. Your actions in saving Jane and helping Thor defeat Malaketh, even when you thought I had thrown you in the dungeons to rot, have proved your devotion to Asgard and Thor."

"I 'thought' you had thrown me in the dungeons to rot? You did a pretty good impression of throwing me in the dungeons to rot, Father."

"You think I put you in there for killing a few mortals? You think I would put my son in the dungeon for that?" Odin chuckled.

Loki tilted his head, "Then why?"

"The Chitauri. Did their leaders not swear to hunt you down if you failed them?"

"Well, yes, but-"

"There was only one place in the Nine Realms safer for you than the dungeons of Asgard. If the Chitauri came for you, you would be safe from them and we could detect them and kill them, then release you knowing you were safe."

"Then why am I not still in there? The Chitauri have not yet come," Loki pointed out.

"Two reasons. One, you were released to face a greater threat; Malaketh. Two, I said there was only one place safer for you than the dungeons of Asgard; and that is the throne of Asgard. I was not quite ready to relinquish it."

"And you are now?"

Odin smiled, "Malaketh is defeated, the Nine Realms secure. I can trust Heimdall and my personal guards to keep you safe from the Chitauri."

Loki stared at his feet for a long time, then looked up at Odin, wariness coming back into his eyes, "And why should I believe any of this? How do I know that this isn't just an elaborate story made up to stop me from throwing you into the dungeons?"

"And how would you propose to do that?" smiled Odin. They both knew Odin could easily defeat Loki in combat.

"Veil the eyes of the guards to make them think that I am you and you are me," suggested Loki.

"And now, you see why I need your mother back. She could counter your magic."

Loki smiled. But then his face clouded, "But what of Thor?"

"Thor does not want the throne. He will be happy for now if you send him back to Midgard to play with the goats."

Loki pursed his lips and gave his father a reproachful look. Then he said, "Have a care. Thor may be in love with a mortal, but he is still of Asgard, and he is my brother."