I DON'T OWN ANYTHING

In the not-too-distant future Somewhere in Tokyo-3,

The douchebag Gendo Ikari and his SEELE bosses Were hatching an Evil Scheme.

He saw his son Shinji, An angsty teen who is also whiny.

They're scenario needed a good test case,

So they conked him on the noggin And they shot him into space.

They'll send him cheesy animes, The worst they can find (la-la-la).

He'll have to sit and watch them all,

And they'll monitor his mind (la-la-la).

Now keep in mind Shinji can't control Where the movies begin or end (la-la-la)

He'll try to keep his sanity With the help of his many girl friends.

Girl Roll Call:

Mari! (Where's Puppy Boy?!)

Rei! (How do I respond?)

Asuka! (This is Stupid!)

Misatooooo! (Time for fanservice!)

If you're wondering how he eats and breathes and other science facts (la la la), Just repeat to yourself, "Just shut the hell up, I should really just relax" For Mystery Eva Theater 3000