Disclaimer: I do not own Mass Effect or any of its characters, locations, or concepts. I make no profits from this endeavor.

Caffeine withdrawal was setting in. The bridge was going to get a lot less happy if Joker didn't get his third cup of coffee. However, he really wasn't in the mood to get up and deal with the crutches and braces again.

Just as he was settling into his bad mood, the Commander walked up beside him and said hello.

"You need somethin', Commander?" Joker asked impatiently.

"Not really. Just wandering around while we're en route. I'd like to get to know the crew."

Joker turned around in his seat and gave the Commander a sarcastic smile. "Oh yeah? Well, hi."

She frowned at his reluctance. "You know what? I'm gonna get some coffee. You want some coffee?"

Joker scoffed. "I can see where this is going. You did a background check on me, didn't you? Well, I'll tell you the same thing I told the captain: you want me as your pilot. I'm not good. I'm not even great. I am the best damn helmsman in the Alliance Fleet. Top of my class in flight school – I earned that! All those commendations in my file – I earned every single one! They weren't given to me as charity for my disease! So don't play nurse to me. I can get my own damn coffee."

She stepped further into his field of view. "Sorry. Geez. I didn't even know you were sick."

"You mean… you mean you didn't know? Ah, crap." Joker groaned under his breath. "Okay. I've got Vrolik's Syndrome. Brittle bone disease? The bones in my legs never developed properly; they're basically hollow; too much force and they'll shatter. Even with crutches and my leg braces, it's hard to get around. One wrong step, and CRACK! It's very dramatic." He waved his hand in the air emphatically. "But I've learned to manage my condition, Commander. Put the Normandy in my hands and I'll make her dance for you. Just don't ask me to get up and dance. Unless, y'know, you like the sound of snappin' shinbones."

"Well, I'm sorry I upset you by politely asking if you wanted coffee." The Commander said, leaning against the console and folding her arms. "I wasn't trying to insult your manliness."

"My manliness?" Joker repeated, looking up at the Commander with suspicious green eyes.

She smirked. "Mm-hmm. You seem like you want to be treated like someone who's strong and capable; not a cripple."

"I'm not a cripple!"

"I didn't say that. I said you don't want to be treated like one."

"Damn right I don't!"

"Exactly. That's why I won't treat you that way. I'll treat you like any other member of my crew. So I'll ask you again: do you want coffee?"

Joker looked down. "Yeah."

"Good. I'll keep the pot on for you." She finished teasingly, walking away.

Before she got far, Joker turned and declared, "One cream, two sugars."

She smiled over her shoulder. "What's the magic word?"

"Uh, screw you?"

She laughed lightly. "Screw you…"

"…Commander."

"Much better."

Author's Note: All of these chapters are meant to be 500 words exactly unless otherwise specified. I use Microsoft Word's word count feature for this, but for some reason, this website counts it as a word every time you hit the Enter button. I'm not sure why this happens, but if you notice that a chapter isn't exactly 500 words and it doesn't have an author's note, it's because of FFN, not a miscalculation on my part. Enjoy the story! I may come back and edit Part One since I'm not very happy with it now, but that's a project for the future. If you aren't in love with these chapters, try everything after chapter 25 or so! I've improved so much over the course of writing this story and I'm so glad I started writing it. It's made me so happy and I hope it makes you guys happy too.
-Gairi